Should single women over 35 settle if they want children?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here:

Freezing eggs is expensive and there's a chance I might need a few cycles. I'm considering it but not sure if I'll proceed with it.

Single motherhood is out of question. I don't want to raise a child alone.

In case you're wondering, I'm not looking for Henry Cavill. I just want someone I enjoy spending time with and have chemistry with even if that person isn't physically attractive by objective standards. I'm currently dating a guy that I like talking to but I'm not too keen on the idea of sleeping with him. I was in a long term relationship with someone I really liked around. This relationship ended 4 years ago because of incompatibilities around work.

Most women raise the child alone - if you are married, odds are you are caring for your child and your husband. Why risk the extra burden? This is especially risky given you are already asking about settling.

NP. Plenty of men are present and active parents. Women should have higher standards for men.

Agree. OP however does not strike me as someone who will be exceedingly scrupulous in selecting a suitable father.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here:

Freezing eggs is expensive and there's a chance I might need a few cycles. I'm considering it but not sure if I'll proceed with it.

Single motherhood is out of question. I don't want to raise a child alone.

In case you're wondering, I'm not looking for Henry Cavill. I just want someone I enjoy spending time with and have chemistry with even if that person isn't physically attractive by objective standards. I'm currently dating a guy that I like talking to but I'm not too keen on the idea of sleeping with him. I was in a long term relationship with someone I really liked around. This relationship ended 4 years ago because of incompatibilities around work.

Jesus why would you even date a man you don’t want to sleep with ? Imagine in marriage he would want sex daily and you will grow to hate him and will become frigid yourself. Why do you waste time ? Date around find somone you are enjoying in bed and who has a similar goal in life

Plenty of people get married and don’t want to sleep with that person. I did. He did. It lasted a decade: 7 years without sex.

You did. He did. Now substantiate “plenty” with evidence.

Also 7 years without sex - meaning, he wasn’t having sex with you.

Wrong. He was low T. He never initiated. There are more sexless marriages than people think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just go the sperm bank and do it yourself.

Not everyone wants or can be a single mother. This is a very privileged take.

Not really. Even if you are married you can become a single mom at anytime (death, divorce, etc.) Do you really think all single mom out there are privileged?

Being a single mom without privilege is one of the worst gigs on the planet. No thanks. -Divorced woman who did not want to be a single mom or a SBMC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The problem with a sperm donor is you're on the hook for raising the kid on one income.

It's better to get pregnant from a hot one night stand or from a short term relationship with a guy with some money so you can at least get child support.

Even if you have to "settle" for a few encounters or a short-term relationship, it is WAY better than permanently and continuously settling in a messy, resentful marriage.

Child support is not much unless he's a celebrity of makes over 500K. Not worth it the pain of being forever tethered in parenting to a complete strangerb

This.

My ex who makes about $600K pays the legal minimum for one child which is about $1800/month.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The problem with a sperm donor is you're on the hook for raising the kid on one income.

It's better to get pregnant from a hot one night stand or from a short term relationship with a guy with some money so you can at least get child support.

Even if you have to "settle" for a few encounters or a short-term relationship, it is WAY better than permanently and continuously settling in a messy, resentful marriage.

Child support is not much unless he's a celebrity of makes over 500K. Not worth it the pain of being forever tethered in parenting to a complete strangerb

This.

My ex who makes about $600K pays the legal minimum for one child which is about $1800/month.

$1300/month for 1 child here my ex makes over a million

[Anonymous]

BTDT. BFF is a cola industry historian. BFF is attractive but is not finding that special someone. They are starting to lower their standards and it has me worried.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The problem with a sperm donor is you're on the hook for raising the kid on one income.

It's better to get pregnant from a hot one night stand or from a short term relationship with a guy with some money so you can at least get child support.

Even if you have to "settle" for a few encounters or a short-term relationship, it is WAY better than permanently and continuously settling in a messy, resentful marriage.

It’s no wonder there are so many failed marriages/relationships here with this “find penis with a garnish-able wage and fertilize yourself by any means necessary” family planning mentality.

It wouldn't be a failed relationship from the perspective of the pregnant woman.

The child is all that matters and this is not responsible family planning.

A divorce and/or years of growing up in a loveless house is far worse "family planning". Sperm bank is pricey as hell. Short-term relationship with a guy and 18 years of child support is by far the best of the available options for a mid-thirties single woman who wants kids. Once she has the kid, she will have time to find a life partner instead of racing the clock.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Not interested in being a single mother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the man checks off a lot of boxes, you are just not attracted to him, go for it. Attraction typically fades within 10 years anyway.

Novelty might wear off, but attraction persists. A person that checks your boxes but ignites no spark is a friend, not a romantic partner

Wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The problem with a sperm donor is you're on the hook for raising the kid on one income.

It's better to get pregnant from a hot one night stand or from a short term relationship with a guy with some money so you can at least get child support.

Even if you have to "settle" for a few encounters or a short-term relationship, it is WAY better than permanently and continuously settling in a messy, resentful marriage.

It’s no wonder there are so many failed marriages/relationships here with this “find penis with a garnish-able wage and fertilize yourself by any means necessary” family planning mentality.

It wouldn't be a failed relationship from the perspective of the pregnant woman.

The child is all that matters and this is not responsible family planning.

A divorce and/or years of growing up in a loveless house is far worse "family planning". Sperm bank is pricey as hell. Short-term relationship with a guy and 18 years of child support is by far the best of the available options for a mid-thirties single woman who wants kids. Once she has the kid, she will have time to find a life partner instead of racing the clock.

Who said anything about loveless? Sexual attraction is NOT love.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a 40-year-old man, I have no interest in getting involved with anyone over the age of 35.

And you thought we all needed to know this, why exactly?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Not interested in being a single mother.

OP, there's your answer. At this time in your life, you want a husband/spouse/committed partner more than you want a child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a 40-year-old man, I have no interest in getting involved with anyone over the age of 35.

And you thought we all needed to know this, why exactly?

Maybe he wants to tell that he can’t get it up. Alex Zverev can with his 7 years older GF, and doesn’t complain.
Tired of all these incapable mud age men bashing women their age.

Op - don’t you see? You better off not marrying

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Or is it better to be childless than partner up with someone you don't want?

By "settling" I don't mean "dating someone imperfect or bad on paper", I'm talking about getting with someone you're not that attracted to.

As someone who was on the opposite side - my xH wasn’t attracted to me but wanted a kid - don’t do this to someone. It’s extremely depressing to be with someone you know isn’t attracted to you. Don’t mess with someone’s mental health because you want a kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If the man checks off a lot of boxes, you are just not attracted to him, go for it. Attraction typically fades within 10 years anyway.

This.