Son marrying a woman with no career

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So confused
Are yall rich? Does he make good money?

She’s going to end up being a SHM anyway

What’s the problem?

probably concerned that she just sees him as a meal ticket

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a former private school teacher, now doing something else. I only took two years off to sah, but I have always been a very low earner. I'm also a frugal diy type of person, my job provides us with health insurance, and I have always been very helpful to my dh's career, managing all kid responsibilities so he was free to work long hours when he needed to to advance his career (he has much more flexibility now). My feeling is that income is only a part of finances for a couple. How you spend and how you save matter just as much. And of course that is only the financial part of a marriage. There is so much more to it.

You are right! Sitting on the back-end of our careers, you can look back and realize it's about partnership. In my marriage, I earned more before kids, then DH earned more but worked for himself. I'm not back to working full time and I provide HC for the family and he earns more. I do think its easier to "ramp up" your career later in life if you had some professional experience early on. But, women can enter the workforce in all sorts of interesting ways.

[Anonymous]

PP a few pages back and we don’t know, maybe future DIL is living on a trust fund or is getting significant financial assistance from her family or has her own investments and no college loans or all of the above. Maybe she’ll inherit a million dollars in a few years, like I did.

[Anonymous]

So much we don’t know about this couple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ah. This brings back memories. Of the BF's dad and stepmom who warned him that I was "a nobody" who was "beautiful but going nowhere." The bf was selling houses (new home sales, didn't even have a realtor's license) for context.

I was trying to figure out what to do in my late 20s and was modeling a tiny bit (I never got much work, but got some) and cocktail waitressing in a club on weekends. After he broke up with me I ended up going to law school, have had an amazing career, and made a lot of money. He's now divorced from a woman he met at a Pizza Hut and has had a string of long-term GFs since, none of them particularly impressive career-wise. I follow it on FB and laugh.

My niece has been modeling since toddler-hood and at 27 owns a house in LA. No college. Straight A's from private school K-12. Her mom (my gorgeous sister) paid for that schooling with her cocktail waitressing job in Vegas. She has 160 college credits, 3.8GPA while working full-time but no degree.

Some people have no clue there are imaginative ways of life to be successful.

Who's gonna tell her?

[Anonymous]

Good your future grandkids will be able to stay home with mom for a few years before starting school

[Anonymous]

Fine if she's a saver instead of a spender, and they get a prenup. I would not bring up the prenup more than once though.

[Anonymous]

Who knows. Who cares.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How would you feel about your son (who has a semi lucrative career but nothing crazy) marrying a woman who is college educated but makes close to minimum wage in her late 20’s? This is my son. She’s pretty and nice but has no career or money of her own. They’re both the same age.

Tell him to prepare to toil until he drops dead. She will stop working the remaining of his days the minute that pregnancy test pops positive. Probably demand 3-4 kids so "it would be too expensive to go back to work".

Her plan is man, which, in this case, is your son.

+1 I tell both my kids -- DS and DD-- that a man is not a plan.

I would seriously be worried for my DS in this situation. If the situation was reversed, everyone on here would call the underemployed man a bum.

-signed a mom

Wish someone would start a thread with DD with a lucrative career marrying a man making minimum wage to see the differences in response.

[Anonymous]

I find it amusing that people belittle being a mom.

[Anonymous]

OP I understand your concern. Our son will be our only child and we plan to set him up. I would be concerned if this was us, I know you mean well. We all want the best for our kids.

Marriage can be wonderful and tricky. I will educate my son on prenup and value of choosing the right partner. Rest is up to him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How would you feel about your son (who has a semi lucrative career but nothing crazy) marrying a woman who is college educated but makes close to minimum wage in her late 20’s? This is my son. She’s pretty and nice but has no career or money of her own. They’re both the same age.

Tell him to prepare to toil until he drops dead. She will stop working the remaining of his days the minute that pregnancy test pops positive. Probably demand 3-4 kids so "it would be too expensive to go back to work".

Her plan is man, which, in this case, is your son.

+1 I tell both my kids -- DS and DD-- that a man is not a plan.

I would seriously be worried for my DS in this situation. If the situation was reversed, everyone on here would call the underemployed man a bum.

-signed a mom

Wish someone would start a thread with DD with a lucrative career marrying a man making minimum wage to see the differences in response.

Yes. The poor men and all the double standards, discrimination, and judgment they are forced to endure over their lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always made less money than my husband, but I was a better investor, and always saved more (before we married and after). I have more money in my IRA accounts than he does.

It doesn't matter to me because we've been married for a while and we each have our strengths. MIL has no clue about our finances, but maybe she complains to her friends that I'm not her son's financial equal!

Having less money is one thing. Not having career goals to be able to stand on your own two feet is another.

Raising a family is a career.

+100
Loving children into responsible adults is a very meaningful and important career.

You need to look up what the word means.

I think raising a child is the most important role that one can take on.

It is not a career, however. And it is not a full time job for very long (unless you are really trying to milk it).

OT: I had 24 years between having first kid and sending final kid off to college. I'd call that a useful 24 years and yes it is full time, when you have a spouse who travels 1-2 weeks during the month and leaves for work at 7:30am and returns at 8pm.
So you do you and I'll do what works for our family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Is it money or career that bothers you?

My son's girlfriend is getting her PHD in art history. She said she would never make more than 50K in her life. I found it refreshing.

Possibly it’s just lack of any fire/ambition while young.

There are of course a number of Art History PhD’s that make more than $50k…my cousin who is a university professor is one. Not that they are getting filthy rich, but they now have tenure.

I get that jobs in Art History that pay a ton aren’t just sitting there…but it seems odd to aim low at so young.

Because maybe she doesn't want to be a professor?
Or maybe she simply prefers a specific area that she's an expert at and those don't pay more? Either way why should it bother anyone?

For your kids, as long as they are happy with their future spouse and the spouses ambitions (or lack of it) how does it matter to you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ah. This brings back memories. Of the BF's dad and stepmom who warned him that I was "a nobody" who was "beautiful but going nowhere." The bf was selling houses (new home sales, didn't even have a realtor's license) for context.

I was trying to figure out what to do in my late 20s and was modeling a tiny bit (I never got much work, but got some) and cocktail waitressing in a club on weekends. After he broke up with me I ended up going to law school, have had an amazing career, and made a lot of money. He's now divorced from a woman he met at a Pizza Hut and has had a string of long-term GFs since, none of them particularly impressive career-wise. I follow it on FB and laugh.

My niece has been modeling since toddler-hood and at 27 owns a house in LA. No college. Straight A's from private school K-12. Her mom (my gorgeous sister) paid for that schooling with her cocktail waitressing job in Vegas. She has 160 college credits, 3.8GPA while working full-time but no degree.

Some people have no clue there are imaginative ways of life to be successful.

I don’t understand the comment.

Everyone knows you can become a multi millionaire as an actor, but less than 1% achieve that status.

Same for musicians, models and other similar professions. College doesn’t help you in any way in these professions, so nobody cares about it.

I will comment that rarely do successful artists want their kids to pursue the same path with no college. Hence why Paltrow’s kids are in college…Affleck’s kids…etc.

They realize how hard a business it is and how unique a person you need to be successful.

How in the EFF do you know why these actors’ kids are in college?
Maybe they are pursuing a degree in the performing arts or molecular . We know you the hell do not know.
Small , unimaginative minds cannot fathom not being a hamster 🐹 n a wheel working a job you hate making someone else rich just do your life looks good on paper.
If people are paying their own way in life and doing it legally mind the business that pays you,
Coward.