Disgusted by Wife’s Obesity But Don’t Want a Divorce

[Anonymous]

It’s threads like this that really make me not want to read DCUM any more.

Put aside the fat shaming for a moment, although it happens on DCUM daily.

This is a woman who gave you a family. She is the mother of your children. The lack of empathy you are exhibiting is disgusting. Much more disgusting that the 40 lbs she put on. Do her a favor a divorce her. I would never want a husband like you, OP. You’ll be doing her a favor really.

Perhaps some other man raising your children and seeing them half the time will be worth the new skinny piece of ass you’ll get.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would come at this from a totally different angle - obesity is putting her at risk for lots of health issues. I would either go the indirect route and schedule a full physical for yourself, tell her any interesting results (“hey my vitamin D is low, I had no idea, maybe you should go get a physical and bloodwork also!”) or the more direct route: tell her you are scared about her health and that she might not see her kids graduate or get married or meet her grandchildren. Make sure it comes from a place of love and support, but pointing out that she is upping her chances of early death would scare me straight!

There is a very good chance that her bloodwork will come back fine, and she is not unhealthy. Sure, across a population, obesity is correlated with health risks, but that doesn’t mean it’s true for any individual person.

In fact, across a population, the much higher health risk is among people who take the weight off and gain it back again. Yo-yoing is much worse than just staying fat.

After having a number of children, and gaining weight after the birth of the last child, there is a large chance her bloodwork will come back with a thyroid issue.
I've seen it happen to friend after friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s threads like this that really make me not want to read DCUM any more.

Put aside the fat shaming for a moment, although it happens on DCUM daily.

This is a woman who gave you a family. She is the mother of your children. The lack of empathy you are exhibiting is disgusting. Much more disgusting that the 40 lbs she put on. Do her a favor a divorce her. I would never want a husband like you, OP. You’ll be doing her a favor really.

Perhaps some other man raising your children and seeing them half the time will be worth the new skinny piece of ass you’ll get.

Don’t bother trying to inject reason or compassion into this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you tell her you love her? Do you make her feel wanted? If these things aren't possible, then divorce her, because it's likely you're making her feel worse about herself because you're not showing love. Believe me, she knows she's fat, and she would much rather not be. But stress and depression and feeling unwanted likely are the causes. Good luck.

It's not possible to fake desire where none exists. Envisage forty pounds of fat. Actually visualize it. It cannot look attractive and I won't call a man shallow for refusing to like it.

I've gained 22 pounds after 3 kids. There may be very good reasons for it but I don't kid myself that it looks attractive on me. It doesn't. I look at myself naked in the mirror every morning and I don't lie to myself that what I see is an attractive body. I would look 100% better with these pounds off. OP's wife would surely look better with her 40 off.

What a stupid reply! Sexual desire is not the only way to make a woman feel wanted. In fact, it wouldn't even be in my top 5.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another thing to consider: men are notoriously bad at guessing women's weight. I honestly think it correlates with how he feels about her. Op is calling his wife obese, saying she is 40 lbs overweight. I bet she's maybe 20-25 lbs over her optimal, which is not nothing, but wouldn't matter to a man who loves his wife unconditionally. I believe op is trying to justify eventually cheating on her. He's making her the bad guy where there really isn't an issue.

You're like Trump - there must be voter cheating if they vote against me. But the cheated votes may well go the other way!

Say men are bad at guessing women's weight. So it may as well we 60 pounds, not 20!

No, when a man loves a woman, he'll guess her weight between 99lbs (for short women) and 125lbs (for tall women). When the man has a problem with the lady, he'll guess high: 145+ for short, 200+ for tall.

To test my theory: go ask your dh to guess your weight. Report back here with:
1-What he guessed
2- your actual weight and height
3- the health of your relationship

I'll go first:
1-120
2-140/ 5'7"
3-Happily married 25 years and get along nicely.

Another data point

1. 130
2. 138/5’4”
3. Doing OK

[Anonymous]

She should divorce you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another thing to consider: men are notoriously bad at guessing women's weight. I honestly think it correlates with how he feels about her. Op is calling his wife obese, saying she is 40 lbs overweight. I bet she's maybe 20-25 lbs over her optimal, which is not nothing, but wouldn't matter to a man who loves his wife unconditionally. I believe op is trying to justify eventually cheating on her. He's making her the bad guy where there really isn't an issue.

You're like Trump - there must be voter cheating if they vote against me. But the cheated votes may well go the other way!

Say men are bad at guessing women's weight. So it may as well we 60 pounds, not 20!

No, when a man loves a woman, he'll guess her weight between 99lbs (for short women) and 125lbs (for tall women). When the man has a problem with the lady, he'll guess high: 145+ for short, 200+ for tall.

To test my theory: go ask your dh to guess your weight. Report back here with:
1-What he guessed
2- your actual weight and height
3- the health of your relationship

I'll go first:
1-120
2-140/ 5'7"
3-Happily married 25 years and get along nicely.

Another data point

1. 130
2. 138/5’4”
3. Doing OK

Thanks for responding. Anyone else?

[Anonymous]

For most people in the US, being overweight simply comes down to eating too many calories and drinking too many
calories (wine).

Sure a very small percentage of people have thyroid issues.

Blaming obesity on genes and hormones is just bs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She should divorce you.

She's probably biding her time until she can extricate herself masterfully.

[Anonymous]

In support of OP,

OP is also concerned about the health of his children because
OP's wife is not modeling healthy eating habits for the children.

[Anonymous]

Did OP ever respond to whether or not his wife was on medication?

[Anonymous]

OP, Woman here. I just wanted to offer support.

5'6" I am now 140 pounds and attractive. I've been 185 pounds. It was not a good look. I was a blob with low energy and I had a lot of fatigue.

On a shorter woman the extra 40 pounds really is not a good look.

There is a lot in the news about those with some extra weight being high risk during times of Covid.

Maybe start a conversation with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, Woman here. I just wanted to offer support.

5'6" I am now 140 pounds and attractive. I've been 185 pounds. It was not a good look. I was a blob with low energy and I had a lot of fatigue.

On a shorter woman the extra 40 pounds really is not a good look.

There is a lot in the news about those with some extra weight being high risk during times of Covid.

Maybe start a conversation with that.

Lol. But he’s clearly not concerned about her health. He’s concerned that she’s less f*ckable (to him). She will see through his concern trolling in a nanosecond.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In support of OP,

OP is also concerned about the health of his children because
OP's wife is not modeling healthy eating habits for the children.

not really, that’s just justification. Sure he may be a bit concerned but mostly he is just upset that she isn’t confirming to his standard of what his wife should be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, Woman here. I just wanted to offer support.

5'6" I am now 140 pounds and attractive. I've been 185 pounds. It was not a good look. I was a blob with low energy and I had a lot of fatigue.

On a shorter woman the extra 40 pounds really is not a good look.

There is a lot in the news about those with some extra weight being high risk during times of Covid.

Maybe start a conversation with that.

Lol. But he’s clearly not concerned about her health. He’s concerned that she’s less f*ckable (to him). She will see through his concern trolling in a nanosecond.

+1 The lady knows what kind of man she is married to.