Sleeping in on family vacation: what is reasonable?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Being together is rather the point of a family vacation

OP, also you need to accept that your barometer of "enough" time together may very well be different than theirs. Both parties liekly want things to go well. But they may know in their bones that x hours of togetherness is the right amount, and not y. More and they aren't at their best. Again, you can not and should not impose your will.

You aren't in charge. The sooner you accept that the better.

I am not interested in imposing my will. But I do think rushed breakfasts and missing out while we’re treating is tough to take. I won’t say anything, because apparently only their desires and expectations matter. But I’ll keep my mouth shut. It was DIL’s idea to go here so next year if I’m paying, I’m selecting location at least.

Holy smokes.

This was on page 2. Can't wait to see what other gems the OP posts after this.

OP, if you're wondering, your passive aggressive tendencies may be a reason that they don't want to spend more time with you. But I'm betting there are other reasons, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
OP, here's an example from our family ~ DH and I think THE BEST time to be on the beach is from 4-8pm. We don't want "family dinner". We don't want to sit around/plan for a family dinner every night. This is our vacation (and inlaws are not paying, btw) So, we do family dinner a time or two, but it's not a routine we accept.


This sounds nice. What do you do about dinner, though?

Eat something as we head out the door. Grab something to go. Make a snack when we return.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's a lake resort that DIL wanted to go to, and they probably have morning activities for the family like bird watching or fishing? So OP having paid for the full resort experience, would like her grandkids to wake up, enjoy a good breakfast, and go do the morning activities.

They didn't sign up for a long weekend at a hotel. They signed up for a resort experience with activities, at her DIL's request.

OP, my kids were always up by 6 am (annoyingly so!) so I think an early breakfast sounds great for kids!!

Bet you $100 this is OP sock puppetting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a lake resort that DIL wanted to go to, and they probably have morning activities for the family like bird watching or fishing? So OP having paid for the full resort experience, would like her grandkids to wake up, enjoy a good breakfast, and go do the morning activities.

They didn't sign up for a long weekend at a hotel. They signed up for a resort experience with activities, at her DIL's request.

OP, my kids were always up by 6 am (annoyingly so!) so I think an early breakfast sounds great for kids!!

Bet you $100 this is OP sock puppetting.

Not sure, but I agree it's strange to come up with bird watching. Like, what type of resort would expect kids to get up early and go out bird watching (?!) before even burning any energy? Insane. The person who wrote that either doesn't have kids or hasn't had kids in a LONG time. Even fishing isn't really something for 8 year olds unless it's part of other activities.

[Anonymous]

Hi everyone. I work in the leisure industry as a tour guide / tour director. Ì a used to rigid timetables and when I work my life is ruled by timings and schedules (allowing some flexibility for when things don't go to plan, beyond my control).
But ... when DH and I go on vacation, we have no rigid timetables, we don't set our alarm and we do what we feel! We have a little bucket list but we usually make our plans on the day, or the night before.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a lake resort that DIL wanted to go to, and they probably have morning activities for the family like bird watching or fishing? So OP having paid for the full resort experience, would like her grandkids to wake up, enjoy a good breakfast, and go do the morning activities.

They didn't sign up for a long weekend at a hotel. They signed up for a resort experience with activities, at her DIL's request.

OP, my kids were always up by 6 am (annoyingly so!) so I think an early breakfast sounds great for kids!!

Bet you $100 this is OP sock puppetting.

Not sure, but I agree it's strange to come up with bird watching. Like, what type of resort would expect kids to get up early and go out bird watching (?!) before even burning any energy? Insane. The person who wrote that either doesn't have kids or hasn't had kids in a LONG time. Even fishing isn't really something for 8 year olds unless it's part of other activities.

Np my 3 and 5 year old love bird watching and fishing. They’d think it was great to eat breakfast and go on a hike to go birdwatching. My 3 year old especially likes fishing and touching all the worms. They aren’t yet bored tweens who think the world isn’t fun.

That being said, they wake up at 8am and wouldn’t like to be rushed into breakfast

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Being together is rather the point of a family vacation

OP, also you need to accept that your barometer of "enough" time together may very well be different than theirs. Both parties liekly want things to go well. But they may know in their bones that x hours of togetherness is the right amount, and not y. More and they aren't at their best. Again, you can not and should not impose your will.

You aren't in charge. The sooner you accept that the better.

I am not interested in imposing my will. But I do think rushed breakfasts and missing out while we’re treating is tough to take. I won’t say anything, because apparently only their desires and expectations matter. But I’ll keep my mouth shut. It was DIL’s idea to go here so next year if I’m paying, I’m selecting location at least.

Holy smokes.

This was on page 2. Can't wait to see what other gems the OP posts after this.

OP, if you're wondering, your passive aggressive tendencies may be a reason that they don't want to spend more time with you. But I'm betting there are other reasons, too.

If your "treating" comes with expectations and you didn't communicate those expectations, then that it your own fault. You need to be clear if there are conditions to a gift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a lake resort that DIL wanted to go to, and they probably have morning activities for the family like bird watching or fishing? So OP having paid for the full resort experience, would like her grandkids to wake up, enjoy a good breakfast, and go do the morning activities.

They didn't sign up for a long weekend at a hotel. They signed up for a resort experience with activities, at her DIL's request.

OP, my kids were always up by 6 am (annoyingly so!) so I think an early breakfast sounds great for kids!!

Bet you $100 this is OP sock puppetting.

Not sure, but I agree it's strange to come up with bird watching. Like, what type of resort would expect kids to get up early and go out bird watching (?!) before even burning any energy? Insane. The person who wrote that either doesn't have kids or hasn't had kids in a LONG time. Even fishing isn't really something for 8 year olds unless it's part of other activities.

Oh for crying out loud. That was me, I'm not OP, and I was just trying to come up with some early morning Lake Resort activities. I never went to a lake resort before. What kids of activities do they do at 9 AM? I assumed it must have something to do with the lake or being out in nature.

[Anonymous]

So it is off topic but, can someone tell me typically what type of activities there would be at a lake resort that catered to families with young kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So it is off topic but, can someone tell me typically what type of activities there would be at a lake resort that catered to families with young kids?

Depends a lot on the size of the lake and the age of the kids, but we own property in a lake community in California. At the "beach" they have, wading/swimming area for kids and rentals of kayaks, small sail boats, and paddle boards. They also organize events on the weekends like a water course. In the larger community there is also a pool, bike rentals, horse back riding, hiking trails, etc. So there is potentially a lot to do.

That said, I think OP is being ridiculous. People need sleep, and very few lake resort activities have a strict start time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is reasonable to go to breakfast on your own. Meet up together at 10. You sound horrible granny

I’m not horrible! I end up cutting food and fetching more juice instead of enjoying my own food half the time.

What does this mean? Who are you cutting food for?

Are the kids going to breakfast with you without the parents?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op just curious what type of activities are being missed out on? I had to learn not to overschedule activities on vacation because although I am a go go go type of person, my DH and kids need more down time.

Oh God. There is no “go go go” on vacation. Glad you adapted.

NP, here. My sister and I are this way and we love it. We joke about how nuts we are, too. Lol!! But no one else has to put up with us so we are a good pair. Haha.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Before bed tonight, say to them, we are going to breakfast at 8 tomorrow. Would you like to join us or should we meet up after for x activity?

But the point of a family vacation is to do activities and meals together! We want to do activities with them.

Omg, OP. You sound tiring to be with.

It sounds like it has to be your way or the highway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can't control other people. Bend a little.

Get uo and have breakfast when you want.

Agree to meet up in the early afternoon for a mutually agreeable activity. Stop blaming your DIL! Why does your son escape your ire?

So many good points. OP is very hung up on the idea that she paid. One of those people who controls others via money. No thanks.

+1. So *kind* to give this *gift* and demand every moment of their time be filled as you prescribe. What a *vacation* for them. So relaxing. Do you not remember what it's like to have young children, OP? It's exhausting. You should be happy they can sleep in a little and roll a little slow in the mornings. I'll bet that your DIL recommended this place because you asked and/or you were too lazy to do the damn research yourself. She tried to make a suggestion that would fit your standards and you are hell bent on blaming her for the family schedule which is your son's fault. Good god. Writing this down for notes for my future self.

Really? I'm thinking that DIL picked a place that she and sonny boy could never afford on their own, and believes that she can operate as though this vacation is her due.

Why are you laying this all at the feet of the DIL?

For all you know, OP **asked for suggestions,*** and even if “sonny body” didn’t physically send the link, he clearly co-signed the plan.

Oh, is getting kids ready in the morning and getting them down to breakfast only women’s work?

Nice worldview.

+1. Another #boymom on the loose. Already warming up to have a sexist view that DIL should be in charge of everything, will be held responsible for all dynamics, and her perfect son is never to be criticized, questioned or blamed.

Where are the men? Why is the OP mom complaining. Does her husband speak?

Why is the DIL at fault?

This is a classic case of women putting women into boxes. I see it all the time.

Kids look messy? Mother’s fault.

Kids need to carpool? Mother’s problem.

House not clean? Woman’s fault.

Husband hungry? Wife’s fault.

Kids not waking up early? DIL’s fault.

Open up your mind, OP.

You sound a bit controlling (it’s my money! I paid) and not able to just let people BE.

When I visit my MIL, I thank God she isn’t like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Being together is rather the point of a family vacation

OP, also you need to accept that your barometer of "enough" time together may very well be different than theirs. Both parties liekly want things to go well. But they may know in their bones that x hours of togetherness is the right amount, and not y. More and they aren't at their best. Again, you can not and should not impose your will.

You aren't in charge. The sooner you accept that the better.

I am not interested in imposing my will. But I do think rushed breakfasts and missing out while we’re treating is tough to take. I won’t say anything, because apparently only their desires and expectations matter. But I’ll keep my mouth shut. It was DIL’s idea to go here so next year if I’m paying, I’m selecting location at least.

Holy smokes.

This was on page 2. Can't wait to see what other gems the OP posts after this.

OP, if you're wondering, your passive aggressive tendencies may be a reason that they don't want to spend more time with you. But I'm betting there are other reasons, too.

Agree that OP is insufferable. I am glad OP is not my MIL. So by you spending money on our behalf, we then are obligated to your whim for you to dictate how I spend my vacation time. NO THANK YOU!

OP is arrogant and ignorant. Like other posts have said, your idea of spending time together on vacation doesn’t equate their idea of a good vacation. In fact you are already making this a terrible trip by complaining that they sleep in until 8:40am instead of getting up at 8am. These poor young parents have had a tough year. Let them sleep in. So what they miss breakfast. They are probably happy to just grab something on the go. Why do you all have to be joined at the hips? Let go helicopter mom. You can keep your money.