What I’m noticing from millennial high achieving moms

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:End of gen x here (younger end) and I do think we are the last gen of the stay at home mom. With flex work it just makes no sense to minimize income that will affect kids financially down the line.

I admit that I’m jealous and wish my job allowed flex work. A lot of people don’t have that option in their line of work!

Switch your career. Flex is a godsend and I wouldn't go into a line of work that didn't allow for it.

Yes, 40-year old mom with kids depending on you. Just switch your career!! You’ll be guaranteed one of these flex jobs that grow on trees!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Born in 1985. One child, SAHM married into extreme wealth. No interest in working and not at all ashamed. Don’t use social media. Yes to marathon running.

Do you contribute ANYTHING to the world?

Our PTO and swim team are run by SAHMs. They are doing amazing high-quality work. PP could be contributing in a way you don't know.

[Anonymous]

Yall are so mean.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having a baby during the pandemic and being utterly alone with no support was traumatic. Not gonna go through that again.[/quote


Oh, dear. You couldn't cope with one infant! My mother coped quite well with three children under ,8 when my father was in Viet Nam. No extra help but she was organized and knew whining was counterproductive. Millennial women are the best educated, highest HHI, of all generations and are also the most helpless and laziest.

But look at how self-righteous and unkind at least one of her children ended up being. Perhaps if your mother had more breathing room she would have been able to raise someone compassionate who doesn’t deal with the chip on their shoulder by labeling and disparaging entire generations of women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:End of gen x here (younger end) and I do think we are the last gen of the stay at home mom. With flex work it just makes no sense to minimize income that will affect kids financially down the line.

I'm also young gen X but I know many older millennials that are SAHM. I think younger millennials do have better flexible work opportunities, or are more likely to just not have kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a mid age millennial born in 1990. I went to an Ivy with very high achieving woman and these are the trends I’m noticing as we start to become parents

1. Very few stay at home moms despite high earner spouses. I’m surprised by this because many of my friends assumed they’d stay home but I’m noticing most work full time in top but flexible jobs. This makes this combined incomes super high (dual doctors, big law/surgeon, finance/ engineers). I’m sure this will put SAHM mom / single earner families at a disadvantage going forward

2. More kids. Not sure if this is a status symbol or not but lots of 3 kids back to back (again while working big jobs)

3. Traveling alot despite 1 &2

4. Need to post about how amazing their family life is (with obligatory sentence about how sometimes it’s hard)

Anything I’m missing?

This is on point. 1989 millennial here, 3 kids, both parents working but we have some flexibility/sometimes wfh and have a nanny. I don’t personally post to sm but I’m definitely on instagram for the reels and I know the people you are talking about (what’s with the over the top birthday/holiday/anniversary essays as captions???)

I’ll add, still a big “girls trip” culture with women, especially, planning big trips with friends.

[Anonymous]

Op here my husband has tripled his salary and has taken full paternity leaves. Things are changing. I agree they the idea stay at home moms will be more rare going forward AMONG Ivy League/ high education women. While stay at home moms has increased its mostly among low income women. It’s decreased for the population is thread is about https://www.axios.com/2023/12/01/women-mothers-employment-rate-work#
Google summary:
“According to a 2014 Pew report, about 21% of college-educated mothers are stay-at-home moms, compared to 35% of high school graduates and 51% of mothers with less than a high school diploma. However, the share of college-educated mothers who don't work outside the home has decreased in recent years, especially for mothers of younger children. For example, a 2023 Washington Post analysis found that the percentage of college-educated mothers who are not working for family reasons has dropped from 35% in the early 2000s to 10%–15% today. In contrast, the share of college-educated women with children under 10 who are employed has increased from 69% in 2003 to 80% in 2023. “

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a mid age millennial born in 1990. I went to an Ivy with very high achieving woman and these are the trends I’m noticing as we start to become parents

1. Very few stay at home moms despite high earner spouses. I’m surprised by this because many of my friends assumed they’d stay home but I’m noticing most work full time in top but flexible jobs. This makes this combined incomes super high (dual doctors, big law/surgeon, finance/ engineers). I’m sure this will put SAHM mom / single earner families at a disadvantage going forward

2. More kids. Not sure if this is a status symbol or not but lots of 3 kids back to back (again while working big jobs)

3. Traveling alot despite 1 &2

4. Need to post about how amazing their family life is (with obligatory sentence about how sometimes it’s hard)

Anything I’m missing?

This is on point. 1989 millennial here, 3 kids, both parents working but we have some flexibility/sometimes wfh and have a nanny. I don’t personally post to sm but I’m definitely on instagram for the reels and I know the people you are talking about (what’s with the over the top birthday/holiday/anniversary essays as captions???)

I’ll add, still a big “girls trip” culture with women, especially, planning big trips with friends.

1987 millennial with three kids. Ivy undergrad, Ivy grad school and spouse who also want to an Ivy. HHI is over $900K. He was raised by high achieving, wealthy parents and I was not so a lot of what he takes for granted I don't. We live just outside NYC in the hedge fund capital of the US. My take on what the OP wrote:

1. This is mixed in my area. There are many hedge fund and finance moms as well as partners at law firms. What I find is that the SAHM are married to very high earners and their careers were never going to be that great even if they went to a great school undergrad. These moms were in PR, education, boutique search firms, etc. It's not that they are not educated but that they were not in high-earning careers to begin with... but there are also notable exceptions. I know a mom who went to Princeton and was a VP at an investment bank at a young age before leaving to be a SAHM. She's from the south and I think that may have something to do with it.

2. Yes. Three kids is a total status symbol and the norm around here if you are wealthy and high achieving. It's like 'look at how many balls I can juggle.'

3. Lots of travel. Summers in the Hamptons, Nantucket, KPT, etc. and now getting into some overseas travel.

4. Not as much posting as you would think. Posting a lot on social media looks really desperate. Not posting shows a level of contentment that is enviable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Born in 1985. One child, SAHM married into extreme wealth. No interest in working and not at all ashamed. Don’t use social media. Yes to marathon running.

Do you contribute ANYTHING to the world?

Our PTO and swim team are run by SAHMs. They are doing amazing high-quality work. PP could be contributing in a way you don't know.

Swim team. Wow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Born in 1985. One child, SAHM married into extreme wealth. No interest in working and not at all ashamed. Don’t use social media. Yes to marathon running.

Do you contribute ANYTHING to the world?

Our PTO and swim team are run by SAHMs. They are doing amazing high-quality work. PP could be contributing in a way you don't know.

Swim team. Wow.

lol major eye roll from me too. Our PTA is full of SAHMs who literally make up jobs that don’t need done so they can say they do something. No, the bake sale doesn’t need a 50 person planning committee with an 18 month runway. Simmer down, it’s no longer “for the kids”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Born in 1985. One child, SAHM married into extreme wealth. No interest in working and not at all ashamed. Don’t use social media. Yes to marathon running.

Do you contribute ANYTHING to the world?

Our PTO and swim team are run by SAHMs. They are doing amazing high-quality work. PP could be contributing in a way you don't know.

Swim team. Wow.

Tell us what you do? We may not think it adds anything to the world. It's a matter of opinion anyway.

I work but your attitude tells me things aren't going as swimmingly for you as you like to pretend on an anonymous board.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Born in 1985. One child, SAHM married into extreme wealth. No interest in working and not at all ashamed. Don’t use social media. Yes to marathon running.

Do you contribute ANYTHING to the world?

Our PTO and swim team are run by SAHMs. They are doing amazing high-quality work. PP could be contributing in a way you don't know.

Swim team. Wow.

lol major eye roll from me too. Our PTA is full of SAHMs who literally make up jobs that don’t need done so they can say they do something. No, the bake sale doesn’t need a 50 person planning committee with an 18 month runway. Simmer down, it’s no longer “for the kids”

What is this nonsense? Maybe you should try public schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:End of gen x here (younger end) and I do think we are the last gen of the stay at home mom. With flex work it just makes no sense to minimize income that will affect kids financially down the line.

I admit that I’m jealous and wish my job allowed flex work. A lot of people don’t have that option in their line of work!

Switch your career. Flex is a godsend and I wouldn't go into a line of work that didn't allow for it.

Yes, 40-year old mom with kids depending on you. Just switch your career!! You’ll be guaranteed one of these flex jobs that grow on trees!

I know, right? I’m a 48 year old neuropsychologist with 2 children. Can I do my job from home or change my career easily?

[Anonymous]

Interesting convo. Oldest of the millennials here. Wife has been a SAHM to 3 kids for well over a decade. She worked for a F100 in management when she stepped away. If she’d stayed on track she’d make about 20-25% of what I make today. The money would be nice. But she was upfront with me from day 1 about wanting to SAHM.

Perhaps there is an assortment issue here. Overwhelming majority of our circle are in our boat with a SAHM. Of the few that do work, it is typically in a scaled back, flex role. The only exception is a mom of four in a big fed atty job and she makes about 10-15% of what her husband makes. So, not needed financially, but she likes to work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Like attracts like, people. Such high-achievers, whether men or women, are not the norm. You are perhaps most likely to run across them in educated and wealthy areas, of course, but if you're so intelligent, surely you understand that you belong to a rarified strata of society?

I agree about like attracts like. The OP has a group of friends who are all very similar. At the same time as her friends are working day and night to keep up materially, there are at-home super moms out there who had no intention of working full time when their children were born. That’s my “cohort”. We occasionally travel together, we take our kids to do things they wouldn’t be able to do if we worked. We carpool in the summer when a lot of our kids go to arts camp. We live our lives in a way that feminists scoffed at. OP and her friends decided to work and have children which is not unusual.

Looks like the OP is trying to make “high achieving millennials” happen as if it’s some new phenomenon.

Umm... I don't know only SAHMs, except high school acquaintances who went to state schools. OP is talking about the generations of women born around 1990 who went to elite schools. Pretty much all of us are working. And those of us who are non-religoous never dreamed about staying at home.

The OP is stereotyping a large group of women from all over the country and world based on her small group who live in a specific area of the country.

You wrote “Pretty much all of us are working”. Who is this “us”? You can’t be stupid enough to think that since the very few women you know from elite schools represents all women from elite schools. You’ve also managed, in your stupidity, to separate religious women and put them in their own little box. They aren’t like the rest of women.

And you might want to lose the “Umm….” at the beginning of your sentence. It makes you sound stupid.

Truth