Stay at TT or Retire to Suburbs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just adding a v quick data point: When we were kids, my parents - both native Manhattanites - made the decision to leave the city and raise my siblings and I in CT. We lived in Darien first, then New Canaan, before settling in Westport. My parents also kept an apartment in New York since they worked a lot.

Before leaving the city my sibs and I were in 2nd, 5th, and 6th grades with my brother and I at Trinity and my sister at Spence. We all went to a private day school in CT, then my sister and I went to boarding schools and my brother went to a private day school in new haven for high school.

We ended up at good colleges, have comfortable lives, etc. and, by and large, we enjoyed growing up in ct. The pros and cons of suburban life are pretty self-evident, though i’d be happy to describe in more detail. Still, to this day, my mom rues changing our primary residence from the city. She admits that one of her biggest regrets is raising us outside a major city (we lived in london for about a year and paris for a year and a half when i was a baby), and she tells us that any ancillary benefit of additional savings they received didn’t outweigh the loss of character she thinks that living in NYC builds in young people.

TBF, my parents didn’t need to work, they just enjoyed it. Also, we never enrolled in public schools, though we all played sports in darien and new canaan with tons of public school kids, who, frankly, are pretty much the same as private school kids in a lot of ways. But now that we have our own kids, we plan on staying in the city despite the temptation to move back to ct, where so so sooooo many of our friends have uprooted to.

sounds like generational wealth.

not really sure that applies to many of the people here.

but i understand your mom's point of view. the incremental benefit seems small if the parents don't have to work in the first place.

do your kids go to private school in nyc? would you send your kids to boarding school?

Yes, my kids are in privates in nyc, and yes, we would send them to boarding school if that’s what they wanted to do.

[Anonymous]

I think the equity push is pretty bad in some privates, not so bad in others. You can usually tell because of the copypasta on the website. If I had to do it again though, I’d reframe in my head from “oh, a TT who takes my kid clearly knows what kind of kid it wants,” to doing a lot more research into how they approach what my kid appears to be.

A lot of TT schools (at least in girls schools) red shirt the less high IQ kids and don’t differentiate, and it’s a terrible learning situation for high IQ. Most of those kids don’t need the same thing in lower school that other kids do. The red shirting is actually bad down the other kids too because they aren’t working on their actual grade level and tend to bottom out in middle. Get your kid assessed, talk to educational professionals who do neuropsychs etc. Your preschool exmissions person’s job is to make you happy about getting in somewhere, not the individual outcome for your kid long term. These schools have reps with these people, and they are usually much more accurate about than exmissions pros.

I am so much happier at a K8 with my younger kid, such a mistake to think a K12 TT school was automatically a good bet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow did not expect opinions to be this divided. I swear this is not a troll post, but if you had over $1m in post tax HHI along with $20m+ liquid investments on top, would you view NYC private to be really worth the spend for 2 or 3 kids?

This thread is a mess!

Anyway, in hindsight, I can offer that NYC is a fantastic place to be a teenager. If I had to go back to square one knowing what I know, I would find a way to stay. Our kids went to TT privates, but they have friends whose educational experiences here ran the gamut.

That being said, I'm a product of the suburbs myself, and I had a wonderful childhood and an excellent public school education. The same doors that are open for my DCs were open for me. The key to OP's DCs' future is their affluence, not Princeton public versus Trinity or whatever.

you pulled your kids out of TT to move to the burbs?

No. We stayed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the equity push is pretty bad in some privates, not so bad in others. You can usually tell because of the copypasta on the website. If I had to do it again though, I’d reframe in my head from “oh, a TT who takes my kid clearly knows what kind of kid it wants,” to doing a lot more research into how they approach what my kid appears to be.

A lot of TT schools (at least in girls schools) red shirt the less high IQ kids and don’t differentiate, and it’s a terrible learning situation for high IQ. Most of those kids don’t need the same thing in lower school that other kids do. The red shirting is actually bad down the other kids too because they aren’t working on their actual grade level and tend to bottom out in middle. Get your kid assessed, talk to educational professionals who do neuropsychs etc. Your preschool exmissions person’s job is to make you happy about getting in somewhere, not the individual outcome for your kid long term. These schools have reps with these people, and they are usually much more accurate about than exmissions pros.

I am so much happier at a K8 with my younger kid, such a mistake to think a K12 TT school was automatically a good bet.

can you explain this: A lot of TT schools (at least in girls schools) red shirt the less high IQ kids and don’t differentiate, and it’s a terrible learning situation for high IQ. Most of those kids don’t need the same thing in lower school that other kids do. The red shirting is actually bad down the other kids too because they aren’t working on their actual grade level and tend to bottom out in middle.

what is this red shirting - i thought it was a sports thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the equity push is pretty bad in some privates, not so bad in others. You can usually tell because of the copypasta on the website. If I had to do it again though, I’d reframe in my head from “oh, a TT who takes my kid clearly knows what kind of kid it wants,” to doing a lot more research into how they approach what my kid appears to be.

A lot of TT schools (at least in girls schools) red shirt the less high IQ kids and don’t differentiate, and it’s a terrible learning situation for high IQ. Most of those kids don’t need the same thing in lower school that other kids do. The red shirting is actually bad down the other kids too because they aren’t working on their actual grade level and tend to bottom out in middle. Get your kid assessed, talk to educational professionals who do neuropsychs etc. Your preschool exmissions person’s job is to make you happy about getting in somewhere, not the individual outcome for your kid long term. These schools have reps with these people, and they are usually much more accurate about than exmissions pros.

I am so much happier at a K8 with my younger kid, such a mistake to think a K12 TT school was automatically a good bet.

can you explain this: A lot of TT schools (at least in girls schools) red shirt the less high IQ kids and don’t differentiate, and it’s a terrible learning situation for high IQ. Most of those kids don’t need the same thing in lower school that other kids do. The red shirting is actually bad down the other kids too because they aren’t working on their actual grade level and tend to bottom out in middle.

what is this red shirting - i thought it was a sports thing.

It can refer to any form of putting a kid in a younger grade, including for sports but not exclusively.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the equity push is pretty bad in some privates, not so bad in others. You can usually tell because of the copypasta on the website. If I had to do it again though, I’d reframe in my head from “oh, a TT who takes my kid clearly knows what kind of kid it wants,” to doing a lot more research into how they approach what my kid appears to be.

A lot of TT schools (at least in girls schools) red shirt the less high IQ kids and don’t differentiate, and it’s a terrible learning situation for high IQ. Most of those kids don’t need the same thing in lower school that other kids do. The red shirting is actually bad down the other kids too because they aren’t working on their actual grade level and tend to bottom out in middle. Get your kid assessed, talk to educational professionals who do neuropsychs etc. Your preschool exmissions person’s job is to make you happy about getting in somewhere, not the individual outcome for your kid long term. These schools have reps with these people, and they are usually much more accurate about than exmissions pros.

I am so much happier at a K8 with my younger kid, such a mistake to think a K12 TT school was automatically a good bet.

can you talk more about K8 v K12 differences?

[Anonymous]

After thinking through and reading everyone's posts the conclusion I reach is that a student who has the goods to get into HYP from a TT will also do so from a good public. However the value of the TT is insurance for if the student is not one of those select few because it's really not possible to tell until the start of high school how truly academically gifted / capable a student is. The insurance is a multiples higher odds of admission into T10s through T25s compared to the even best publics. Is this broadly accurate?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After thinking through and reading everyone's posts the conclusion I reach is that a student who has the goods to get into HYP from a TT will also do so from a good public. However the value of the TT is insurance for if the student is not one of those select few because it's really not possible to tell until the start of high school how truly academically gifted / capable a student is. The insurance is a multiples higher odds of admission into T10s through T25s compared to the even best publics. Is this broadly accurate?

Eh not exactly. Many get counseled out of the TTs, either they did not want to engage with material at a high level, they got burnt out being around very accomplished peers, or they were not up to snuff from the get go. If you have the drive to get through a TT and get into a T10-T25 college, you have the drive to have a 4.3 at a strong public through grade grubbing and get into a good college.

[Anonymous]

But as other threads have pointed out don't 50% to 70% of the TTs end up at a T25 or better? What is that percentage at even top publics, maybe 15% to 20%. Doesn't this imply that something like 2/3 of the public either don't care or aren't aiming for a top college? This implied proportion seems awfully high.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:But as other threads have pointed out don't 50% to 70% of the TTs end up at a T25 or better? What is that percentage at even top publics, maybe 15% to 20%. Doesn't this imply that something like 2/3 of the public either don't care or aren't aiming for a top college? This implied proportion seems awfully high.

TTs have a ton of filtering mechanisms to ensure their students are disciplined studiers, children of major donors, and other signals someone is a prospect for a strong college outcome. Even though it is expensive to live in a good public district, it is nowhere near the same filtering mechanism. Don't be so sure your kid will be in the top 50% or even 70% at a TT, there are tons of kids getting tutoring and giving it their all

[Anonymous]

Even the very top of the class is going to do better with the Ivies, Stanford, MIT, etc. at a TT than a strong public with the possible exception of nationally known public magnet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After thinking through and reading everyone's posts the conclusion I reach is that a student who has the goods to get into HYP from a TT will also do so from a good public. However the value of the TT is insurance for if the student is not one of those select few because it's really not possible to tell until the start of high school how truly academically gifted / capable a student is. The insurance is a multiples higher odds of admission into T10s through T25s compared to the even best publics. Is this broadly accurate?

Eh not exactly. Many get counseled out of the TTs, either they did not want to engage with material at a high level, they got burnt out being around very accomplished peers, or they were not up to snuff from the get go. If you have the drive to get through a TT and get into a T10-T25 college, you have the drive to have a 4.3 at a strong public through grade grubbing and get into a good college.

At most "strong suburban" publics, maybe top 5 percent of the class has a shot at a T25, they rarely get kids into all 8 Ivies and Stanford in a given year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After thinking through and reading everyone's posts the conclusion I reach is that a student who has the goods to get into HYP from a TT will also do so from a good public. However the value of the TT is insurance for if the student is not one of those select few because it's really not possible to tell until the start of high school how truly academically gifted / capable a student is. The insurance is a multiples higher odds of admission into T10s through T25s compared to the even best publics. Is this broadly accurate?

Eh not exactly. Many get counseled out of the TTs, either they did not want to engage with material at a high level, they got burnt out being around very accomplished peers, or they were not up to snuff from the get go. If you have the drive to get through a TT and get into a T10-T25 college, you have the drive to have a 4.3 at a strong public through grade grubbing and get into a good college.

At most "strong suburban" publics, maybe top 5 percent of the class has a shot at a T25, they rarely get kids into all 8 Ivies and Stanford in a given year.

Yea but that top 5% just isn't that impressive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After thinking through and reading everyone's posts the conclusion I reach is that a student who has the goods to get into HYP from a TT will also do so from a good public. However the value of the TT is insurance for if the student is not one of those select few because it's really not possible to tell until the start of high school how truly academically gifted / capable a student is. The insurance is a multiples higher odds of admission into T10s through T25s compared to the even best publics. Is this broadly accurate?

Eh not exactly. Many get counseled out of the TTs, either they did not want to engage with material at a high level, they got burnt out being around very accomplished peers, or they were not up to snuff from the get go. If you have the drive to get through a TT and get into a T10-T25 college, you have the drive to have a 4.3 at a strong public through grade grubbing and get into a good college.

At most "strong suburban" publics, maybe top 5 percent of the class has a shot at a T25, they rarely get kids into all 8 Ivies and Stanford in a given year.

Yea but that top 5% just isn't that impressive.

How would you know? They likely all have SAT scores above 1500 and 4.0s as grade inflation is rampant in public schools. Your kid may not necessarily stick out and will probably be competing against some kids with more interesting life stories.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After thinking through and reading everyone's posts the conclusion I reach is that a student who has the goods to get into HYP from a TT will also do so from a good public. However the value of the TT is insurance for if the student is not one of those select few because it's really not possible to tell until the start of high school how truly academically gifted / capable a student is. The insurance is a multiples higher odds of admission into T10s through T25s compared to the even best publics. Is this broadly accurate?

Eh not exactly. Many get counseled out of the TTs, either they did not want to engage with material at a high level, they got burnt out being around very accomplished peers, or they were not up to snuff from the get go. If you have the drive to get through a TT and get into a T10-T25 college, you have the drive to have a 4.3 at a strong public through grade grubbing and get into a good college.

At most "strong suburban" publics, maybe top 5 percent of the class has a shot at a T25, they rarely get kids into all 8 Ivies and Stanford in a given year.

That's not true. A lot of kids get into good schools from places like Scarsdale and Millburn.