SAHMs: Stop complaining to me about how busy you are

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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I’ve never used a SAHM for anything. All the class volunteers in my kids classrooms work. What exactly is this labor? And are they forced to do it? *tiny violin

I often get called on snow days or other days off school to babysit and its annoying. They aren't offering to pay and I want those days with my kids. If I wanted their kid, I'd invite them. And, when I take their kids, I get stuck paying for the outing so their free babysitting costs me money. Our school doesn't have classroom volunteers. Will not allow it. There is a strong expectation that SAHM's help out with child care and other stuff because they are home and people think we are bored. I have plenty to do.

Whatever happened to it takes a village? Sad selfish existence PP.

Really? I’m also a sahm and sick of providing free childcare. I could use the money — and find it ironic that if I ask a fellow parent’s nanny to watch or pick up my kid I have to pay.

It's funny that the same people who whine about the "Village" are the first to mock SAHMs if they ever dare not comply with every demand - free babysitting, volunteering, rides - all unreciprocated - of, course! the list goes on. The entitlement is bizarre - no wonder SAHMs are staying far far away from you.

PPs, if you don't have a village it's because you burned it down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh look. Another whiny WOHM.

OP, you can't handle working and parenting then quit.

Oh I can handle it fine. I just can't handle listening to SAHMs who have school aged kids complain they are busy. Especially when it's to get out of helping out on things like school functions or girl scout activities.

There it is!!! You’re mad because the SAHMs aren’t providing as much free labor as you would like them to.

Guess what? Nobody owes you free labor regardless of work status. Grow up OP. Read some threads about how so many people hate school functions and room parents make insane demands for class parties, don’t even get me started on the PTA...

Hahahaha free labor?? You are a free LOADER if your child participates in any school activities, field trips, lunch program, carline, after school enrichment like scouts or sports, if you never help out in any way. All of these activities require volunteers to make it happen. I think perhaps you are the one who needs to grow up for the sake of your children. Sad that your child never has your participation in these things yet benefits from them.

SAHMs calling others freeloaders. The ultimate irony.

This is such an interesting dynamic. Working moms denigrate SAHMs all the time, yet feel entitled to these women's unpaid labor. I wonder how these women keep a job with such terrible social skills.

In what sense? I’ve never used a SAHM for anything. All the class volunteers in my kids classrooms work. What exactly is this labor? And are they forced to do it? *tiny violin

I often get called on snow days or other days off school to babysit and its annoying. They aren't offering to pay and I want those days with my kids. If I wanted their kid, I'd invite them. And, when I take their kids, I get stuck paying for the outing so their free babysitting costs me money. Our school doesn't have classroom volunteers. Will not allow it. There is a strong expectation that SAHM's help out with child care and other stuff because they are home and people think we are bored. I have plenty to do.

Whatever happened to it takes a village? Sad selfish existence PP.

A village means mutually helping each other and sadly that's rare. I am at home for my family, not yours. If you want me to help, you need to help me (not that I need help as my husband and I work it out and its a non-issue). It doesn't take a village. They are your kid and you are responsible for them, not me. I don't mind helping out in an emergency or if we were to trade off, but when its one sided, that is called using someone, not a village. The only reason I do take kids like yours is I feel sorry for them that they have crappy parents like you.

I am far from selfish. I have to manage my own family and several extended family members. You have no idea what goes on in some else life and why they aren't working. But, I am not working to be your village so you can make money, while I care for your kids unpaid. How about you watch mine and do the things I need done for free so I can get a paid job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I recently listened to a friend complain about how she had so much to do with planning travel, her kids meal planning (no special needs she’s just really into health). I have four kids and work full time and travel a lot. Same with my husband. We do have a full time nanny.

Friend doesn’t work outside the home and kids are school and she has a full time nanny and housekeeper. It just seemed tone deaf

As does your whining since you have a full time nanny. Honestly just one nanny? And a daily housekeeper? I assume your SAH friend has a full time housekeeper too? Why did you have kids if you are only a vallet to them?

In not whining. I just felt that complaining about how stressful vacation planning at luxury resorts can be and how busy it makes one was time deaf given that she was talking to someone with a job and more kids... esp because she literally does zero housework and has full time care even when kids are in scholl

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I recently listened to a friend complain about how she had so much to do with planning travel, her kids meal planning (no special needs she’s just really into health). I have four kids and work full time and travel a lot. Same with my husband. We do have a full time nanny.

Friend doesn’t work outside the home and kids are school and she has a full time nanny and housekeeper. It just seemed tone deaf

As does your whining since you have a full time nanny. Honestly just one nanny? And a daily housekeeper? I assume your SAH friend has a full time housekeeper too? Why did you have kids if you are only a vallet to them?

In not whining. I just felt that complaining about how stressful vacation planning at luxury resorts can be and how busy it makes one was time deaf given that she was talking to someone with a job and more kids... esp because she literally does zero housework and has full time care even when kids are in scholl

Sorry, no empathy as most of us are cleaning our own houses and taking care of our own kids. If you and she are having nannies and housekeepers and staying at luxury resorts, most of us cannot relate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think SAHMs don’t have as helpful of husbands as working women so they have to make up for it. Leading them to be busier. I’m shocked at what my sahm friends let their husbands get away with. One man hadn’t ever changed a diaper, another hadn’t ever read a book to his kid ever.

This is an interesting theory - perhaps SAHM are more likely to come from conservatiovr it more gender traditional households and thus do do much more work because that’s the sort of marriage they are in. In other words if the husbands don’t do 10% of anything of course they have to stay home and clean do all children care etc

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh look. Another whiny WOHM.

OP, you can't handle working and parenting then quit.

Oh I can handle it fine. I just can't handle listening to SAHMs who have school aged kids complain they are busy. Especially when it's to get out of helping out on things like school functions or girl scout activities.

There it is!!! You’re mad because the SAHMs aren’t providing as much free labor as you would like them to.

Guess what? Nobody owes you free labor regardless of work status. Grow up OP. Read some threads about how so many people hate school functions and room parents make insane demands for class parties, don’t even get me started on the PTA...

Hahahaha free labor?? You are a free LOADER if your child participates in any school activities, field trips, lunch program, carline, after school enrichment like scouts or sports, if you never help out in any way. All of these activities require volunteers to make it happen. I think perhaps you are the one who needs to grow up for the sake of your children. Sad that your child never has your participation in these things yet benefits from them.

Let’s be clear though - many activities like this are made up by mothers at home. Not all but many. Make work programs are fine but don’t force people with other priorities to participate so your time is validated

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh look. Another whiny WOHM.

OP, you can't handle working and parenting then quit.

Oh I can handle it fine. I just can't handle listening to SAHMs who have school aged kids complain they are busy. Especially when it's to get out of helping out on things like school functions or girl scout activities.

There it is!!! You’re mad because the SAHMs aren’t providing as much free labor as you would like them to.

Guess what? Nobody owes you free labor regardless of work status. Grow up OP. Read some threads about how so many people hate school functions and room parents make insane demands for class parties, don’t even get me started on the PTA...

Hahahaha free labor?? You are a free LOADER if your child participates in any school activities, field trips, lunch program, carline, after school enrichment like scouts or sports, if you never help out in any way. All of these activities require volunteers to make it happen. I think perhaps you are the one who needs to grow up for the sake of your children. Sad that your child never has your participation in these things yet benefits from them.

Let’s be clear though - many activities like this are made up by mothers at home. Not all but many. Make work programs are fine but don’t force people with other priorities to participate so your time is validated

I love the mental gymnastics!

OP wants the SAHMs to volunteer for busywork and is mad they said no. Then you guys either freak out calling them feeloaders OR try to reframe it as, actually, it’s the SAHMs who want these school volunteer events to validate their time. No wonder nobody wants to volunteer at your functions... You guys sound insane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh look. Another whiny WOHM.

OP, you can't handle working and parenting then quit.

Oh I can handle it fine. I just can't handle listening to SAHMs who have school aged kids complain they are busy. Especially when it's to get out of helping out on things like school functions or girl scout activities.

There it is!!! You’re mad because the SAHMs aren’t providing as much free labor as you would like them to.

Guess what? Nobody owes you free labor regardless of work status. Grow up OP. Read some threads about how so many people hate school functions and room parents make insane demands for class parties, don’t even get me started on the PTA...

Hahahaha free labor?? You are a free LOADER if your child participates in any school activities, field trips, lunch program, carline, after school enrichment like scouts or sports, if you never help out in any way. All of these activities require volunteers to make it happen. I think perhaps you are the one who needs to grow up for the sake of your children. Sad that your child never has your participation in these things yet benefits from them.

SAHMs calling others freeloaders. The ultimate irony.

This is such an interesting dynamic. Working moms denigrate SAHMs all the time, yet feel entitled to these women's unpaid labor. I wonder how these women keep a job with such terrible social skills.

In what sense? I’ve never used a SAHM for anything. All the class volunteers in my kids classrooms work. What exactly is this labor? And are they forced to do it? *tiny violin

I often get called on snow days or other days off school to babysit and its annoying. They aren't offering to pay and I want those days with my kids. If I wanted their kid, I'd invite them. And, when I take their kids, I get stuck paying for the outing so their free babysitting costs me money. Our school doesn't have classroom volunteers. Will not allow it. There is a strong expectation that SAHM's help out with child care and other stuff because they are home and people think we are bored. I have plenty to do.

Whatever happened to it takes a village? Sad selfish existence PP.

A village means mutually helping each other and sadly that's rare. I am at home for my family, not yours. If you want me to help, you need to help me (not that I need help as my husband and I work it out and its a non-issue). It doesn't take a village. They are your kid and you are responsible for them, not me. I don't mind helping out in an emergency or if we were to trade off, but when its one sided, that is called using someone, not a village. The only reason I do take kids like yours is I feel sorry for them that they have crappy parents like you.

I am far from selfish. I have to manage my own family and several extended family members. You have no idea what goes on in some else life and why they aren't working. But, I am not working to be your village so you can make money, while I care for your kids unpaid. How about you watch mine and do the things I need done for free so I can get a paid job.

That’s sad you don’t have a village.

My village is a bunch of working and SAH moms and we all help each other out when we can. No one keeps a tally or anything. We do it because we care about each other and our families.

-SAHM

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh look. Another whiny WOHM.

OP, you can't handle working and parenting then quit.

Oh I can handle it fine. I just can't handle listening to SAHMs who have school aged kids complain they are busy. Especially when it's to get out of helping out on things like school functions or girl scout activities.

There it is!!! You’re mad because the SAHMs aren’t providing as much free labor as you would like them to.

Guess what? Nobody owes you free labor regardless of work status. Grow up OP. Read some threads about how so many people hate school functions and room parents make insane demands for class parties, don’t even get me started on the PTA...

Hahahaha free labor?? You are a free LOADER if your child participates in any school activities, field trips, lunch program, carline, after school enrichment like scouts or sports, if you never help out in any way. All of these activities require volunteers to make it happen. I think perhaps you are the one who needs to grow up for the sake of your children. Sad that your child never has your participation in these things yet benefits from them.

Let’s be clear though - many activities like this are made up by mothers at home. Not all but many. Make work programs are fine but don’t force people with other priorities to participate so your time is validated

I love the mental gymnastics!

OP wants the SAHMs to volunteer for busywork and is mad they said no. Then you guys either freak out calling them feeloaders OR try to reframe it as, actually, it’s the SAHMs who want these school volunteer events to validate their time. No wonder nobody wants to volunteer at your functions... You guys sound insane.

+1

Yes, they are arguing themselves into a pretzel. Stop being so judgmental and hateful.

[Anonymous]

Truth be told, I hate it when anyone complains about being busy. I have met very few (if any) "too busy" people who aren't so busy because they choose to be. WOH or not, you are choosing to put your kids in a different extracurricular everyday while also volunteering and cooking gourmet meals each night and not expecting your DH to help.

I have no problem with anyone filling up their days with whatever (mall walking, treaty negotiations, SW development)...just don't f'ing complain that the life you have chosen to lead is too hard!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Truth be told, I hate it when anyone complains about being busy. I have met very few (if any) "too busy" people who aren't so busy because they choose to be. WOH or not, you are choosing to put your kids in a different extracurricular everyday while also volunteering and cooking gourmet meals each night and not expecting your DH to help.

I have no problem with anyone filling up their days with whatever (mall walking, treaty negotiations, SW development)...just don't f'ing complain that the life you have chosen to lead is too hard!!

Very true.

And along those lines, we shouldn’t complain when someone says no. They are trying not to overcommit.

[Anonymous]

Fine - don’t help out. But then don’t put your kid into activities like scouts or sports that require volunteers to make it happen. Your child should not benefit from these activities if you are a free loader.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Fine - don’t help out. But then don’t put your kid into activities like scouts or sports that require volunteers to make it happen. Your child should not benefit from these activities if you are a free loader.

Stop attacking SAHMs. Grow up and do you, miseryguts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fine - don’t help out. But then don’t put your kid into activities like scouts or sports that require volunteers to make it happen. Your child should not benefit from these activities if you are a free loader.

Stop attacking SAHMs. Grow up and do you, miseryguts.

Start pitching in on activities that your child benefits from, freeloader.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We single mom so it all the time. Every day. It's busy, but it's not hard.

Choices.

Like choosing to say something c unty to another mom?

Choices. Back at you, you snatch.