6 dates in and we're still just talking. Huh??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP back. We talked. I think we're done.

He called and chatted about his day for about 10 minutes, describes how busy he's going to be these next few weeks. I'm thinking "ok dude, just lower the boom so we can all move on." He doesn't. Keeps chatting about this or that, asking about DD's day, etc. Finally I say (almost out of sheer exasperation) "Did you just call to catch up? Or was there something specific you wanted to talk about?" He says, "like what?". Lol.

So I just took the bull by the horns: "We had a somewhat confusing interaction this weekend. Seems it's a little unclear about where we stand." He says, "sure ok, we can talk about that". And basically reiterated how important friendship is to him, how he needs to build that first, etc. I said I agree! Friendship gets totally overlooked as a priority in a relationship and if you get hot & heavy too fast, it's hard to solve problems later. I said I'm glad you feel that way. But, I said, I'm not a game player, never have been. And I am interested in a romantic partner at some point, and it's not clear to me that you are. You're really flirty with me over text and in person, but when it comes to physicality it seems you have two feet on the break. He says "what have I suggested I want via my texts?". I said, "that you want to be more than my friend." He had...no real response for that. I said "look, I like you. I think I've made that clear. Sounds like you have a busy couple of weeks. Think it over and maybe we'll connect in the future; best of luck."

So yeah, I think we're done here. In my experience, it's just not this complicated early on, and I don't need to talk someone into kissing me for Pete's sake. I'm not asking the guy for sex or a ring or to meet his mother....but if all he wants is a dinner companion...well, I'd like more. Like a kiss, some passion, recognition of mutual desire. I mean come on, we're 40-something and 50-something. We're not dead yet. I think that's reasonable.

tldr: Pretty sure he just wants a friend. That's OK. I need more. I texted gym guy. He's going to come inspect my plumbing this week.

Are you attractive? Are you hot? Overweight? How did you contribute to this debacle?

[Anonymous]

She seems hot. I'd do her, but would request she wear her lab coat with nothing under neath. What say you, OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She seems hot. I'd do her, but would request she wear her lab coat with nothing under neath. What say you, OP?

That would be amazing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The attitude and writing style of the original OP and the 19:21 OP is so different that it's either a troll from beginning to end or a hijack.

OP back; neither a man, nor a troll, nor a hijacker. What an odd set of assertions. Anyway we’ll see how gym guy does; still bummed that military guy couldn’t keep us moving forward.

so this is where you lost me. In your first post, you say you're pretty traditional and that you don't rush into having sex with someone. Now. you text the gym guy who just flirted with you and basically are DTF. Quite a contradiction - nothing wrong with that at all. But things just don't add up here.

Gym guy isn’t relationship material. Told me as much last summer and from what I gather, hasn’t changed. He’s offering a physical relationship only; not one that could lead to a LTR. I miss physical interaction so I may take him up on it, but it’s not my first choice.

Go for it OP - before, during and after my divorce I went through a dry spell and finally decided I really needed to get laid. Same story as you, a guy at my gym was always hanging around admiring himself and others so I said let's do drinks. He was not much more than a giant piece of meat but he definitely ended my drought. We had a few fun sessions until my needs were taken care of. It wasn't my proudest moment but darn it felt good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She seems hot. I'd do her, but would request she wear her lab coat with nothing under neath. What say you, OP?

That would be amazing.

Awesome. Lets make it happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The attitude and writing style of the original OP and the 19:21 OP is so different that it's either a troll from beginning to end or a hijack.

OP back; neither a man, nor a troll, nor a hijacker. What an odd set of assertions. Anyway we’ll see how gym guy does; still bummed that military guy couldn’t keep us moving forward.

so this is where you lost me. In your first post, you say you're pretty traditional and that you don't rush into having sex with someone. Now. you text the gym guy who just flirted with you and basically are DTF. Quite a contradiction - nothing wrong with that at all. But things just don't add up here.

Gym guy isn’t relationship material. Told me as much last summer and from what I gather, hasn’t changed. He’s offering a physical relationship only; not one that could lead to a LTR. I miss physical interaction so I may take him up on it, but it’s not my first choice.

You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders so this shouldn't be an issue but don't mix up the (hopefully) good feelings from sex with anything more than that. In my post-divorce dating run, thought I had this 'relationship' with an absolute knock out of a woman - that we just wanted each other to meet our physical needs. Ended up that she wanted more from me but had a difficult time accepting that as a single dad, my daughter was always the #1, 2 and 3 priority in my life. The sex was great but the way I was forced to end it left a bitter memory of her.

Hope it works out on your terms and for your benefit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The attitude and writing style of the original OP and the 19:21 OP is so different that it's either a troll from beginning to end or a hijack.

OP back; neither a man, nor a troll, nor a hijacker. What an odd set of assertions. Anyway we’ll see how gym guy does; still bummed that military guy couldn’t keep us moving forward.

so this is where you lost me. In your first post, you say you're pretty traditional and that you don't rush into having sex with someone. Now. you text the gym guy who just flirted with you and basically are DTF. Quite a contradiction - nothing wrong with that at all. But things just don't add up here.

Gym guy isn’t relationship material. Told me as much last summer and from what I gather, hasn’t changed. He’s offering a physical relationship only; not one that could lead to a LTR. I miss physical interaction so I may take him up on it, but it’s not my first choice.

Go for it OP - before, during and after my divorce I went through a dry spell and finally decided I really needed to get laid. Same story as you, a guy at my gym was always hanging around admiring himself and others so I said let's do drinks. He was not much more than a giant piece of meat but he definitely ended my drought. We had a few fun sessions until my needs were taken care of. It wasn't my proudest moment but darn it felt good.

LOL! I did this once too which was so out of form for me as people see me as being very sweet and proper, which I am. I was 42, divorced with two kids and not dating and my libido went into high gear. I was at my college reunion and met a guy in the class ten years behind mine who was staying in the same dorm that weekend. After the big dinner I ran into him at the bar and two drinks later I invited him back to my room. It was like an out of body experience - who is this girl! He wasn't a giant piece of meat, more like the energizer bunny which was what I needed.