Stay at TT or Retire to Suburbs

[Anonymous]

We're currently at a TT and are debating whether to make a significant lifestyle shift to the suburbs. Kids are still young in LS so transition won't be too tough for them. We've fortunately saved enough and accumulated enough passive income to be able to retire, do passion projects, travel etc. and be fine for the rest of our lives. We'd also like to have additional kids which would be both cost and logistically prohibitive in the city. Both me and my spouse would prefer this move but the fact that we'd be giving up a great school and our kids' existing community makes the decision much more difficult. What would you do?

[Anonymous]

We moved from the suburbs to the city with tweens because we were all miserably bored there and thought the city would push them to grow more (as indeed it has).

However, in your situation - where that's the lifestyle you know you want and where your kids would seemingly be getting a lot more time / attention from you - it seems like it could be a good change; if I'd have the spare time to do stuff like build crazy projects in a backyard workshop I probably wouldn't have been so eager to leave. Likewise if we'd had any desire to have > 2 kids.

Kids are malleable; I have a friend who took his 3rd grader out of a TT school and moved them to a suburban public a few years ago, they were dreading the conversation with the kid but it turned out they didn't love their TT anyway and were ready for a change, despite leaving their friends behind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We moved from the suburbs to the city with tweens because we were all miserably bored there and thought the city would push them to grow more (as indeed it has).

However, in your situation - where that's the lifestyle you know you want and where your kids would seemingly be getting a lot more time / attention from you - it seems like it could be a good change; if I'd have the spare time to do stuff like build crazy projects in a backyard workshop I probably wouldn't have been so eager to leave. Likewise if we'd had any desire to have > 2 kids.

Kids are malleable; I have a friend who took his 3rd grader out of a TT school and moved them to a suburban public a few years ago, they were dreading the conversation with the kid but it turned out they didn't love their TT anyway and were ready for a change, despite leaving their friends behind.

OP here. Thanks for sharing that. Would you know if your friend was ultimately happy with the move and how has the kid done since?

[Anonymous]

Give your kids the best education possible. That will mean different things for different kids, it's not necessarily a TT private, but it could be. Time will fly and they will soon be off to college, make sure that your considerable privilege is directed to ensuring that their education is your paramount concern.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Give your kids the best education possible. That will mean different things for different kids, it's not necessarily a TT private, but it could be. Time will fly and they will soon be off to college, make sure that your considerable privilege is directed to ensuring that their education is your paramount concern.

OP here. Yes we absolutely agree. We definitely value education a lot otherwise would have made the move a long time ago. However, our older one regularly says she is bored most of the time in school and regularly wants to fall asleep in math. She gets enrichment so probably won't be until late middle school where she learns any new math from school. We see her advancing in writing but reading level honestly hasn't materially changed in last 2 to 3 years. Also nobody in LS seems interested in science which makes us kind of sad, perhaps too early. The suburb we are looking at is a top 5 school district in the state while reputationally not being a total test factory.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We moved from the suburbs to the city with tweens because we were all miserably bored there and thought the city would push them to grow more (as indeed it has).

However, in your situation - where that's the lifestyle you know you want and where your kids would seemingly be getting a lot more time / attention from you - it seems like it could be a good change; if I'd have the spare time to do stuff like build crazy projects in a backyard workshop I probably wouldn't have been so eager to leave. Likewise if we'd had any desire to have > 2 kids.

Kids are malleable; I have a friend who took his 3rd grader out of a TT school and moved them to a suburban public a few years ago, they were dreading the conversation with the kid but it turned out they didn't love their TT anyway and were ready for a change, despite leaving their friends behind.

OP here. Thanks for sharing that. Would you know if your friend was ultimately happy with the move and how has the kid done since?

Last I heard it went well, the kid made new friends and the new suburban school did a much better job at differentiation than the TT did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We moved from the suburbs to the city with tweens because we were all miserably bored there and thought the city would push them to grow more (as indeed it has).

However, in your situation - where that's the lifestyle you know you want and where your kids would seemingly be getting a lot more time / attention from you - it seems like it could be a good change; if I'd have the spare time to do stuff like build crazy projects in a backyard workshop I probably wouldn't have been so eager to leave. Likewise if we'd had any desire to have > 2 kids.

Kids are malleable; I have a friend who took his 3rd grader out of a TT school and moved them to a suburban public a few years ago, they were dreading the conversation with the kid but it turned out they didn't love their TT anyway and were ready for a change, despite leaving their friends behind.

OP here. Thanks for sharing that. Would you know if your friend was ultimately happy with the move and how has the kid done since?

Last I heard it went well, the kid made new friends and the new suburban school did a much better job at differentiation than the TT did.

the benefit of moving to the burbs is higher odds of your kid being a Valedictorian. Jerrico in long island just had 21 of them!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We moved from the suburbs to the city with tweens because we were all miserably bored there and thought the city would push them to grow more (as indeed it has).

However, in your situation - where that's the lifestyle you know you want and where your kids would seemingly be getting a lot more time / attention from you - it seems like it could be a good change; if I'd have the spare time to do stuff like build crazy projects in a backyard workshop I probably wouldn't have been so eager to leave. Likewise if we'd had any desire to have > 2 kids.

Kids are malleable; I have a friend who took his 3rd grader out of a TT school and moved them to a suburban public a few years ago, they were dreading the conversation with the kid but it turned out they didn't love their TT anyway and were ready for a change, despite leaving their friends behind.

OP here. Thanks for sharing that. Would you know if your friend was ultimately happy with the move and how has the kid done since?

Last I heard it went well, the kid made new friends and the new suburban school did a much better job at differentiation than the TT did.

the benefit of moving to the burbs is higher odds of your kid being a Valedictorian. Jerrico in long island just had 21 of them!

Strongly disagree with this. Numerous college advisors have said that past a certain point better grades don't add to a student's profile. Hoping for better music and STEM offerings as well as differentiation in pace relative to TTs.

[Anonymous]

Bumping post up. Really want to know what everyone thinks! Does TT really provide a lot of marginal benefit if kids are tracking to top quartile of class academically?

[Anonymous]

I found the reliance on APs in the suburbs to differentiate students depressing. You need as many as possible to load up on your transcript to be looked at by top colleges. If you're a top student at a TT, you will take APs, sure, but it's not the sole way your college counselor will be able to sell you. It's honestly the same at a lot of T2 and T3 NYC schools. If that's the bar, it can make a boring class curriculum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bumping post up. Really want to know what everyone thinks! Does TT really provide a lot of marginal benefit if kids are tracking to top quartile of class academically?

The benefits are stronger college admissions and stronger alumni network. Both can be truly significant depending on the school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bumping post up. Really want to know what everyone thinks! Does TT really provide a lot of marginal benefit if kids are tracking to top quartile of class academically?

The benefits are stronger college admissions and stronger alumni network. Both can be truly significant depending on the school.

Can you speak more about the alumni network? Does attending a particular school really lead to opportunities over and beyond what one's college network provides?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bumping post up. Really want to know what everyone thinks! Does TT really provide a lot of marginal benefit if kids are tracking to top quartile of class academically?

The benefits are stronger college admissions and stronger alumni network. Both can be truly significant depending on the school.

Can you speak more about the alumni network? Does attending a particular school really lead to opportunities over and beyond what one's college network provides?

I think the alum networks tend to be stronger at the ss schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bumping post up. Really want to know what everyone thinks! Does TT really provide a lot of marginal benefit if kids are tracking to top quartile of class academically?

The benefits are stronger college admissions and stronger alumni network. Both can be truly significant depending on the school.

Can you speak more about the alumni network? Does attending a particular school really lead to opportunities over and beyond what one's college network provides?

It can be a significant connection. FWIW, there are many suburban families at the hill schools, do you can still live in some Westchester or NJ towns and send your kid to HM.

[Anonymous]

I would wonder how you became so rich and you still don't know when to use me and when to use I.
Then, I would move to the suburbs.