I’m really surprised at the number of people who bring siblings to parties

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I appreciate that this can be a real problem but the suggestion that siblings need to be completely banned from public settings is unhinged.

Can you quote who said siblings should be banned? Pretty much universally this is people taking a "siblings only" invite then RSVPing for 4 people. Weird that people are so incredulous that this has ever happened and arguing that the host must have forgotten to say "no siblings".

It's because the people who are mad have taken 8 pages to answer whether they wrote "no siblings" and torpedoed every suggestion for self-help along the way. It sounds like you can either talk to the parents who are doing this, or stop inviting their kids to the parties. Or you can plan a party that can accommodate people who just show up without extra expense. Or you can keep doing the same thing and venting on DCUM.

Or you can make it known that this is not cool on places like here. I don't know why you ASSumed people don't write no siblings. And even if they didn't, it doesn't make it ok to just bring 7 random people. I know you think you have all the answers and want the thread to end with your advice, but that's not how things work. Besides, OP wasn't asking for advice on this, she was pointing out that she is surprised people do this. A discussion ensued which really bothers you. Why are you so invested in this? Your participation isn't mandatory and feel free to keep scrolling.

Which is weird, because OP does this.

I do not do this. I do not bring siblings to parties. Once when my middle kid was in kindergarten, I took my 7yo and PAID for him. We did not join the kindergarten party. This was 7-8 years ago.

OP somehow you must have missed that apparently even paying for your kid’s sibling is unacceptable to these control-freaks you have unmasked with this thread. There were several pages of discussion about this exact scenario (paying for sibling at public venue and keeping them away from the party) and the consensus still seems be that this is abhorrent, unacceptably rude and entitled behavior! You should have taken the other kid to Target or something.

Because your kids invariably find themselves in the party room. Because the hovering mom needs to be there to cut the kids pizza or remove the cupcake wrapper. It's great if you can be in the public venue yet nobody else even knows you're there but that happens rarely and we all know it. But if you actually do what you say you're doing how would anyone know to complain?

No, this chip on your shoulder is bizarre. If it’s not a sibling being annoying for existing, it’s going to be a stranger who randomly showed up to play that day. If non-party kids being around are so triggering, you should be paying for a private venue and turning the plus ones away at the door. Good grief.

It's not bizarre, party crasher. You're a rude boor. Are you partying in the party or are you hiding in the public venue out of sight such that nobody knows you're there?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I appreciate that this can be a real problem but the suggestion that siblings need to be completely banned from public settings is unhinged.

Can you quote who said siblings should be banned? Pretty much universally this is people taking a "siblings only" invite then RSVPing for 4 people. Weird that people are so incredulous that this has ever happened and arguing that the host must have forgotten to say "no siblings".

It's because the people who are mad have taken 8 pages to answer whether they wrote "no siblings" and torpedoed every suggestion for self-help along the way. It sounds like you can either talk to the parents who are doing this, or stop inviting their kids to the parties. Or you can plan a party that can accommodate people who just show up without extra expense. Or you can keep doing the same thing and venting on DCUM.

Or you can make it known that this is not cool on places like here. I don't know why you ASSumed people don't write no siblings. And even if they didn't, it doesn't make it ok to just bring 7 random people. I know you think you have all the answers and want the thread to end with your advice, but that's not how things work. Besides, OP wasn't asking for advice on this, she was pointing out that she is surprised people do this. A discussion ensued which really bothers you. Why are you so invested in this? Your participation isn't mandatory and feel free to keep scrolling.

Which is weird, because OP does this.

I do not do this. I do not bring siblings to parties. Once when my middle kid was in kindergarten, I took my 7yo and PAID for him. We did not join the kindergarten party. This was 7-8 years ago.

OP somehow you must have missed that apparently even paying for your kid’s sibling is unacceptable to these control-freaks you have unmasked with this thread. There were several pages of discussion about this exact scenario (paying for sibling at public venue and keeping them away from the party) and the consensus still seems be that this is abhorrent, unacceptably rude and entitled behavior! You should have taken the other kid to Target or something.

Because your kids invariably find themselves in the party room. Because the hovering mom needs to be there to cut the kids pizza or remove the cupcake wrapper. It's great if you can be in the public venue yet nobody else even knows you're there but that happens rarely and we all know it. But if you actually do what you say you're doing how would anyone know to complain?

No, this chip on your shoulder is bizarre. If it’s not a sibling being annoying for existing, it’s going to be a stranger who randomly showed up to play that day. If non-party kids being around are so triggering, you should be paying for a private venue and turning the plus ones away at the door. Good grief.

It's not bizarre, party crasher. You're a rude boor. Are you partying in the party or are you hiding in the public venue out of sight such that nobody knows you're there?

Lady, I have a very involved and available spouse and have never been in the position of needing to have an extra sibling around. I've never done this. I'm the person without a vested interest in this argument saying you sound unhinged.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I appreciate that this can be a real problem but the suggestion that siblings need to be completely banned from public settings is unhinged.

Can you quote who said siblings should be banned? Pretty much universally this is people taking a "siblings only" invite then RSVPing for 4 people. Weird that people are so incredulous that this has ever happened and arguing that the host must have forgotten to say "no siblings".

It's because the people who are mad have taken 8 pages to answer whether they wrote "no siblings" and torpedoed every suggestion for self-help along the way. It sounds like you can either talk to the parents who are doing this, or stop inviting their kids to the parties. Or you can plan a party that can accommodate people who just show up without extra expense. Or you can keep doing the same thing and venting on DCUM.

Or you can make it known that this is not cool on places like here. I don't know why you ASSumed people don't write no siblings. And even if they didn't, it doesn't make it ok to just bring 7 random people. I know you think you have all the answers and want the thread to end with your advice, but that's not how things work. Besides, OP wasn't asking for advice on this, she was pointing out that she is surprised people do this. A discussion ensued which really bothers you. Why are you so invested in this? Your participation isn't mandatory and feel free to keep scrolling.

Which is weird, because OP does this.

I do not do this. I do not bring siblings to parties. Once when my middle kid was in kindergarten, I took my 7yo and PAID for him. We did not join the kindergarten party. This was 7-8 years ago.

OP somehow you must have missed that apparently even paying for your kid’s sibling is unacceptable to these control-freaks you have unmasked with this thread. There were several pages of discussion about this exact scenario (paying for sibling at public venue and keeping them away from the party) and the consensus still seems be that this is abhorrent, unacceptably rude and entitled behavior! You should have taken the other kid to Target or something.

Because your kids invariably find themselves in the party room. Because the hovering mom needs to be there to cut the kids pizza or remove the cupcake wrapper. It's great if you can be in the public venue yet nobody else even knows you're there but that happens rarely and we all know it. But if you actually do what you say you're doing how would anyone know to complain?

No, this chip on your shoulder is bizarre. If it’s not a sibling being annoying for existing, it’s going to be a stranger who randomly showed up to play that day. If non-party kids being around are so triggering, you should be paying for a private venue and turning the plus ones away at the door. Good grief.

It's not bizarre, party crasher. You're a rude boor. Are you partying in the party or are you hiding in the public venue out of sight such that nobody knows you're there?

Lady, I have a very involved and available spouse and have never been in the position of needing to have an extra sibling around. I've never done this. I'm the person without a vested interest in this argument saying you sound unhinged.

Arguing this vehemently over something you’ve never seen and never do is a weird way to spend your time. Why do you even care? You sound like a nutter.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I’ve brought siblings to Chuck E Cheese style parties a couple of times BUT I would never dream of asking the host family to have siblings join the party, let alone pay for them! I always pay for their entry and food and goodies and entertain them away from the actual party (and yes, it’s in cases where I do not have alternate childcare).

What does this have to do w you deciding to take your other (non invited) kids to a bday party venue? Why not just drop the invited kid off and go home w your other kids? Why do you need childcare at all? Wouldn’t you be taking care of your kids regardless of whether one is attending a party or not?

Because in this area quite often these parties are not in the neighborhood, and with the length of most kids parties plus driving time to/from/to we’d be spending most of the time in the car. No thanks. (Not sure why it would bother anyone in the least to bring a sibling as long as it’s not actually infringing on the actual party. I agree that it’s rude to have a sibling tag along to the party itself unless the host has specifically okay’d it.)

Don't you have a husband?

Some people don't have spouses. Some people have spouses who work weekends.

It's amazing how these same people never have friends or know their classmates and can coordinate carpools or switch off on looking after each other's kids at these parties. The only solution is always bringing little brother so he can have fun too. There's also nothing else ever to do near the party, must crash the party, it's the only way.

Very often either my spouse or I are on work travel on weekends. (Not unusual for this area.) And it is not amazing that we don’t have a network of family or friends to help us, as we are both adult transplants to the area who work a lot. (This is also not unusual for this area, but thanks for rubbing it in!)

And in my initial post I explicitly said that while I sometimes have little sibling tag along I never let sibling impose on the actual party.

You seem like you are looking for a reason to be angry.

That is absolutely NOT common in this area.

“Common” and “not unusual” are not actually synonyms. You should get off this board and start your day drinking early, methinks. The stress of being this outraged is unhealthy.

You're the one that's upset that you can't find a sitter for kids 2-5

I’m not upset, I just think you’re a psycho control freak

You are the rude one bringing an uninvited sibling to an elementary school party.

No one cares about your single mom status or if your husband is traveling. Just RSVP no if you can’t make arrangements for your other child. Or have another parent keep an eye on your child.

PP is not the control freak. You are the rude guest. I have never turned away a rude guest with sibling but I always thought you were rude.

Sibling or no sibling, there is zero chance I would want my kid attending your party lol. You…are miserable and your kids probably are too. If there was a venn diagram of kids raised by parents who need blood pressure medication because siblings come to a birthday party, and trouble-maker kids who become a**hole adults, there would 100-% be a perfect overlap.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Because we dont have babysitters!

One parent stays home with sibs, the other parent takes kid to party. Anything else is super rude and presumptuous.

Single mom here on a tight schedule…now what?

Hire a babysitter or decline invitation for your kid.

Plenty of parents decline or don’t even RSVP because of siblings. I have had people say Johnny can’t come because his sister has a volleyball game. Many people give no excuse at all.

I have told host we can’t make it because I have other child. Some people say being sibling. Others say nothing and accept your no. I haven’t done this for years since kids have been drop off ages. If 10-15 kids are invited, we usually know at least half or often all the kids. It is very easy to get a ride for my child. If I don’t know many/any people, I have asked birthday child’s parent to take my child and they do! We have only done this once and the birthday child’s mom was already taking 4 other kids.

Then next you’ll be complaining that no one came to your child’s party. <hard eye roll>

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:My kids come as a set. They are close enough in age to go to same parties. Parents need to get over themselves and let kids be kids and play together. Im over all of these extra party rules. My kid / sibling has never been turned away FWIW.

I have 3 kids. I don’t know anyone who thinks kids come as a set, not even twin moms.

When kids are young and in preschool, hanging out with multiple kids is ok. When kids attend elementary and kids are drop off ages, it is not ok to send big siblings as a set.

Twin mom here. My girls are definitely a set. We should at least be exceptions to the rule. If both my girls cant go, im declining the invite. But it has never been a problem.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I’ve brought siblings to Chuck E Cheese style parties a couple of times BUT I would never dream of asking the host family to have siblings join the party, let alone pay for them! I always pay for their entry and food and goodies and entertain them away from the actual party (and yes, it’s in cases where I do not have alternate childcare).

What does this have to do w you deciding to take your other (non invited) kids to a bday party venue? Why not just drop the invited kid off and go home w your other kids? Why do you need childcare at all? Wouldn’t you be taking care of your kids regardless of whether one is attending a party or not?

Because in this area quite often these parties are not in the neighborhood, and with the length of most kids parties plus driving time to/from/to we’d be spending most of the time in the car. No thanks. (Not sure why it would bother anyone in the least to bring a sibling as long as it’s not actually infringing on the actual party. I agree that it’s rude to have a sibling tag along to the party itself unless the host has specifically okay’d it.)

Don't you have a husband?

Some people don't have spouses. Some people have spouses who work weekends.

It's amazing how these same people never have friends or know their classmates and can coordinate carpools or switch off on looking after each other's kids at these parties. The only solution is always bringing little brother so he can have fun too. There's also nothing else ever to do near the party, must crash the party, it's the only way.

Very often either my spouse or I are on work travel on weekends. (Not unusual for this area.) And it is not amazing that we don’t have a network of family or friends to help us, as we are both adult transplants to the area who work a lot. (This is also not unusual for this area, but thanks for rubbing it in!)

And in my initial post I explicitly said that while I sometimes have little sibling tag along I never let sibling impose on the actual party.

You seem like you are looking for a reason to be angry.

That is absolutely NOT common in this area.

“Common” and “not unusual” are not actually synonyms. You should get off this board and start your day drinking early, methinks. The stress of being this outraged is unhealthy.

You're the one that's upset that you can't find a sitter for kids 2-5

I’m not upset, I just think you’re a psycho control freak

You are the rude one bringing an uninvited sibling to an elementary school party.

No one cares about your single mom status or if your husband is traveling. Just RSVP no if you can’t make arrangements for your other child. Or have another parent keep an eye on your child.

PP is not the control freak. You are the rude guest. I have never turned away a rude guest with sibling but I always thought you were rude.

Sibling or no sibling, there is zero chance I would want my kid attending your party lol. You…are miserable and your kids probably are too. If there was a venn diagram of kids raised by parents who need blood pressure medication because siblings come to a birthday party, and trouble-maker kids who become a**hole adults, there would 100-% be a perfect overlap.

WTF you are losing your mind weirdo. Step away.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:My kids come as a set. They are close enough in age to go to same parties. Parents need to get over themselves and let kids be kids and play together. Im over all of these extra party rules. My kid / sibling has never been turned away FWIW.

I have 3 kids. I don’t know anyone who thinks kids come as a set, not even twin moms.

When kids are young and in preschool, hanging out with multiple kids is ok. When kids attend elementary and kids are drop off ages, it is not ok to send big siblings as a set.

Twin mom here. My girls are definitely a set. We should at least be exceptions to the rule. If both my girls cant go, im declining the invite. But it has never been a problem.

Hahaha I hope you are a troll, and not delusional!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids come as a set. They are close enough in age to go to same parties. Parents need to get over themselves and let kids be kids and play together. Im over all of these extra party rules. My kid / sibling has never been turned away FWIW.

I have 3 kids. I don’t know anyone who thinks kids come as a set, not even twin moms.

When kids are young and in preschool, hanging out with multiple kids is ok. When kids attend elementary and kids are drop off ages, it is not ok to send big siblings as a set.

Twin mom here. My girls are definitely a set. We should at least be exceptions to the rule. If both my girls cant go, im declining the invite. But it has never been a problem.

Yeah, no. Stop treating your children like a matched set and see them as individuals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids come as a set. They are close enough in age to go to same parties. Parents need to get over themselves and let kids be kids and play together. Im over all of these extra party rules. My kid / sibling has never been turned away FWIW.

I have 3 kids. I don’t know anyone who thinks kids come as a set, not even twin moms.

When kids are young and in preschool, hanging out with multiple kids is ok. When kids attend elementary and kids are drop off ages, it is not ok to send big siblings as a set.

Twin mom here. My girls are definitely a set. We should at least be exceptions to the rule. If both my girls cant go, im declining the invite. But it has never been a problem.

Yeah, no. Stop treating your children like a matched set and see them as individuals.

Are they allowed to be in different classes? Have different interests?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids come as a set. They are close enough in age to go to same parties. Parents need to get over themselves and let kids be kids and play together. Im over all of these extra party rules. My kid / sibling has never been turned away FWIW.

I have 3 kids. I don’t know anyone who thinks kids come as a set, not even twin moms.

When kids are young and in preschool, hanging out with multiple kids is ok. When kids attend elementary and kids are drop off ages, it is not ok to send big siblings as a set.

Twin mom here. My girls are definitely a set. We should at least be exceptions to the rule. If both my girls cant go, im declining the invite. But it has never been a problem.

Yeah, no. Stop treating your children like a matched set and see them as individuals.

Are they allowed to be in different classes? Have different interests?

If you are not a twin mom, you are clueless and should not speak on twin mom decisions. We have it hard enough. You basically sound like a childfree person telling you how to parent. Clueless! Those that get it- get it.

[Anonymous]

Also as a twin mom i have to invite double the class because they are in different classes. Newsflash! Twins have birthdays on the same day! And kids are technically at a party of someone they aren’t necessarily friends with so parents are fine when my set of twins come together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also as a twin mom i have to invite double the class because they are in different classes. Newsflash! Twins have birthdays on the same day! And kids are technically at a party of someone they aren’t necessarily friends with so parents are fine when my set of twins come together.

How old are your kids? This may seem ok in younger grades but twins absolutely have different friends as they get older.

We know many sets of twins. Many are boy girl twins. My friends who had joint everything and went everywhere together have now started to separate twins and let them explore their different interests and yes, friends. My one friend says one twin doesn’t want other twin around at play dates.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I’ve brought siblings to Chuck E Cheese style parties a couple of times BUT I would never dream of asking the host family to have siblings join the party, let alone pay for them! I always pay for their entry and food and goodies and entertain them away from the actual party (and yes, it’s in cases where I do not have alternate childcare).

What does this have to do w you deciding to take your other (non invited) kids to a bday party venue? Why not just drop the invited kid off and go home w your other kids? Why do you need childcare at all? Wouldn’t you be taking care of your kids regardless of whether one is attending a party or not?

Because in this area quite often these parties are not in the neighborhood, and with the length of most kids parties plus driving time to/from/to we’d be spending most of the time in the car. No thanks. (Not sure why it would bother anyone in the least to bring a sibling as long as it’s not actually infringing on the actual party. I agree that it’s rude to have a sibling tag along to the party itself unless the host has specifically okay’d it.)

Don't you have a husband?

Some people don't have spouses. Some people have spouses who work weekends.

It's amazing how these same people never have friends or know their classmates and can coordinate carpools or switch off on looking after each other's kids at these parties. The only solution is always bringing little brother so he can have fun too. There's also nothing else ever to do near the party, must crash the party, it's the only way.

Very often either my spouse or I are on work travel on weekends. (Not unusual for this area.) And it is not amazing that we don’t have a network of family or friends to help us, as we are both adult transplants to the area who work a lot. (This is also not unusual for this area, but thanks for rubbing it in!)

And in my initial post I explicitly said that while I sometimes have little sibling tag along I never let sibling impose on the actual party.

You seem like you are looking for a reason to be angry.

That is absolutely NOT common in this area.

“Common” and “not unusual” are not actually synonyms. You should get off this board and start your day drinking early, methinks. The stress of being this outraged is unhealthy.

You're the one that's upset that you can't find a sitter for kids 2-5

I’m not upset, I just think you’re a psycho control freak

You are the rude one bringing an uninvited sibling to an elementary school party.

No one cares about your single mom status or if your husband is traveling. Just RSVP no if you can’t make arrangements for your other child. Or have another parent keep an eye on your child.

PP is not the control freak. You are the rude guest. I have never turned away a rude guest with sibling but I always thought you were rude.

Sibling or no sibling, there is zero chance I would want my kid attending your party lol. You…are miserable and your kids probably are too. If there was a venn diagram of kids raised by parents who need blood pressure medication because siblings come to a birthday party, and trouble-maker kids who become a**hole adults, there would 100-% be a perfect overlap.

Our kids’ parties and our adult parties are very well attended. You would also never know that I think you are rude for bringing siblings because I am a gracious host.

My oldest kid is in high school. We haven’t dealt with siblings for him for years. Right after Covid, we did have a paintball party and a mom asked if her high school kid could join. I said sure but inside I thought it was odd to bring a teenager to a middle school kid party. Teen ended up sitting in the car even though I gave permission for him to join.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids come as a set. They are close enough in age to go to same parties. Parents need to get over themselves and let kids be kids and play together. Im over all of these extra party rules. My kid / sibling has never been turned away FWIW.

I have 3 kids. I don’t know anyone who thinks kids come as a set, not even twin moms.

When kids are young and in preschool, hanging out with multiple kids is ok. When kids attend elementary and kids are drop off ages, it is not ok to send big siblings as a set.

Twin mom here. My girls are definitely a set. We should at least be exceptions to the rule. If both my girls cant go, im declining the invite. But it has never been a problem.

Yeah, no. Stop treating your children like a matched set and see them as individuals.

Are they allowed to be in different classes? Have different interests?

If you are not a twin mom, you are clueless and should not speak on twin mom decisions. We have it hard enough. You basically sound like a childfree person telling you how to parent. Clueless! Those that get it- get it.

Hahaha- delusional twin mom. I knew it. You guys think NO ONE has it harder than you.