Does your DH watch pornography?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My drive is higher than hers, so yes I do watch porn. But I don't let it interfere with our marriage - I will only watch porn after having sex, when I know it won't happen again for a few days. The scenario I want to avoid at all costs is where she initiates but I have to decline because I just took care of myself. In 20 years together this has never happened.

I don’t buy this mismatched libido excuse as the reason you watch porn. It seems pretty flimsy from an outside perspective. If your drive is so high, why do you have to use porn to take care of yourself?

I understand taking care of yourself when you are turned on and your wife isn’t interested, but what you are saying is that you are using porn to get yourself turned on specifically at times you think your wife won’t be interested (not that you ask her). This isn’t about your high drive. This is about the dopamine release you get from watching porn.

You sound really clueless. Something tells me you are perfectly fine turning your husband down for prolonged periods of time but God forbid he get a release somewhere else.

The post isn’t about getting a release on your own. I don’t think many people have a problem with that. The post is about watching porn.
People can take care of themselves without porn. And if you can’t, then maybe your libido isn’t actually that high.

so we’re policing our spouse’s self-care now? Do you make him hold a wedding photo in his other hand?

NP.

That shameful thing you referred to is ONLY to be done in total darkness!!!




/s (kinda).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My drive is higher than hers, so yes I do watch porn. But I don't let it interfere with our marriage - I will only watch porn after having sex, when I know it won't happen again for a few days. The scenario I want to avoid at all costs is where she initiates but I have to decline because I just took care of myself. In 20 years together this has never happened.

The struggle is real. This has happened to me. We go a month without sex, so it's really bad luck when she says she's in the mood and I've just taken care of myself a couple hours earlier. (If the schedule was more or less weekly, I could avoid this more easily.)

Yikes, too bad you care more about fake women online than your own f***ing spouse. That's so awful.

If she were a f***ing spouse, it wouldn’t be an issue.

Really sad that you're making a joke about hurting your spouse. That's so sad. You literally chose porn over a real life woman. You dont see an issue with that?

You must be MAGA. Despite a clearly written post that says one thing, you insist on your own made up narrative.

+1. It seems likely that PP is being deliberately obtuse, but for others who may be reading along: It wasn't a matter of being given a choice tonight between wife & porn, declining wife, and going with porn. The timeline was: nothing for weeks, porn, then wife randomly being in the mood for sex for the first time in weeks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My drive is higher than hers, so yes I do watch porn. But I don't let it interfere with our marriage - I will only watch porn after having sex, when I know it won't happen again for a few days. The scenario I want to avoid at all costs is where she initiates but I have to decline because I just took care of myself. In 20 years together this has never happened.

The struggle is real. This has happened to me. We go a month without sex, so it's really bad luck when she says she's in the mood and I've just taken care of myself a couple hours earlier. (If the schedule was more or less weekly, I could avoid this more easily.)

Yikes, too bad you care more about fake women online than your own f***ing spouse. That's so awful.

If she were a f***ing spouse, it wouldn’t be an issue.

Really sad that you're making a joke about hurting your spouse. That's so sad. You literally chose porn over a real life woman. You dont see an issue with that?

You must be MAGA. Despite a clearly written post that says one thing, you insist on your own made up narrative.

+1. It seems likely that PP is being deliberately obtuse, but for others who may be reading along: It wasn't a matter of being given a choice tonight between wife & porn, declining wife, and going with porn. The timeline was: nothing for weeks, porn, then wife randomly being in the mood for sex for the first time in weeks.

I feel bad for your wife. Yikes. Talk about a porn addict. You must be doing it multiple times a day and that's not healthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My drive is higher than hers, so yes I do watch porn. But I don't let it interfere with our marriage - I will only watch porn after having sex, when I know it won't happen again for a few days. The scenario I want to avoid at all costs is where she initiates but I have to decline because I just took care of myself. In 20 years together this has never happened.

I don’t buy this mismatched libido excuse as the reason you watch porn. It seems pretty flimsy from an outside perspective. If your drive is so high, why do you have to use porn to take care of yourself?

I understand taking care of yourself when you are turned on and your wife isn’t interested, but what you are saying is that you are using porn to get yourself turned on specifically at times you think your wife won’t be interested (not that you ask her). This isn’t about your high drive. This is about the dopamine release you get from watching porn.

You sound really clueless. Something tells me you are perfectly fine turning your husband down for prolonged periods of time but God forbid he get a release somewhere else.

What? Why would you think that?

If my kids eat potato chips before dinner, does that mean that I don’t feed them regular meals?

I'm the PP who started this line of discussion, and I like this analogy. But I think of it more like dessert. If I eat a big dessert before dinner I'm not going to be hungry for whatever is on my plate during the meal. That's why when I do eat dessert, it's always after dinner.

In terms of taking care of myself with or without porn, I liken that choice to eating a cookie for dessert vs eating a slice of triple chocolate fudge cake. One of those is a lot more unhealthy but also a lot more fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It made my ex fantasize about younger and younger women until he was no longer attracted to me (we were in our late 40s).

Male or female, it is completely irrelevant.

Why can’t late 40 year-old people just be sexually attracted to other 40 year-old people??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My drive is higher than hers, so yes I do watch porn. But I don't let it interfere with our marriage - I will only watch porn after having sex, when I know it won't happen again for a few days. The scenario I want to avoid at all costs is where she initiates but I have to decline because I just took care of myself. In 20 years together this has never happened.

The struggle is real. This has happened to me. We go a month without sex, so it's really bad luck when she says she's in the mood and I've just taken care of myself a couple hours earlier. (If the schedule was more or less weekly, I could avoid this more easily.)

Yikes, too bad you care more about fake women online than your own f***ing spouse. That's so awful.

If she were a f***ing spouse, it wouldn’t be an issue.

Really sad that you're making a joke about hurting your spouse. That's so sad. You literally chose porn over a real life woman. You dont see an issue with that?

You must be MAGA. Despite a clearly written post that says one thing, you insist on your own made up narrative.

+1. It seems likely that PP is being deliberately obtuse, but for others who may be reading along: It wasn't a matter of being given a choice tonight between wife & porn, declining wife, and going with porn. The timeline was: nothing for weeks, porn, then wife randomly being in the mood for sex for the first time in weeks.

I feel bad for your wife. Yikes. Talk about a porn addict. You must be doing it multiple times a day and that's not healthy.

DP, you sound really desperate. Give it up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My drive is higher than hers, so yes I do watch porn. But I don't let it interfere with our marriage - I will only watch porn after having sex, when I know it won't happen again for a few days. The scenario I want to avoid at all costs is where she initiates but I have to decline because I just took care of myself. In 20 years together this has never happened.

I don’t buy this mismatched libido excuse as the reason you watch porn. It seems pretty flimsy from an outside perspective. If your drive is so high, why do you have to use porn to take care of yourself?

I understand taking care of yourself when you are turned on and your wife isn’t interested, but what you are saying is that you are using porn to get yourself turned on specifically at times you think your wife won’t be interested (not that you ask her). This isn’t about your high drive. This is about the dopamine release you get from watching porn.

So? Who doesn’t want a dopamine release? You’re not in charge of your spouse’s dopamine.

This. And not all dopamine releases are created equal. Ideally the dopamine release from sex is greater than that from porn. If that's not the case it can certainly become an issue.

NP. Agree with you on the science behind this: specifically:

- dopamine release.

Skiing, motorcycles/ fast cars, skydiving (indoor or out), MANY activities really boil down to:

- dopamine release.

Getting back to pron, it is simply a shortcut to faster dopamine release while doing “self care.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It made my ex fantasize about younger and younger women until he was no longer attracted to me (we were in our late 40s).

Male or female, it is completely irrelevant.

Why can’t late 40 year-old people just be sexually attracted to other 40 year-old people??

Why can’t people be attracted to whomever they are attracted to?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My drive is higher than hers, so yes I do watch porn. But I don't let it interfere with our marriage - I will only watch porn after having sex, when I know it won't happen again for a few days. The scenario I want to avoid at all costs is where she initiates but I have to decline because I just took care of myself. In 20 years together this has never happened.

I don’t buy this mismatched libido excuse as the reason you watch porn. It seems pretty flimsy from an outside perspective. If your drive is so high, why do you have to use porn to take care of yourself?

I understand taking care of yourself when you are turned on and your wife isn’t interested, but what you are saying is that you are using porn to get yourself turned on specifically at times you think your wife won’t be interested (not that you ask her). This isn’t about your high drive. This is about the dopamine release you get from watching porn.

So? Who doesn’t want a dopamine release? You’re not in charge of your spouse’s dopamine.

This. And not all dopamine releases are created equal. Ideally the dopamine release from sex is greater than that from porn. If that's not the case it can certainly become an issue.

NP. Agree with you on the science behind this: specifically:

- dopamine release.

Skiing, motorcycles/ fast cars, skydiving (indoor or out), MANY activities really boil down to:

- dopamine release.

Getting back to pron, it is simply a shortcut to faster dopamine release while doing “self care.”

You do realize there are like 9,000 things that give you a dopamine release that are not skydiving, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My drive is higher than hers, so yes I do watch porn. But I don't let it interfere with our marriage - I will only watch porn after having sex, when I know it won't happen again for a few days. The scenario I want to avoid at all costs is where she initiates but I have to decline because I just took care of myself. In 20 years together this has never happened.

I don’t buy this mismatched libido excuse as the reason you watch porn. It seems pretty flimsy from an outside perspective. If your drive is so high, why do you have to use porn to take care of yourself?

I understand taking care of yourself when you are turned on and your wife isn’t interested, but what you are saying is that you are using porn to get yourself turned on specifically at times you think your wife won’t be interested (not that you ask her). This isn’t about your high drive. This is about the dopamine release you get from watching porn.

You sound really clueless. Something tells me you are perfectly fine turning your husband down for prolonged periods of time but God forbid he get a release somewhere else.

What? Why would you think that?

If my kids eat potato chips before dinner, does that mean that I don’t feed them regular meals?

I'm the PP who started this line of discussion, and I like this analogy. But I think of it more like dessert. If I eat a big dessert before dinner I'm not going to be hungry for whatever is on my plate during the meal. That's why when I do eat dessert, it's always after dinner.

In terms of taking care of myself with or without porn, I liken that choice to eating a cookie for dessert vs eating a slice of triple chocolate fudge cake. One of those is a lot more unhealthy but also a lot more fun.

At least you admit it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My drive is higher than hers, so yes I do watch porn. But I don't let it interfere with our marriage - I will only watch porn after having sex, when I know it won't happen again for a few days. The scenario I want to avoid at all costs is where she initiates but I have to decline because I just took care of myself. In 20 years together this has never happened.

I don’t buy this mismatched libido excuse as the reason you watch porn. It seems pretty flimsy from an outside perspective. If your drive is so high, why do you have to use porn to take care of yourself?

I understand taking care of yourself when you are turned on and your wife isn’t interested, but what you are saying is that you are using porn to get yourself turned on specifically at times you think your wife won’t be interested (not that you ask her). This isn’t about your high drive. This is about the dopamine release you get from watching porn.

So? Who doesn’t want a dopamine release? You’re not in charge of your spouse’s dopamine.

This. And not all dopamine releases are created equal. Ideally the dopamine release from sex is greater than that from porn. If that's not the case it can certainly become an issue.

NP. Agree with you on the science behind this: specifically:

- dopamine release.

Skiing, motorcycles/ fast cars, skydiving (indoor or out), MANY activities really boil down to:

- dopamine release.

Getting back to pron, it is simply a shortcut to faster dopamine release while doing “self care.”

You do realize there are like 9,000 things that give you a dopamine release that are not skydiving, right?

Hey, skydiving, scrapbooking, skeet shooting, knitting, s*x, horseback riding, stamp-collecting, water-skiing, wearing a certain brand clothing item, rock-climbing:

- whatever floats your boat or lights your rocket.

People get their dopamine hits all sort of ways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My drive is higher than hers, so yes I do watch porn. But I don't let it interfere with our marriage - I will only watch porn after having sex, when I know it won't happen again for a few days. The scenario I want to avoid at all costs is where she initiates but I have to decline because I just took care of myself. In 20 years together this has never happened.

I don’t buy this mismatched libido excuse as the reason you watch porn. It seems pretty flimsy from an outside perspective. If your drive is so high, why do you have to use porn to take care of yourself?

I understand taking care of yourself when you are turned on and your wife isn’t interested, but what you are saying is that you are using porn to get yourself turned on specifically at times you think your wife won’t be interested (not that you ask her). This isn’t about your high drive. This is about the dopamine release you get from watching porn.

You sound really clueless. Something tells me you are perfectly fine turning your husband down for prolonged periods of time but God forbid he get a release somewhere else.

+1.

The PP you responded to sounds clueless and dumb. She specifically ignorant about men in general (her poor husband!).

Here’s a hint:

- know anything at about IVF ? They test the husband at the clinic; the husband is required to go into a private room in the clinic, and ahem - “produce a sample.”

Guess what’s in that room with him? PRON.

How is it so few women on DCUM fail to know this??!?

Never had to do IVF but I would absolutely tell DH he isn’t allowed to look at it in there !

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My drive is higher than hers, so yes I do watch porn. But I don't let it interfere with our marriage - I will only watch porn after having sex, when I know it won't happen again for a few days. The scenario I want to avoid at all costs is where she initiates but I have to decline because I just took care of myself. In 20 years together this has never happened.

I don’t buy this mismatched libido excuse as the reason you watch porn. It seems pretty flimsy from an outside perspective. If your drive is so high, why do you have to use porn to take care of yourself?

I understand taking care of yourself when you are turned on and your wife isn’t interested, but what you are saying is that you are using porn to get yourself turned on specifically at times you think your wife won’t be interested (not that you ask her). This isn’t about your high drive. This is about the dopamine release you get from watching porn.

You sound really clueless. Something tells me you are perfectly fine turning your husband down for prolonged periods of time but God forbid he get a release somewhere else.

+1.

The PP you responded to sounds clueless and dumb. She specifically ignorant about men in general (her poor husband!).

Here’s a hint:

- know anything at about IVF ? They test the husband at the clinic; the husband is required to go into a private room in the clinic, and ahem - “produce a sample.”

Guess what’s in that room with him? PRON.

How is it so few women on DCUM fail to know this??!?

Never had to do IVF but I would absolutely tell DH he isn’t allowed to look at it in there !

I wish you could hear yourself the way we all can. Thanks for the laugh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My drive is higher than hers, so yes I do watch porn. But I don't let it interfere with our marriage - I will only watch porn after having sex, when I know it won't happen again for a few days. The scenario I want to avoid at all costs is where she initiates but I have to decline because I just took care of myself. In 20 years together this has never happened.

I don’t buy this mismatched libido excuse as the reason you watch porn. It seems pretty flimsy from an outside perspective. If your drive is so high, why do you have to use porn to take care of yourself?

I understand taking care of yourself when you are turned on and your wife isn’t interested, but what you are saying is that you are using porn to get yourself turned on specifically at times you think your wife won’t be interested (not that you ask her). This isn’t about your high drive. This is about the dopamine release you get from watching porn.

You sound really clueless. Something tells me you are perfectly fine turning your husband down for prolonged periods of time but God forbid he get a release somewhere else.

+1.

The PP you responded to sounds clueless and dumb. She specifically ignorant about men in general (her poor husband!).

Here’s a hint:

- know anything at about IVF ? They test the husband at the clinic; the husband is required to go into a private room in the clinic, and ahem - “produce a sample.”

Guess what’s in that room with him? PRON.

How is it so few women on DCUM fail to know this??!?

Never had to do IVF but I would absolutely tell DH he isn’t allowed to look at it in there !

I'm surprised that they need it right away. When they tested me after my vasectomy I was able to produce the sample at home and bring it to the doctor's office. But I suppose the process of testing for fertility is more sensitive than the process of testing for infertility.

[Anonymous]

DH does not, but I do, I like watching a woman peg a man.