Does your DH watch pornography?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My drive is higher than hers, so yes I do watch porn. But I don't let it interfere with our marriage - I will only watch porn after having sex, when I know it won't happen again for a few days. The scenario I want to avoid at all costs is where she initiates but I have to decline because I just took care of myself. In 20 years together this has never happened.

I don’t buy this mismatched libido excuse as the reason you watch porn. It seems pretty flimsy from an outside perspective. If your drive is so high, why do you have to use porn to take care of yourself?

I understand taking care of yourself when you are turned on and your wife isn’t interested, but what you are saying is that you are using porn to get yourself turned on specifically at times you think your wife won’t be interested (not that you ask her). This isn’t about your high drive. This is about the dopamine release you get from watching porn.

You sound really clueless. Something tells me you are perfectly fine turning your husband down for prolonged periods of time but God forbid he get a release somewhere else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My drive is higher than hers, so yes I do watch porn. But I don't let it interfere with our marriage - I will only watch porn after having sex, when I know it won't happen again for a few days. The scenario I want to avoid at all costs is where she initiates but I have to decline because I just took care of myself. In 20 years together this has never happened.

I don’t buy this mismatched libido excuse as the reason you watch porn. It seems pretty flimsy from an outside perspective. If your drive is so high, why do you have to use porn to take care of yourself?

I understand taking care of yourself when you are turned on and your wife isn’t interested, but what you are saying is that you are using porn to get yourself turned on specifically at times you think your wife won’t be interested (not that you ask her). This isn’t about your high drive. This is about the dopamine release you get from watching porn.

So? Who doesn’t want a dopamine release? You’re not in charge of your spouse’s dopamine.

That’s fine, but don’t blame your porn watching on your spouse. You are watching it because you want to watch it. It has nothing to do with your spouse or your libido.

DP, he never blamed it on his spouse. In fact, he said he only watches it and gets off when he knows his spouse is not going to be in the mood. You're trying too hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My drive is higher than hers, so yes I do watch porn. But I don't let it interfere with our marriage - I will only watch porn after having sex, when I know it won't happen again for a few days. The scenario I want to avoid at all costs is where she initiates but I have to decline because I just took care of myself. In 20 years together this has never happened.

I don’t buy this mismatched libido excuse as the reason you watch porn. It seems pretty flimsy from an outside perspective. If your drive is so high, why do you have to use porn to take care of yourself?

I understand taking care of yourself when you are turned on and your wife isn’t interested, but what you are saying is that you are using porn to get yourself turned on specifically at times you think your wife won’t be interested (not that you ask her). This isn’t about your high drive. This is about the dopamine release you get from watching porn.

You sound really clueless. Something tells me you are perfectly fine turning your husband down for prolonged periods of time but God forbid he get a release somewhere else.

What? Why would you think that?

If my kids eat potato chips before dinner, does that mean that I don’t feed them regular meals?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My drive is higher than hers, so yes I do watch porn. But I don't let it interfere with our marriage - I will only watch porn after having sex, when I know it won't happen again for a few days. The scenario I want to avoid at all costs is where she initiates but I have to decline because I just took care of myself. In 20 years together this has never happened.

The struggle is real. This has happened to me. We go a month without sex, so it's really bad luck when she says she's in the mood and I've just taken care of myself a couple hours earlier. (If the schedule was more or less weekly, I could avoid this more easily.)

Yikes, too bad you care more about fake women online than your own f***ing spouse. That's so awful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My drive is higher than hers, so yes I do watch porn. But I don't let it interfere with our marriage - I will only watch porn after having sex, when I know it won't happen again for a few days. The scenario I want to avoid at all costs is where she initiates but I have to decline because I just took care of myself. In 20 years together this has never happened.

I don’t buy this mismatched libido excuse as the reason you watch porn. It seems pretty flimsy from an outside perspective. If your drive is so high, why do you have to use porn to take care of yourself?

I understand taking care of yourself when you are turned on and your wife isn’t interested, but what you are saying is that you are using porn to get yourself turned on specifically at times you think your wife won’t be interested (not that you ask her). This isn’t about your high drive. This is about the dopamine release you get from watching porn.

You sound really clueless. Something tells me you are perfectly fine turning your husband down for prolonged periods of time but God forbid he get a release somewhere else.

The post isn’t about getting a release on your own. I don’t think many people have a problem with that. The post is about watching porn.
People can take care of themselves without porn. And if you can’t, then maybe your libido isn’t actually that high.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your porn use is due to your wife’s low(er) libido, are you initiating sex, getting turned down, and then using porn?

No - since I am just about always ready to go when she is, she initiates.

This is pretty much every woman’s dream scenario.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My drive is higher than hers, so yes I do watch porn. But I don't let it interfere with our marriage - I will only watch porn after having sex, when I know it won't happen again for a few days. The scenario I want to avoid at all costs is where she initiates but I have to decline because I just took care of myself. In 20 years together this has never happened.

I don’t buy this mismatched libido excuse as the reason you watch porn. It seems pretty flimsy from an outside perspective. If your drive is so high, why do you have to use porn to take care of yourself?

I understand taking care of yourself when you are turned on and your wife isn’t interested, but what you are saying is that you are using porn to get yourself turned on specifically at times you think your wife won’t be interested (not that you ask her). This isn’t about your high drive. This is about the dopamine release you get from watching porn.

You sound really clueless. Something tells me you are perfectly fine turning your husband down for prolonged periods of time but God forbid he get a release somewhere else.

+1.

The PP you responded to sounds clueless and dumb. She specifically ignorant about men in general (her poor husband!).

Here’s a hint:

- know anything at about IVF ? They test the husband at the clinic; the husband is required to go into a private room in the clinic, and ahem - “produce a sample.”

Guess what’s in that room with him? PRON.

How is it so few women on DCUM fail to know this??!?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My drive is higher than hers, so yes I do watch porn. But I don't let it interfere with our marriage - I will only watch porn after having sex, when I know it won't happen again for a few days. The scenario I want to avoid at all costs is where she initiates but I have to decline because I just took care of myself. In 20 years together this has never happened.

The struggle is real. This has happened to me. We go a month without sex, so it's really bad luck when she says she's in the mood and I've just taken care of myself a couple hours earlier. (If the schedule was more or less weekly, I could avoid this more easily.)

Yikes, too bad you care more about fake women online than your own f***ing spouse. That's so awful.

If she were a f***ing spouse, it wouldn’t be an issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m pretty sure that my DH’s secret habit is what led him to pull away from our marriage and become verbally and emotionally abusive and very, very angry. Before he stopped touching me altogether he started asking for very specific things and getting pouty when I set boundaries, just as others described.

I wish I had found a way to look at his phone or computer before he left to see what was really going on. I’ll never know for sure. My fear now is that he is using it while he has custody of my kids. It disgusts and repulses me in a way that is far worse than when it was under my own roof, but I can’t articulate why.

Redpill forums on the Internet have harmed men and marriages way more than porn ever will. I also, obviously, have no way of knowing; but your husband's change looks a lot to me like he was following "redpill" advice from Internet strangers: push boundaries, act dominant, do a 180, make her chase you; women say they want a partner, but really they want a leader, etc.

PP you’re responding to and I was trying to not be explicit but what my DH was doing was requesting or trying specific sex acts without consent and moving and manipulating my body in ways that he has never done before which seemed very obviously cribbed from somewhere. Then the angry behavior followed when I wouldn’t go along with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My drive is higher than hers, so yes I do watch porn. But I don't let it interfere with our marriage - I will only watch porn after having sex, when I know it won't happen again for a few days. The scenario I want to avoid at all costs is where she initiates but I have to decline because I just took care of myself. In 20 years together this has never happened.

I don’t buy this mismatched libido excuse as the reason you watch porn. It seems pretty flimsy from an outside perspective. If your drive is so high, why do you have to use porn to take care of yourself?

I understand taking care of yourself when you are turned on and your wife isn’t interested, but what you are saying is that you are using porn to get yourself turned on specifically at times you think your wife won’t be interested (not that you ask her). This isn’t about your high drive. This is about the dopamine release you get from watching porn.

You sound really clueless. Something tells me you are perfectly fine turning your husband down for prolonged periods of time but God forbid he get a release somewhere else.

The post isn’t about getting a release on your own. I don’t think many people have a problem with that. The post is about watching porn.
People can take care of themselves without porn. And if you can’t, then maybe your libido isn’t actually that high.

so we’re policing our spouse’s self-care now? Do you make him hold a wedding photo in his other hand?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My drive is higher than hers, so yes I do watch porn. But I don't let it interfere with our marriage - I will only watch porn after having sex, when I know it won't happen again for a few days. The scenario I want to avoid at all costs is where she initiates but I have to decline because I just took care of myself. In 20 years together this has never happened.

I don’t buy this mismatched libido excuse as the reason you watch porn. It seems pretty flimsy from an outside perspective. If your drive is so high, why do you have to use porn to take care of yourself?

I understand taking care of yourself when you are turned on and your wife isn’t interested, but what you are saying is that you are using porn to get yourself turned on specifically at times you think your wife won’t be interested (not that you ask her). This isn’t about your high drive. This is about the dopamine release you get from watching porn.

You sound really clueless. Something tells me you are perfectly fine turning your husband down for prolonged periods of time but God forbid he get a release somewhere else.

The post isn’t about getting a release on your own. I don’t think many people have a problem with that. The post is about watching porn.
People can take care of themselves without porn. And if you can’t, then maybe your libido isn’t actually that high.

And that's why I said she is clueless. High libido and watching port to make the whole experience a bit more fun are not mutually exclusive. Ultimately, who cares why we watch it????

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My drive is higher than hers, so yes I do watch porn. But I don't let it interfere with our marriage - I will only watch porn after having sex, when I know it won't happen again for a few days. The scenario I want to avoid at all costs is where she initiates but I have to decline because I just took care of myself. In 20 years together this has never happened.

I don’t buy this mismatched libido excuse as the reason you watch porn. It seems pretty flimsy from an outside perspective. If your drive is so high, why do you have to use porn to take care of yourself?

I understand taking care of yourself when you are turned on and your wife isn’t interested, but what you are saying is that you are using porn to get yourself turned on specifically at times you think your wife won’t be interested (not that you ask her). This isn’t about your high drive. This is about the dopamine release you get from watching porn.

You sound really clueless. Something tells me you are perfectly fine turning your husband down for prolonged periods of time but God forbid he get a release somewhere else.

The post isn’t about getting a release on your own. I don’t think many people have a problem with that. The post is about watching porn.
People can take care of themselves without porn. And if you can’t, then maybe your libido isn’t actually that high.

so we’re policing our spouse’s self-care now? Do you make him hold a wedding photo in his other hand?

Clearly! that's the only sanctioned way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My drive is higher than hers, so yes I do watch porn. But I don't let it interfere with our marriage - I will only watch porn after having sex, when I know it won't happen again for a few days. The scenario I want to avoid at all costs is where she initiates but I have to decline because I just took care of myself. In 20 years together this has never happened.

The struggle is real. This has happened to me. We go a month without sex, so it's really bad luck when she says she's in the mood and I've just taken care of myself a couple hours earlier. (If the schedule was more or less weekly, I could avoid this more easily.)

Yikes, too bad you care more about fake women online than your own f***ing spouse. That's so awful.

If she were a f***ing spouse, it wouldn’t be an issue.

Lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My drive is higher than hers, so yes I do watch porn. But I don't let it interfere with our marriage - I will only watch porn after having sex, when I know it won't happen again for a few days. The scenario I want to avoid at all costs is where she initiates but I have to decline because I just took care of myself. In 20 years together this has never happened.

The struggle is real. This has happened to me. We go a month without sex, so it's really bad luck when she says she's in the mood and I've just taken care of myself a couple hours earlier. (If the schedule was more or less weekly, I could avoid this more easily.)

Yikes, too bad you care more about fake women online than your own f***ing spouse. That's so awful.

If she were a f***ing spouse, it wouldn’t be an issue.

Really sad that you're making a joke about hurting your spouse. That's so sad. You literally chose porn over a real life woman. You dont see an issue with that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My drive is higher than hers, so yes I do watch porn. But I don't let it interfere with our marriage - I will only watch porn after having sex, when I know it won't happen again for a few days. The scenario I want to avoid at all costs is where she initiates but I have to decline because I just took care of myself. In 20 years together this has never happened.

The struggle is real. This has happened to me. We go a month without sex, so it's really bad luck when she says she's in the mood and I've just taken care of myself a couple hours earlier. (If the schedule was more or less weekly, I could avoid this more easily.)

Yikes, too bad you care more about fake women online than your own f***ing spouse. That's so awful.

If she were a f***ing spouse, it wouldn’t be an issue.

Really sad that you're making a joke about hurting your spouse. That's so sad. You literally chose porn over a real life woman. You dont see an issue with that?

You must be MAGA. Despite a clearly written post that says one thing, you insist on your own made up narrative.