DD wants the big bedroom, but I don’t want to give it to her & DH not backing me up

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who are you a-holes being so mean to OP? I think her plan makes sense and I would absolutely not indulge my 9 year old child (boy or girl). Plus she says she'll put in girly fancy stuff into her child's smaller room. Your girl gets to design her dream room, tell her you'll do whatever she wants, she'll get over not having the big room SO quickly once you paint her walls the color she wants, put in shelving she wants, bedding she wants, etc...

So isn't that indulging your daughter, OP?

I'm not OP. And it's indulging her, but OP needs to use the larger room for other purposes - she said a guest bed would not fit in one of the smaller rooms, for example. She wants the kids to have a playroom/multi-purpsoe room. I truly thought most people would agree with OP that her daughter doesn't need to have the large room, I was so surprised to hear all these people saying "screw practicality, spoil your sweet sweet baby and give her the big room".

I am confident that if it was the boy that wanted a bigger, boy-themed room, OR if OP hadn't mentioned the room was already decorated in a girly manner, NONE of you would say "give it to the child". Bunch of weirdos on today.

Either that or you're all just so rich and have such huge houses that you can't even fathom having to make a decision like this for practical reasons because you have so much extra space and giant rooms in your own house.

A guest bed wouldn’t FIT in the room Op wants to give the kid? OP that’s insane to think you can fit a bed, dresser, desk, toys, etc in a bedroom that won’t fit a double bed

If OP makes the larger room into a playroom, then she doesn' need toys in her bedroom. Also, children don't need desks in their bedroom. My kids have rooms big enough to fit desks, but they do their homework in the dining room. You guys are acting like the bedroom is where the child is going to spend ALL of her waking hours. Some kids just use their bedrooms to sleep, get dressed, and maybe read a book. You don't need a ton of space for that.

I’m confused. Is the other room supposed to be a guest bedroom or a playroom?
If it’s supposed to be a guest bedroom, wouldn’t it make sense to set it up as a bedroom that her daughter vacates when guests come, rather than set it up as a playroom and then move a queen sized bed in it when guests come?

Also, do we really believe that a 5 year old boy and a tween girl are going to hang out together in a shared playroom? Or a 9 year old boy and a teen girl?
Realistically, that’s going to be his space. Even with a nugget.

[Anonymous]

Couldn’t the boy be given both of the two smaller rooms for himself and the girl have the big room? The boy could then have a separate play room which the OP could repurpose as a guest bedroom when required.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not worry about fairness. DD is five years older, she gets the bigger bedroom. When she goes to college DS will be 13 and he can move into the big bedroom then. That's how it worked in my family growing up anyway.

I wouldn't really worry about #2 either -- you say yourself she could sneak out just as easily from the other rooms. I agree with your DH this seems unnecessarily paranoid.

For #3, I think it depends on whether you really need the room for those other uses or not. Is it a big house that already has a lot of space for them to play, basement, family room, etc? Or is it a small house where maximizing every square foot matters?

+1 exactly my thoughts too

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who are you a-holes being so mean to OP? I think her plan makes sense and I would absolutely not indulge my 9 year old child (boy or girl). Plus she says she'll put in girly fancy stuff into her child's smaller room. Your girl gets to design her dream room, tell her you'll do whatever she wants, she'll get over not having the big room SO quickly once you paint her walls the color she wants, put in shelving she wants, bedding she wants, etc...

So isn't that indulging your daughter, OP?

I'm not OP. And it's indulging her, but OP needs to use the larger room for other purposes - she said a guest bed would not fit in one of the smaller rooms, for example. She wants the kids to have a playroom/multi-purpsoe room. I truly thought most people would agree with OP that her daughter doesn't need to have the large room, I was so surprised to hear all these people saying "screw practicality, spoil your sweet sweet baby and give her the big room".

I am confident that if it was the boy that wanted a bigger, boy-themed room, OR if OP hadn't mentioned the room was already decorated in a girly manner, NONE of you would say "give it to the child". Bunch of weirdos on today.

Either that or you're all just so rich and have such huge houses that you can't even fathom having to make a decision like this for practical reasons because you have so much extra space and giant rooms in your own house.

A guest bed wouldn’t FIT in the room Op wants to give the kid? OP that’s insane to think you can fit a bed, dresser, desk, toys, etc in a bedroom that won’t fit a double bed

If OP makes the larger room into a playroom, then she doesn' need toys in her bedroom. Also, children don't need desks in their bedroom. My kids have rooms big enough to fit desks, but they do their homework in the dining room. You guys are acting like the bedroom is where the child is going to spend ALL of her waking hours. Some kids just use their bedrooms to sleep, get dressed, and maybe read a book. You don't need a ton of space for that.

They will need a desk in their room by middle school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who are you a-holes being so mean to OP? I think her plan makes sense and I would absolutely not indulge my 9 year old child (boy or girl). Plus she says she'll put in girly fancy stuff into her child's smaller room. Your girl gets to design her dream room, tell her you'll do whatever she wants, she'll get over not having the big room SO quickly once you paint her walls the color she wants, put in shelving she wants, bedding she wants, etc...

So isn't that indulging your daughter, OP?

I'm not OP. And it's indulging her, but OP needs to use the larger room for other purposes - she said a guest bed would not fit in one of the smaller rooms, for example. She wants the kids to have a playroom/multi-purpsoe room. I truly thought most people would agree with OP that her daughter doesn't need to have the large room, I was so surprised to hear all these people saying "screw practicality, spoil your sweet sweet baby and give her the big room".

I am confident that if it was the boy that wanted a bigger, boy-themed room, OR if OP hadn't mentioned the room was already decorated in a girly manner, NONE of you would say "give it to the child". Bunch of weirdos on today.

Either that or you're all just so rich and have such huge houses that you can't even fathom having to make a decision like this for practical reasons because you have so much extra space and giant rooms in your own house.

A guest bed wouldn’t FIT in the room Op wants to give the kid? OP that’s insane to think you can fit a bed, dresser, desk, toys, etc in a bedroom that won’t fit a double bed

If OP makes the larger room into a playroom, then she doesn' need toys in her bedroom. Also, children don't need desks in their bedroom. My kids have rooms big enough to fit desks, but they do their homework in the dining room. You guys are acting like the bedroom is where the child is going to spend ALL of her waking hours. Some kids just use their bedrooms to sleep, get dressed, and maybe read a book. You don't need a ton of space for that.

They will need a desk in their room by middle school.

Mine have small rooms no desk. We have a desk in a common office with a gaming computer. No way I’d keep a computer in a kids room.

[Anonymous]

I will bet you anything if the daughter and son are given the equal-size bedrooms now, once the daughter goes off to college, the son will be given the big bedroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who are you a-holes being so mean to OP? I think her plan makes sense and I would absolutely not indulge my 9 year old child (boy or girl). Plus she says she'll put in girly fancy stuff into her child's smaller room. Your girl gets to design her dream room, tell her you'll do whatever she wants, she'll get over not having the big room SO quickly once you paint her walls the color she wants, put in shelving she wants, bedding she wants, etc...

So isn't that indulging your daughter, OP?

I'm not OP. And it's indulging her, but OP needs to use the larger room for other purposes - she said a guest bed would not fit in one of the smaller rooms, for example. She wants the kids to have a playroom/multi-purpsoe room. I truly thought most people would agree with OP that her daughter doesn't need to have the large room, I was so surprised to hear all these people saying "screw practicality, spoil your sweet sweet baby and give her the big room".

I am confident that if it was the boy that wanted a bigger, boy-themed room, OR if OP hadn't mentioned the room was already decorated in a girly manner, NONE of you would say "give it to the child". Bunch of weirdos on today.

Either that or you're all just so rich and have such huge houses that you can't even fathom having to make a decision like this for practical reasons because you have so much extra space and giant rooms in your own house.

A guest bed wouldn’t FIT in the room Op wants to give the kid? OP that’s insane to think you can fit a bed, dresser, desk, toys, etc in a bedroom that won’t fit a double bed

If OP makes the larger room into a playroom, then she doesn' need toys in her bedroom. Also, children don't need desks in their bedroom. My kids have rooms big enough to fit desks, but they do their homework in the dining room. You guys are acting like the bedroom is where the child is going to spend ALL of her waking hours. Some kids just use their bedrooms to sleep, get dressed, and maybe read a book. You don't need a ton of space for that.

They will need a desk in their room by middle school.

Mine have small rooms no desk. We have a desk in a common office with a gaming computer. No way I’d keep a computer in a kids room.

But where do they do their algebra or write papers?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We’re moving into a new house that has three children’s bedrooms. Two are identical to each other and okay in size, while the third is almost double the size. They all have built-in furniture, and the third bedroom is done in a very girly way. We have a DD9 and a DS4, and my DD9 is clamoring for the large, girly bedroom. I don’t want to give it to her for a variety of reasons -

1. Fairness. DS4 is little now, but he might get upset when he’s older that DD has a much bigger bedroom
2. Safety. The girly bedroom has its own door that goes to the driveway. Practically speaking, it’s not that much harder to sneak out of the house from one of the other bedrooms, but I think giving her this room is just asking for trouble in her teen years
3. Practical use. The girly bedroom is big enough to be used in other ways, such as a guest room or play room for when they have their friends over, whereas the two smaller ones are suitable only for being children’s bedrooms.

DH has agreed not to give DD the girly room now, but has told her that maybe she can have it when she’s older, which I’m not okay with for #2 above. He thinks I’m being unnecessarily paranoid in advance, whereas I think I’m being realistic. What does DCUM think, paranoid or realistic?

Also, I’m thinking that if I can get DH on board with not giving DD the girly bedroom, we should just rip out the girly built-ins, which is what makes the room so attractive to her, as much as I hate ripping out built-ins unnecessarily. WWYD?

Good lord. OP just seal the damn door!

[Anonymous]

Ugh. I would absolutely give the girl the girly room on the understanding she moves to the playroom for guests. Put a Murphy bed in the playroom. Boy gets small room and toys in other room.

Our guests have the largest non-master but we also have 4 other living areas including a huge basement playroom, so space was never an issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who are you a-holes being so mean to OP? I think her plan makes sense and I would absolutely not indulge my 9 year old child (boy or girl). Plus she says she'll put in girly fancy stuff into her child's smaller room. Your girl gets to design her dream room, tell her you'll do whatever she wants, she'll get over not having the big room SO quickly once you paint her walls the color she wants, put in shelving she wants, bedding she wants, etc...

So isn't that indulging your daughter, OP?

I'm not OP. And it's indulging her, but OP needs to use the larger room for other purposes - she said a guest bed would not fit in one of the smaller rooms, for example. She wants the kids to have a playroom/multi-purpsoe room. I truly thought most people would agree with OP that her daughter doesn't need to have the large room, I was so surprised to hear all these people saying "screw practicality, spoil your sweet sweet baby and give her the big room".

I am confident that if it was the boy that wanted a bigger, boy-themed room, OR if OP hadn't mentioned the room was already decorated in a girly manner, NONE of you would say "give it to the child". Bunch of weirdos on today.

Either that or you're all just so rich and have such huge houses that you can't even fathom having to make a decision like this for practical reasons because you have so much extra space and giant rooms in your own house.

A guest bed wouldn’t FIT in the room Op wants to give the kid? OP that’s insane to think you can fit a bed, dresser, desk, toys, etc in a bedroom that won’t fit a double bed

If OP makes the larger room into a playroom, then she doesn' need toys in her bedroom. Also, children don't need desks in their bedroom. My kids have rooms big enough to fit desks, but they do their homework in the dining room. You guys are acting like the bedroom is where the child is going to spend ALL of her waking hours. Some kids just use their bedrooms to sleep, get dressed, and maybe read a book. You don't need a ton of space for that.

They will need a desk in their room by middle school.

No they won't.

[Anonymous]

I’m just here again to say I hate the DS, DD, DH shorthand. Can we stop this, please??? It’s sooooooo grating and 1998. Quit. Please.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I knew a family who put the 2 boys in tiny rooms and the only daughter in a big room with a private bathroom, canopy bed, phone (she was in second grade) vanity with princess chair. The dad insisted. It was like the mom always had to compete with the daughter for Dad's affection. I was in 3rd grade and she was my best friend. Even then I thought it was super weird. Boys clearly didn't rate in that family.

Whereas in OP’s family, only the boy’s feelings matter and OP clearly does not like girls/her daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’re moving into a new house that has three children’s bedrooms. Two are identical to each other and okay in size, while the third is almost double the size. They all have built-in furniture, and the third bedroom is done in a very girly way. We have a DD9 and a DS4, and my DD9 is clamoring for the large, girly bedroom. I don’t want to give it to her for a variety of reasons -

1. Fairness. DS4 is little now, but he might get upset when he’s older that DD has a much bigger bedroom
2. Safety. The girly bedroom has its own door that goes to the driveway. Practically speaking, it’s not that much harder to sneak out of the house from one of the other bedrooms, but I think giving her this room is just asking for trouble in her teen years
3. Practical use. The girly bedroom is big enough to be used in other ways, such as a guest room or play room for when they have their friends over, whereas the two smaller ones are suitable only for being children’s bedrooms.

DH has agreed not to give DD the girly room now, but has told her that maybe she can have it when she’s older, which I’m not okay with for #2 above. He thinks I’m being unnecessarily paranoid in advance, whereas I think I’m being realistic. What does DCUM think, paranoid or realistic?

Also, I’m thinking that if I can get DH on board with not giving DD the girly bedroom, we should just rip out the girly built-ins, which is what makes the room so attractive to her, as much as I hate ripping out built-ins unnecessarily. WWYD?

Good lord. OP just seal the damn door!

+1.
And the fairness thing is silly. Being fair can mean that everyone gets what they want some of the time.
It doesn’t mean that everyone gets exactly equal everything all of the time.

[Anonymous]

We have only 2 kids room one is big while another is half size of the big room, and we gave the big room to 1st child (girl) and the much smaller on to 2nd child (boy). If we have 3 kids rooms we will still give the big girly room to DD and a small room to DC, and another small room for DS’s toys/things and use it for guest room when have guest. We won’t just keep a room for guest without using it, and I don’t feel comfortable to let guest use my DD’s room ( in the case if the guest is a male). For us we will just have guest use the basement rather than staying at 2nd floor with us. If concerned about kids safety just use safety camera and alarm plus lock for the door.

[Anonymous]

I’m down like the exiting on this one