Does your DH watch pornography?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men can learn from porn, but mostly lesbian porn. There is some hetero porn that can be helpful but it's harder to find.

Please no. Not mainstream stuff where they angle it and make eye contact with the camera. It’s awful. You can get WAY better in bed by just being present and into whatever you’re doing. I always ask my partner how they touch themselves, what they like, etc. It’s just fun. In no time you know exactly what buttons to push.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Married man here. Not one of the lucky ones. I’m the higher libido spouse who maybe has intimacy twice a month (maybe). So watching it every so often is can be relief. Nothing crazy and it doesn’t interfere. Likely not aware though.

Also, my wife isn’t comfortable with much more than missionary. So interest on spicing it up with a toy, new position, etc. I should add that she has never had an O. And doesn’t care.

Of course it’s not realistic. However, by watching it, I get to see what that looks like while getting a release.

Thank you for pointing out another systemic issue. Porn has fried your brain so much that you have no idea how to please a REAL LIFE person. “Oh if I just keep jack hammering her cervix she’ll c*m in no time”. No sir, it does not work like that. Maybe stop watching porn and start watching your wife. Learn HER body and learn how to please HER. I bet you’d both be happier.

Do you honestly think your wife has no interest in sex? When you’d rather give your attention to “characters” in a movie? Like I don’t understand why men don’t see this. If sex was actually enjoyable for her, with a partner that put her wants and desires first, you would not be having this conversation. But no, you’d rather leave your wife unsatisfied and restless and go jerk it to other women.

This is what most women prefer. And this differentiates a real man from a beta

Huh? You think women prefer jackhammering? I've never been with any women who preferred that. My gf usually has 5-15 orgasms when we have intercourse, and there's no jackhammering. What makes a real man is attending to her body and her desire. Learn something called coital alignment technique, to get you started.

Well done, and I'm wishing you two many years of this should she become your wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Married man here. Not one of the lucky ones. I’m the higher libido spouse who maybe has intimacy twice a month (maybe). So watching it every so often is can be relief. Nothing crazy and it doesn’t interfere. Likely not aware though.

Also, my wife isn’t comfortable with much more than missionary. So interest on spicing it up with a toy, new position, etc. I should add that she has never had an O. And doesn’t care.






Of course it’s not realistic. However, by watching it, I get to see what that looks like while getting a release.

Ooof. Not much you can do with a starfish. And the fact that she doesn’t care is the real problem. Sex simply is not, and will never be, important to her. The future is bleak, and you will have choices to make.

How do I distinguish between normal factors middle aged couples with kids that can possibly be addressed versus a fundamental mismatch that cannot be overcome. In others words, should I concede and consider other options? Do I even bother keeping trying? For example, by sexy lingerie?

Is there. a way subtly, or not so subtly, of testing her?

1.
Low libido
pre menopause
Busy with kids and work
Agrees being intimate is important
Old fashioned


Vs.

2.
Biological challenges with feeling pleasure (claims parts don’t work that way)
Asexual tendencies
Secretly want to try some kink or alternative relationship, but too ashamed to share
Other factors

Well does she like lingerie? Or are you buying that for yourself?

Both. Hoping to make her feel attractive and set the mood. I do my best to set the mood. Not looking to simply take care of myself and run off.

Of course, I like seeing her in it as wells

Bottom line, I’m seeking to find something that will spark or create and environment for a more fulling intimate relationship for her.

Both? You don't mention what SHE wants at all. You hope it makes her feel attractive and set the mood. Does it make her feel attractive? Or does it make you attracted to her? These are different things. You are still not considering what she wants here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has this ever been a problem in a relationship for you?

Anyone that says they don't at least watch it occasionally, is a liar.

There are whole communities dedicated to abstaining. So no. Just because you do meth doesn’t mean everyone does.

Most of which are No FAP communities started by male "coaches" targeting young male incels as a way to make them not feel as bad about themselves.

It's part of the grift. Invent a problem and then sell the solution.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Married man here. Not one of the lucky ones. I’m the higher libido spouse who maybe has intimacy twice a month (maybe). So watching it every so often is can be relief. Nothing crazy and it doesn’t interfere. Likely not aware though.

Also, my wife isn’t comfortable with much more than missionary. So interest on spicing it up with a toy, new position, etc. I should add that she has never had an O. And doesn’t care.

Of course it’s not realistic. However, by watching it, I get to see what that looks like while getting a release.

Thank you for pointing out another systemic issue. Porn has fried your brain so much that you have no idea how to please a REAL LIFE person. “Oh if I just keep jack hammering her cervix she’ll c*m in no time”. No sir, it does not work like that. Maybe stop watching porn and start watching your wife. Learn HER body and learn how to please HER. I bet you’d both be happier.

Do you honestly think your wife has no interest in sex? When you’d rather give your attention to “characters” in a movie? Like I don’t understand why men don’t see this. If sex was actually enjoyable for her, with a partner that put her wants and desires first, you would not be having this conversation. But no, you’d rather leave your wife unsatisfied and restless and go jerk it to other women.

This is what most women prefer. And this differentiates a real man from a beta

Ha ha lol no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Married man here. Not one of the lucky ones. I’m the higher libido spouse who maybe has intimacy twice a month (maybe). So watching it every so often is can be relief. Nothing crazy and it doesn’t interfere. Likely not aware though.

Also, my wife isn’t comfortable with much more than missionary. So interest on spicing it up with a toy, new position, etc. I should add that she has never had an O. And doesn’t care.






Of course it’s not realistic. However, by watching it, I get to see what that looks like while getting a release.

Ooof. Not much you can do with a starfish. And the fact that she doesn’t care is the real problem. Sex simply is not, and will never be, important to her. The future is bleak, and you will have choices to make.

How do I distinguish between normal factors middle aged couples with kids that can possibly be addressed versus a fundamental mismatch that cannot be overcome. In others words, should I concede and consider other options? Do I even bother keeping trying? For example, by sexy lingerie?

Is there. a way subtly, or not so subtly, of testing her?

1.
Low libido
pre menopause
Busy with kids and work
Agrees being intimate is important
Old fashioned


Vs.

2.
Biological challenges with feeling pleasure (claims parts don’t work that way)
Asexual tendencies
Secretly want to try some kink or alternative relationship, but too ashamed to share
Other factors

Well does she like lingerie? Or are you buying that for yourself?

Both. Hoping to make her feel attractive and set the mood. I do my best to set the mood. Not looking to simply take care of myself and run off.

Of course, I like seeing her in it as wells

Bottom line, I’m seeking to find something that will spark or create and environment for a more fulling intimate relationship for her.

Both? You don't mention what SHE wants at all. You hope it makes her feel attractive and set the mood. Does it make her feel attractive? Or does it make you attracted to her? These are different things. You are still not considering what she wants here.

You're ignoring the very real likelihood that her wants do not and will not involve sex at all. There are plenty of women who, through no fault or lack of trying by their husbands, simply don't want to bother with sex. Hormones alone can be the explanation. There is nothing inherently wrong with this - it's perfectly normal for a woman to be wired this way; but it is a problem for the marriage - because mismatched libidos can really damage a relationship.

[Anonymous]

If her wants do not or will not involve sex at all, could there be other wants that are intimate or physical in nature?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If her wants do not or will not involve sex at all, could there be other wants that are intimate or physical in nature?

Anything is possible. But the likelihood is that, if her wants do not involve sex at all, he's not going to get lucky trying to hit a bank shot where he addresses the universe of other wants she might have and it somehow results in sexual desire on her part.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Married man here. Not one of the lucky ones. I’m the higher libido spouse who maybe has intimacy twice a month (maybe). So watching it every so often is can be relief. Nothing crazy and it doesn’t interfere. Likely not aware though.

Also, my wife isn’t comfortable with much more than missionary. So interest on spicing it up with a toy, new position, etc. I should add that she has never had an O. And doesn’t care.






Of course it’s not realistic. However, by watching it, I get to see what that looks like while getting a release.

Ooof. Not much you can do with a starfish. And the fact that she doesn’t care is the real problem. Sex simply is not, and will never be, important to her. The future is bleak, and you will have choices to make.

How do I distinguish between normal factors middle aged couples with kids that can possibly be addressed versus a fundamental mismatch that cannot be overcome. In others words, should I concede and consider other options? Do I even bother keeping trying? For example, by sexy lingerie?

Is there. a way subtly, or not so subtly, of testing her?

1.
Low libido
pre menopause
Busy with kids and work
Agrees being intimate is important
Old fashioned


Vs.

2.
Biological challenges with feeling pleasure (claims parts don’t work that way)
Asexual tendencies
Secretly want to try some kink or alternative relationship, but too ashamed to share
Other factors

Well does she like lingerie? Or are you buying that for yourself?

Both. Hoping to make her feel attractive and set the mood. I do my best to set the mood. Not looking to simply take care of myself and run off.

Of course, I like seeing her in it as wells

Bottom line, I’m seeking to find something that will spark or create and environment for a more fulling intimate relationship for her.

Both? You don't mention what SHE wants at all. You hope it makes her feel attractive and set the mood. Does it make her feel attractive? Or does it make you attracted to her? These are different things. You are still not considering what she wants here.

You're ignoring the very real likelihood that her wants do not and will not involve sex at all. There are plenty of women who, through no fault or lack of trying by their husbands, simply don't want to bother with sex. Hormones alone can be the explanation. There is nothing inherently wrong with this - it's perfectly normal for a woman to be wired this way; but it is a problem for the marriage - because mismatched libidos can really damage a relationship.

I'm simply trying to point out that he isn't considering her at all in this. Not every woman likes lingerie. Men buying lingerie for those women are not doing to get the women in the mood. They aren't doing it to make the woman feel sexier. They are doing it for their own eye candy. Which is totally fine, but if he's asking how to get his wife to have sex with him and the suggestion is focusing on her and he still can't do that? Kind of a problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Married man here. Not one of the lucky ones. I’m the higher libido spouse who maybe has intimacy twice a month (maybe). So watching it every so often is can be relief. Nothing crazy and it doesn’t interfere. Likely not aware though.

Also, my wife isn’t comfortable with much more than missionary. So interest on spicing it up with a toy, new position, etc. I should add that she has never had an O. And doesn’t care.






Of course it’s not realistic. However, by watching it, I get to see what that looks like while getting a release.

Ooof. Not much you can do with a starfish. And the fact that she doesn’t care is the real problem. Sex simply is not, and will never be, important to her. The future is bleak, and you will have choices to make.

How do I distinguish between normal factors middle aged couples with kids that can possibly be addressed versus a fundamental mismatch that cannot be overcome. In others words, should I concede and consider other options? Do I even bother keeping trying? For example, by sexy lingerie?

Is there. a way subtly, or not so subtly, of testing her?

1.
Low libido
pre menopause
Busy with kids and work
Agrees being intimate is important
Old fashioned


Vs.

2.
Biological challenges with feeling pleasure (claims parts don’t work that way)
Asexual tendencies
Secretly want to try some kink or alternative relationship, but too ashamed to share
Other factors

Well does she like lingerie? Or are you buying that for yourself?

Both. Hoping to make her feel attractive and set the mood. I do my best to set the mood. Not looking to simply take care of myself and run off.

Of course, I like seeing her in it as wells

Bottom line, I’m seeking to find something that will spark or create and environment for a more fulling intimate relationship for her.

Both? You don't mention what SHE wants at all. You hope it makes her feel attractive and set the mood. Does it make her feel attractive? Or does it make you attracted to her? These are different things. You are still not considering what she wants here.

You're ignoring the very real likelihood that her wants do not and will not involve sex at all. There are plenty of women who, through no fault or lack of trying by their husbands, simply don't want to bother with sex. Hormones alone can be the explanation. There is nothing inherently wrong with this - it's perfectly normal for a woman to be wired this way; but it is a problem for the marriage - because mismatched libidos can really damage a relationship.

I'm simply trying to point out that he isn't considering her at all in this. Not every woman likes lingerie. Men buying lingerie for those women are not doing to get the women in the mood. They aren't doing it to make the woman feel sexier. They are doing it for their own eye candy. Which is totally fine, but if he's asking how to get his wife to have sex with him and the suggestion is focusing on her and he still can't do that? Kind of a problem.

Sounds like she's not communicating anything she likes other than that she doesn't care. Hard to place the blame on him for her not caring to put effort in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Married man here. Not one of the lucky ones. I’m the higher libido spouse who maybe has intimacy twice a month (maybe). So watching it every so often is can be relief. Nothing crazy and it doesn’t interfere. Likely not aware though.

Also, my wife isn’t comfortable with much more than missionary. So interest on spicing it up with a toy, new position, etc. I should add that she has never had an O. And doesn’t care.






Of course it’s not realistic. However, by watching it, I get to see what that looks like while getting a release.

Ooof. Not much you can do with a starfish. And the fact that she doesn’t care is the real problem. Sex simply is not, and will never be, important to her. The future is bleak, and you will have choices to make.

How do I distinguish between normal factors middle aged couples with kids that can possibly be addressed versus a fundamental mismatch that cannot be overcome. In others words, should I concede and consider other options? Do I even bother keeping trying? For example, by sexy lingerie?

Is there. a way subtly, or not so subtly, of testing her?

1.
Low libido
pre menopause
Busy with kids and work
Agrees being intimate is important
Old fashioned


Vs.

2.
Biological challenges with feeling pleasure (claims parts don’t work that way)
Asexual tendencies
Secretly want to try some kink or alternative relationship, but too ashamed to share
Other factors

Well does she like lingerie? Or are you buying that for yourself?

Both. Hoping to make her feel attractive and set the mood. I do my best to set the mood. Not looking to simply take care of myself and run off.

Of course, I like seeing her in it as wells

Bottom line, I’m seeking to find something that will spark or create and environment for a more fulling intimate relationship for her.

Both? You don't mention what SHE wants at all. You hope it makes her feel attractive and set the mood. Does it make her feel attractive? Or does it make you attracted to her? These are different things. You are still not considering what she wants here.

You're ignoring the very real likelihood that her wants do not and will not involve sex at all. There are plenty of women who, through no fault or lack of trying by their husbands, simply don't want to bother with sex. Hormones alone can be the explanation. There is nothing inherently wrong with this - it's perfectly normal for a woman to be wired this way; but it is a problem for the marriage - because mismatched libidos can really damage a relationship.

I'm simply trying to point out that he isn't considering her at all in this. Not every woman likes lingerie. Men buying lingerie for those women are not doing to get the women in the mood. They aren't doing it to make the woman feel sexier. They are doing it for their own eye candy. Which is totally fine, but if he's asking how to get his wife to have sex with him and the suggestion is focusing on her and he still can't do that? Kind of a problem.

Sounds like she's not communicating anything she likes other than that she doesn't care. Hard to place the blame on him for her not caring to put effort in.

+1. If she was saying she liked massages to get in the mood but he was buying her lingerie, I'd agree that he was being selfish, lazy and/or oblivious. But, in the absence of any communication by her as to what (if anything) gets her in the mood, it's tough to blame him too much.

I don't want to blame her either. From OP's descriptions, it sounds like she's just not a very sexual person. That's not abnormal. But it does make the future of the marriage kind of questionable.

[Anonymous]

He mentioned that they’re busy with work and raising kids. Perhaps that’s a factor.

What is normal drive/interest for a wife under similar circumstances is the real question. If it’s abnormal not to [fill in the blank], I would agree it’s bleak. But I have no idea what he should expect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Married man here. Not one of the lucky ones. I’m the higher libido spouse who maybe has intimacy twice a month (maybe). So watching it every so often is can be relief. Nothing crazy and it doesn’t interfere. Likely not aware though.

Also, my wife isn’t comfortable with much more than missionary. So interest on spicing it up with a toy, new position, etc. I should add that she has never had an O. And doesn’t care.

Of course it’s not realistic. However, by watching it, I get to see what that looks like while getting a release.

Thank you for pointing out another systemic issue. Porn has fried your brain so much that you have no idea how to please a REAL LIFE person. “Oh if I just keep jack hammering her cervix she’ll c*m in no time”. No sir, it does not work like that. Maybe stop watching porn and start watching your wife. Learn HER body and learn how to please HER. I bet you’d both be happier.

Do you honestly think your wife has no interest in sex? When you’d rather give your attention to “characters” in a movie? Like I don’t understand why men don’t see this. If sex was actually enjoyable for her, with a partner that put her wants and desires first, you would not be having this conversation. But no, you’d rather leave your wife unsatisfied and restless and go jerk it to other women.

This is what most women prefer. And this differentiates a real man from a beta

Ha ha lol no.

Soon their will be a gorgeous, soft, loving, and willing humanoid in every house

Can’t wait

If women did not have vaginas no man would marry them

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men can learn from porn, but mostly lesbian porn. There is some hetero porn that can be helpful but it's harder to find.

Reddit: r/chickflixx

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Married man here. Not one of the lucky ones. I’m the higher libido spouse who maybe has intimacy twice a month (maybe). So watching it every so often is can be relief. Nothing crazy and it doesn’t interfere. Likely not aware though.

Also, my wife isn’t comfortable with much more than missionary. So interest on spicing it up with a toy, new position, etc. I should add that she has never had an O. And doesn’t care.

Of course it’s not realistic. However, by watching it, I get to see what that looks like while getting a release.

Thank you for pointing out another systemic issue. Porn has fried your brain so much that you have no idea how to please a REAL LIFE person. “Oh if I just keep jack hammering her cervix she’ll c*m in no time”. No sir, it does not work like that. Maybe stop watching porn and start watching your wife. Learn HER body and learn how to please HER. I bet you’d both be happier.

Do you honestly think your wife has no interest in sex? When you’d rather give your attention to “characters” in a movie? Like I don’t understand why men don’t see this. If sex was actually enjoyable for her, with a partner that put her wants and desires first, you would not be having this conversation. But no, you’d rather leave your wife unsatisfied and restless and go jerk it to other women.

This is what most women prefer. And this differentiates a real man from a beta

Ha ha lol no.

Soon their will be a gorgeous, soft, loving, and willing humanoid in every house

Can’t wait

If women did not have vaginas no man would marry them

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