Bringing toddler to lunch with friends

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Any husbands have this issue?

They definitely aren't dragging kids to meet up with their friends ..

Husbands don’t go out to lunch with their guy friends. Nice try though.

Uh yes they do. Does having a penis mean they don't eat lunch?

I never said guys don’t eat lunch. I said guys don’t get together with their friends for lunch. They just don’t.

They do though. My husband works DT and if one of his friends is down there they will always message him if he wants to go to lunch. My BIL works PT and will go golfing and then lunch with his friends. Either you don't know men or you are a man with no friends. Other men do have lunch together on occasion. Odd you're trying to say that none of the 4 billion men in the world engage in this wild activity.

+1

I know tons of men who eat lunch with their friends. Or breakfast or dinner. Your husband must not have an friends. (Not PP's husband but PPP's husband)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ladies, I’m not saying that men NEVER meet up with their male friends for lunch outside of work. Of course it happens. But not as much as women. It’s just not a thing. There ARE some differences between male and female social interactions you know. Stop getting all worked up over something so obvious.

People are getting worked up because YOU ARE WRONG.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think people are overestimating how easy it is to find a sitter for a weekday lunch. If the mom stays home, I’d say she and child are a package deal until the child starts preschool and the mom can meet for coffee. Most SAHMs don’t want to pay a sitter to meet a friend for lunch. If mom works, obviously the child is in daycare or has another caregiver. If lunch is on the weekend, then mom goes solo while dad watches the child.

That's your choice then. My choice is to spend time with you when you actually GAF about spending time with me. So, kind of goes both ways.

Meh. Would you demand a friend use annual leave to meet you for lunch? A SAHM’s job is to care for her child during the work day. If you are rigid enough to demand a SAHM’s undivided attention during a midweek lunch and are unavailable on evenings or weekends (when the father could watch the child), then yeah, the friendship is over.

Oh, so you don't eat lunch during the workday? That's funny. I do. And sometimes I do it with friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Any husbands have this issue?

They definitely aren't dragging kids to meet up with their friends ..

Husbands don’t go out to lunch with their guy friends. Nice try though.

Uh yes they do. Does having a penis mean they don't eat lunch?

I never said guys don’t eat lunch. I said guys don’t get together with their friends for lunch. They just don’t.

They do though. My husband works DT and if one of his friends is down there they will always message him if he wants to go to lunch. My BIL works PT and will go golfing and then lunch with his friends. Either you don't know men or you are a man with no friends. Other men do have lunch together on occasion. Odd you're trying to say that none of the 4 billion men in the world engage in this wild activity.

+1

I know tons of men who eat lunch with their friends. Or breakfast or dinner. Your husband must not have an friends. (Not PP's husband but PPP's husband)

It's such clear projection by some guy terminally online. A homophobic terminally online incel with no friends =\

Like, there's a whole male loneliness epidemic, but you can't go for a walk with another man because - GAY. Self inflicted loneliness!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think people are overestimating how easy it is to find a sitter for a weekday lunch. If the mom stays home, I’d say she and child are a package deal until the child starts preschool and the mom can meet for coffee. Most SAHMs don’t want to pay a sitter to meet a friend for lunch. If mom works, obviously the child is in daycare or has another caregiver. If lunch is on the weekend, then mom goes solo while dad watches the child.

Ok. Most people don't want to go to an adult lunch with one toddler in attendance. That's your call as a SAHM to not find a way to socialize with people without your kid.

It's dependent on the situation.

There are times where it is extremely rude to bring kids along, especially younger kids under 10. Some people posting here are selfish and abusing their friendships.

There are other times where it is rude to not allow kids, and wanting to exclude a friend's kids is extremely rude.

Really depends. It's not 100% either way.

Please tell me these times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ladies, I’m not saying that men NEVER meet up with their male friends for lunch outside of work. Of course it happens. But not as much as women. It’s just not a thing. There ARE some differences between male and female social interactions you know. Stop getting all worked up over something so obvious.

Huh? Have you been in public lately? Time to get out of your mommys basement. Plenty of men have lunch with their male friends outside of work. Do you actually believe his doesn't happen?

Not really. It’s like how they don’t go on walks together. It’s out of fear they will be assumed to be gay.

Also considering many men can’t plan or manage a schedule, they are going to struggle to get friends together at a specific time and place.

This made me spit my water out. My husband definitely goes for walks with his guy friends (we all have dogs and it's an easy activity to do that doesn't require a shower afterwards and can therefore be done before or during work as a quick break) and I can guarantee you they're not all gay. What a weird way to live that this would be your assumption about men who walk together.

I’d question your husband’s sexuality. I live in a liberal suburb and have not once seen two straight men going on a walk together. There is even a recent meme that golf was invented so men can go on walks together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ladies, I’m not saying that men NEVER meet up with their male friends for lunch outside of work. Of course it happens. But not as much as women. It’s just not a thing. There ARE some differences between male and female social interactions you know. Stop getting all worked up over something so obvious.

Huh? Have you been in public lately? Time to get out of your mommys basement. Plenty of men have lunch with their male friends outside of work. Do you actually believe his doesn't happen?

Not really. It’s like how they don’t go on walks together. It’s out of fear they will be assumed to be gay.

Also considering many men can’t plan or manage a schedule, they are going to struggle to get friends together at a specific time and place.

This made me spit my water out. My husband definitely goes for walks with his guy friends (we all have dogs and it's an easy activity to do that doesn't require a shower afterwards and can therefore be done before or during work as a quick break) and I can guarantee you they're not all gay. What a weird way to live that this would be your assumption about men who walk together.

I’d question your husband’s sexuality. I live in a liberal suburb and have not once seen two straight men going on a walk together. There is even a recent meme that golf was invented so men can go on walks together.

Doesn't sound like you get out much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ladies, I’m not saying that men NEVER meet up with their male friends for lunch outside of work. Of course it happens. But not as much as women. It’s just not a thing. There ARE some differences between male and female social interactions you know. Stop getting all worked up over something so obvious.

Huh? Have you been in public lately? Time to get out of your mommys basement. Plenty of men have lunch with their male friends outside of work. Do you actually believe his doesn't happen?

Not really. It’s like how they don’t go on walks together. It’s out of fear they will be assumed to be gay.

Also considering many men can’t plan or manage a schedule, they are going to struggle to get friends together at a specific time and place.

This made me spit my water out. My husband definitely goes for walks with his guy friends (we all have dogs and it's an easy activity to do that doesn't require a shower afterwards and can therefore be done before or during work as a quick break) and I can guarantee you they're not all gay. What a weird way to live that this would be your assumption about men who walk together.

I’d question your husband’s sexuality. I live in a liberal suburb and have not once seen two straight men going on a walk together. There is even a recent meme that golf was invented so men can go on walks together.

Huh. My husband goes on walks with my dad when we are in town. You seem to live in a sheltered bubble making assumptions because you have so little contact with other people whether it be for walking, having lunch, or anything else for that matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think people are overestimating how easy it is to find a sitter for a weekday lunch. If the mom stays home, I’d say she and child are a package deal until the child starts preschool and the mom can meet for coffee. Most SAHMs don’t want to pay a sitter to meet a friend for lunch. If mom works, obviously the child is in daycare or has another caregiver. If lunch is on the weekend, then mom goes solo while dad watches the child.

Ok. Most people don't want to go to an adult lunch with one toddler in attendance. That's your call as a SAHM to not find a way to socialize with people without your kid.

It's dependent on the situation.

There are times where it is extremely rude to bring kids along, especially younger kids under 10. Some people posting here are selfish and abusing their friendships.

There are other times where it is rude to not allow kids, and wanting to exclude a friend's kids is extremely rude.

Really depends. It's not 100% either way.

Please tell me these times.

+1 Please share ..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think people are overestimating how easy it is to find a sitter for a weekday lunch. If the mom stays home, I’d say she and child are a package deal until the child starts preschool and the mom can meet for coffee. Most SAHMs don’t want to pay a sitter to meet a friend for lunch. If mom works, obviously the child is in daycare or has another caregiver. If lunch is on the weekend, then mom goes solo while dad watches the child.

Ok. Most people don't want to go to an adult lunch with one toddler in attendance. That's your call as a SAHM to not find a way to socialize with people without your kid.

It's dependent on the situation.

There are times where it is extremely rude to bring kids along, especially younger kids under 10. Some people posting here are selfish and abusing their friendships.

There are other times where it is rude to not allow kids, and wanting to exclude a friend's kids is extremely rude.

Really depends. It's not 100% either way.

Please tell me these times.

+1 Please share ..

Pretty sure the answer for this PP will be: weddings.

[Anonymous]

Generally speaking, women with toddlers tend to go out to lunch with other women more often than men with toddlers tend to go out to lunch with men. Especially during the work day, because men don't stay home with kids as much as women do and during the work day people don't have their toddlers with them.

This is not rocket science. It's just the way it is. It would be sexist to say that this is the way it should be. It's not sexist to acknowledge the fact that it's the way it currently IS. And it's weird for women to get so worked up about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women are expected to work like they don’t have kids and raise kids like they don’t work. Now we’re expected to maintain friendships as if we don’t have kids? Hard pass. Moms don’t need that kind of pressure, and if you can’t understand kids are part of the picture for a few years, no need to continue the friendship.

Everyone knows this. OP got a pity invite because her friends didn’t want to drop her, but they don’t expect her to show up with the toddler to their group lunch. They politely ask just to keep her in the loop and her job is to politely decline and eventually everyone will move on.

If friendship is equivalent to putting on airs and feigning your version of politeness, this just seems sad.

For all of you who don’t want your friends to bring their kids, have you considered just making your invite clear of that intention rather than completely dropping your friend when they bring their kid????

An invitation is usually pretty clear. "Hey, do you want to grab lunch with me on friday?" How do you interpret this invitation to include your toddler child?

Uh, I know my friends' abilities/preferences to get sitters and generally I would assume they are bringing a toddler. But that's me and my friends. It is odd, though, the number of people who won't just TALK ABOUT IT if they don't know preferences.

Highlighted your issue.

You wouldn't bring your child to a bar, or your/husbands work event. You just choose to ignore the actual invite contents and do whatever you feel like.

Well, I've been to many many lunches with my friends where it is common for them to bring their toddlers. This is not abnormal for me. The "invite contents" are "do you want to get lunch". That speaks nothing about preferences for tolerances for children attending.

You are really needing to believe that your perception of things is the only one. I mean, go nuts.

Do you really think this gives you carte blanche to bring anyone? Your baby, your boyfriend, your mother, your neighbor?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think people are overestimating how easy it is to find a sitter for a weekday lunch. If the mom stays home, I’d say she and child are a package deal until the child starts preschool and the mom can meet for coffee. Most SAHMs don’t want to pay a sitter to meet a friend for lunch. If mom works, obviously the child is in daycare or has another caregiver. If lunch is on the weekend, then mom goes solo while dad watches the child.

That's your choice then. My choice is to spend time with you when you actually GAF about spending time with me. So, kind of goes both ways.

Meh. Would you demand a friend use annual leave to meet you for lunch? A SAHM’s job is to care for her child during the work day. If you are rigid enough to demand a SAHM’s undivided attention during a midweek lunch and are unavailable on evenings or weekends (when the father could watch the child), then yeah, the friendship is over.

Oh, so you don't eat lunch during the workday? That's funny. I do. And sometimes I do it with friends.

Of course I do, but I do it while watching my children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ladies, I’m not saying that men NEVER meet up with their male friends for lunch outside of work. Of course it happens. But not as much as women. It’s just not a thing. There ARE some differences between male and female social interactions you know. Stop getting all worked up over something so obvious.

I never listen to anyone who begins their speech with "ladies."

Why does it always sound like Mansplaining 101

I actually think it's women who do it more often, and I hate it even more then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Generally speaking, women with toddlers tend to go out to lunch with other women more often than men with toddlers tend to go out to lunch with men. Especially during the work day, because men don't stay home with kids as much as women do and during the work day people don't have their toddlers with them.

This is not rocket science. It's just the way it is. It would be sexist to say that this is the way it should be. It's not sexist to acknowledge the fact that it's the way it currently IS. And it's weird for women to get so worked up about it.

Why are you still posting? We get it, you have no friends and no other men want to have lunch with you. Your refusal to look outside your homophobic incel bubble is keeping you lonely in your own prison.