Bringing toddler to lunch with friends

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did this all the time when my kid was that age. Of course I'd always let the friend know and say "if you'd rather have lunch just us that's fine, I just might have to reschedule." But most of my friends wanted to see the baby.

I would not do this with a really active kid though. Mine wasn't walking at 12 months and was usually happy in a carrier or my lap. And by 18 months I didn't do it because I didn't want to -- too much work for me. But between like 4 and 14 months, yes I did this all the time.

This is the correct answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women are expected to work like they don’t have kids and raise kids like they don’t work. Now we’re expected to maintain friendships as if we don’t have kids? Hard pass. Moms don’t need that kind of pressure, and if you can’t understand kids are part of the picture for a few years, no need to continue the friendship.

Everyone knows this. OP got a pity invite because her friends didn’t want to drop her, but they don’t expect her to show up with the toddler to their group lunch. They politely ask just to keep her in the loop and her job is to politely decline and eventually everyone will move on.

If friendship is equivalent to putting on airs and feigning your version of politeness, this just seems sad.

For all of you who don’t want your friends to bring their kids, have you considered just making your invite clear of that intention rather than completely dropping your friend when they bring their kid????

An invitation is usually pretty clear. "Hey, do you want to grab lunch with me on friday?" How do you interpret this invitation to include your toddler child?

Uh, I know my friends' abilities/preferences to get sitters and generally I would assume they are bringing a toddler. But that's me and my friends. It is odd, though, the number of people who won't just TALK ABOUT IT if they don't know preferences.

Highlighted your issue.

You wouldn't bring your child to a bar, or your/husbands work event. You just choose to ignore the actual invite contents and do whatever you feel like.

Well, I've been to many many lunches with my friends where it is common for them to bring their toddlers. This is not abnormal for me. The "invite contents" are "do you want to get lunch". That speaks nothing about preferences for tolerances for children attending.

You are really needing to believe that your perception of things is the only one. I mean, go nuts.

Wow. Time to go back to elementary.

Maybe pp is one of those MAGAs who doesn’t understand pronouns

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women are expected to work like they don’t have kids and raise kids like they don’t work. Now we’re expected to maintain friendships as if we don’t have kids? Hard pass. Moms don’t need that kind of pressure, and if you can’t understand kids are part of the picture for a few years, no need to continue the friendship.

Everyone knows this. OP got a pity invite because her friends didn’t want to drop her, but they don’t expect her to show up with the toddler to their group lunch. They politely ask just to keep her in the loop and her job is to politely decline and eventually everyone will move on.

If friendship is equivalent to putting on airs and feigning your version of politeness, this just seems sad.

For all of you who don’t want your friends to bring their kids, have you considered just making your invite clear of that intention rather than completely dropping your friend when they bring their kid????

An invitation is usually pretty clear. "Hey, do you want to grab lunch with me on friday?" How do you interpret this invitation to include your toddler child?

Uh, I know my friends' abilities/preferences to get sitters and generally I would assume they are bringing a toddler. But that's me and my friends. It is odd, though, the number of people who won't just TALK ABOUT IT if they don't know preferences.

Highlighted your issue.

You wouldn't bring your child to a bar, or your/husbands work event. You just choose to ignore the actual invite contents and do whatever you feel like.

Well, I've been to many many lunches with my friends where it is common for them to bring their toddlers. This is not abnormal for me. The "invite contents" are "do you want to get lunch". That speaks nothing about preferences for tolerances for children attending.

You are really needing to believe that your perception of things is the only one. I mean, go nuts.

Wow. Time to go back to elementary.

Maybe pp is one of those MAGAs who doesn’t understand pronouns

strict semantic readings are probably a sign of an inflexible worldview and perhaps a low EQ

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women are expected to work like they don’t have kids and raise kids like they don’t work. Now we’re expected to maintain friendships as if we don’t have kids? Hard pass. Moms don’t need that kind of pressure, and if you can’t understand kids are part of the picture for a few years, no need to continue the friendship.

Everyone knows this. OP got a pity invite because her friends didn’t want to drop her, but they don’t expect her to show up with the toddler to their group lunch. They politely ask just to keep her in the loop and her job is to politely decline and eventually everyone will move on.

If friendship is equivalent to putting on airs and feigning your version of politeness, this just seems sad.

For all of you who don’t want your friends to bring their kids, have you considered just making your invite clear of that intention rather than completely dropping your friend when they bring their kid????

An invitation is usually pretty clear. "Hey, do you want to grab lunch with me on friday?" How do you interpret this invitation to include your toddler child?

Uh, I know my friends' abilities/preferences to get sitters and generally I would assume they are bringing a toddler. But that's me and my friends. It is odd, though, the number of people who won't just TALK ABOUT IT if they don't know preferences.

Highlighted your issue.

You wouldn't bring your child to a bar, or your/husbands work event. You just choose to ignore the actual invite contents and do whatever you feel like.

Well, I've been to many many lunches with my friends where it is common for them to bring their toddlers. This is not abnormal for me. The "invite contents" are "do you want to get lunch". That speaks nothing about preferences for tolerances for children attending.

You are really needing to believe that your perception of things is the only one. I mean, go nuts.

So if your boss asks YOU to complete a task, do you also ASSUME they meant someone else? If your boyfriend asks YOU to marry him do you assume he also means your neighbor?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women are expected to work like they don’t have kids and raise kids like they don’t work. Now we’re expected to maintain friendships as if we don’t have kids? Hard pass. Moms don’t need that kind of pressure, and if you can’t understand kids are part of the picture for a few years, no need to continue the friendship.

Everyone knows this. OP got a pity invite because her friends didn’t want to drop her, but they don’t expect her to show up with the toddler to their group lunch. They politely ask just to keep her in the loop and her job is to politely decline and eventually everyone will move on.

If friendship is equivalent to putting on airs and feigning your version of politeness, this just seems sad.

For all of you who don’t want your friends to bring their kids, have you considered just making your invite clear of that intention rather than completely dropping your friend when they bring their kid????

An invitation is usually pretty clear. "Hey, do you want to grab lunch with me on friday?" How do you interpret this invitation to include your toddler child?

Uh, I know my friends' abilities/preferences to get sitters and generally I would assume they are bringing a toddler. But that's me and my friends. It is odd, though, the number of people who won't just TALK ABOUT IT if they don't know preferences.

Highlighted your issue.

You wouldn't bring your child to a bar, or your/husbands work event. You just choose to ignore the actual invite contents and do whatever you feel like.

Well, I've been to many many lunches with my friends where it is common for them to bring their toddlers. This is not abnormal for me. The "invite contents" are "do you want to get lunch". That speaks nothing about preferences for tolerances for children attending.

You are really needing to believe that your perception of things is the only one. I mean, go nuts.

Wow. Time to go back to elementary.

Maybe pp is one of those MAGAs who doesn’t understand pronouns

strict semantic readings are probably a sign of an inflexible worldview and perhaps a low EQ

Just admit you don’t know what pronouns are and/or ignore what the invites say. Selfish and entitled at the core.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women are expected to work like they don’t have kids and raise kids like they don’t work. Now we’re expected to maintain friendships as if we don’t have kids? Hard pass. Moms don’t need that kind of pressure, and if you can’t understand kids are part of the picture for a few years, no need to continue the friendship.

Everyone knows this. OP got a pity invite because her friends didn’t want to drop her, but they don’t expect her to show up with the toddler to their group lunch. They politely ask just to keep her in the loop and her job is to politely decline and eventually everyone will move on.

If friendship is equivalent to putting on airs and feigning your version of politeness, this just seems sad.

For all of you who don’t want your friends to bring their kids, have you considered just making your invite clear of that intention rather than completely dropping your friend when they bring their kid????

An invitation is usually pretty clear. "Hey, do you want to grab lunch with me on friday?" How do you interpret this invitation to include your toddler child?

Uh, I know my friends' abilities/preferences to get sitters and generally I would assume they are bringing a toddler. But that's me and my friends. It is odd, though, the number of people who won't just TALK ABOUT IT if they don't know preferences.

Highlighted your issue.

You wouldn't bring your child to a bar, or your/husbands work event. You just choose to ignore the actual invite contents and do whatever you feel like.

Well, I've been to many many lunches with my friends where it is common for them to bring their toddlers. This is not abnormal for me. The "invite contents" are "do you want to get lunch". That speaks nothing about preferences for tolerances for children attending.

You are really needing to believe that your perception of things is the only one. I mean, go nuts.

Wow. Time to go back to elementary.

Maybe pp is one of those MAGAs who doesn’t understand pronouns

strict semantic readings are probably a sign of an inflexible worldview and perhaps a low EQ

Just admit you don’t know what pronouns are and/or ignore what the invites say. Selfish and entitled at the core.

lol hahahhahahhaaa

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women are expected to work like they don’t have kids and raise kids like they don’t work. Now we’re expected to maintain friendships as if we don’t have kids? Hard pass. Moms don’t need that kind of pressure, and if you can’t understand kids are part of the picture for a few years, no need to continue the friendship.

Everyone knows this. OP got a pity invite because her friends didn’t want to drop her, but they don’t expect her to show up with the toddler to their group lunch. They politely ask just to keep her in the loop and her job is to politely decline and eventually everyone will move on.

If friendship is equivalent to putting on airs and feigning your version of politeness, this just seems sad.

For all of you who don’t want your friends to bring their kids, have you considered just making your invite clear of that intention rather than completely dropping your friend when they bring their kid????

An invitation is usually pretty clear. "Hey, do you want to grab lunch with me on friday?" How do you interpret this invitation to include your toddler child?

Uh, I know my friends' abilities/preferences to get sitters and generally I would assume they are bringing a toddler. But that's me and my friends. It is odd, though, the number of people who won't just TALK ABOUT IT if they don't know preferences.

Highlighted your issue.

You wouldn't bring your child to a bar, or your/husbands work event. You just choose to ignore the actual invite contents and do whatever you feel like.

Well, I've been to many many lunches with my friends where it is common for them to bring their toddlers. This is not abnormal for me. The "invite contents" are "do you want to get lunch". That speaks nothing about preferences for tolerances for children attending.

You are really needing to believe that your perception of things is the only one. I mean, go nuts.

So if your boss asks YOU to complete a task, do you also ASSUME they meant someone else? If your boyfriend asks YOU to marry him do you assume he also means your neighbor?

"you" means you, but does not mean "you and only you." I could complete the task with the aid of others, if the context of my work made that normal. As such the work would have been completed by me but not by me and only me.

The context of expectations and friendship types differs across people and circumstances. I have imagination and therefore can understand that what is normal for one context may not be normal for another.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women are expected to work like they don’t have kids and raise kids like they don’t work. Now we’re expected to maintain friendships as if we don’t have kids? Hard pass. Moms don’t need that kind of pressure, and if you can’t understand kids are part of the picture for a few years, no need to continue the friendship.

Everyone knows this. OP got a pity invite because her friends didn’t want to drop her, but they don’t expect her to show up with the toddler to their group lunch. They politely ask just to keep her in the loop and her job is to politely decline and eventually everyone will move on.

If friendship is equivalent to putting on airs and feigning your version of politeness, this just seems sad.

For all of you who don’t want your friends to bring their kids, have you considered just making your invite clear of that intention rather than completely dropping your friend when they bring their kid????

An invitation is usually pretty clear. "Hey, do you want to grab lunch with me on friday?" How do you interpret this invitation to include your toddler child?

Uh, I know my friends' abilities/preferences to get sitters and generally I would assume they are bringing a toddler. But that's me and my friends. It is odd, though, the number of people who won't just TALK ABOUT IT if they don't know preferences.

Highlighted your issue.

You wouldn't bring your child to a bar, or your/husbands work event. You just choose to ignore the actual invite contents and do whatever you feel like.

Well, I've been to many many lunches with my friends where it is common for them to bring their toddlers. This is not abnormal for me. The "invite contents" are "do you want to get lunch". That speaks nothing about preferences for tolerances for children attending.

You are really needing to believe that your perception of things is the only one. I mean, go nuts.

So if your boss asks YOU to complete a task, do you also ASSUME they meant someone else? If your boyfriend asks YOU to marry him do you assume he also means your neighbor?

"you" means you, but does not mean "you and only you." I could complete the task with the aid of others, if the context of my work made that normal. As such the work would have been completed by me but not by me and only me.

The context of expectations and friendship types differs across people and circumstances. I have imagination and therefore can understand that what is normal for one context may not be normal for another.

Sounds about right, that you would not be able to complete a task without aid. Much like how understanding a simple invitation also eludes you.

[Anonymous]

Really depends on the friends and the type of relationship you have.

I was the first to have a baby. I had friends who came over to bring me food and hold baby so I could get a break. I took walks with childless friends.

I also have friends who I would meet up for brunch or spa on the weekends without kid(s).

I made almost all new friends once I had kids. We also moved to dc with a baby and toddler.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women are expected to work like they don’t have kids and raise kids like they don’t work. Now we’re expected to maintain friendships as if we don’t have kids? Hard pass. Moms don’t need that kind of pressure, and if you can’t understand kids are part of the picture for a few years, no need to continue the friendship.

Everyone knows this. OP got a pity invite because her friends didn’t want to drop her, but they don’t expect her to show up with the toddler to their group lunch. They politely ask just to keep her in the loop and her job is to politely decline and eventually everyone will move on.

If friendship is equivalent to putting on airs and feigning your version of politeness, this just seems sad.

For all of you who don’t want your friends to bring their kids, have you considered just making your invite clear of that intention rather than completely dropping your friend when they bring their kid????

An invitation is usually pretty clear. "Hey, do you want to grab lunch with me on friday?" How do you interpret this invitation to include your toddler child?

Uh, I know my friends' abilities/preferences to get sitters and generally I would assume they are bringing a toddler. But that's me and my friends. It is odd, though, the number of people who won't just TALK ABOUT IT if they don't know preferences.

Highlighted your issue.

You wouldn't bring your child to a bar, or your/husbands work event. You just choose to ignore the actual invite contents and do whatever you feel like.

Well, I've been to many many lunches with my friends where it is common for them to bring their toddlers. This is not abnormal for me. The "invite contents" are "do you want to get lunch". That speaks nothing about preferences for tolerances for children attending.

You are really needing to believe that your perception of things is the only one. I mean, go nuts.

So if your boss asks YOU to complete a task, do you also ASSUME they meant someone else? If your boyfriend asks YOU to marry him do you assume he also means your neighbor?

"you" means you, but does not mean "you and only you." I could complete the task with the aid of others, if the context of my work made that normal. As such the work would have been completed by me but not by me and only me.

The context of expectations and friendship types differs across people and circumstances. I have imagination and therefore can understand that what is normal for one context may not be normal for another.

As an invite it sure does. Do YOU want to grab lunch is not so you and your husband, you and your mom, you and your gaggle of children, etc. How do you get through life not understanding basic concepts like this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ladies, I’m not saying that men NEVER meet up with their male friends for lunch outside of work. Of course it happens. But not as much as women. It’s just not a thing. There ARE some differences between male and female social interactions you know. Stop getting all worked up over something so obvious.

Huh? Have you been in public lately? Time to get out of your mommys basement. Plenty of men have lunch with their male friends outside of work. Do you actually believe his doesn't happen?

DP. It’s rare. It’s why you’ve heard “ladies who lunch” and not “gentlemen who lunch.”

Really though this argument is a waste of time and distracting.

Ok Gradma! Calmmmm down

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ladies, I’m not saying that men NEVER meet up with their male friends for lunch outside of work. Of course it happens. But not as much as women. It’s just not a thing. There ARE some differences between male and female social interactions you know. Stop getting all worked up over something so obvious.

I never listen to anyone who begins their speech with "ladies."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ladies, I’m not saying that men NEVER meet up with their male friends for lunch outside of work. Of course it happens. But not as much as women. It’s just not a thing. There ARE some differences between male and female social interactions you know. Stop getting all worked up over something so obvious.

I never listen to anyone who begins their speech with "ladies."

Why does it always sound like Mansplaining 101

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ladies, I’m not saying that men NEVER meet up with their male friends for lunch outside of work. Of course it happens. But not as much as women. It’s just not a thing. There ARE some differences between male and female social interactions you know. Stop getting all worked up over something so obvious.

Huh? Have you been in public lately? Time to get out of your mommys basement. Plenty of men have lunch with their male friends outside of work. Do you actually believe his doesn't happen?

DP. It’s rare. It’s why you’ve heard “ladies who lunch” and not “gentlemen who lunch.”

Really though this argument is a waste of time and distracting.

oh FFS. "Ladies who lunch" is from the 1970's. Are you seriously trying to use that to say men don't have lunch with their friends? Grasping at straws or what.

+1

NP but my dad had regular lunches with a group of his friends (not co-workers) and my husband does the same. So do I for that matter. We both work full-time and we have two kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ladies, I’m not saying that men NEVER meet up with their male friends for lunch outside of work. Of course it happens. But not as much as women. It’s just not a thing. There ARE some differences between male and female social interactions you know. Stop getting all worked up over something so obvious.

Huh? Have you been in public lately? Time to get out of your mommys basement. Plenty of men have lunch with their male friends outside of work. Do you actually believe his doesn't happen?

Not really. It’s like how they don’t go on walks together. It’s out of fear they will be assumed to be gay.

Also considering many men can’t plan or manage a schedule, they are going to struggle to get friends together at a specific time and place.

This made me spit my water out. My husband definitely goes for walks with his guy friends (we all have dogs and it's an easy activity to do that doesn't require a shower afterwards and can therefore be done before or during work as a quick break) and I can guarantee you they're not all gay. What a weird way to live that this would be your assumption about men who walk together.