I’m really surprised at the number of people who bring siblings to parties

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the hosting family was Indian, they would probably be inclusive, call entire families, provide a hot meal with options as well as pizza and cake, have goody bags for all the kids, provide beer and wine for the adults, pack leftovers for the guests to take home and also have a clown or magician to entertain the guests.

I live in an area with lots of Indians. My kids have yet to be invited to one of their parties. My dd is close to one girl too. They say they only have family parties and don’t invite friends.

Code for we only invite Indian people
-signed, a foreigner (and I’ve seen it with my compatriots too)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve brought siblings to Chuck E Cheese style parties a couple of times BUT I would never dream of asking the host family to have siblings join the party, let alone pay for them! I always pay for their entry and food and goodies and entertain them away from the actual party (and yes, it’s in cases where I do not have alternate childcare).

What does this have to do w you deciding to take your other (non invited) kids to a bday party venue? Why not just drop the invited kid off and go home w your other kids? Why do you need childcare at all? Wouldn’t you be taking care of your kids regardless of whether one is attending a party or not?

DP. Doesn’t sound like she’s talking about drop off parties. It also sounds like she’s being super polite.

Ok but if it’s not a drop off party and she is in another area supervising her other kids, what is the point of her even being there? Usually if it’s not a drop off party that’s bc the kids are young enough that the hosts want parents to stay and help out w their kids but this pp comes to a party and goes to a totally different area w her other kids so she wouldn’t be helping watch the invited kid so it basically IS like she’s just dropping her kid off anyway…

I mean if I take my kids to a playground for example the oldest, I would not let go by herself, but she’s fairly independent unless and until something goes wrong (injury, etc). Ditto at a big venue. Point is that the parent is around if necessary.

But also why would anyone care if a younger kid was playing separately, supervised by parent, assuming not a private venue and there were other non- party kids around anyway?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the hosting family was Indian, they would probably be inclusive, call entire families, provide a hot meal with options as well as pizza and cake, have goody bags for all the kids, provide beer and wine for the adults, pack leftovers for the guests to take home and also have a clown or magician to entertain the guests.

I live in an area with lots of Indians. My kids have yet to be invited to one of their parties. My dd is close to one girl too. They say they only have family parties and don’t invite friends.

Code for we only invite Indian people
-signed, a foreigner (and I’ve seen it with my compatriots too)

We are a mixed Asian family. We have gotten invited to a few Indian parties and they are mostly all Indian. Our family friend parties are also mostly Asian friends. We have been to parties where majority of party is African or black or Latino. We have one good friend who is Serbian and we have been to a few of their mostly Serbian parties. This is not unique to Indians. The most obvious one is if you go to a mostly all white party of a white family.

[Anonymous]

I think you need to write "No siblings" if that's what you want. A lot of people don't follow or don't know the rules anymore. In my circle, the invitations are always addressed to the kid, with the understanding that the whole family is invited. I was confused about this at first and wasn't sure who we could/should bring.

I also think if you have a party that's far away, you need to understand that people may not come if they can't bring the other kids. Sometimes it's not possible to drive and drop-off for a 2 hour party if it's not right in the immediate neighborhood. And I think people would do well to remember that it's nice to host, but your guests are also carving time out of their busy weekends to attend your party and bring a gift. They are making an effort too.

[Anonymous]

I really don’t think normal people care. This is a popular sensationalized DCUM topic.

Popular birthday parties venues like public parks, trampoline places, bowling/arcade, no one cares if siblings are there. Generally parent drops the invites kid in the party area then pays for and entertains the sibling. No one cares.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the families are hispanic, you should expect they'll bring their entire family, some random cousins, their neighbor and a friend they picked up on the way.

Yes, this is accurate

But to other people, that is seen as taking advantage of their hospitality. There are capacity limits and headcount involved, it's not a free for all unless specifically mentioned in the invitation.

Just take it into account with certain cultures
I think the memo is to be culturally aware
Except of course for the representatives of said cultures
Fwiw I am not American and it bugs me

The only culture that matters is the host's. It's not the host's job to cater to every individual's cultural quirks. Guests need to be culturally aware and sensitive and not unintentionally insult. This is just how it works. If it's the host's culture that shoes are off in the house then the guests comply, it doesn't matter that it's not the guest's culture to NOT remove shoes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I really don’t think normal people care. This is a popular sensationalized DCUM topic.

Popular birthday parties venues like public parks, trampoline places, bowling/arcade, no one cares if siblings are there. Generally parent drops the invites kid in the party area then pays for and entertains the sibling. No one cares.

They most certainly do not do this. They show up and expect the hosts to set another seat at the table, serve food and cake, and pay for entry. The idea that there are secret siblings there but out of sight just does not happen. Those siblings also are usually first in line demanding a goody bag.

[Anonymous]

This is 100% an entitled millennial mommy thing - new in the past 5 years. Never saw it when my 13 year old a toddler/early ES but have seen it with my 6 year old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve brought siblings to Chuck E Cheese style parties a couple of times BUT I would never dream of asking the host family to have siblings join the party, let alone pay for them! I always pay for their entry and food and goodies and entertain them away from the actual party (and yes, it’s in cases where I do not have alternate childcare).

What does this have to do w you deciding to take your other (non invited) kids to a bday party venue? Why not just drop the invited kid off and go home w your other kids? Why do you need childcare at all? Wouldn’t you be taking care of your kids regardless of whether one is attending a party or not?

DP. Doesn’t sound like she’s talking about drop off parties. It also sounds like she’s being super polite.

Ok but if it’s not a drop off party and she is in another area supervising her other kids, what is the point of her even being there? Usually if it’s not a drop off party that’s bc the kids are young enough that the hosts want parents to stay and help out w their kids but this pp comes to a party and goes to a totally different area w her other kids so she wouldn’t be helping watch the invited kid so it basically IS like she’s just dropping her kid off anyway…

Because this isn’t actually about childcare. It’s about making sure that one kid doesn’t get to do a fun activity that their sibling doesn’t. Gotta make sure both do the same activity.

I think this is actually it. Every time an uninvited sibling has shown up (and it has happened with both immigrant and non immigrant families) the mom gave the excuse that the little sibling would be heartbroken if they didn't get to tag along. Which is true! I just dealt with this yesterday with my youngest. But you find something else fun for them and figure it out, instead of imposing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you need to write "No siblings" if that's what you want. A lot of people don't follow or don't know the rules anymore. In my circle, the invitations are always addressed to the kid, with the understanding that the whole family is invited. I was confused about this at first and wasn't sure who we could/should bring.

I also think if you have a party that's far away, you need to understand that people may not come if they can't bring the other kids. Sometimes it's not possible to drive and drop-off for a 2 hour party if it's not right in the immediate neighborhood. And I think people would do well to remember that it's nice to host, but your guests are also carving time out of their busy weekends to attend your party and bring a gift. They are making an effort too.

There are always other things to do. Don't make lame excuses. Drop the kid then go get gas, do grocery shopping, run some other errand. Don't act like this venue is in a desert with nothing else around. You just really want to bring your kids and have them experience the activity. It's so obvious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve brought siblings to Chuck E Cheese style parties a couple of times BUT I would never dream of asking the host family to have siblings join the party, let alone pay for them! I always pay for their entry and food and goodies and entertain them away from the actual party (and yes, it’s in cases where I do not have alternate childcare).

What does this have to do w you deciding to take your other (non invited) kids to a bday party venue? Why not just drop the invited kid off and go home w your other kids? Why do you need childcare at all? Wouldn’t you be taking care of your kids regardless of whether one is attending a party or not?

DP. Doesn’t sound like she’s talking about drop off parties. It also sounds like she’s being super polite.

Ok but if it’s not a drop off party and she is in another area supervising her other kids, what is the point of her even being there? Usually if it’s not a drop off party that’s bc the kids are young enough that the hosts want parents to stay and help out w their kids but this pp comes to a party and goes to a totally different area w her other kids so she wouldn’t be helping watch the invited kid so it basically IS like she’s just dropping her kid off anyway…

Because this isn’t actually about childcare. It’s about making sure that one kid doesn’t get to do a fun activity that their sibling doesn’t. Gotta make sure both do the same activity.

I think this is actually it. Every time an uninvited sibling has shown up (and it has happened with both immigrant and non immigrant families) the mom gave the excuse that the little sibling would be heartbroken if they didn't get to tag along. Which is true! I just dealt with this yesterday with my youngest. But you find something else fun for them and figure it out, instead of imposing.

OP here. When my oldest started kindergarten, it was sometimes a struggle because my preschool younger child would get upset about not attending. I never once asked to bring a sibling. I did have some people who we got to know specifically invite both kids. I once took my older kid to a Chuck E. Cheese party of younger kid in kindergarten. I didn’t feel comfortable dropping off my 5yo at Chuck E. Cheese and also couldn’t leave my 7year old home alone. I paid for my 7yo and told him clearly not to join party. I think the mom still gave my older son a handful of tokens. This was before they used cards. That was the one and only time I brought a sibling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve brought siblings to Chuck E Cheese style parties a couple of times BUT I would never dream of asking the host family to have siblings join the party, let alone pay for them! I always pay for their entry and food and goodies and entertain them away from the actual party (and yes, it’s in cases where I do not have alternate childcare).

What does this have to do w you deciding to take your other (non invited) kids to a bday party venue? Why not just drop the invited kid off and go home w your other kids? Why do you need childcare at all? Wouldn’t you be taking care of your kids regardless of whether one is attending a party or not?

DP. Doesn’t sound like she’s talking about drop off parties. It also sounds like she’s being super polite.

Ok but if it’s not a drop off party and she is in another area supervising her other kids, what is the point of her even being there? Usually if it’s not a drop off party that’s bc the kids are young enough that the hosts want parents to stay and help out w their kids but this pp comes to a party and goes to a totally different area w her other kids so she wouldn’t be helping watch the invited kid so it basically IS like she’s just dropping her kid off anyway…

Because this isn’t actually about childcare. It’s about making sure that one kid doesn’t get to do a fun activity that their sibling doesn’t. Gotta make sure both do the same activity.

I think this is actually it. Every time an uninvited sibling has shown up (and it has happened with both immigrant and non immigrant families) the mom gave the excuse that the little sibling would be heartbroken if they didn't get to tag along. Which is true! I just dealt with this yesterday with my youngest. But you find something else fun for them and figure it out, instead of imposing.

OP here. When my oldest started kindergarten, it was sometimes a struggle because my preschool younger child would get upset about not attending. I never once asked to bring a sibling. I did have some people who we got to know specifically invite both kids. I once took my older kid to a Chuck E. Cheese party of younger kid in kindergarten. I didn’t feel comfortable dropping off my 5yo at Chuck E. Cheese and also couldn’t leave my 7year old home alone. I paid for my 7yo and told him clearly not to join party. I think the mom still gave my older son a handful of tokens. This was before they used cards. That was the one and only time I brought a sibling.

Chuck e cheese hasn't used tokens in a very long time. How old are your kids now that you're still seeing siblings crash parties?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve brought siblings to Chuck E Cheese style parties a couple of times BUT I would never dream of asking the host family to have siblings join the party, let alone pay for them! I always pay for their entry and food and goodies and entertain them away from the actual party (and yes, it’s in cases where I do not have alternate childcare).

What does this have to do w you deciding to take your other (non invited) kids to a bday party venue? Why not just drop the invited kid off and go home w your other kids? Why do you need childcare at all? Wouldn’t you be taking care of your kids regardless of whether one is attending a party or not?

Because in this area quite often these parties are not in the neighborhood, and with the length of most kids parties plus driving time to/from/to we’d be spending most of the time in the car. No thanks. (Not sure why it would bother anyone in the least to bring a sibling as long as it’s not actually infringing on the actual party. I agree that it’s rude to have a sibling tag along to the party itself unless the host has specifically okay’d it.)

Don't you have a husband?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe the family was fine with it. We always invited everyone. I think its weird not to.

Umm it’s not weird.

A small 15 child party easily becomes an unmanageable 60 — 100 person wedding type event if every invitee brings their parents and siblings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because we dont have babysitters!

Do you have a spouse?