“Full time mom”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That’s cool and all but doesn’t even come close to answering the question.

No the teacher isn't parenting. Once the kids are in school, then mom or dad - who ever is at home is no longer fully occupied as a full time mom.
My SIL stayed home. For 3 years she had 4 kids (in 4 years) at home with her. She was a full time mom - that was all she did 24 hours a day was be a mom. Once her kids were in school, she did other things in her day.

Anyways. It is again all just semantics. Everyone knows it just means you are home with your kids during the day versus being at work during the day and paying someone to care for your kids.

Except these days teachers are actually doing tons of parenting responsibilities. As a former teacher, one parent actually told me, “Thank you for providing the only stability my child has.” The parent were in chaotic custody fight.

*parents

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There's judgment both ways. Let's not pretend otherwise. As a WOHM, I have listened to sooooo many comments from non-WOHMs that are tiny little digs. How HARD it must be not to be able to raise my own children. How much my daughter must MISS me. How they could NEVER leave their kids ALONE WITH STRANGERS like that. Etc., etc.

It gets old, so the implication that one can be anything other than a full time mom does indeed grate on my nerves. I've never been a part-time mom. Did I have others helping care for my children between the ages of 1 and 5 yrs? Yep. I also contribute to my family's security by working. No "mom credit" for that though because it's viewed as a selfish choice.

Is financial security the only kind that matters?
What about emotional security?
How about the fact that little children require care that is 1) Stable 2) Competent 3) Loving. Few lucky parents can find that, even those who can well afford to buy it.

[Anonymous]

People who interpret this phrase as a dig are projecting their issues.

As an analogy, some people call themselves pro-life. Do we hear cries of protest from the other side of the abortion debate saying “that’s not fair! We’re not pro-death! You can’t call yourself pro-life!” No we don’t, because that would be silly.

The people who are actually in the situation get to name themselves. Not the opposite side. Sometimes I wonder what exactly WOHMs think is an appropriate term for a parent at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People who interpret this phrase as a dig are projecting their issues.

As an analogy, some people call themselves pro-life. Do we hear cries of protest from the other side of the abortion debate saying “that’s not fair! We’re not pro-death! You can’t call yourself pro-life!” No we don’t, because that would be silly.

The people who are actually in the situation get to name themselves. Not the opposite side. Sometimes I wonder what exactly WOHMs think is an appropriate term for a parent at home.

Actually this does happen, a lot. You guys really need to stop with the ridiculous arguments that make yourselves look worse. It’s only fuel for the “SAHMs are dumb and uneducated” posters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People who interpret this phrase as a dig are projecting their issues.

As an analogy, some people call themselves pro-life. Do we hear cries of protest from the other side of the abortion debate saying “that’s not fair! We’re not pro-death! You can’t call yourself pro-life!” No we don’t, because that would be silly.

The people who are actually in the situation get to name themselves. Not the opposite side. Sometimes I wonder what exactly WOHMs think is an appropriate term for a parent at home.

If this is supposed to be sarcastic, I'm missing the punchline. Yes? This is a thing that happens in the abortion debate with some regularity.

That said, full-time mom doesn't bother me. Even the SAHMs chiming in with digs in this thread, whether because they feel attacked or because attacking is their default, don't bother me. I know my family, I own my choices, I think we're all doing the best we can. Don't read other people Facebook descriptions of themselves and you can't be bothered by them!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who interpret this phrase as a dig are projecting their issues.

As an analogy, some people call themselves pro-life. Do we hear cries of protest from the other side of the abortion debate saying “that’s not fair! We’re not pro-death! You can’t call yourself pro-life!” No we don’t, because that would be silly.

The people who are actually in the situation get to name themselves. Not the opposite side. Sometimes I wonder what exactly WOHMs think is an appropriate term for a parent at home.

If this is supposed to be sarcastic, I'm missing the punchline. Yes? This is a thing that happens in the abortion debate with some regularity.

That said, full-time mom doesn't bother me. Even the SAHMs chiming in with digs in this thread, whether because they feel attacked or because attacking is their default, don't bother me. I know my family, I own my choices, I think we're all doing the best we can. Don't read other people Facebook descriptions of themselves and you can't be bothered by them!

Actually no, I didn’t intend it to be sarcastic. I am a pro-choice voter and have never heard of people freaking out and feeling defensive about their opponents calling themselves pro-life. But it seems like in general we agree on the the “full-time mom” thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's judgment both ways. Let's not pretend otherwise. As a WOHM, I have listened to sooooo many comments from non-WOHMs that are tiny little digs. How HARD it must be not to be able to raise my own children. How much my daughter must MISS me. How they could NEVER leave their kids ALONE WITH STRANGERS like that. Etc., etc.

It gets old, so the implication that one can be anything other than a full time mom does indeed grate on my nerves. I've never been a part-time mom. Did I have others helping care for my children between the ages of 1 and 5 yrs? Yep. I also contribute to my family's security by working. No "mom credit" for that though because it's viewed as a selfish choice.

Is financial security the only kind that matters?
What about emotional security?
How about the fact that little children require care that is 1) Stable 2) Competent 3) Loving. Few lucky parents can find that, even those who can well afford to buy it.

I didn't say that financial security is the only thing that matters. But I challenge you to tell me how you can provide stability (your #1 below) with no financial security. Food, clothing and housing are pretty important.

We were fortunate enough that we were able to find stable, competent and loving caregivers for our children. And, I think there are far more parents that find that than you might want to believe. Reading between the lines, it would seem you think the majority of non-parental childcare out there is this world is unstable and caregivers are incompetent and unloving (thus justifying the story that you tell yourself that only a PARENT at home can provide stable, competent, loving care).

Our kids all know exactly who mom & dad are and that mom & dad are always going to be around. Our kids also know that nanny Kayla adored them and came to visit for years, and that au pair Angela has returned from her home country twice to visit us because she loves them dearly. They also DON'T know what it's like to be hungry, cold, or uncertain where they'll sleep the next week, which can be a genuine reality when a single-earner family suffers a job loss. I grew up with a single parent (she worked, in order to feed us) and there was always a level of fear and uncertainty about what would happen if anything became of her job. Based on my own upbringing, knowing what an absolutely remarkable, committed, and amazing WORKING mother I had, and understanding financial insecurity from a young age, I've decided that one of the many ways I can be the best mother to my children is to provide them with financial security IN ADDITION TO my unconditional love and support.

[Anonymous]

In one Bethesda school I know, it’s common for the teacher to be referred to as the “co-parent”.

Once the caregiver/educator spends more hours per week with the child than the parents do, I think “co-parent” is accurate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
In one Bethesda school I know, it’s common for the teacher to be referred to as the “co-parent”.

Once the caregiver/educator spends more hours per week with the child than the parents do, I think “co-parent” is accurate.

You’re nuts.

[Anonymous]

I never know what to say. I’m with my baby/toddler children during the week and work 2 shifts on the weekend (healthcare).

So I hang out and do all the SAHM/full time mom things but also am a WOHM.

“I work weekends” is what I say.

But anyone trying to say they WOHM full time and do everything a SAHM does for baby/toddler years has a personal issue. And feigning being obtuse about the different needs of an infant versus a Kindergartener is not helping the case.

You drop your baby off at 630-7 am and pickup at 5-6 pm, you are not parenting during those hours. You see your baby/toddler a couple hours a day and it’s early bedtime.
It’s fine, have at it, but it is what it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I never know what to say. I’m with my baby/toddler children during the week and work 2 shifts on the weekend (healthcare).

So I hang out and do all the SAHM/full time mom things but also am a WOHM.

“I work weekends” is what I say.

But anyone trying to say they WOHM full time and do everything a SAHM does for baby/toddler years has a personal issue. And feigning being obtuse about the different needs of an infant versus a Kindergartener is not helping the case.

You drop your baby off at 630-7 am and pickup at 5-6 pm, you are not parenting during those hours. You see your baby/toddler a couple hours a day and it’s early bedtime.
It’s fine, have at it, but it is what it is.

I just wanted to say thank you. I used to work that shift also and I never knew what to say. It’s exhausting! And finding a babysitter for work if their other parent is not in town is damn near impossible, or at least more expensive since it’s the “Weekend”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
In one Bethesda school I know, it’s common for the teacher to be referred to as the “co-parent”.

Once the caregiver/educator spends more hours per week with the child than the parents do, I think “co-parent” is accurate.

You’re nuts.

Which part do you not like?
“Primary caregiver” is another term I’ve heard for whomever provides the most hours of care of a young child. Or course this can be either parent or other family member, a daycare worker, or a nanny.

Perhaps it’s also worthwhile to mention that providing the “best” care, requires knowing the child, and what are the child’s changing needs. It’s next to impossible to know a child without spending many hours with her. You can’t expect to review some daily notes to make up for lost time spent together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
In one Bethesda school I know, it’s common for the teacher to be referred to as the “co-parent”.

Once the caregiver/educator spends more hours per week with the child than the parents do, I think “co-parent” is accurate.

You’re nuts.

Which part do you not like?
“Primary caregiver” is another term I’ve heard for whomever provides the most hours of care of a young child. Or course this can be either parent or other family member, a daycare worker, or a nanny.

Perhaps it’s also worthwhile to mention that providing the “best” care, requires knowing the child, and what are the child’s changing needs. It’s next to impossible to know a child without spending many hours with her. You can’t expect to review some daily notes to make up for lost time spent together.

My war refugee relatives who were separated from their parents for years due to violence seem far closer to their parents than most of the spoiled children of the judgmental SAHMs of DCUM. Also, more functional.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
In one Bethesda school I know, it’s common for the teacher to be referred to as the “co-parent”.

Once the caregiver/educator spends more hours per week with the child than the parents do, I think “co-parent” is accurate.

You’re nuts.

Which part do you not like?
“Primary caregiver” is another term I’ve heard for whomever provides the most hours of care of a young child. Or course this can be either parent or other family member, a daycare worker, or a nanny.

Perhaps it’s also worthwhile to mention that providing the “best” care, requires knowing the child, and what are the child’s changing needs. It’s next to impossible to know a child without spending many hours with her. You can’t expect to review some daily notes to make up for lost time spent together.

My war refugee relatives who were separated from their parents for years due to violence seem far closer to their parents than most of the spoiled children of the judgmental SAHMs of DCUM. Also, more functional.

I’m not surprised. FYI, just because a parent is a “full time caregiver”, it doesn’t mean automatic superiority. Think Adam Lanza. His wealthy “stay at home” mother spoiled him rotten. I believe she allowed him to do whatever he wanted to do.

Good parenting is very hard work. Some children are indeed better off with “The Hell of American Daycare”, or a stable, competent and loving nanny at home. But how many children are lucky enough to get all of that during their first three foundational years?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
In one Bethesda school I know, it’s common for the teacher to be referred to as the “co-parent”.

Once the caregiver/educator spends more hours per week with the child than the parents do, I think “co-parent” is accurate.

You’re nuts.

Which part do you not like?
“Primary caregiver” is another term I’ve heard for whomever provides the most hours of care of a young child. Or course this can be either parent or other family member, a daycare worker, or a nanny.

Perhaps it’s also worthwhile to mention that providing the “best” care, requires knowing the child, and what are the child’s changing needs. It’s next to impossible to know a child without spending many hours with her. You can’t expect to review some daily notes to make up for lost time spent together.

Lol ok. Teachers are commonly referred to as co-parents