I wish I had never become a parent

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with numerous PPs that have pointed out that you are shooting down any constructive posts so not sure what the point of your continuing angry posts are. OP, does the venting make you feel better? It doesn't seem to, so what's the point?

And the attitude IS partially how to fix it. Facts will be whatever they will be. How you approach them makes all the difference. Being angry at life for not being the way it is, being angry at your child for something he can't help, and being angry at seemingly everything isn't fixing your issues.

Yes, the venting makes me feel better. The sanctimony doesn't. I actually feel better now than I did this morning. I have sketched out a plan and how to approach a discussion with my husband. And no, I have actually responded to many constructive posts - i.e. the ones that don't suggest I quit my job, force DH to give up his, or suggest the blindingly obvious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:" I will, however, not let my child use his anxiety and ADHD as an excuse or a crutch (I have NEVER used my anxiety and depression as an excuse and I have a good education and career as a result)."

Here you are again op. What the hell does this mean? You had me with your kinder more reasonable responses and hear you are again trying to deny that your child has a disability that he does not control. I've heard two other parents say this crap and I know they are clueless about their dc's disabilities.

Do you blame your child for his disabilities? Just because you were raised a certain way and had certain characteristics does not mean it will work for your child or that your child will be this way. No amount of you dictating how things will be, will make things be.

Please look up Rick Lavoie and read one of his books. He not some mollycoddler. He ran a well respected school for kids with learning disabilities and understands so much of what you are going through.

This one helped me tremendously.
Last One Picked ... First One Picked On
Learning Disabilities and Social Skills with Richard Lavoie

I think you are reading your own bias into what I said. I don't blame him. But that doesn't mean I have to let him descend into it either, spending all day in front of a TV and refusing to engage socially with anyone other than his parents. Is it your contention that that would be a super healthy thing to do? Or are you just here to pounce at every opportunity to twist my words?

Not PP but it's telling that you, yourself, do not have a psychiatrist for your anxiety and depression. So the Lexapro rx is written by your internist/gyno? where you moved. Your child with anxiety + ADHD is finding his medication for his new diagnosis from a pediatrician. You can't drag him out into the sunshine until the anxiety is under control - forcing him to do so is just cruel.

Did you move out of the DC area bc the preschool your child attended flagged issues? but you waited until recently when the shi$ hit the fan after you moved to maybe look into it. FYI, kids are diagnosed with ADHD at 4 especially when there are other issues like anxiety.

But first like on an airplane, you need to help yourself first before you can help your child. Find yourself a psychiatrist and psychologist for your anxiety and depression. It wouldn't surprise me if your DH find you just as hard if not harder to ive with than your SN child.

Yes once again you know everything. I am not responding to you b/c you are being a bitch and looking for a fight. Go away.

Sounds like I hit a nerve.

Yes. My I don't like sanctimonious and presumptuous people nerve.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you tried having your son work with a behavior therapist? This has helped my son so much with anxiety over new people, new places, the unexpected.

We use a behavior chart daily. So my son knows his schedule for the day and he knows the behavior that is expected of him and what he is working towards. Ex: today my son is working towards a trip to the toy store (bigger than his usual goal b/c this is the first week of camp and it has been ROUGH). Everything is on one piece of paper, the size of an index card, with his schedule laid out and at the bottom is whatever he is working towards. This has helped us tremendously.

I hope things get better for your family!

Hi, yes. The therapist we are seeing is a psychologist and behavior therapist and just recommended PCIT which she says has been successful with ADHD kids. And she wants to implement a behavior modification plan. We just haven't been working with her long enough to get that implemented yet. And I do agree with other posters who have said that until we get the meds sorted out it probably won't be that effective anyway.

It sounds like you guys have a good plan. I will be honest and I think the time period when we knew there was therapy but it took a few months to get everything established was some of the hardest times.. For some reason, knowing that something could help but not know what or how to implement it, made everything seem so much worse. Hang in there!!

Thanks. I think it would have been really helpful if the MDs had warned us how dramatic some of the side effects of this medication could potentially be. I had read about them, but didn't know how extreme they would be. I think I would have structured this whole summer completely differently. Now I am scrambling to get it figured out.

[Anonymous]

People giving you advice bc they have BTDT are not being sanctimonious. You have trouble listening to advice and not just to other SN parents on this board.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand you, OP. You complain about summer camp costing more than $200/week yet you throw out that you make $500K??? And you send your kid to private school? And you have a helpful DH???

You really need your attitude and meds possibly adjusted bc you are not seeing any good when it seems to me, you have a lot to be thankful for. More than most people have. Focus on that!

And, you should consider taking several days away if you're getting to the point of getting physically violent with your special needs child. Seriously.

I was with you until all these combative posts you keep throwing out. You need way more help than people on this board can offer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People giving you advice bc they have BTDT are not being sanctimonious. You have trouble listening to advice and not just to other SN parents on this board.

This quote is advice? Huh. Sounds like santimony and presumption to me.

Did you move out of the DC area bc the preschool your child attended flagged issues? but you waited until recently when the shi$ hit the fan after you moved to maybe look into it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand you, OP. You complain about summer camp costing more than $200/week yet you throw out that you make $500K??? And you send your kid to private school? And you have a helpful DH???

You really need your attitude and meds possibly adjusted bc you are not seeing any good when it seems to me, you have a lot to be thankful for. More than most people have. Focus on that!

And, you should consider taking several days away if you're getting to the point of getting physically violent with your special needs child. Seriously.

I was with you until all these combative posts you keep throwing out. You need way more help than people on this board can offer.

Seriously. READ. I said I DO NOT make $500K. Far from it. Try about 35% of that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People giving you advice bc they have BTDT are not being sanctimonious. You have trouble listening to advice and not just to other SN parents on this board.

This quote is advice? Huh. Sounds like santimony and presumption to me.

Did you move out of the DC area bc the preschool your child attended flagged issues? but you waited until recently when the shi$ hit the fan after you moved to maybe look into it.

Right - how presumptuous, bc your child did not have any issues before two months ago when he was diagnosed with ADHD and anxiety.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People giving you advice bc they have BTDT are not being sanctimonious. You have trouble listening to advice and not just to other SN parents on this board.

This quote is advice? Huh. Sounds like santimony and presumption to me.

Did you move out of the DC area bc the preschool your child attended flagged issues? but you waited until recently when the shi$ hit the fan after you moved to maybe look into it.

Right - how presumptuous, bc your child did not have any issues before two months ago when he was diagnosed with ADHD and anxiety.

No, what's presumptuous is that we didn't do anything about it between today and when we moved two years ago. It's rude. And it's wrong. Yes, posts like this are going to provoke an unkind response from me. Don't like it? Don't assume things that aren't true, basically picking a fight, and then get all bitchy when I call you on it. IF you want to ask me, that's fine. If you want to jump up on your high horse and get all superior and act like you know how I've conducted my life, just go away. Because you will be wrong a good percentage of the time. Mean girl.

[Anonymous]

You are being kind of an asshole OP. You've been an ass to people on this board most of the day.. if the advice didn't fit what you exactly wanted. Just chill. Unplug.

I'm afraid for you. I'm afraid for your child. I feel like you need to get a sitter and go talk to someone - in real life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand you, OP. You complain about summer camp costing more than $200/week yet you throw out that you make $500K??? And you send your kid to private school? And you have a helpful DH???

You really need your attitude and meds possibly adjusted bc you are not seeing any good when it seems to me, you have a lot to be thankful for. More than most people have. Focus on that!

And, you should consider taking several days away if you're getting to the point of getting physically violent with your special needs child. Seriously.

I was with you until all these combative posts you keep throwing out. You need way more help than people on this board can offer.

This. I'm the poster with an ADHD/anxiety ridden child commuting 45 minutes each way and we have a nanny for the summer and make $150k combined. I really don't understand OP's issues at all. I hardly think it's that taxing having an ADHD/anxious child when others have children who can't even move or speak. Yes, I wish my child were easier, but it's still a lot of fun being a parent. Mostly we worry about money. I can't imagine having a worry at all with $500k per year especially outside the DC, NYC, Boston, or San Fran area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with numerous PPs that have pointed out that you are shooting down any constructive posts so not sure what the point of your continuing angry posts are. OP, does the venting make you feel better? It doesn't seem to, so what's the point?

And the attitude IS partially how to fix it. Facts will be whatever they will be. How you approach them makes all the difference. Being angry at life for not being the way it is, being angry at your child for something he can't help, and being angry at seemingly everything isn't fixing your issues.

Yes, the venting makes me feel better. The sanctimony doesn't. I actually feel better now than I did this morning. I have sketched out a plan and how to approach a discussion with my husband. And no, I have actually responded to many constructive posts - i.e. the ones that don't suggest I quit my job, force DH to give up his, or suggest the blindingly obvious.

I don't understand why this is forcing him to do something, shouldn't he want to make the best choice for his son and family? Isn't that what fathers do? Sacrifice? This would solve so many of your complaints and alleviate so much of your stress. Not to mention be better for your son, which when you think about it, should be the one everyone is putting first here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are being kind of an asshole OP. You've been an ass to people on this board most of the day.. if the advice didn't fit what you exactly wanted. Just chill. Unplug.

I'm afraid for you. I'm afraid for your child. I feel like you need to get a sitter and go talk to someone - in real life.

I want to know what type of job she works where she can be so active on two different posts and all pissed off all day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are being kind of an asshole OP. You've been an ass to people on this board most of the day.. if the advice didn't fit what you exactly wanted. Just chill. Unplug.

I'm afraid for you. I'm afraid for your child. I feel like you need to get a sitter and go talk to someone - in real life.

I want to know what type of job she works where she can be so active on two different posts and all pissed off all day.

Which now makes me think she's trolling special needs, which is horrible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand you, OP. You complain about summer camp costing more than $200/week yet you throw out that you make $500K??? And you send your kid to private school? And you have a helpful DH???

You really need your attitude and meds possibly adjusted bc you are not seeing any good when it seems to me, you have a lot to be thankful for. More than most people have. Focus on that!

And, you should consider taking several days away if you're getting to the point of getting physically violent with your special needs child. Seriously.

I was with you until all these combative posts you keep throwing out. You need way more help than people on this board can offer.

This. I'm the poster with an ADHD/anxiety ridden child commuting 45 minutes each way and we have a nanny for the summer and make $150k combined. I really don't understand OP's issues at all. I hardly think it's that taxing having an ADHD/anxious child when others have children who can't even move or speak. Yes, I wish my child were easier, but it's still a lot of fun being a parent. Mostly we worry about money. I can't imagine having a worry at all with $500k per year especially outside the DC, NYC, Boston, or San Fran area.

I DO NOT MAKE $500K. Seriously. I said I have risen to a point in my career where I can carve out some flexibility but that I DO NOT make $500K per year. Far from it. I make the SAME AMOUNT AS YOU. Really folks. Read accurately before you pile on.