Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Anyway, the part you shared about lack of motivation when things are uninteresting and frustration when things go awry also resonated. It may seem slightly off topic in one way, but I think this article by Po Bronson (and the underlying research/book by Carol Dweck) are VERY interesting and may be useful for you to keep in mind when parenting your DD. In some ways it addresses the opposite parenting approach to that discussed in the "Chinese Mothers"book. But sometimes things can come full circle when it comes to motivation and encouraging love of learning for learning's sake (as opposed to seeking praise or avoiding criticism):

The Inverse Power of Praise
http://nymag.com/news/features/27840/

Just read that article - very interesting. I know that it's bad to praise a kid merely for being smart, but somehow my 6YO has figured it out, and attributes his successes to being smart. I will put my new praise techniques to work right away! [sorry about the formatting; I can't figure out how to quote only a part of post and still not "be in the blue."]

[Anonymous]

To the pp who said EQ is more important than IQ. That is simply not true. While you are more likely to succeed with a high IQ + EQ, you can definitely be successful with high IQ and low EQ. The reverse is simply not true. Also, for rhose that saying high expectations are damaging to children, that is also ridiculous. If you do not expect THE BEST and MOST out of your children and encourage and expect them to be the best at everything they do, who else will? I also think that once in a while it is OK to show your dissappointment as long as they know you love them.

Just my 2 cents.

An example of a successful person with a low IQ and high EQ = George W. Bush
Not the sharpest tool in the box, yet someone you wanted to have a beer with. And he became President

[Anonymous]

In business and politics, EQ is far more important than IQ. Someone with charismatic EQ and the ability to hire and motivate people with high IQs as advisors gets ahead in those fields.

[Anonymous]

My husband went to college with a guy who was raised like that. He was generally well-liked. One winter break, however, he had enough and killed both his parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Isn't there a saying that goes something like the first generation earns it, the second generation maintains it and the third and subsequent generations waste it?

Shirt sleeves to Shirt sleeves in 3 generations.

I strongly believe in this.

[Anonymous]

If someone is able to achieve without this kind of strict upbringing, think of the competition if these types of high achievers actually had strict parents. They would blow away the kids brought up by people like the author.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If someone is able to achieve without this kind of strict upbringing, think of the competition if these types of high achievers actually had strict parents. They would blow away the kids brought up by people like the author.

loser!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If someone is able to achieve without this kind of strict upbringing, think of the competition if these types of high achievers actually had strict parents. They would blow away the kids brought up by people like the author.

loser!

thanks winner!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If someone is able to achieve without this kind of strict upbringing, think of the competition if these types of high achievers actually had strict parents. They would blow away the kids brought up by people like the author.

For sure. I frittered away every damn summer playing outside in the woods and was a latch-key kid who grew up rural and working class. Got a 1600 on my SATs and full scholarships to undergrad and grad at Ivys. Guess some people need that strict upbringing and some don't. Maybe I should have played Carnegie Hall just to really rub it in

[Anonymous]

I saw the furor on FB, NPR, and this forum. I was pretty surprised that 99% of people had a negative view of the article.
 
Don't you think all parents overall have good intentions towards their kids? But they lose their temper, take it too far, and kids may not always turn out as they thought they would.
 
I would think what she did that one time on the piano was a litte harsh but all parents are harsh at times. Some might take out a belt, spank, scream irrationally, but she was trying to get the girl to realize that if she tried hard enough she could get something.
In my old neighborhood kids would get in trouble because they didn't clean the house or mow the lawn. They would be grounded for such things.
 
I thought the stereotype and harshness was to make a point not necessarily that she tortured her kids every day for their whole life. I'm sure she took them out for ice cream, shot the breeze with them and obviously they did have toys.
I took her tone to be humorous where others took it as all seriousness.
 
Also, I don't believe every book or garbage article is a scientific treatise.
 

[Anonymous]

Interesting discussion about the article here as well: http://www.quora.com/Parenting/Is-Amy-Chua-right-when-she-explains-Why-Chinese-Mothers-Are-Superior-in-an-op-ed-in-the-Wall-Street-Journal?srid=2D

[Anonymous]

Oh come on...

AA parents also know what to do to get kids' GPA up high...

Check it out:

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here's your answer. Do you want your child to be a Steve Jobs or working for a Steve Jobs coding software?

Well, not everyone can be Steve Jobs, but many Chinese Americans have started similar companies: Steven Chen co-founded YouTube, Jerry Yang co-founded Yahoo, and Charles Wang founded Computer Associates!

Just to show how wrong you are, check out this list of accomplished Chinese Americans. Some of my favorite novelists are listed here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Chinese_Americans#Business

I think you're taking the previous poster's comment out of context. I don't think she was stating that there aren't any accomplished Chinese Americans. She was probably being more sarcastic in that raising children Amy Chua style will breed successful children (like Steve Jobs), and not working for a "Steve Jobs."

I checked that link out of curiousity, and William Hung is on there... anyways, back to the topic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whats this thing about mother superior
Has anyone said anything about the fathers?

In this case, the father has no balls.

I've never figured out why so many white guys have an Asian woman fetish. Growing up, all the Asian women I dealt with were dragon ladies bossing their husbands around. (Ditto to some extent about Russian/Eastern European women, but I've only seen that online not in person.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I saw the furor on FB, NPR, and this forum. I was pretty surprised that 99% of people had a negative view of the article.
 
Don't you think all parents overall have good intentions towards their kids? But they lose their temper, take it too far, and kids may not always turn out as they thought they would.
 
I would think what she did that one time on the piano was a litte harsh but all parents are harsh at times. Some might take out a belt, spank, scream irrationally, but she was trying to get the girl to realize that if she tried hard enough she could get something.
In my old neighborhood kids would get in trouble because they didn't clean the house or mow the lawn. They would be grounded for such things.
 
I thought the stereotype and harshness was to make a point not necessarily that she tortured her kids every day for their whole life. I'm sure she took them out for ice cream, shot the breeze with them and obviously they did have toys.
I took her tone to be humorous where others took it as all seriousness.
 
Also, I don't believe every book or garbage article is a scientific treatise.
 

I agree.