Behavioral Issues at Private Schools

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's clear from this thread that lots of PPs view their kids as investments/commodities to extract ROI.

Find a new cause.

An investment in education, or anything, is not what you are misguidedly harping about as a commodity (is mass produced something of little differentiated value versus peers?) or an ROi outcome (r u talking about fungible monetary value or something intangible?).

We invest in Hebrew school for our boys to now their religion, we invest in a healthy diet so we take care of our bodies, we invest in music lessons so our kids can better enjoy singing/the arts/have a positive interest, we invest in large family gatherings so our families build memories and relationships, we invest in our various communities so we can help and get help, we invest in our children’s education so they can learn the best they can, develop interests and grow them.

Roi of a good education comes in the form of developing well-adjusted, well-balanced, hard working kids who become productive members of society. Now we can go define each of those words but I’ll tell you right now, my spouse and I do not need any monetary ROI from our kids. They will have to support their own lives and endeavors after college via their own marketable skills, jobs and careers. And they have been told this for years.

There is great privilege in saying you are investing $500k in a K-12 education just so they can grow and develop interests. The vast majority of people can’t afford that so they take the risk that children can somehow grow and develop interests for free.

That's just silly. Somehow it is "privilege" or not depending on why the parent opts for private school?

Ok, I’ll restate. The OP asked why people choose private. Many say essentially “because I want them to grow and learn and enjoy school.” My point is, this statement implies you are making a $500k bet that students can only grow and learn and enjoy life at private schools. The only people willing to take that bet are those with crazy high incomes. Sure, any of us would pay that kind of money to save our children’s lives. But only a precious few would pay it on the off chance that their kids will be a little happier.

As a product of a big 3 and Ivy, I agree. We are doing public (not a financial issue). There’s abundant evidence that the best predictors of happiness and success as an adult is a supportive, consistent home environment. The elitism and societal separation that these schools propagate - and no particular documented benefit, much less one to the tune of $500k + - aren’t one we want our kids exposed to. YMMV.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's really weird how some of the PPs above insist that they know exactly what is going on in the life and motivations of every single person who sends a child to private school in the world.

And I think it’s really weird that some of these fancy private school parents insist these schools aren’t elitist, are socioeconomically diverse, don’t care about college outcomes, etc.

Own your choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's really weird how some of the PPs above insist that they know exactly what is going on in the life and motivations of every single person who sends a child to private school in the world.

And I think it’s really weird that some of these fancy private school parents insist these schools aren’t elitist, are socioeconomically diverse, don’t care about college outcomes, etc.

Own your choices.

Dude, what? I do not think there is a single private parent in this thread who has insisted any of what you wrote. Bizarre.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's really weird how some of the PPs above insist that they know exactly what is going on in the life and motivations of every single person who sends a child to private school in the world.

And I think it’s really weird that some of these fancy private school parents insist these schools aren’t elitist, are socioeconomically diverse, don’t care about college outcomes, etc.

Own your choices.

I’ll own my choices. I don’t have to own your weird opinions about what private schools and the families who choose them must be like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's really weird how some of the PPs above insist that they know exactly what is going on in the life and motivations of every single person who sends a child to private school in the world.

And I think it’s really weird that some of these fancy private school parents insist these schools aren’t elitist, are socioeconomically diverse, don’t care about college outcomes, etc.

Own your choices.

Dude, what? I do not think there is a single private parent in this thread who has insisted any of what you wrote. Bizarre.

Seriously? Go back 2-3 pages.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's really weird how some of the PPs above insist that they know exactly what is going on in the life and motivations of every single person who sends a child to private school in the world.

And I think it’s really weird that some of these fancy private school parents insist these schools aren’t elitist, are socioeconomically diverse, don’t care about college outcomes, etc.

Own your choices.

I’ll own my choices. I don’t have to own your weird opinions about what private schools and the families who choose them must be like.

I’m a private school person. Do you admit what Pp stated?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's really weird how some of the PPs above insist that they know exactly what is going on in the life and motivations of every single person who sends a child to private school in the world.

And I think it’s really weird that some of these fancy private school parents insist these schools aren’t elitist, are socioeconomically diverse, don’t care about college outcomes, etc.

Own your choices.

Dude, what? I do not think there is a single private parent in this thread who has insisted any of what you wrote. Bizarre.

Seriously? Go back 2-3 pages.

I have. There aren't posters who wrote that the schools don't care about college outcomes or that they aren't elite or that they are particularly diverse. There are posters who said they do not care about college outcomes and then a bunch who are screaming that they must be lying.

Look, I am a huge supporter of public schools and sent one of mine to a public school you probably wouldn't let your darlings near, but I don't feel the need to make things up about private schools wholesale.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's clear from this thread that lots of PPs view their kids as investments/commodities to extract ROI.

Find a new cause.

An investment in education, or anything, is not what you are misguidedly harping about as a commodity (is mass produced something of little differentiated value versus peers?) or an ROi outcome (r u talking about fungible monetary value or something intangible?).

We invest in Hebrew school for our boys to now their religion, we invest in a healthy diet so we take care of our bodies, we invest in music lessons so our kids can better enjoy singing/the arts/have a positive interest, we invest in large family gatherings so our families build memories and relationships, we invest in our various communities so we can help and get help, we invest in our children’s education so they can learn the best they can, develop interests and grow them.

Roi of a good education comes in the form of developing well-adjusted, well-balanced, hard working kids who become productive members of society. Now we can go define each of those words but I’ll tell you right now, my spouse and I do not need any monetary ROI from our kids. They will have to support their own lives and endeavors after college via their own marketable skills, jobs and careers. And they have been told this for years.

There is great privilege in saying you are investing $500k in a K-12 education just so they can grow and develop interests. The vast majority of people can’t afford that so they take the risk that children can somehow grow and develop interests for free.

That's just silly. Somehow it is "privilege" or not depending on why the parent opts for private school?

Ok, I’ll restate. The OP asked why people choose private. Many say essentially “because I want them to grow and learn and enjoy school.” My point is, this statement implies you are making a $500k bet that students can only grow and learn and enjoy life at private schools. The only people willing to take that bet are those with crazy high incomes. Sure, any of us would pay that kind of money to save our children’s lives. But only a precious few would pay it on the off chance that their kids will be a little happier.

So then you admit there are parents who don't care about college. I thought you said they were all lying?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's really weird how some of the PPs above insist that they know exactly what is going on in the life and motivations of every single person who sends a child to private school in the world.

And I think it’s really weird that some of these fancy private school parents insist these schools aren’t elitist, are socioeconomically diverse, don’t care about college outcomes, etc.

Own your choices.

Dude, what? I do not think there is a single private parent in this thread who has insisted any of what you wrote. Bizarre.

Seriously? Go back 2-3 pages.

I have. There aren't posters who wrote that the schools don't care about college outcomes or that they aren't elite or that they are particularly diverse. There are posters who said they do not care about college outcomes and then a bunch who are screaming that they must be lying.

Look, I am a huge supporter of public schools and sent one of mine to a public school you probably wouldn't let your darlings near, but I don't feel the need to make things up about private schools wholesale.

I’m genuinely confused about what you’re reading. Here’s a direct quote.

there. is. more. to. life. than. getting. into. an. ivy. league. school.

I will strongly encourage my kids to go to college for so many reasons, but if one of them didn't go to college and instead pursued a different path (even after all that cash of private school!) I'd be fully supportive.
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[Anonymous]

You wrote that THE SCHOOLS didn't care about outcomes. I am responding to what you wrote. Nobody said anything like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG pp's do you hear yourselves? Do you realize what perspective you are coming from? I'm actually in a similar situation but you sound so ridiculously tone-deaf it's hard to believe you're real.

Same here. The level of condescension, wow.

+100

Can you believe!??

Me and my husband and all of our siblings and all of their spouses went to Ivys. But we don’t care if our kids do. It doesn’t really mean anything. Maybe Johnny can be a painter and we will all subsidize his Brooklyn apartment and buy his paintings from him. He’ll be successful regardless! All because of grit and commitment! We are so progressive!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG pp's do you hear yourselves? Do you realize what perspective you are coming from? I'm actually in a similar situation but you sound so ridiculously tone-deaf it's hard to believe you're real.

Same here. The level of condescension, wow.

+100

Can you believe!??

Me and my husband and all of our siblings and all of their spouses went to Ivys. But we don’t care if our kids do. It doesn’t really mean anything. Maybe Johnny can be a painter and we will all subsidize his Brooklyn apartment and buy his paintings from him. He’ll be successful regardless! All because of grit and commitment! We are so progressive!

“Me and my husband” went to Ivys??

Sure you did. Lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG pp's do you hear yourselves? Do you realize what perspective you are coming from? I'm actually in a similar situation but you sound so ridiculously tone-deaf it's hard to believe you're real.

Same here. The level of condescension, wow.

+100

Can you believe!??

Me and my husband and all of our siblings and all of their spouses went to Ivys. But we don’t care if our kids do. It doesn’t really mean anything. Maybe Johnny can be a painter and we will all subsidize his Brooklyn apartment and buy his paintings from him. He’ll be successful regardless! All because of grit and commitment! We are so progressive!

“Me and my husband” went to Ivys??

Sure you did. Lol.

Um.... yikes. That was sarcasm, you freaking moron.

[Anonymous]

Didn't read the thread but will still comment.

The beauty of private school is that you can choose. If you don't like something about the school, move to another. Simple as that.

Public, on the other hand, is another story. You are stuck with whoever is there...teachers, students, admin. You cannot decide to go to another public. However, if you are willing to spend the money, you can find a private that is a good fit.

That is the beauty of private vs. public.

The end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Didn't read the thread but will still comment.

The beauty of private school is that you can choose. If you don't like something about the school, move to another. Simple as that.

Public, on the other hand, is another story. You are stuck with whoever is there...teachers, students, admin. You cannot decide to go to another public. However, if you are willing to spend the money, you can find a private that is a good fit.

That is the beauty of private vs. public.

The end.

+ 1. And frankly I don’t give a damn what anyone thinks about my choices. Live and let live