I'm afraid that my daughter is not very smart and I'm worried about her future job prospects

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, this reminds me so much of my best friend from middle and high school. She certainly seemed smart enough to me, but I’m also 100% sure she didn’t test well. She has severe problems with math and numbers - as a senior she was in Algebra 2, the lowest math track, and even struggled with that - and was medicated for ADHD. I’m glad to say she graduated from high school and went to a smaller private college in the suburbs of a major city. She changed majors there once and graduated in 4.5 years, so not bad at all. Landed a job with the city government, just clerical work but it was stable and paid ok. But she worked hard and was a supervisor within 4 years and is now basically the 2nd in charge in her area, 12 years out from graduation. Being a good employee and working bard are super important factors. I think there’s something out there for your daughter. She might not be a doctor or a college professor, but that’s ok, very few people are!

Such good points. Unlike school (where you are required to take so many different subjects), work is something where you can choose to focus on your strengths. And when you do something over and over, you get good at it. So it's definitely possible to excel in the workplace, even if you did not excel in school.

Yeah, if OP stopped catastrophizing and judging her daughter based on her own standards, then she'd do a little reading a realize it's extremely common for kids with LDs of all sorts (or not even full-on LDs, just different learning styles) to hit their stride once they can chose what to do according to their strengths. It's so common.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To the poster who wrote:

Hi OP - I want to thank you for writing this. My 16yr old DS is similar to your DD. very average IQ, very slow processing. He also has a diagnosis of ADHD. I spend many sleepless nights wondering if he will ever be able to get a job, or even live on his own. I want to add though that I have the tendency to freak out about stuff, and have a very "glass half empty" attitude. DH thinks I'm being totally ridiculous. I am however resigned to the fact that he will likely go to community college first, and perhaps 4 yr after that. More than likely he will go to some type of trade school. He's very charming and handsome, but also socially awkward - which happens a lot with ADHD kids.

No, no, no!!! Please believe me that CC is not the answer. He will get no support as they are not set up that way given the size and open door admissions. You have to be really mature and motivated to make it in a CC. ( I was an adjunct)

A small college ( if ds wants to go.) They have an office of special services , all do, but they will get to know him and they know add issues.

He can get to know his professors in a small school and they will work with him.

You say he’s charming... he can study marketing, real estate is a Major now, business, etc so that he can work in sales, marketing.

Please don’t write him off or compare to all the high flying students around you - I know our neighborhoods of full of them!

He will be okay if he has your “ light “ help now, and then a good small liberal arts school to develop in to the young man he can be.

He was my son a few years ago. Sending good thoughts!!!

?? That PP said "trade school." There are plenty of community colleges with certificate and AA programs in things like HVAC, auto repair, early education, x-ray tech ... Much better to get a specialized program with a career path from an affordable CC, than to squeak by with some kind of humanities major from an open-admissions third tier private college that you pay $75k/year for ...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To the poster who wrote:

Hi OP - I want to thank you for writing this. My 16yr old DS is similar to your DD. very average IQ, very slow processing. He also has a diagnosis of ADHD. I spend many sleepless nights wondering if he will ever be able to get a job, or even live on his own. I want to add though that I have the tendency to freak out about stuff, and have a very "glass half empty" attitude. DH thinks I'm being totally ridiculous. I am however resigned to the fact that he will likely go to community college first, and perhaps 4 yr after that. More than likely he will go to some type of trade school. He's very charming and handsome, but also socially awkward - which happens a lot with ADHD kids.

No, no, no!!! Please believe me that CC is not the answer. He will get no support as they are not set up that way given the size and open door admissions. You have to be really mature and motivated to make it in a CC. ( I was an adjunct)

A small college ( if ds wants to go.) They have an office of special services , all do, but they will get to know him and they know add issues.

He can get to know his professors in a small school and they will work with him.

You say he’s charming... he can study marketing, real estate is a Major now, business, etc so that he can work in sales, marketing.

Please don’t write him off or compare to all the high flying students around you - I know our neighborhoods of full of them!

He will be okay if he has your “ light “ help now, and then a good small liberal arts school to develop in to the young man he can be.

He was my son a few years ago. Sending good thoughts!!!

This is PP who you quoted. Thank you so much for writing this - it means more to me than you can ever imagine. I truly thought CC/trade school was his only option, which breaks my heart because he speaks almost daily about "when he goes to college", as in a 4-yr school. I haven't had the heart to tell him "sorry buddy, looks like you're headed to community college". It would literally smash he dreams. I'm going to research schools with an open admission policy right now - thank you!!

PP I get what you're saying, but third-tier private liberal arts colleges are notoriously expensive and could land you in major debt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To the poster who wrote:

Hi OP - I want to thank you for writing this. My 16yr old DS is similar to your DD. very average IQ, very slow processing. He also has a diagnosis of ADHD. I spend many sleepless nights wondering if he will ever be able to get a job, or even live on his own. I want to add though that I have the tendency to freak out about stuff, and have a very "glass half empty" attitude. DH thinks I'm being totally ridiculous. I am however resigned to the fact that he will likely go to community college first, and perhaps 4 yr after that. More than likely he will go to some type of trade school. He's very charming and handsome, but also socially awkward - which happens a lot with ADHD kids.

No, no, no!!! Please believe me that CC is not the answer. He will get no support as they are not set up that way given the size and open door admissions. You have to be really mature and motivated to make it in a CC. ( I was an adjunct)

A small college ( if ds wants to go.) They have an office of special services , all do, but they will get to know him and they know add issues.

He can get to know his professors in a small school and they will work with him.

You say he’s charming... he can study marketing, real estate is a Major now, business, etc so that he can work in sales, marketing.

Please don’t write him off or compare to all the high flying students around you - I know our neighborhoods of full of them!

He will be okay if he has your “ light “ help now, and then a good small liberal arts school to develop in to the young man he can be.

He was my son a few years ago. Sending good thoughts!!!

This is PP who you quoted. Thank you so much for writing this - it means more to me than you can ever imagine. I truly thought CC/trade school was his only option, which breaks my heart because he speaks almost daily about "when he goes to college", as in a 4-yr school. I haven't had the heart to tell him "sorry buddy, looks like you're headed to community college". It would literally smash he dreams. I'm going to research schools with an open admission policy right now - thank you!!

They won't say they are open admission but they are if you are a c high school student. Mt. Saint Mary and Marymount are two in the area. To the poster that said they are expensive - they really aren't that much more expensive than 1st teir public schools (if you get in as a freshment, there are big scolarships for most students). But I will also say that supporting a learning disabled child is more expensive. We go to public middle school but pay 8,000 a year for private tutors for reading since my daughter has dsylexia. And while it is not teh cheapest route, it is probably less expensive in the long run than flunking out of CC and not getting a degree. A caveat to that would be the trade school route or a trade focused AA degree from a community college - that would be cheaper, but it would also depends on the child's interest. But I think college is an social and cultural and intellectural experience worth having beyond vocational potentional.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Community college is not the best option for someone who needs support and accommodations. It is cheaper but not easier than a 4 year college and the class sizes are big some of the teachers not as good. The better option is a second or third tier private with small classes and lots of supports. Those are basically open admissions and some aren't that much more expensive than in-state colleges. You might look at regional campuses of in-state schools or non-flagship in-state schools, but I worry about class size.

Community college offers AA degrees and technical certificates that are related to a specific job function and that is more valuable for some students than going to a 4 yr college and majoring in something abstract. Some students need very concrete learning that leads to a concrete function and skill.

[Anonymous]

Teach her the importance of commitment and hard work. Teach her to always "do the work," and that nothing is "beneath" her. This is really important for ALL young people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Team OP here.
Why can people on this board engage in endless discussions about ivies etc but can’t entertain an honest question from a concerned parent of an average kid?? I think I can imagine what you are describing ... might she be a good librarian? Op there is every reason to believe your kid will be fine when you consider all the paths to success but I think it’s also normal to worry.

You need a master’s degree in library science and it’s actually quite competitive to get a job as a librarian. Demand greatly outstrips supply of jobs.

You’re probably thinking of a librarian aid which is a minimum wage job.

[Anonymous]

Sonographer is the career path I've been recommending to people who want a fairly fast certification, high demand field, decent salary. However, at least in my state most of the CC career paths that lead to a marketable skill have years-long waiting lists. I think OP's daughter is much to young to know if a vocational path would be a good fit. I do think early work experience will be really valuable for her to learn solid soft skills and her strengths and weaknesses.

OP, it seems like you must have covered this, but is she receiving any intervention or supports now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will flat out admit it. I don't think my daughter is particularly bright. She is 12 years old and has taken the WISC IV that showed her IQ as being a 110, but with an extremely low processing speed. I realize that her iq definitely puts her well in the average range, but she is so impacted by her low processing speed that for all practical purposes she doesn't come across as smart in many areas. Her teachers always have concerns about her. She has to study very hard to retain anything, and she's very easily distracted and only manages to get B's because we sit down with her to study every night. But this can't go on forever and I have a hard time seeing how she can get through college. However, what worries me even more than college is if she will be able to remain employed. To be completely honest, I just can't imagine her being very good at any job. This is extremely painful for me to admit to myself, much less post. But I am absolutely worried to death about her future, and am just trying to envision what kind of job a person like her could possibly do.

Huh? I've worked with some major idiots who were pay grades above where you would think they could be. Work on her social skills, ability to present herself. She'll be fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will flat out admit it. I don't think my daughter is particularly bright. She is 12 years old and has taken the WISC IV that showed her IQ as being a 110, but with an extremely low processing speed. I realize that her iq definitely puts her well in the average range, but she is so impacted by her low processing speed that for all practical purposes she doesn't come across as smart in many areas. Her teachers always have concerns about her. She has to study very hard to retain anything, and she's very easily distracted and only manages to get B's because we sit down with her to study every night. But this can't go on forever and I have a hard time seeing how she can get through college. However, what worries me even more than college is if she will be able to remain employed. To be completely honest, I just can't imagine her being very good at any job. This is extremely painful for me to admit to myself, much less post. But I am absolutely worried to death about her future, and am just trying to envision what kind of job a person like her could possibly do.

You can always prepare her for a career as a reporter or a politician.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To the poster who wrote:

Hi OP - I want to thank you for writing this. My 16yr old DS is similar to your DD. very average IQ, very slow processing. He also has a diagnosis of ADHD. I spend many sleepless nights wondering if he will ever be able to get a job, or even live on his own. I want to add though that I have the tendency to freak out about stuff, and have a very "glass half empty" attitude. DH thinks I'm being totally ridiculous. I am however resigned to the fact that he will likely go to community college first, and perhaps 4 yr after that. More than likely he will go to some type of trade school. He's very charming and handsome, but also socially awkward - which happens a lot with ADHD kids.

No, no, no!!! Please believe me that CC is not the answer. He will get no support as they are not set up that way given the size and open door admissions. You have to be really mature and motivated to make it in a CC. ( I was an adjunct)

A small college ( if ds wants to go.) They have an office of special services , all do, but they will get to know him and they know add issues.

He can get to know his professors in a small school and they will work with him.

You say he’s charming... he can study marketing, real estate is a Major now, business, etc so that he can work in sales, marketing.

Please don’t write him off or compare to all the high flying students around you - I know our neighborhoods of full of them!

He will be okay if he has your “ light “ help now, and then a good small liberal arts school to develop in to the young man he can be.

He was my son a few years ago. Sending good thoughts!!!

This is PP who you quoted. Thank you so much for writing this - it means more to me than you can ever imagine. I truly thought CC/trade school was his only option, which breaks my heart because he speaks almost daily about "when he goes to college", as in a 4-yr school. I haven't had the heart to tell him "sorry buddy, looks like you're headed to community college". It would literally smash he dreams. I'm going to research schools with an open admission policy right now - thank you!!

They won't say they are open admission but they are if you are a c high school student. Mt. Saint Mary and Marymount are two in the area. To the poster that said they are expensive - they really aren't that much more expensive than 1st teir public schools (if you get in as a freshment, there are big scolarships for most students). But I will also say that supporting a learning disabled child is more expensive. We go to public middle school but pay 8,000 a year for private tutors for reading since my daughter has dsylexia. And while it is not teh cheapest route, it is probably less expensive in the long run than flunking out of CC and not getting a degree. A caveat to that would be the trade school route or a trade focused AA degree from a community college - that would be cheaper, but it would also depends on the child's interest. But I think college is an social and cultural and intellectural experience worth having beyond vocational potentional.

No, small private colleges are going to cost at least $20k/more than public. I'd much rather have my child focus on a trade at at CC, and save the $100,000 for a downpayment on a condo for him or her.

[Anonymous]

I was never a great student (some Cs, mostly Bs, and some As) and somehow with a ACT of 24, I made it to a state school and graduated with an accounting degree. I had a difficult time focusing as well. What set me apart was my hard work, persistence, and grit. While others were working 40 hour weeks, I would often put in 60 and sometimes up to 80 hr. This extra time paid off and honed my business skills to the point where I surpassed co-workers and more complex work could be performed with mental 'muscle memory'. I'm nearly 50 and manage over 30 staff and make several hundred thousand a year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Team OP here.
Why can people on this board engage in endless discussions about ivies etc but can’t entertain an honest question from a concerned parent of an average kid?? I think I can imagine what you are describing ... might she be a good librarian? Op there is every reason to believe your kid will be fine when you consider all the paths to success but I think it’s also normal to worry.

You need a master’s degree in library science and it’s actually quite competitive to get a job as a librarian. Demand greatly outstrips supply of jobs.

You’re probably thinking of a librarian aid which is a minimum wage job.

No I was thinking of librarian which would seem to suit someone with low processing speed. Slow and steady.

[Anonymous]

OP, I would suggest that you forget about test results and that you focus on your daughter's strengths. You are doing her a disservice by obsessing about this. Teach her that there is no limit to what she can achieve. Do not clip her wings.

[Anonymous]

Does she have a good personality? Is she outgoing and friendly? That will go a long long way.