37 single, want a baby, make about 95k a year

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't do it your own. Raising a child is not easy w/a partner, much more difficult without one. This is coming from a divorced mom of one.

Also, if you go are thinking of going the sperm donor route, please consider how the child will feel abt your choice to not raise a child with a father. The early years may be okay, but things could go real left for you once middle school and beyond hits.

PP here. I was a "married single mom." Don't assume marriage means help with kids. I am divorced with two kids. Parenting is no different than it was when I was married.

Listen, I don't doubt that you did 99% of the work in your family. However, it is worth at least like 30% just to have another adult around should you need to go to the doctor/ER, you are very sick with a stomach bug, one of a million emergencies that could happen with work/family/housing issues... And unless they don't work AT ALL, you are still getting more money which is used on the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am single, newly 37, want kids, never married. What advice would you give me?

Give up

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Use a sperm donor and do it on your own.

Signed,
Someone who married an awful person because I really wanted to have kids.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am single, newly 37, want kids, never married. What advice would you give me?

Give up

No need to give up but you do need to a) figure out why are aren’t partnered yet and fix that and b) be more serious about making more money in case you do wind up alone and want to have a baby. You are 100% NOT setup for that right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Try to find a partner with the same values and goals

This. Don’t take shortcuts. You can do this.

She is almost out of time
If she couldn’t find anyone until now why would she now?

They can adopt or use reproductive technology. The key is to try to have children grow up in a stable 2 parent household if possible

You are offering the woman to inflict significant physical discomfort on herself or let go of the hope to have a bio child? Hmmm

Get your meds straight.

Haha how many did you adopt despite being able to have bio kids? lol

How many single moms are you helping?

I am one myself

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Try to find a partner with the same values and goals

This. Don’t take shortcuts. You can do this.

She is almost out of time
If she couldn’t find anyone until now why would she now?

They can adopt or use reproductive technology. The key is to try to have children grow up in a stable 2 parent household if possible

You are offering the woman to inflict significant physical discomfort on herself or let go of the hope to have a bio child? Hmmm

Get your meds straight.

Haha how many did you adopt despite being able to have bio kids? lol

And the relevance to that question is what? What does that have to do with the topic?
Again, Get your meds straight.

So adopting is not for you but for some 37yo without a husband it’s ok?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, is it a baby that you specifically want or a child? I ask because a similarly situated friend of mine ended up fostering and then adopting her daughter. The baby years are the hardest in terms of care (babies obviously can't be left home alone), and they are very expensive generally out of necessity (i.e. diapers and childcare), whereas later years can be expensive by choice (i.e. private school, travel sports), but can also be more manageable by making different choices. I wish you luck with whatever you decide.

If I was OP I would adopt a 3 yo. Pre-k is free in DC; there are also almost free summer camps via dcpr and multiple sports to sign up via dcpr. Then enroll into a free public school. When her child is middle school aged, I would move to Montgomery county and pick a Magnet school . Pay for some tutorship for hard sciences to get into a good charter school. I also know poor families whose kids go to DC privates all on scholarships. Kids are strong in sports or had top grades when they applied.

I wouldn’t want to deal with a baby and uncertainty of having a child with SN/unpredictable when it’s your own child.

Also, OP might want only look into having a girl. Girls are more connected to parents through life, better chances of having grand kids, and they are less aggressive when teenagers. Adolescent sons often have the period of denial against their mothers

The uncertainty of dealing with an adopted child with who knows what trauma and genes though

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Try to find a partner with the same values and goals

This. Don’t take shortcuts. You can do this.

She is almost out of time
If she couldn’t find anyone until now why would she now?

They can adopt or use reproductive technology. The key is to try to have children grow up in a stable 2 parent household if possible

You are offering the woman to inflict significant physical discomfort on herself or let go of the hope to have a bio child? Hmmm

Get your meds straight.

Haha how many did you adopt despite being able to have bio kids? lol

None, I don’t need or want to, I have bio kids with a spouse. That’s the way it is.

Then why should this lady adopt?!

[Anonymous]

Kids are the cost of a 2nd mortgage. Do you have that? Plus the time and energy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Make an appointment with an IVF doctor, arrange for a sperm donor (anonymous) and immediately create embryos (don't just freeze your eggs.). At 37 literally every day matters. Do it immediately.

Curious, is it true that going through ivf can essentially put you through early menopause?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do it.ii was you 5 years ago. I let myself be talked out of it and be talked into trying to get a husband/ father.



5 years later no husband and no child and now at 42 it's too late.

How do you now it's too late? have you been checked? My GP and gyno told me I could have babies at 42 but don't wait too long. My GP mentioned her coworker just had a baby at 46.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Try to find a partner with the same values and goals

This. Don’t take shortcuts. You can do this.

She is almost out of time
If she couldn’t find anyone until now why would she now?

What age is the age she can't have kids?

Who wants to have a child at 40? 45? The first one and alone?
No thanks

That is you thought. I'm physically fit, highly energetic, and don't tire easy. I was a lazy fat woman in my 20's. I think I was slower then than now.

[Anonymous]

People in this thread are talking to a 37 year old woman who wants to be a mother like she’s 10 begging for a puppy. You’re gainfully employed and want a baby? Have the baby and you’ll figure it out. You’ll sincerely regret it if you don’t and really want a child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Until there is a generation of men raised to treat women as equals in the home and workplace and to participate equally in all aspects of child-rearing and home management, many women won't have a choice but to set out on their own.

I have one child where that may be possible but still they don't seem to have the same capacity that I do as a woman with multitasking and another one that will never get there in a lifetime. I try and I try but not all brains are built the same way and I daresay that a lot of women could not or are not interested in many jobs that men do. I dont think this is realistic. I do think more men could be taught to value parenting and marriage. Many men these days don't even value them to even start much less try to be on equal terms with a woman in the home.

[Anonymous]

Go to a professional matchmaker.