Trying to get a Harvard husband in Boston
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Anonymous
Send OP your number. If you two don't make a love connection--there are always brothers, cousins... Maybe throw in a sister and OP can go lesbian to grab that golden Harvard ring! |
Anonymous
| How about a college professor who is not a Harvard grad. I know someone who is a leading child psychiatrist, well published, wentbto two state schools and is on the faculty of the Harvard Medical School. |
Anonymous
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Dated a lot of Ivy guys in my day (it's all very incestuous)... truly over-rated. Married a state school graduate that is much smarter, now more successful than the others, and down to earth.
I'll agree with a PP that the guys you are chasing, OP, really do want the whole package. At the time, I was attending an ivy, previously had worked as a model/tv actress so I was attractive and fit, popular, and grad school was down the line. My friends that did NOT have the full package never got dates. None of our guy friends ever dated "locals" either. Maybe students at other schools. |
Anonymous
| I just opened this thread for the first time today and kind of skimmed through it. Just want to say that I'm actually surprised - in a good way- by the actual advice. Like OP said, there are people on here asking advice on cheating and fucking animals, so why can't she ask about dating a Harvard grad, right??? Lol. |
Anonymous
| Navl aviators are in Pensacola, Point MagooN Woodby Island... lots of places. I married an aviator but he is so much more than that! |
Anonymous
Huh? B.U. and B.C. law school students couldn't even get summer clerkships in the top law firms in Boston. The one gal that did in my very top tier law firm didn't get an offer. |
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They tend to be sort of insufferable, though.
Anonymous
nobody but op cares |
Anonymous
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What's more important to you? Money or status?
If it's money, you may have to broaden your horizons. I have three family friends who are insanely wealthy. And...they never went to college. One is an hispanic guy with two gold teeth who lived in the states illegally for 25 years and built and sold a fertilizer business to Monsanto. Then he sorted out his status issues. The other two guys are in constructions. Both are Italian and act like typical Jersey guys, but they have built two massive construction and development firms. If status is your goal, then good luck to you. |
Anonymous
| Yeah, OP, would you consider any of the men on "Duck Dynasty?" They're all multi-millionaires! Oh, and most wentbto some small unknown Christian college. |
Anonymous
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But you are talking about a husband, which has much more serous consequences than being "absurd" about say music or food someone likes. I advise that you snap out of this ASAP. Finding a good man to marry is hard enough without imposing arbitrary limits. Btw, I have a Harvard degree, DH doesn't. We are in our 40s and nobody cares who went to what school. That's important only for early twenties crowd. You need to grow out of it, lest you end without any husband at all.
Bingo. I'm 36, and most people don't care about who went where. And my experience is that the people who do still care in their 30s and beyond are vapid and superficial and make for horrible company. And are probably losers who haven't done anything since going to Harvard. Have an acquaintance who wnt to an Ivy but has been nothing but a SAHM but lords it over everyone how she wet to an Ivy! The sahm may just be insecure, but in terms of men you are spot on. Ditto for Rhodes scholars and those who clerked for important judges/justices - IMO it is only those who peaked early that ask about colleges etc and brag to compensate for where they have ended up in life, or the inherently obnoxious country club crowd. I would be searching for someone who is already employed at a white shoe law firm or investment bank (the bankers have more time and money at least at first), not a student. A Harvard degree means nothing unless you have done well enough there to get to somewhere else, and starting a relationship with a man in law school or a young associate at a firm may be detrimental to his future. Business school is probably different because in order to gain admission most people must have work experience so the men tend to be older and have already proven their merit in some arena. In terms of law, it ultimately is the firm that matters not the school. At my firm (top ten), the issue of where associates and partners went to school is almost taboo. No one has their diplomas or Order of the Coif framed on the walls of their offices, and the topic never comes up unless two people were classmates, friends from Law Review or something, and when associates are sent to their alma maters to recruit. What matters is what year you are in terms of partnership track and just in general what you have accomplished as a lawyer. That is part of our firm's culture and something I really respect a great deal. It is one of the reasons I chose my firm. Furthermore, being good at law school does not necessarily mean you will make a great lawyer - there are plenty from Harvard and Yale who wash out early on, and if you look at where our partners matriculated and where they got their JDs it is honestly quite varied. In this economy merit matters. And the hours for associates and even partners are intense. The only reason my relationship survived law school was because it was long distance and dh was getting an advanced degree in another field but under similar pressure. You are also still quite young. We did not marry until early thirties, and by that time our relationship was solid enough to survive 60-70 hour work weeks. I would say that any man over 40 who is not/has never been married probably has issues, but we know lots of friends from our Ivy who cohabitated for years before marrying and others who did not find their mates until their late thirties (mostly men who then married younger women, including my brother). It seems your Harvard obsession is not a proxy for something else and i do find that quite peculiar (Yale is considered a better law school, for example). i also agree with others that Harvard men will sense your desire and will be put off by it, because even if it is not about money or social climbing that is what it will look like to them. That is certainly what it sounded like to me from your initial post. Happy hunting nonetheless! |
Anonymous
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I'm a Harvard Law grad (woman) who married a Harvard Law grad. We've just celebrated our 15 year anniversary, and have two kids. We weren't dating while we were at HLS.
I didn't go there looking for a guy--as previous posters have said, HLS folks are very driven and career oriented.) Most HLS folks, while in school, were not thinking of marriage. No one I knew was thinking of marriage, although there were folks who were hooking up, and other folks who were falling in love. Marriage just seemed like something far off; emphasis was on the upcoming career. Marriages happened after law school. I went to quite a few weddings a few years after graduation and they were equally split between HLS/HLS and HLS/other. I think the best outcome is when you are also from Harvard (getting there with no connections, just hard work, is possible). Then you are on equal footing--what I mean is, then *he sees you* as an equal. The other way can get very old after a while. Most HLS guys are quite impressed with themselves, and the popular culture that worships Harvard just plays into it. The students used to joke that there was something called "The H Bomb." Harvard guys would "drop it" on girls they were trying to impress (sleep with). Good luck! It worked out for me, for sure. But again, we see each other as equals (and that footing has been maintained even though I ended up a SAHM and he ended up being more successful than either of us anticipated). With the law school guys, please remember they are a bunch of smart guys who are trained to argue, and have been rewarded for being argumentative--so you have to pick through them carefully or you will have a real jerk on your hands! |
Anonymous
Either you are much older or you do NOT live in the northeast. Tons of successful, attractive men (and to a lesser extent women) in that age group that are unmarried. |
Anonymous
What does she look like? Would she date a cornell grad? |
Anonymous
Um...how do you know how your brother is as a "lover"? |
Anonymous
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OP here. I wanted to update this thread to talk a little about me.
I think I'm a considerably happier person than I was a few months ago. I've had some help working through my insecurities (they're still there though - they have deep roots, but at least I'm in the process of mastering them) and just gaining insight into life and things. Bottom line is, I think the obsession with Harvard guys is stupid. I mean, I'd be lying if I said I'm 100% over it, but I'm definitely 99% over it. I have been on some great dates over the past month and met amazing guys in Boston who didn't go to Harvard. I realize how silly it would be to measure them by that - they'd like, WTF? There's one man that I especially like and he's really smart and successful and cool and sweet and sexy, and went to a state university. I pretty much think about him way too much and I am so happy I didn't waste my time setting up a tent in Brattle Street, prowling for men in crimson sweaters. It would have been a huge waste of time and I'd have missed out on this great guy. 
Anyway, update finished! |