Does your DH watch pornography?

[Anonymous]

Occasionally we watch it together. It can lead to trying new things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Occasionally we watch it together. It can lead to trying new things.

Do you watch together on a phone? Computer? Tv? Something else?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Occasionally we watch it together. It can lead to trying new things.

Do you watch together on a phone? Computer? Tv? Something else?

How did watching porn come up?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Occasionally we watch it together. It can lead to trying new things.

Do you watch together on a phone? Computer? Tv? Something else?

Tablet.

[Anonymous]

Guy here. I don’t watch pron - its bad for your brain. Basically, and even more than scrolling TikTok, pron produces massive surges of dopamine. It produces so much that you brain has to down-regulate your dopamine receptors to compensate. Once this happens it takes a mountain of dopamine to become aroused and your old wife wanting the same sex you’ve had for 15 years ain’t gonna do it. Also, other things in life become much less exciting: socializing, career, home projects, etc.

I went through a scrolling detox phase and never went back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Married man here. Not one of the lucky ones. I’m the higher libido spouse who maybe has intimacy twice a month (maybe). So watching it every so often is can be relief. Nothing crazy and it doesn’t interfere. Likely not aware though.

Also, my wife isn’t comfortable with much more than missionary. So interest on spicing it up with a toy, new position, etc. I should add that she has never had an O. And doesn’t care.

Of course it’s not realistic. However, by watching it, I get to see what that looks like while getting a release.

Thank you for pointing out another systemic issue. Porn has fried your brain so much that you have no idea how to please a REAL LIFE person. “Oh if I just keep jack hammering her cervix she’ll c*m in no time”. No sir, it does not work like that. Maybe stop watching porn and start watching your wife. Learn HER body and learn how to please HER. I bet you’d both be happier.

Do you honestly think your wife has no interest in sex? When you’d rather give your attention to “characters” in a movie? Like I don’t understand why men don’t see this. If sex was actually enjoyable for her, with a partner that put her wants and desires first, you would not be having this conversation. But no, you’d rather leave your wife unsatisfied and restless and go jerk it to other women.

Before people pile on to this guy, we should let him clarify if his wife has never had an O in general or just not with him. Because if she can't have one by herself it's asking a lot for him to give her one.

She tells me that may have had solo years ago. But isn’t sure. Hasn’t used a vibrator, toys, etc. Which I buy her to explore herself. But doubt she would actually use them.

depends how old she is. I gf of 43 years have difficult time reaching O due to some medical issues but that wasn't the case two years ago. She is in peri-menopause and her hormones are all whacked. Says that she would be ok in doing twice a year and we have discussed this in therapy and other places.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Married man here. Not one of the lucky ones. I’m the higher libido spouse who maybe has intimacy twice a month (maybe). So watching it every so often is can be relief. Nothing crazy and it doesn’t interfere. Likely not aware though.

Also, my wife isn’t comfortable with much more than missionary. So interest on spicing it up with a toy, new position, etc. I should add that she has never had an O. And doesn’t care.






Of course it’s not realistic. However, by watching it, I get to see what that looks like while getting a release.

Ooof. Not much you can do with a starfish. And the fact that she doesn’t care is the real problem. Sex simply is not, and will never be, important to her. The future is bleak, and you will have choices to make.

How do I distinguish between normal factors middle aged couples with kids that can possibly be addressed versus a fundamental mismatch that cannot be overcome. In others words, should I concede and consider other options? Do I even bother keeping trying? For example, by sexy lingerie?

Is there. a way subtly, or not so subtly, of testing her?

1.
Low libido
pre menopause
Busy with kids and work
Agrees being intimate is important
Old fashioned


Vs.

2.
Biological challenges with feeling pleasure (claims parts don’t work that way)
Asexual tendencies
Secretly want to try some kink or alternative relationship, but too ashamed to share
Other factors

Well does she like lingerie? Or are you buying that for yourself?

Both. Hoping to make her feel attractive and set the mood. I do my best to set the mood. Not looking to simply take care of myself and run off.

Of course, I like seeing her in it as wells

Bottom line, I’m seeking to find something that will spark or create and environment for a more fulling intimate relationship for her.

Both? You don't mention what SHE wants at all. You hope it makes her feel attractive and set the mood. Does it make her feel attractive? Or does it make you attracted to her? These are different things. You are still not considering what she wants here.

sometimes the issue could be how women sees themselves. My wife has gained some weight in last 3-4 years and she is more than 180lbs at 5'3". she tells me that she doesn't feel attracted, have some medical issues and always tired.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Married man here. Not one of the lucky ones. I’m the higher libido spouse who maybe has intimacy twice a month (maybe). So watching it every so often is can be relief. Nothing crazy and it doesn’t interfere. Likely not aware though.

Also, my wife isn’t comfortable with much more than missionary. So interest on spicing it up with a toy, new position, etc. I should add that she has never had an O. And doesn’t care.






Of course it’s not realistic. However, by watching it, I get to see what that looks like while getting a release.

Ooof. Not much you can do with a starfish. And the fact that she doesn’t care is the real problem. Sex simply is not, and will never be, important to her. The future is bleak, and you will have choices to make.

How do I distinguish between normal factors middle aged couples with kids that can possibly be addressed versus a fundamental mismatch that cannot be overcome. In others words, should I concede and consider other options? Do I even bother keeping trying? For example, by sexy lingerie?

Is there. a way subtly, or not so subtly, of testing her?

1.
Low libido
pre menopause
Busy with kids and work
Agrees being intimate is important
Old fashioned


Vs.

2.
Biological challenges with feeling pleasure (claims parts don’t work that way)
Asexual tendencies
Secretly want to try some kink or alternative relationship, but too ashamed to share
Other factors

Well does she like lingerie? Or are you buying that for yourself?

Both. Hoping to make her feel attractive and set the mood. I do my best to set the mood. Not looking to simply take care of myself and run off.

Of course, I like seeing her in it as wells

Bottom line, I’m seeking to find something that will spark or create and environment for a more fulling intimate relationship for her.

Both? You don't mention what SHE wants at all. You hope it makes her feel attractive and set the mood. Does it make her feel attractive? Or does it make you attracted to her? These are different things. You are still not considering what she wants here.

You're ignoring the very real likelihood that her wants do not and will not involve sex at all. There are plenty of women who, through no fault or lack of trying by their husbands, simply don't want to bother with sex. Hormones alone can be the explanation. There is nothing inherently wrong with this - it's perfectly normal for a woman to be wired this way; but it is a problem for the marriage - because mismatched libidos can really damage a relationship.

yes, totally concur with this. M44 with 42F and her hormones are all whacked. No drive and have taken tons of HRT and other solutions.

[Anonymous]

Oh, no, of course not. I’m sure he never does. 🫠

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Married man here. Not one of the lucky ones. I’m the higher libido spouse who maybe has intimacy twice a month (maybe). So watching it every so often is can be relief. Nothing crazy and it doesn’t interfere. Likely not aware though.

Also, my wife isn’t comfortable with much more than missionary. So interest on spicing it up with a toy, new position, etc. I should add that she has never had an O. And doesn’t care.

Of course it’s not realistic. However, by watching it, I get to see what that looks like while getting a release.

Thank you for pointing out another systemic issue. Porn has fried your brain so much that you have no idea how to please a REAL LIFE person. “Oh if I just keep jack hammering her cervix she’ll c*m in no time”. No sir, it does not work like that. Maybe stop watching porn and start watching your wife. Learn HER body and learn how to please HER. I bet you’d both be happier.

Do you honestly think your wife has no interest in sex? When you’d rather give your attention to “characters” in a movie? Like I don’t understand why men don’t see this. If sex was actually enjoyable for her, with a partner that put her wants and desires first, you would not be having this conversation. But no, you’d rather leave your wife unsatisfied and restless and go jerk it to other women.

This is what most women prefer. And this differentiates a real man from a beta

Ha ha lol no.

Soon their will be a gorgeous, soft, loving, and willing humanoid in every house

Can’t wait

If women did not have vaginas no man would marry them

Proof that sexuality is never a choice.

Can’t wait for men to leave women alone.