Does your DH watch pornography?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Married man here. Not one of the lucky ones. I’m the higher libido spouse who maybe has intimacy twice a month (maybe). So watching it every so often is can be relief. Nothing crazy and it doesn’t interfere. Likely not aware though.

Also, my wife isn’t comfortable with much more than missionary. So interest on spicing it up with a toy, new position, etc. I should add that she has never had an O. And doesn’t care.

Of course it’s not realistic. However, by watching it, I get to see what that looks like while getting a release.

Thank you for pointing out another systemic issue. Porn has fried your brain so much that you have no idea how to please a REAL LIFE person. “Oh if I just keep jack hammering her cervix she’ll c*m in no time”. No sir, it does not work like that. Maybe stop watching porn and start watching your wife. Learn HER body and learn how to please HER. I bet you’d both be happier.

Do you honestly think your wife has no interest in sex? When you’d rather give your attention to “characters” in a movie? Like I don’t understand why men don’t see this. If sex was actually enjoyable for her, with a partner that put her wants and desires first, you would not be having this conversation. But no, you’d rather leave your wife unsatisfied and restless and go jerk it to other women.

Before people pile on to this guy, we should let him clarify if his wife has never had an O in general or just not with him. Because if she can't have one by herself it's asking a lot for him to give her one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Married man here. Not one of the lucky ones. I’m the higher libido spouse who maybe has intimacy twice a month (maybe). So watching it every so often is can be relief. Nothing crazy and it doesn’t interfere. Likely not aware though.

Also, my wife isn’t comfortable with much more than missionary. So interest on spicing it up with a toy, new position, etc. I should add that she has never had an O. And doesn’t care.

Of course it’s not realistic. However, by watching it, I get to see what that looks like while getting a release.

Thank you for pointing out another systemic issue. Porn has fried your brain so much that you have no idea how to please a REAL LIFE person. “Oh if I just keep jack hammering her cervix she’ll c*m in no time”. No sir, it does not work like that. Maybe stop watching porn and start watching your wife. Learn HER body and learn how to please HER. I bet you’d both be happier.

Do you honestly think your wife has no interest in sex? When you’d rather give your attention to “characters” in a movie? Like I don’t understand why men don’t see this. If sex was actually enjoyable for her, with a partner that put her wants and desires first, you would not be having this conversation. But no, you’d rather leave your wife unsatisfied and restless and go jerk it to other women.

Before people pile on to this guy, we should let him clarify if his wife has never had an O in general or just not with him. Because if she can't have one by herself it's asking a lot for him to give her one.

Either way porn is not going to help him learn HER body better. Put his focus into that. Put his focus onto her. Fake orgasms from fake actors is not going to benefit their sex life together. For him, sure it’s fine. But if he actually wants more sex with his WIFE that’s not gonna work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If men know their partner is uncomfortable with it, why do they continue? Do they not care about their partner?

Get a grip. I don't want my DH monitoring what I watch, read, etc. If it is not causing problems, what do you care?

It is causing problems, like for the OP. Why so hostile?

There's a reasonableness test. It shouldn't cause problems for a reasonable person. The OP is lashing out at a symptom rather than the cause.

The cause is her husband disrespecting her. What is the cure for that?

No more than a lack of respect by the wife for the husband.

Where does that come in? Has OP mentioned she's disrespectful to her husband?

Of course not. According to OP, she is perfect, has done nothing wrong, and her DH is solely responsible for the problem.

There’s a clue in there that OP is not noticing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Married man here. Not one of the lucky ones. I’m the higher libido spouse who maybe has intimacy twice a month (maybe). So watching it every so often is can be relief. Nothing crazy and it doesn’t interfere. Likely not aware though.

Also, my wife isn’t comfortable with much more than missionary. So interest on spicing it up with a toy, new position, etc. I should add that she has never had an O. And doesn’t care.

Of course it’s not realistic. However, by watching it, I get to see what that looks like while getting a release.

Ooof. Not much you can do with a starfish. And the fact that she doesn’t care is the real problem. Sex simply is not, and will never be, important to her. The future is bleak, and you will have choices to make.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Married man here. Not one of the lucky ones. I’m the higher libido spouse who maybe has intimacy twice a month (maybe). So watching it every so often is can be relief. Nothing crazy and it doesn’t interfere. Likely not aware though.

Also, my wife isn’t comfortable with much more than missionary. So interest on spicing it up with a toy, new position, etc. I should add that she has never had an O. And doesn’t care.



Of course it’s not realistic. However, by watching it, I get to see what that looks like while getting a release.

Ooof. Not much you can do with a starfish. And the fact that she doesn’t care is the real problem. Sex simply is not, and will never be, important to her. The future is bleak, and you will have choices to make.

How do I distinguish between normal factors middle aged couples with kids that can possibly be addressed versus a fundamental mismatch that cannot be overcome. In others words, should I concede and consider other options? Do I even bother keeping trying? For example, by sexy lingerie?

Is there. a way subtly, or not so subtly, of testing her?

1.
Low libido
pre menopause
Busy with kids and work
Agrees being intimate is important
Old fashioned


Vs.

2.
Biological challenges with feeling pleasure (claims parts don’t work that way)
Asexual tendencies
Secretly want to try some kink or alternative relationship, but too ashamed to share
Other factors

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Married man here. Not one of the lucky ones. I’m the higher libido spouse who maybe has intimacy twice a month (maybe). So watching it every so often is can be relief. Nothing crazy and it doesn’t interfere. Likely not aware though.

Also, my wife isn’t comfortable with much more than missionary. So interest on spicing it up with a toy, new position, etc. I should add that she has never had an O. And doesn’t care.



Of course it’s not realistic. However, by watching it, I get to see what that looks like while getting a release.

Ooof. Not much you can do with a starfish. And the fact that she doesn’t care is the real problem. Sex simply is not, and will never be, important to her. The future is bleak, and you will have choices to make.

How do I distinguish between normal factors middle aged couples with kids that can possibly be addressed versus a fundamental mismatch that cannot be overcome. In others words, should I concede and consider other options? Do I even bother keeping trying? For example, by sexy lingerie?

Is there. a way subtly, or not so subtly, of testing her?

1.
Low libido
pre menopause
Busy with kids and work
Agrees being intimate is important
Old fashioned


Vs.

2.
Biological challenges with feeling pleasure (claims parts don’t work that way)
Asexual tendencies
Secretly want to try some kink or alternative relationship, but too ashamed to share
Other factors

Well does she like lingerie? Or are you buying that for yourself?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has this ever been a problem in a relationship for you?

Anyone that says they don't at least watch it occasionally, is a liar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has this ever been a problem in a relationship for you?

Anyone that says they don't at least watch it occasionally, is a liar.

There are whole communities dedicated to abstaining. So no. Just because you do meth doesn’t mean everyone does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Married man here. Not one of the lucky ones. I’m the higher libido spouse who maybe has intimacy twice a month (maybe). So watching it every so often is can be relief. Nothing crazy and it doesn’t interfere. Likely not aware though.

Also, my wife isn’t comfortable with much more than missionary. So interest on spicing it up with a toy, new position, etc. I should add that she has never had an O. And doesn’t care.

Of course it’s not realistic. However, by watching it, I get to see what that looks like while getting a release.

Thank you for pointing out another systemic issue. Porn has fried your brain so much that you have no idea how to please a REAL LIFE person. “Oh if I just keep jack hammering her cervix she’ll c*m in no time”. No sir, it does not work like that. Maybe stop watching porn and start watching your wife. Learn HER body and learn how to please HER. I bet you’d both be happier.

Do you honestly think your wife has no interest in sex? When you’d rather give your attention to “characters” in a movie? Like I don’t understand why men don’t see this. If sex was actually enjoyable for her, with a partner that put her wants and desires first, you would not be having this conversation. But no, you’d rather leave your wife unsatisfied and restless and go jerk it to other women.

This is what most women prefer. And this differentiates a real man from a beta

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Married man here. Not one of the lucky ones. I’m the higher libido spouse who maybe has intimacy twice a month (maybe). So watching it every so often is can be relief. Nothing crazy and it doesn’t interfere. Likely not aware though.

Also, my wife isn’t comfortable with much more than missionary. So interest on spicing it up with a toy, new position, etc. I should add that she has never had an O. And doesn’t care.






Of course it’s not realistic. However, by watching it, I get to see what that looks like while getting a release.

Ooof. Not much you can do with a starfish. And the fact that she doesn’t care is the real problem. Sex simply is not, and will never be, important to her. The future is bleak, and you will have choices to make.

How do I distinguish between normal factors middle aged couples with kids that can possibly be addressed versus a fundamental mismatch that cannot be overcome. In others words, should I concede and consider other options? Do I even bother keeping trying? For example, by sexy lingerie?

Is there. a way subtly, or not so subtly, of testing her?

1.
Low libido
pre menopause
Busy with kids and work
Agrees being intimate is important
Old fashioned


Vs.

2.
Biological challenges with feeling pleasure (claims parts don’t work that way)
Asexual tendencies
Secretly want to try some kink or alternative relationship, but too ashamed to share
Other factors

Well does she like lingerie? Or are you buying that for yourself?

Both. Hoping to make her feel attractive and set the mood. I do my best to set the mood. Not looking to simply take care of myself and run off.

Of course, I like seeing her in it as wells

Bottom line, I’m seeking to find something that will spark or create and environment for a more fulling intimate relationship for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Married man here. Not one of the lucky ones. I’m the higher libido spouse who maybe has intimacy twice a month (maybe). So watching it every so often is can be relief. Nothing crazy and it doesn’t interfere. Likely not aware though.

Also, my wife isn’t comfortable with much more than missionary. So interest on spicing it up with a toy, new position, etc. I should add that she has never had an O. And doesn’t care.

Of course it’s not realistic. However, by watching it, I get to see what that looks like while getting a release.

Thank you for pointing out another systemic issue. Porn has fried your brain so much that you have no idea how to please a REAL LIFE person. “Oh if I just keep jack hammering her cervix she’ll c*m in no time”. No sir, it does not work like that. Maybe stop watching porn and start watching your wife. Learn HER body and learn how to please HER. I bet you’d both be happier.

Do you honestly think your wife has no interest in sex? When you’d rather give your attention to “characters” in a movie? Like I don’t understand why men don’t see this. If sex was actually enjoyable for her, with a partner that put her wants and desires first, you would not be having this conversation. But no, you’d rather leave your wife unsatisfied and restless and go jerk it to other women.

Before people pile on to this guy, we should let him clarify if his wife has never had an O in general or just not with him. Because if she can't have one by herself it's asking a lot for him to give her one.

She tells me that may have had solo years ago. But isn’t sure. Hasn’t used a vibrator, toys, etc. Which I buy her to explore herself. But doubt she would actually use them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has this ever been a problem in a relationship for you?

Anyone that says they don't at least watch it occasionally, is a liar.

There are whole communities dedicated to abstaining. So no. Just because you do meth doesn’t mean everyone does.

Most of which are No FAP communities started by male "coaches" targeting young male incels as a way to make them not feel as bad about themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Married man here. Not one of the lucky ones. I’m the higher libido spouse who maybe has intimacy twice a month (maybe). So watching it every so often is can be relief. Nothing crazy and it doesn’t interfere. Likely not aware though.

Also, my wife isn’t comfortable with much more than missionary. So interest on spicing it up with a toy, new position, etc. I should add that she has never had an O. And doesn’t care.

Of course it’s not realistic. However, by watching it, I get to see what that looks like while getting a release.

Thank you for pointing out another systemic issue. Porn has fried your brain so much that you have no idea how to please a REAL LIFE person. “Oh if I just keep jack hammering her cervix she’ll c*m in no time”. No sir, it does not work like that. Maybe stop watching porn and start watching your wife. Learn HER body and learn how to please HER. I bet you’d both be happier.

Do you honestly think your wife has no interest in sex? When you’d rather give your attention to “characters” in a movie? Like I don’t understand why men don’t see this. If sex was actually enjoyable for her, with a partner that put her wants and desires first, you would not be having this conversation. But no, you’d rather leave your wife unsatisfied and restless and go jerk it to other women.

This is what most women prefer. And this differentiates a real man from a beta

Huh? You think women prefer jackhammering? I've never been with any women who preferred that. My gf usually has 5-15 orgasms when we have intercourse, and there's no jackhammering. What makes a real man is attending to her body and her desire. Learn something called coital alignment technique, to get you started.

[Anonymous]

Men can learn from porn, but mostly lesbian porn. There is some hetero porn that can be helpful but it's harder to find.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Married man here. Not one of the lucky ones. I’m the higher libido spouse who maybe has intimacy twice a month (maybe). So watching it every so often is can be relief. Nothing crazy and it doesn’t interfere. Likely not aware though.

Also, my wife isn’t comfortable with much more than missionary. So interest on spicing it up with a toy, new position, etc. I should add that she has never had an O. And doesn’t care.

Of course it’s not realistic. However, by watching it, I get to see what that looks like while getting a release.

Ooof. Not much you can do with a starfish. And the fact that she doesn’t care is the real problem. Sex simply is not, and will never be, important to her. The future is bleak, and you will have choices to make.

Is it that she doesn’t care or that she’s given up? Because the latter is much more common. Women need a safe place to be sexual. That means not just listening and responding to her, but also being open-minded and EXCITED about her feeling good. (Yes, this goes both ways, but men generally don’t have this issue.)