Op here, I said I talked to them nicely and I was nice to them. Not that I am nice... but since you were not there, how would you know. |
OP here - how about this: maybe the other parent has no manners. Even the aftercare provider commented. Since you are not there, how would you know. |
OP here - guys, it's fine. I get it: in this society, many parents don't know how to handle if another adult engages with their kid. No further comments needed, thanks. I talked to the aftercare provider and the person said I did nothing wrong and the other parent is just very defensive, probably has her reasons, who knows what's going on in their life. I would be happy if this happened to my kids and I would welcome helpful interactions from other adults. So that's it, no further comments needed, thanks for your feedback, all! |
So, you asked a question, people gave you lots of different perspectives, and your takeaway is that your initial idea is the right one and everyone else is wrong. Were you really interested in hearing what other people think, or did you just want everyone to know what you think? |
I was not there but I have seen situations like this and I have seen that sometimes people don’t see the whole picture. The after care provider should not be making comments to you about other parents. That is very unprofessional. And if the worker is making comments to you about other parents, how would you know if the worker is making comments about you to other parents? |
Admonishing my children about your kids shortcomings on the playground is not nice OP, it doesn't matter how nicely you said it. Next time keep it to yourself. Address your own children. |
the aftercare worker reported to you that your child was excluded? was he indicating that you child did not take it well or was it an actual complaint about the other kids? also just like you can't force kids to play together, you can't force the other mom to like you either. you seem to be more unhappy about the latter, just let it go, don't take it personally. and btw, happens in all cultures. |
OP here- helicopter parents, calm down. I asked aftercare provider if I did something wrong and what the rules of engagement were and if it was against the rules to engage with friends of my kids. I am not going to explain every detail of the situation. Aftercare provider is very professional. I don’t want to be friends with other parent, but find her rude, given the circumstances, i. e. Kids have bern friends for a few years now. My post was asking if I am not supposed to talk to other kids at aftercare. I was not asking for your opinion if you think I am nice or not. I know I am nice to those kids and all of my kids’ friends. I did nothing wrong, but I know that many parents are sensitive if the parent of their friend will talk to them, unless it is telling them how wonderful they are or if do small talk. |
Sorry, it is never professional for a teacher or staff member to comment on one parent to another parent. If s/he is willing to discuss another parent with you, I would not be surprised if she is making comments about you to other parents. The other parent has been able to observe your behavior for a few years now and is making a choice not to pursue friendship with you. Is this the first time one of your “friendly chats” has involved discussing the children’s behavior with them? |
You’re mistaken, OP. Many of us handle it by telling our kids they do not have to listen to adults who aren’t authority figures such as teachers or police officers. You can welcome it for your kids, but mine are taught to walk away from you and not engage. |
OP you need to understand that it is you that is the helicopter in this situation. Let the kids patrol their own social interactions. |
I work in childcare, and I volunteer at school. Unlike you, I’m VERY careful about how I approach discipline for kids whom I have never been granted authority. |
Your house, no problem. OP did not see the incident, and it was at aftercare, NOT her home... |
Which means that THEIR PARENT had a chance to... PARENT! You are not their parent, therefore should not have taken it on yourself! |
So engage with yours and theirs. Leave the rest alone! |