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[quote=Anonymous]But you are talking about a husband, which has much more serous consequences than being "absurd" about say music or food someone likes. I advise that you snap out of this ASAP. Finding a good man to marry is hard enough without imposing arbitrary limits. Btw, I have a Harvard degree, DH doesn't. We are in our 40s and nobody cares who went to what school. [b]That's important only for early twenties crowd[/b]. You need to grow out of it, lest you end without any husband at all.[/quote]

Bingo.  I'm 36, and most people don't care about who went where. [b] And my experience is that the people who do still care in their 30s and beyond are vapid and superficial and make for horrible company.[/b]  [/quote]

And are probably losers who haven't done anything since going to Harvard.  Have an acquaintance who wnt to an Ivy but has been nothing but a SAHM but lords it over everyone how she wet to an Ivy! [/quote]

The sahm may just be insecure, but in terms of men you are spot on.  Ditto for Rhodes scholars and those who clerked for important judges/justices - IMO it is only those who peaked early that ask about colleges etc and brag to compensate for where they have ended up in life, or the inherently obnoxious country club crowd.

I would be searching for someone who is already employed at a white shoe law firm or investment bank (the bankers have more time and money at least at first), not a student. A Harvard degree means nothing unless you have done well enough there to get to somewhere else, and starting a relationship with a man in law school or a young associate at a firm may be detrimental to his future.  Business school is probably different because in order to gain admission most people must have work experience so the men tend to be older and have already proven their merit in some arena.

In terms of law, it ultimately is the firm that matters not the school.  At my firm (top ten), the issue of where associates and partners went to school is almost taboo.  No one has their diplomas or Order of the Coif framed on the walls of their offices, and the topic never comes up unless two people were classmates, friends from Law Review or something, and when associates are sent to their alma maters to recruit.  What matters  is what year you are in terms of partnership track and just in general what you have accomplished as a lawyer.  That is part of our firm's culture and something I really respect a great deal.  It is one of the reasons I chose my firm.

Furthermore, being good at law school does not necessarily mean you will make a great lawyer - there are plenty from Harvard and Yale who wash out early on, and if you look at where our partners matriculated and where they got their JDs it is honestly quite varied.  In this economy merit matters.  And the hours for associates and even partners are intense.

The only reason my relationship survived law school was because it was long distance and dh was getting an advanced degree in another field but under similar pressure.  You are also still quite young.  We did not marry until early thirties, and by that time our relationship was solid enough to survive 60-70 hour work weeks.

I would say that any man over 40 who is not/has never been married probably has issues,  but we know lots of friends from our Ivy who cohabitated for years before marrying and others who did not find their mates until their late thirties (mostly men who then married younger women, including my brother).

It seems your Harvard obsession is not a proxy for something else and i do find that quite peculiar (Yale is considered a better law school, for example).  i also agree with others that Harvard men will sense your desire and will be put off by it, because even if it is not about money or social climbing that is what it will look like to them.  That is certainly what it sounded like to me from your initial post.

Happy hunting nonetheless! [/quote]

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