6 dates in and we're still just talking. Huh??

[Anonymous]

OP back. Re: the religious issue, he is, but not overly so (it doesn't seem). He goes to church on Sunday but so do we.

Re: exclusivity, yes. For me, sex = exclusivity. I would totally bring this up if we were getting somewhere, but he hasn't even put his hands on me. Seems premature to lay out my relationship terms without a hot makeup session or two.

As to the why of all this? Don't know. But there's something here. I too am guessing ED. But geez, there's drugs for that. I could even prescribe them.

Kidding! (sort of)

[Anonymous]

You have a 6 year old

[Anonymous]

This isn’t normal behavior for a man. I’d be wary...

[Anonymous]

He's struggling. Likes you. He would probably would like a relationship that *could* lead somewhere. You have a 6 year old. He doesn't want to be a father to a six year old.

[Anonymous]

Guy here at age 31. I'm sure he has mess if it's ED. I can't see a guy going a decade or more with ED and not be in meds. He probably isn't into you. I would have been all over you at date 3.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's struggling. Likes you. He would probably would like a relationship that *could* lead somewhere. You have a 6 year old. He doesn't want to be a father to a six year old.

Then why spend time with me? I'm very straightforward about my situation; how much I love my daughter, that we lead a stable, drama-free, fun life. I want another adult in her life but I don't need someone to save either of us. Now some men don't want to be around smaller children. Understandable; but again, then why date me?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guy here at age 31. I'm sure he has mess if it's ED. I can't see a guy going a decade or more with ED and not be in meds. He probably isn't into you. I would have been all over you at date 3.

Geez. I may ask you to PM me. After 5 years off the dating market (and turning 40) my libido suddenly went nuclear.

I realize I may come across as too focused on the physical component of all of this. And it does bother me. What's worse however is the feeling that there's something way off here and he's sort of...gas lighting me? To have someone say "let's take it slow" when we're basically moving at a snail's pace means something is off. At this point in my life I've learned that when you think there's a red flag, there probably is (thank you Gavin De Becker .

Anyway I'm sad! He's cool and smart and kind. Seems like he loves and is invested in his children. Super impressive career and isn't intimidated by mine. We could have some serious fun together, and maybe something really special.

Or...not. Seems like it may be not. Sigh. Back to the drawing board.

[Anonymous]

Much too specific information about this man, and now everyone is speculating if he has an STD, sexual issues, etc. Shameful.

[Anonymous]

This is the BEST it will ever get with this guy. Think about if that's what you want. If not, ghost him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At his age it could be all kinds of things, the top being erectile dysfunction. Or maybe just low testosterone. Be prepared for either if you decide to move forward. As much as you apparently like him I think I would proceed with caution until you figure out what the issue is.

Yes!

This is exactly along the lines of my first thought as well - along with the possible STD condition another poster mentioned. Something else is going on besides simply needing to take time to "let his guard down."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guy here at age 31. I'm sure he has mess if it's ED. I can't see a guy going a decade or more with ED and not be in meds. He probably isn't into you. I would have been all over you at date 3.

Geez. I may ask you to PM me. After 5 years off the dating market (and turning 40) my libido suddenly went nuclear.

I realize I may come across as too focused on the physical component of all of this. And it does bother me. What's worse however is the feeling that there's something way off here and he's sort of...gas lighting me? To have someone say "let's take it slow" when we're basically moving at a snail's pace means something is off. At this point in my life I've learned that when you think there's a red flag, there probably is (thank you Gavin De Becker .

Anyway I'm sad! He's cool and smart and kind. Seems like he loves and is invested in his children. Super impressive career and isn't intimidated by mine. We could have some serious fun together, and maybe something really special.

Or...not. Seems like it may be not. Sigh. Back to the drawing board.

I wish PM was an option.

I was going to suggest that your career was the issue, but it appears he too holds an impressive career....so, darn.

Play the field. Give him time. Enjoy his company, and wait to see what happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is the BEST it will ever get with this guy. Think about if that's what you want. If not, ghost him.

OP here; I don't ghost people. It's weak. If anything I'll just be honest and explain that I think he's awesome but we clearly want different things and wish him well.

As for outing him on DCUM, come on. You can't throw a rock in DC w/o hitting a 50 yo military guy. As a physician I take privacy seriously (and really like this person. Would never jeopardize his identity).

[Anonymous]

I agree, that is really strange behavior for a man. I
Would wait for the next date and if it goes well, make the move and give him a real kiss. You will see if he is a passionate man or not. I’m betting not

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guy here at age 31. I'm sure he has mess if it's ED. I can't see a guy going a decade or more with ED and not be in meds. He probably isn't into you. I would have been all over you at date 3.

Geez. I may ask you to PM me. After 5 years off the dating market (and turning 40) my libido suddenly went nuclear.

I realize I may come across as too focused on the physical component of all of this. And it does bother me. What's worse however is the feeling that there's something way off here and he's sort of...gas lighting me? To have someone say "let's take it slow" when we're basically moving at a snail's pace means something is off. At this point in my life I've learned that when you think there's a red flag, there probably is (thank you Gavin De Becker .

Anyway I'm sad! He's cool and smart and kind. Seems like he loves and is invested in his children. Super impressive career and isn't intimidated by mine. We could have some serious fun together, and maybe something really special.

Or...not. Seems like it may be not. Sigh. Back to the drawing board.

So hot.

Date 2, here.

[Anonymous]

Maybe he wants to be nominated some day for the Supreme Court?