I’m really surprised at the number of people who bring siblings to parties

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I appreciate that this can be a real problem but the suggestion that siblings need to be completely banned from public settings is unhinged.

Can you quote who said siblings should be banned? Pretty much universally this is people taking a "siblings only" invite then RSVPing for 4 people. Weird that people are so incredulous that this has ever happened and arguing that the host must have forgotten to say "no siblings".

It's because the people who are mad have taken 8 pages to answer whether they wrote "no siblings" and torpedoed every suggestion for self-help along the way. It sounds like you can either talk to the parents who are doing this, or stop inviting their kids to the parties. Or you can plan a party that can accommodate people who just show up without extra expense. Or you can keep doing the same thing and venting on DCUM.

Or you can make it known that this is not cool on places like here. I don't know why you ASSumed people don't write no siblings. And even if they didn't, it doesn't make it ok to just bring 7 random people. I know you think you have all the answers and want the thread to end with your advice, but that's not how things work. Besides, OP wasn't asking for advice on this, she was pointing out that she is surprised people do this. A discussion ensued which really bothers you. Why are you so invested in this? Your participation isn't mandatory and feel free to keep scrolling.

Which is weird, because OP does this.

I do not do this. I do not bring siblings to parties. Once when my middle kid was in kindergarten, I took my 7yo and PAID for him. We did not join the kindergarten party. This was 7-8 years ago.

OP somehow you must have missed that apparently even paying for your kid’s sibling is unacceptable to these control-freaks you have unmasked with this thread. There were several pages of discussion about this exact scenario (paying for sibling at public venue and keeping them away from the party) and the consensus still seems be that this is abhorrent, unacceptably rude and entitled behavior! You should have taken the other kid to Target or something.

Because your kids invariably find themselves in the party room. Because the hovering mom needs to be there to cut the kids pizza or remove the cupcake wrapper. It's great if you can be in the public venue yet nobody else even knows you're there but that happens rarely and we all know it. But if you actually do what you say you're doing how would anyone know to complain?

No, this chip on your shoulder is bizarre. If it’s not a sibling being annoying for existing, it’s going to be a stranger who randomly showed up to play that day. If non-party kids being around are so triggering, you should be paying for a private venue and turning the plus ones away at the door. Good grief.

It's not bizarre, party crasher. You're a rude boor. Are you partying in the party or are you hiding in the public venue out of sight such that nobody knows you're there?

Lady, I have a very involved and available spouse and have never been in the position of needing to have an extra sibling around. I've never done this. I'm the person without a vested interest in this argument saying you sound unhinged.

NP. No. You are unhinged with no manners or social graces.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also as a twin mom i have to invite double the class because they are in different classes. Newsflash! Twins have birthdays on the same day! And kids are technically at a party of someone they aren’t necessarily friends with so parents are fine when my set of twins come together.

My kids who are friends with twins happen to be opposite sex twins so they had separate parties and did not attend twin friends’ parties.

My youngest has 4 sets of twins in her class. She is friends with 1 (girl or boy girl twins) and a boy with a boy twin. At her party, I invited the girl she is friends with but not the boy twin brother. I did invite the twin brothers as a set. I didn’t specify the other two twins. One twin mom only RSVPd for one child, the twin in the class and the other twin didn’t RSVP at all.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:My kids come as a set. They are close enough in age to go to same parties. Parents need to get over themselves and let kids be kids and play together. Im over all of these extra party rules. My kid / sibling has never been turned away FWIW.

I have 3 kids. I don’t know anyone who thinks kids come as a set, not even twin moms.

When kids are young and in preschool, hanging out with multiple kids is ok. When kids attend elementary and kids are drop off ages, it is not ok to send big siblings as a set.

Twin mom here. My girls are definitely a set. We should at least be exceptions to the rule. If both my girls cant go, im declining the invite. But it has never been a problem.

Yeah, no. Stop treating your children like a matched set and see them as individuals.

Are they allowed to be in different classes? Have different interests?

If you are not a twin mom, you are clueless and should not speak on twin mom decisions. We have it hard enough. You basically sound like a childfree person telling you how to parent. Clueless! Those that get it- get it.

Hahaha- delusional twin mom. I knew it. You guys think NO ONE has it harder than you.

We DO have it harder at certain stages sweetheart! Its twice the work. YOU are delusional to think otherwise. In addition to my twins, they have an older sibling so I know how it is to parent one age at a time. Again, unless you are twin mom, you have no clue. My SET of twins go to the party together.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:My kids come as a set. They are close enough in age to go to same parties. Parents need to get over themselves and let kids be kids and play together. Im over all of these extra party rules. My kid / sibling has never been turned away FWIW.

I have 3 kids. I don’t know anyone who thinks kids come as a set, not even twin moms.

When kids are young and in preschool, hanging out with multiple kids is ok. When kids attend elementary and kids are drop off ages, it is not ok to send big siblings as a set.

Twin mom here. My girls are definitely a set. We should at least be exceptions to the rule. If both my girls cant go, im declining the invite. But it has never been a problem.

Yeah, no. Stop treating your children like a matched set and see them as individuals.

Are they allowed to be in different classes? Have different interests?

If you are not a twin mom, you are clueless and should not speak on twin mom decisions. We have it hard enough. You basically sound like a childfree person telling you how to parent. Clueless! Those that get it- get it.

Hahaha- delusional twin mom. I knew it. You guys think NO ONE has it harder than you.

We DO have it harder at certain stages sweetheart! Its twice the work. YOU are delusional to think otherwise. In addition to my twins, they have an older sibling so I know how it is to parent one age at a time. Again, unless you are twin mom, you have no clue. My SET of twins go to the party together.

How old are your twins?

Ages 5-6? Fine.
Ages 7-8? Probably still fine.
9+? Not fine anymore.

[Anonymous]

If you ask to bring a sibling one year (or worse, just show up with one), I don’t invite you the next year. I’m not trying to punish the moms into learning. I realize my kid’s birthday party is no great prize! I’m trying to avoid the sibling problem by cutting out the offenders. I realized in preschool that it’s the same families over and over. No more.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:My kids come as a set. They are close enough in age to go to same parties. Parents need to get over themselves and let kids be kids and play together. Im over all of these extra party rules. My kid / sibling has never been turned away FWIW.

I have 3 kids. I don’t know anyone who thinks kids come as a set, not even twin moms.

When kids are young and in preschool, hanging out with multiple kids is ok. When kids attend elementary and kids are drop off ages, it is not ok to send big siblings as a set.

Twin mom here. My girls are definitely a set. We should at least be exceptions to the rule. If both my girls cant go, im declining the invite. But it has never been a problem.

Yeah, no. Stop treating your children like a matched set and see them as individuals.

Are they allowed to be in different classes? Have different interests?

If you are not a twin mom, you are clueless and should not speak on twin mom decisions. We have it hard enough. You basically sound like a childfree person telling you how to parent. Clueless! Those that get it- get it.

Hahaha- delusional twin mom. I knew it. You guys think NO ONE has it harder than you.

We DO have it harder at certain stages sweetheart! Its twice the work. YOU are delusional to think otherwise. In addition to my twins, they have an older sibling so I know how it is to parent one age at a time. Again, unless you are twin mom, you have no clue. My SET of twins go to the party together.

I’m not the PP you’re arguing with, but I think you’re missing the point. I don’t decide the guest list for my child’s birthday party based on who has it the hardest. I invite my child’s friends. If your family situation (or health or anything else) is too hard or too complicated to enable your child to attend, it’s completely ok for you to rsvp no. I understand that. We have had to rsvp to plenty of birthday parties.

[Anonymous]

My son was turning 4 and I was new to this party stuff in pre-school. She bought her son who was in his class and also brought her twins and they were begging for goody bags which were beyblades.

Later that year, she had a party for her son and I brought my 2 year old daughter and she said goody bags were only for the classmate, not the guest. What an Effing Biatch!

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:My kids come as a set. They are close enough in age to go to same parties. Parents need to get over themselves and let kids be kids and play together. Im over all of these extra party rules. My kid / sibling has never been turned away FWIW.

I have 3 kids. I don’t know anyone who thinks kids come as a set, not even twin moms.

When kids are young and in preschool, hanging out with multiple kids is ok. When kids attend elementary and kids are drop off ages, it is not ok to send big siblings as a set.

Twin mom here. My girls are definitely a set. We should at least be exceptions to the rule. If both my girls cant go, im declining the invite. But it has never been a problem.

Yeah, no. Stop treating your children like a matched set and see them as individuals.

Are they allowed to be in different classes? Have different interests?

If you are not a twin mom, you are clueless and should not speak on twin mom decisions. We have it hard enough. You basically sound like a childfree person telling you how to parent. Clueless! Those that get it- get it.

Hahaha- delusional twin mom. I knew it. You guys think NO ONE has it harder than you.

We DO have it harder at certain stages sweetheart! Its twice the work. YOU are delusional to think otherwise. In addition to my twins, they have an older sibling so I know how it is to parent one age at a time. Again, unless you are twin mom, you have no clue. My SET of twins go to the party together.

I’m not the PP you’re arguing with, but I think you’re missing the point. I don’t decide the guest list for my child’s birthday party based on who has it the hardest. I invite my child’s friends. If your family situation (or health or anything else) is too hard or too complicated to enable your child to attend, it’s completely ok for you to rsvp no. I understand that. We have had to rsvp to plenty of birthday parties.

My kids are older now but we used to have twin boy neighbors. We met the boys as a set. There was one boy who was friends with my son and we liked the kid a lot. The second twin was mean spirited and made everything difficult. He often made my younger son cry, broke things and just ruined the flow. I knew the twins came together and could not find a way to invite just one twin so we stopped inviting the twins over. We didn’t invite them to our parties.

I have two friends with twin boys. Both of them have one more social twin and one twin who struggles. My one friend tried to keep twins together as long as possible, put them in the same class, same teams hoping that the more social athletic twin could help the socially struggling twin. It only hurt the weaker twin’s self esteem. Now she focuses on each’s interests and realize they are individual people. One twin will always have more friends and be more social. The boys are now 10.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son was turning 4 and I was new to this party stuff in pre-school. She bought her son who was in his class and also brought her twins and they were begging for goody bags which were beyblades.

Later that year, she had a party for her son and I brought my 2 year old daughter and she said goody bags were only for the classmate, not the guest. What an Effing Biatch!

We know a family with 4 kids. They often come as a full family and bring all 4 kids to parties. I just saw the mom and she said she wanted to have a drop off party for her son’s birthday so parents and siblings don’t stay. I was surprised she felt this way because she brings the entire family to most parties.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I appreciate that this can be a real problem but the suggestion that siblings need to be completely banned from public settings is unhinged.

Can you quote who said siblings should be banned? Pretty much universally this is people taking a "siblings only" invite then RSVPing for 4 people. Weird that people are so incredulous that this has ever happened and arguing that the host must have forgotten to say "no siblings".

It's because the people who are mad have taken 8 pages to answer whether they wrote "no siblings" and torpedoed every suggestion for self-help along the way. It sounds like you can either talk to the parents who are doing this, or stop inviting their kids to the parties. Or you can plan a party that can accommodate people who just show up without extra expense. Or you can keep doing the same thing and venting on DCUM.

Or you can make it known that this is not cool on places like here. I don't know why you ASSumed people don't write no siblings. And even if they didn't, it doesn't make it ok to just bring 7 random people. I know you think you have all the answers and want the thread to end with your advice, but that's not how things work. Besides, OP wasn't asking for advice on this, she was pointing out that she is surprised people do this. A discussion ensued which really bothers you. Why are you so invested in this? Your participation isn't mandatory and feel free to keep scrolling.

Which is weird, because OP does this.

I do not do this. I do not bring siblings to parties. Once when my middle kid was in kindergarten, I took my 7yo and PAID for him. We did not join the kindergarten party. This was 7-8 years ago.

OP somehow you must have missed that apparently even paying for your kid’s sibling is unacceptable to these control-freaks you have unmasked with this thread. There were several pages of discussion about this exact scenario (paying for sibling at public venue and keeping them away from the party) and the consensus still seems be that this is abhorrent, unacceptably rude and entitled behavior! You should have taken the other kid to Target or something.

Because your kids invariably find themselves in the party room. Because the hovering mom needs to be there to cut the kids pizza or remove the cupcake wrapper. It's great if you can be in the public venue yet nobody else even knows you're there but that happens rarely and we all know it. But if you actually do what you say you're doing how would anyone know to complain?

No, this chip on your shoulder is bizarre. If it’s not a sibling being annoying for existing, it’s going to be a stranger who randomly showed up to play that day. If non-party kids being around are so triggering, you should be paying for a private venue and turning the plus ones away at the door. Good grief.

It's not bizarre, party crasher. You're a rude boor. Are you partying in the party or are you hiding in the public venue out of sight such that nobody knows you're there?

Lady, I have a very involved and available spouse and have never been in the position of needing to have an extra sibling around. I've never done this. I'm the person without a vested interest in this argument saying you sound unhinged.

NP. No. You are unhinged with no manners or social graces.

Really? I’m intrigued, what have I done with my three comments on this thread to have provoked new poster.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get what you all are saying because hey we are American and this is our culture. But take a look at yourselves and read back over some of these things. We are a totally individualistic non family oriented, non community oriented society. This is exactly why our society is so lonely. It is a much nicer weekend activity for our family to go to a party with kids of all ages, socialize a bit with other adults, have everyone together, build a community than to have one parent go for two hours with one sibling and then come back. And the comments about the siblings is just taking it too far - like there is no possible way a kid two years older could have fun at a kids party that is not their specific friend. Actually my kids know the siblings of their friends partly because of the parties (and school). Other cultures handle this in a much different way than we do and I can definitely see the positives in that.

I just had a party at a venue that cost $2000 for 30 kids. With food and goody bags, it was $3000. I invited the entire class plus a few friends. Every single kid in my child’s class has 2-3 siblings. My party was for 30 kids. The party room had a max limit.

Even if I wanted, I couldn’t just add the 2-3 siblings of each kid and both parents. By inviting the entire class, I could not accommodate siblings.

When my kids were younger, the classes were smaller and it absolutely was more a family affair. When an elementary kid has a friend party, you are no longer inviting your adult family friends. This is a different type of party.

I think any person who has actually held a party at a venue that costs per person can understand why siblings would not be invited.

We have money. Would an extra 1k have broken the bank for us? Of course not but we just didn’t have the space.

WTAF. What venue costs $2000 for a kid party?? Even if you invite 30 kids I don’t see how you get $2000. Our kid just had a party w 20 kids at sky zone and it was around $500. And $1000 for goody bags and food?! That is totally outrageous, I don’t care how wealthy you are…$3000 for a kids’ bday party is idiotic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get what you all are saying because hey we are American and this is our culture. But take a look at yourselves and read back over some of these things. We are a totally individualistic non family oriented, non community oriented society. This is exactly why our society is so lonely. It is a much nicer weekend activity for our family to go to a party with kids of all ages, socialize a bit with other adults, have everyone together, build a community than to have one parent go for two hours with one sibling and then come back. And the comments about the siblings is just taking it too far - like there is no possible way a kid two years older could have fun at a kids party that is not their specific friend. Actually my kids know the siblings of their friends partly because of the parties (and school). Other cultures handle this in a much different way than we do and I can definitely see the positives in that.

I just had a party at a venue that cost $2000 for 30 kids. With food and goody bags, it was $3000. I invited the entire class plus a few friends. Every single kid in my child’s class has 2-3 siblings. My party was for 30 kids. The party room had a max limit.

Even if I wanted, I couldn’t just add the 2-3 siblings of each kid and both parents. By inviting the entire class, I could not accommodate siblings.

When my kids were younger, the classes were smaller and it absolutely was more a family affair. When an elementary kid has a friend party, you are no longer inviting your adult family friends. This is a different type of party.

I think any person who has actually held a party at a venue that costs per person can understand why siblings would not be invited.

We have money. Would an extra 1k have broken the bank for us? Of course not but we just didn’t have the space.

WTAF. What venue costs $2000 for a kid party?? Even if you invite 30 kids I don’t see how you get $2000. Our kid just had a party w 20 kids at sky zone and it was around $500. And $1000 for goody bags and food?! That is totally outrageous, I don’t care how wealthy you are…$3000 for a kids’ bday party is idiotic.

Sorry I meant $600 but STILL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get what you all are saying because hey we are American and this is our culture. But take a look at yourselves and read back over some of these things. We are a totally individualistic non family oriented, non community oriented society. This is exactly why our society is so lonely. It is a much nicer weekend activity for our family to go to a party with kids of all ages, socialize a bit with other adults, have everyone together, build a community than to have one parent go for two hours with one sibling and then come back. And the comments about the siblings is just taking it too far - like there is no possible way a kid two years older could have fun at a kids party that is not their specific friend. Actually my kids know the siblings of their friends partly because of the parties (and school). Other cultures handle this in a much different way than we do and I can definitely see the positives in that.

I just had a party at a venue that cost $2000 for 30 kids. With food and goody bags, it was $3000. I invited the entire class plus a few friends. Every single kid in my child’s class has 2-3 siblings. My party was for 30 kids. The party room had a max limit.

Even if I wanted, I couldn’t just add the 2-3 siblings of each kid and both parents. By inviting the entire class, I could not accommodate siblings.

When my kids were younger, the classes were smaller and it absolutely was more a family affair. When an elementary kid has a friend party, you are no longer inviting your adult family friends. This is a different type of party.

I think any person who has actually held a party at a venue that costs per person can understand why siblings would not be invited.

We have money. Would an extra 1k have broken the bank for us? Of course not but we just didn’t have the space.

WTAF. What venue costs $2000 for a kid party?? Even if you invite 30 kids I don’t see how you get $2000. Our kid just had a party w 20 kids at sky zone and it was around $500. And $1000 for goody bags and food?! That is totally outrageous, I don’t care how wealthy you are…$3000 for a kids’ bday party is idiotic.

Sorry I meant $600 but STILL

I mentioned the costs so these people on here who think it is ok to bring the whole family and siblings realize it is rude to bring extra kids. Our party did cost us $3k. We hit the max of our party room with parents so we really couldn’t include siblings even if we wanted to.

We have a seven figure income and it isn’t about the money. It isn’t about paying for Johnny’s little brother. It is about 25 kids in the class who all have 2-3 siblings and we can’t accommodate all these extra people.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I appreciate that this can be a real problem but the suggestion that siblings need to be completely banned from public settings is unhinged.

Can you quote who said siblings should be banned? Pretty much universally this is people taking a "siblings only" invite then RSVPing for 4 people. Weird that people are so incredulous that this has ever happened and arguing that the host must have forgotten to say "no siblings".

It's because the people who are mad have taken 8 pages to answer whether they wrote "no siblings" and torpedoed every suggestion for self-help along the way. It sounds like you can either talk to the parents who are doing this, or stop inviting their kids to the parties. Or you can plan a party that can accommodate people who just show up without extra expense. Or you can keep doing the same thing and venting on DCUM.

Or you can make it known that this is not cool on places like here. I don't know why you ASSumed people don't write no siblings. And even if they didn't, it doesn't make it ok to just bring 7 random people. I know you think you have all the answers and want the thread to end with your advice, but that's not how things work. Besides, OP wasn't asking for advice on this, she was pointing out that she is surprised people do this. A discussion ensued which really bothers you. Why are you so invested in this? Your participation isn't mandatory and feel free to keep scrolling.

Which is weird, because OP does this.

I do not do this. I do not bring siblings to parties. Once when my middle kid was in kindergarten, I took my 7yo and PAID for him. We did not join the kindergarten party. This was 7-8 years ago.

OP somehow you must have missed that apparently even paying for your kid’s sibling is unacceptable to these control-freaks you have unmasked with this thread. There were several pages of discussion about this exact scenario (paying for sibling at public venue and keeping them away from the party) and the consensus still seems be that this is abhorrent, unacceptably rude and entitled behavior! You should have taken the other kid to Target or something.

Because your kids invariably find themselves in the party room. Because the hovering mom needs to be there to cut the kids pizza or remove the cupcake wrapper. It's great if you can be in the public venue yet nobody else even knows you're there but that happens rarely and we all know it. But if you actually do what you say you're doing how would anyone know to complain?

No, this chip on your shoulder is bizarre. If it’s not a sibling being annoying for existing, it’s going to be a stranger who randomly showed up to play that day. If non-party kids being around are so triggering, you should be paying for a private venue and turning the plus ones away at the door. Good grief.

It's not bizarre, party crasher. You're a rude boor. Are you partying in the party or are you hiding in the public venue out of sight such that nobody knows you're there?

Lady, I have a very involved and available spouse and have never been in the position of needing to have an extra sibling around. I've never done this. I'm the person without a vested interest in this argument saying you sound unhinged.

NP. No. You are unhinged with no manners or social graces.

Really? I’m intrigued, what have I done with my three comments on this thread to have provoked new poster.

Do you not get enough attention at home? You are super weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids come as a set. They are close enough in age to go to same parties. Parents need to get over themselves and let kids be kids and play together. Im over all of these extra party rules. My kid / sibling has never been turned away FWIW.

I have 3 kids. I don’t know anyone who thinks kids come as a set, not even twin moms.

When kids are young and in preschool, hanging out with multiple kids is ok. When kids attend elementary and kids are drop off ages, it is not ok to send big siblings as a set.

Twin mom here. My girls are definitely a set. We should at least be exceptions to the rule. If both my girls cant go, im declining the invite. But it has never been a problem.

Yeah, no. Stop treating your children like a matched set and see them as individuals.

Even if only one is invited? Does the uninvited party crasher bring a gift?

Are they allowed to be in different classes? Have different interests?

If you are not a twin mom, you are clueless and should not speak on twin mom decisions. We have it hard enough. You basically sound like a childfree person telling you how to parent. Clueless! Those that get it- get it.

Hahaha- delusional twin mom. I knew it. You guys think NO ONE has it harder than you.

We DO have it harder at certain stages sweetheart! Its twice the work. YOU are delusional to think otherwise. In addition to my twins, they have an older sibling so I know how it is to parent one age at a time. Again, unless you are twin mom, you have no clue. My SET of twins go to the party together.