“Full time mom”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I truly need to be an ass, I say I’m a retired big law partner. (Now loving my bonus baby full time, at home, SAH, living off DH, housewife, whatever.)

This is having it all IMO. Just not all at the same time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell me please —
Is this supposed to imply that moms who work are “part time” moms? Or is it just to tell the world that one is on full time duty? Maybe I’m being dense; just want to know if this is a dig....

Yes. While you are at work, someone else is parenting your child. That's fine. It's probably just their way of demanding that people stop disrespecting parents who aren't working for pay. Unless you are insecure about your own choices, this won't bother you.

Is the Kindergarten teacher parenting your child? I'm asking sincerely.

[Anonymous]

I tell people I took early retirement. I’m well-educated and had a responsible job before having kids. I might go back someday, but probably not. Sadly, taking care of kids has turned into taking care of parents and there’s just not enough hours in the day for everything. I’m lucky that DH is willing and able to support me financially while I “support” in other ways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, please point out instances where this phrase has been used. Because it’s not.

I'm a SAHM who has never used the term, but older gentlemen have used it towards me ("oh, you are a full time mom") in conversation. I've always thought of it as an outdated phrase.

I have really only heard the terms SAHM, housewife, full time mom, etc. used to describe other people. It’s pretty rare that I hear anyone describe themselves this way. Usually people say something like “I’m a pediatrician, but I’m home with the kids right now.” Or “I retired from the army last year.” Or “I was a nurse, but I am thinking of switching into accounting when the kids get older.”
It’s rare that I hear someone respond to a question about their own paid work with answers about unpaid work.

OP here. I noticed someone from my kid’s school (a mom) who is an acquaintance of mine described herself on her Facebook profile as a “Full-time mom.”

There in lies your problem, OP. My personal philosophy is “never associate with anyone who describes themselves on their FB profile.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell me please —
Is this supposed to imply that moms who work are “part time” moms? Or is it just to tell the world that one is on full time duty? Maybe I’m being dense; just want to know if this is a dig....

Yes. While you are at work, someone else is parenting your child. That's fine. It's probably just their way of demanding that people stop disrespecting parents who aren't working for pay. Unless you are insecure about your own choices, this won't bother you.

Is the Kindergarten teacher parenting your child? I'm asking sincerely.

+1

this question has been asked numerous times in this thread by different people.

if being a full-time mom involves physically taking care of your children all day, what becomes of the full-time mom when their kids are in school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's a dig.

“Working mom” is a dig. Let’s just be honest here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell me please —
Is this supposed to imply that moms who work are “part time” moms? Or is it just to tell the world that one is on full time duty? Maybe I’m being dense; just want to know if this is a dig....

OP seems to e very insecure about her choices and quick to take offense.

[Anonymous]

FYI, *NO* parent “stays at home”.

Let’s be clear.

[Anonymous]

So when the kids are in K, is the teacher parenting them? Is mom relegated to part time? Is there any such thing as a full-time dad?

Inquiring minds are waiting...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So when the kids are in K, is the teacher parenting them? Is mom relegated to part time? Is there any such thing as a full-time dad?

Inquiring minds are waiting...

The bulk of brain development is done by about the age of 3 and all the foundational skills (walking, talking etc) are in place by around the same age. In those early years, every interaction is formative. How you respond, react, interact, talk. By the time of K - the basics are developed enough that the interactions are less important. In the early years is when attachment forms - again based on the response and interactions the infant and toddler has throughout the day. How someone responds when they cry or when they are hurt or scared or express any emotion. Within a few years of life all those patterns are already in place. Initially they are completely dependent so they need all actions done for them, by 5 they are pretty much doing everything on their own.

What a child needs at 3 months or 12 months is very different from that they need at 4 years or 5 years. What a K teacher can provide is appropriate for a 5 year old, it is not appropriate for an 18 month old...hence why 18 month olds don't go to K.

I am not of the camp that it needs to be a parent there the first few years but the infant / toddler does need an engaged, caring, responsive caregiver who can do the in loco parentis role if the parent is not there. They need to be held and fed and changed and communicated with. They need to be loved and responded to and cared for and engaged. They need these things 24 hours initially - slowly decreasing as they age until by K, they have sufficient development that they can be in a large group setting with a school teacher as they no longer need most of those things to sustain life, form foundations or establish attachment.

[Anonymous]

That’s cool and all but doesn’t even come close to answering the question.

[Anonymous]

I prefer domestic goddess. YMMV

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That’s cool and all but doesn’t even come close to answering the question.

No the teacher isn't parenting. Once the kids are in school, then mom or dad - who ever is at home is no longer fully occupied as a full time mom.
My SIL stayed home. For 3 years she had 4 kids (in 4 years) at home with her. She was a full time mom - that was all she did 24 hours a day was be a mom. Once her kids were in school, she did other things in her day.

Anyways. It is again all just semantics. Everyone knows it just means you are home with your kids during the day versus being at work during the day and paying someone to care for your kids.

[Anonymous]

There's judgment both ways. Let's not pretend otherwise. As a WOHM, I have listened to sooooo many comments from non-WOHMs that are tiny little digs. How HARD it must be not to be able to raise my own children. How much my daughter must MISS me. How they could NEVER leave their kids ALONE WITH STRANGERS like that. Etc., etc.

It gets old, so the implication that one can be anything other than a full time mom does indeed grate on my nerves. I've never been a part-time mom. Did I have others helping care for my children between the ages of 1 and 5 yrs? Yep. I also contribute to my family's security by working. No "mom credit" for that though because it's viewed as a selfish choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That’s cool and all but doesn’t even come close to answering the question.

No the teacher isn't parenting. Once the kids are in school, then mom or dad - who ever is at home is no longer fully occupied as a full time mom.
My SIL stayed home. For 3 years she had 4 kids (in 4 years) at home with her. She was a full time mom - that was all she did 24 hours a day was be a mom. Once her kids were in school, she did other things in her day.

Anyways. It is again all just semantics. Everyone knows it just means you are home with your kids during the day versus being at work during the day and paying someone to care for your kids.

Except these days teachers are actually doing tons of parenting responsibilities. As a former teacher, one parent actually told me, “Thank you for providing the only stability my child has.” The parent were in chaotic custody fight.