I’m really surprised at the number of people who bring siblings to parties

[Anonymous]

Dropping off siblings without permission from the host/hostess is beyond rude, but i don't think as a guest its your place to judge whether siblings or family members attend you don't know what the discussions with the host were. When my kids were little we always had their parties at the park, pool etc.. and invited the whole family because I didn't want to watch 20 little kids myself. Rather the siblings if the parents stayed and dealt with their own child

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve brought siblings to Chuck E Cheese style parties a couple of times BUT I would never dream of asking the host family to have siblings join the party, let alone pay for them! I always pay for their entry and food and goodies and entertain them away from the actual party (and yes, it’s in cases where I do not have alternate childcare).

What does this have to do w you deciding to take your other (non invited) kids to a bday party venue? Why not just drop the invited kid off and go home w your other kids? Why do you need childcare at all? Wouldn’t you be taking care of your kids regardless of whether one is attending a party or not?

Because in this area quite often these parties are not in the neighborhood, and with the length of most kids parties plus driving time to/from/to we’d be spending most of the time in the car. No thanks. (Not sure why it would bother anyone in the least to bring a sibling as long as it’s not actually infringing on the actual party. I agree that it’s rude to have a sibling tag along to the party itself unless the host has specifically okay’d it.)

Don't you have a husband?

Some people don't have spouses. Some people have spouses who work weekends.

It's amazing how these same people never have friends or know their classmates and can coordinate carpools or switch off on looking after each other's kids at these parties. The only solution is always bringing little brother so he can have fun too. There's also nothing else ever to do near the party, must crash the party, it's the only way.

Very often either my spouse or I are on work travel on weekends. (Not unusual for this area.) And it is not amazing that we don’t have a network of family or friends to help us, as we are both adult transplants to the area who work a lot. (This is also not unusual for this area, but thanks for rubbing it in!)

And in my initial post I explicitly said that while I sometimes have little sibling tag along I never let sibling impose on the actual party.

You seem like you are looking for a reason to be angry.

That is absolutely NOT common in this area.

“Common” and “not unusual” are not actually synonyms. You should get off this board and start your day drinking early, methinks. The stress of being this outraged is unhealthy.

You're the one that's upset that you can't find a sitter for kids 2-5

I’m not upset, I just think you’re a psycho control freak

You are the rude one bringing an uninvited sibling to an elementary school party.

No one cares about your single mom status or if your husband is traveling. Just RSVP no if you can’t make arrangements for your other child. Or have another parent keep an eye on your child.

PP is not the control freak. You are the rude guest. I have never turned away a rude guest with sibling but I always thought you were rude.

Sibling or no sibling, there is zero chance I would want my kid attending your party lol. You…are miserable and your kids probably are too. If there was a venn diagram of kids raised by parents who need blood pressure medication because siblings come to a birthday party, and trouble-maker kids who become a**hole adults, there would 100-% be a perfect overlap.

Our kids’ parties and our adult parties are very well attended. You would also never know that I think you are rude for bringing siblings because I am a gracious host.

My oldest kid is in high school. We haven’t dealt with siblings for him for years. Right after Covid, we did have a paintball party and a mom asked if her high school kid could join. I said sure but inside I thought it was odd to bring a teenager to a middle school kid party. Teen ended up sitting in the car even though I gave permission for him to join.

Oh no lady, lol, we know. You just very much come off as poor (and *un*gracious).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve brought siblings to Chuck E Cheese style parties a couple of times BUT I would never dream of asking the host family to have siblings join the party, let alone pay for them! I always pay for their entry and food and goodies and entertain them away from the actual party (and yes, it’s in cases where I do not have alternate childcare).

What does this have to do w you deciding to take your other (non invited) kids to a bday party venue? Why not just drop the invited kid off and go home w your other kids? Why do you need childcare at all? Wouldn’t you be taking care of your kids regardless of whether one is attending a party or not?

Because in this area quite often these parties are not in the neighborhood, and with the length of most kids parties plus driving time to/from/to we’d be spending most of the time in the car. No thanks. (Not sure why it would bother anyone in the least to bring a sibling as long as it’s not actually infringing on the actual party. I agree that it’s rude to have a sibling tag along to the party itself unless the host has specifically okay’d it.)

Don't you have a husband?

Some people don't have spouses. Some people have spouses who work weekends.

It's amazing how these same people never have friends or know their classmates and can coordinate carpools or switch off on looking after each other's kids at these parties. The only solution is always bringing little brother so he can have fun too. There's also nothing else ever to do near the party, must crash the party, it's the only way.

Very often either my spouse or I are on work travel on weekends. (Not unusual for this area.) And it is not amazing that we don’t have a network of family or friends to help us, as we are both adult transplants to the area who work a lot. (This is also not unusual for this area, but thanks for rubbing it in!)

And in my initial post I explicitly said that while I sometimes have little sibling tag along I never let sibling impose on the actual party.

You seem like you are looking for a reason to be angry.

That is absolutely NOT common in this area.

“Common” and “not unusual” are not actually synonyms. You should get off this board and start your day drinking early, methinks. The stress of being this outraged is unhealthy.

You're the one that's upset that you can't find a sitter for kids 2-5

I’m not upset, I just think you’re a psycho control freak

You are the rude one bringing an uninvited sibling to an elementary school party.

No one cares about your single mom status or if your husband is traveling. Just RSVP no if you can’t make arrangements for your other child. Or have another parent keep an eye on your child.

PP is not the control freak. You are the rude guest. I have never turned away a rude guest with sibling but I always thought you were rude.

Sibling or no sibling, there is zero chance I would want my kid attending your party lol. You…are miserable and your kids probably are too. If there was a venn diagram of kids raised by parents who need blood pressure medication because siblings come to a birthday party, and trouble-maker kids who become a**hole adults, there would 100-% be a perfect overlap.

Our kids’ parties and our adult parties are very well attended. You would also never know that I think you are rude for bringing siblings because I am a gracious host.

My oldest kid is in high school. We haven’t dealt with siblings for him for years. Right after Covid, we did have a paintball party and a mom asked if her high school kid could join. I said sure but inside I thought it was odd to bring a teenager to a middle school kid party. Teen ended up sitting in the car even though I gave permission for him to join.

Oh no lady, lol, we know. You just very much come off as poor (and *un*gracious).

Actually we are rich.

I just vent online. I would never say this out loud.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve brought siblings to Chuck E Cheese style parties a couple of times BUT I would never dream of asking the host family to have siblings join the party, let alone pay for them! I always pay for their entry and food and goodies and entertain them away from the actual party (and yes, it’s in cases where I do not have alternate childcare).

I've done this in cases like a SkyZone when I had my other kids with me and dropping off was not feasible because the dang party was 30-40 minutes from my home.
Like the PP, though, I always pay for my other children separately, and do not seek to have them included in the birthday party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids come as a set. They are close enough in age to go to same parties. Parents need to get over themselves and let kids be kids and play together. Im over all of these extra party rules. My kid / sibling has never been turned away FWIW.

I have 3 kids. I don’t know anyone who thinks kids come as a set, not even twin moms.

When kids are young and in preschool, hanging out with multiple kids is ok. When kids attend elementary and kids are drop off ages, it is not ok to send big siblings as a set.

Twin mom here. My girls are definitely a set. We should at least be exceptions to the rule. If both my girls cant go, im declining the invite. But it has never been a problem.

Yeah, no. Stop treating your children like a matched set and see them as individuals.

Are they allowed to be in different classes? Have different interests?

If you are not a twin mom, you are clueless and should not speak on twin mom decisions. We have it hard enough. You basically sound like a childfree person telling you how to parent. Clueless! Those that get it- get it.

Hahaha- delusional twin mom. I knew it. You guys think NO ONE has it harder than you.

We DO have it harder at certain stages sweetheart! Its twice the work. YOU are delusional to think otherwise. In addition to my twins, they have an older sibling so I know how it is to parent one age at a time. Again, unless you are twin mom, you have no clue. My SET of twins go to the party together.

I look forward to when your SET of twins begin dating the same person. Because they come as a SET. Not weird at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids come as a set. They are close enough in age to go to same parties. Parents need to get over themselves and let kids be kids and play together. Im over all of these extra party rules. My kid / sibling has never been turned away FWIW.

I have 3 kids. I don’t know anyone who thinks kids come as a set, not even twin moms.

When kids are young and in preschool, hanging out with multiple kids is ok. When kids attend elementary and kids are drop off ages, it is not ok to send big siblings as a set.

Twin mom here. My girls are definitely a set. We should at least be exceptions to the rule. If both my girls cant go, im declining the invite. But it has never been a problem.

Yeah, no. Stop treating your children like a matched set and see them as individuals.

Are they allowed to be in different classes? Have different interests?

If you are not a twin mom, you are clueless and should not speak on twin mom decisions. We have it hard enough. You basically sound like a childfree person telling you how to parent. Clueless! Those that get it- get it.

Hahaha- delusional twin mom. I knew it. You guys think NO ONE has it harder than you.

We DO have it harder at certain stages sweetheart! Its twice the work. YOU are delusional to think otherwise. In addition to my twins, they have an older sibling so I know how it is to parent one age at a time. Again, unless you are twin mom, you have no clue. My SET of twins go to the party together.

I look forward to when your SET of twins begin dating the same person. Because they come as a SET. Not weird at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids come as a set. They are close enough in age to go to same parties. Parents need to get over themselves and let kids be kids and play together. Im over all of these extra party rules. My kid / sibling has never been turned away FWIW.

I have 3 kids. I don’t know anyone who thinks kids come as a set, not even twin moms.

When kids are young and in preschool, hanging out with multiple kids is ok. When kids attend elementary and kids are drop off ages, it is not ok to send big siblings as a set.

Twin mom here. My girls are definitely a set. We should at least be exceptions to the rule. If both my girls cant go, im declining the invite. But it has never been a problem.

Yeah, no. Stop treating your children like a matched set and see them as individuals.

Are they allowed to be in different classes? Have different interests?

If you are not a twin mom, you are clueless and should not speak on twin mom decisions. We have it hard enough. You basically sound like a childfree person telling you how to parent. Clueless! Those that get it- get it.

Hahaha- delusional twin mom. I knew it. You guys think NO ONE has it harder than you.

We DO have it harder at certain stages sweetheart! Its twice the work. YOU are delusional to think otherwise. In addition to my twins, they have an older sibling so I know how it is to parent one age at a time. Again, unless you are twin mom, you have no clue. My SET of twins go to the party together.

I look forward to when your SET of twins begin dating the same person. Because they come as a SET. Not weird at all.

another poster just asked how to ask if a sixth grade twin only could go to his best friend’s sleepover. Pp would say no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve brought siblings to Chuck E Cheese style parties a couple of times BUT I would never dream of asking the host family to have siblings join the party, let alone pay for them! I always pay for their entry and food and goodies and entertain them away from the actual party (and yes, it’s in cases where I do not have alternate childcare).

What does this have to do w you deciding to take your other (non invited) kids to a bday party venue? Why not just drop the invited kid off and go home w your other kids? Why do you need childcare at all? Wouldn’t you be taking care of your kids regardless of whether one is attending a party or not?

Because in this area quite often these parties are not in the neighborhood, and with the length of most kids parties plus driving time to/from/to we’d be spending most of the time in the car. No thanks. (Not sure why it would bother anyone in the least to bring a sibling as long as it’s not actually infringing on the actual party. I agree that it’s rude to have a sibling tag along to the party itself unless the host has specifically okay’d it.)

Don't you have a husband?

Some people don't have spouses. Some people have spouses who work weekends.

It's amazing how these same people never have friends or know their classmates and can coordinate carpools or switch off on looking after each other's kids at these parties. The only solution is always bringing little brother so he can have fun too. There's also nothing else ever to do near the party, must crash the party, it's the only way.

Very often either my spouse or I are on work travel on weekends. (Not unusual for this area.) And it is not amazing that we don’t have a network of family or friends to help us, as we are both adult transplants to the area who work a lot. (This is also not unusual for this area, but thanks for rubbing it in!)

And in my initial post I explicitly said that while I sometimes have little sibling tag along I never let sibling impose on the actual party.

You seem like you are looking for a reason to be angry.

That is absolutely NOT common in this area.

“Common” and “not unusual” are not actually synonyms. You should get off this board and start your day drinking early, methinks. The stress of being this outraged is unhealthy.

You're the one that's upset that you can't find a sitter for kids 2-5

I’m not upset, I just think you’re a psycho control freak

You are the rude one bringing an uninvited sibling to an elementary school party.

No one cares about your single mom status or if your husband is traveling. Just RSVP no if you can’t make arrangements for your other child. Or have another parent keep an eye on your child.

PP is not the control freak. You are the rude guest. I have never turned away a rude guest with sibling but I always thought you were rude.

Sibling or no sibling, there is zero chance I would want my kid attending your party lol. You…are miserable and your kids probably are too. If there was a venn diagram of kids raised by parents who need blood pressure medication because siblings come to a birthday party, and trouble-maker kids who become a**hole adults, there would 100-% be a perfect overlap.

Our kids’ parties and our adult parties are very well attended. You would also never know that I think you are rude for bringing siblings because I am a gracious host.

My oldest kid is in high school. We haven’t dealt with siblings for him for years. Right after Covid, we did have a paintball party and a mom asked if her high school kid could join. I said sure but inside I thought it was odd to bring a teenager to a middle school kid party. Teen ended up sitting in the car even though I gave permission for him to join.

Oh no lady, lol, we know. You just very much come off as poor (and *un*gracious).

NP. Speak for yourself there, not "we."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids come as a set. They are close enough in age to go to same parties. Parents need to get over themselves and let kids be kids and play together. Im over all of these extra party rules. My kid / sibling has never been turned away FWIW.

I have 3 kids. I don’t know anyone who thinks kids come as a set, not even twin moms.

When kids are young and in preschool, hanging out with multiple kids is ok. When kids attend elementary and kids are drop off ages, it is not ok to send big siblings as a set.

Twin mom here. My girls are definitely a set. We should at least be exceptions to the rule. If both my girls cant go, im declining the invite. But it has never been a problem.

Yeah, no. Stop treating your children like a matched set and see them as individuals.

Are they allowed to be in different classes? Have different interests?

If you are not a twin mom, you are clueless and should not speak on twin mom decisions. We have it hard enough. You basically sound like a childfree person telling you how to parent. Clueless! Those that get it- get it.

Hahaha- delusional twin mom. I knew it. You guys think NO ONE has it harder than you.

We DO have it harder at certain stages sweetheart! Its twice the work. YOU are delusional to think otherwise. In addition to my twins, they have an older sibling so I know how it is to parent one age at a time. Again, unless you are twin mom, you have no clue. My SET of twins go to the party together.

I look forward to when your SET of twins begin dating the same person. Because they come as a SET. Not weird at all.

Oh please! They are 4 almost 5. What preschool mom doesn’t make things inclusive for preschoolers. Get over yourself and your Singleton child. Until you have managed a SET, have several seats!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids come as a set. They are close enough in age to go to same parties. Parents need to get over themselves and let kids be kids and play together. Im over all of these extra party rules. My kid / sibling has never been turned away FWIW.

I have 3 kids. I don’t know anyone who thinks kids come as a set, not even twin moms.

When kids are young and in preschool, hanging out with multiple kids is ok. When kids attend elementary and kids are drop off ages, it is not ok to send big siblings as a set.

Twin mom here. My girls are definitely a set. We should at least be exceptions to the rule. If both my girls cant go, im declining the invite. But it has never been a problem.

Yeah, no. Stop treating your children like a matched set and see them as individuals.

Are they allowed to be in different classes? Have different interests?

If you are not a twin mom, you are clueless and should not speak on twin mom decisions. We have it hard enough. You basically sound like a childfree person telling you how to parent. Clueless! Those that get it- get it.

Hahaha- delusional twin mom. I knew it. You guys think NO ONE has it harder than you.

We DO have it harder at certain stages sweetheart! Its twice the work. YOU are delusional to think otherwise. In addition to my twins, they have an older sibling so I know how it is to parent one age at a time. Again, unless you are twin mom, you have no clue. My SET of twins go to the party together.

I look forward to when your SET of twins begin dating the same person. Because they come as a SET. Not weird at all.

Oh please! They are 4 almost 5. What preschool mom doesn’t make things inclusive for preschoolers. Get over yourself and your Singleton child. Until you have managed a SET, have several seats!

Preschool parties are not drop off and people won’t care if you bring your twins together.

The offense would be if you have an elementary child and you bring your two twin siblings.

[Anonymous]

I have not read the whole thread but I have a related specific question I can hopefully get insight on

DD has her 10th birthday party coming up. One of her best friends, Larla has a 7 year old brother, Larlo, that is one of my DS's best friends. DD is adamant that she doesn't want Larlo at the party but his parents have indicated they're bringing both kids (we often do things as families). I was trying to figure out how to communicate to the family that Larlo is not invited. But now that I've typed it out, I'm not sure if I should.

Thoughts on how to proceed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have not read the whole thread but I have a related specific question I can hopefully get insight on

DD has her 10th birthday party coming up. One of her best friends, Larla has a 7 year old brother, Larlo, that is one of my DS's best friends. DD is adamant that she doesn't want Larlo at the party but his parents have indicated they're bringing both kids (we often do things as families). I was trying to figure out how to communicate to the family that Larlo is not invited. But now that I've typed it out, I'm not sure if I should.

Thoughts on how to proceed?

It is really not appropriate for a little brother to tag along a 10yo party.

You can say it is an all girls party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think I’ve been to a party where people brought siblings without checking with the host first.

Op here. We actually had two parties this weekend. Both had many siblings. I was curious and checked the Evite and parents did not rsvp with siblings. One party it felt like the majority was full families. Second party had at least half the kids being siblings.

The Evite doesn’t reflect what communications the guests may have had directly with the hosts. At my daughter’s party, people who wanted to bring siblings texted me to ask if it was okay.

[Anonymous]

We are trying to do what’s best for the kids and give them a real home and family, despite some difficult opposition from my boyfriend’s ex, so we request that our 10 year old boys do things as a team so that they are known as a family (ex insists on keeping them separate). I think the least other families can do is help our kids have some stability after a rough childhood.

Hopefully next year the boys will go to the same school so this isn’t a problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are trying to do what’s best for the kids and give them a real home and family, despite some difficult opposition from my boyfriend’s ex, so we request that our 10 year old boys do things as a team so that they are known as a family (ex insists on keeping them separate). I think the least other families can do is help our kids have some stability after a rough childhood.

Hopefully next year the boys will go to the same school so this isn’t a problem.

Are you saying that you bring a non related 10 year old boy to a friend’s birthday party?

Please don’t do this. This may be even worse than a younger sibling. It is an unrelated “friend”. I have 3 kids and have attended hundreds of parties and this would be a new level of party crashing. It doesn’t even sound like they are stepbrothers.