Feel terrible about my finances after reading this site

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:2nd gen Korean American woman here. My parents immigrated here in their mid to late 30s before I was born and my dad worked in IT. He capped out with a salary below $110K when he retired. My mom stayed home once I was born to raise the kids.

What kind of car do you drive, OP? My parents always had a cheap car compared to the other Korean families I knew. My mom only bought clothes off the sale racks. I never had brand name clothes growing up unless it was handed down to us by another Korean family. We lived in a tiny 3-bdrm ranch house. They refused to try to “keep up with the Kims”.

My dad put us kids through good private colleges. We graduated with loans, but are all doing well as adults. I worked in finance in NYC. By the way, these jobs are hugely stressful. Wall Street firms routinely fire low performers. The pressure to perform and the long hours are intense.

My dad always says how grateful he feels that they do not have to ask us for money and we do not have to ask our parents for money. Your sacrifice is small to what my dad endured. He worked dangerous blue collar jobs to support himself and send money home before he got his education. Being underpaid in white collar corporate America was the most he ever achieved, and I am incredibly proud of him.

My parents have continued to live within their means as retirees. My mom doesn’t have any designer purses or clothes, nor does she value or expect them. They place no expectations or guilt on us kids to support them, although we took them on a big vacation this year that they unsuccessfully tried to help pay for.

I hope that you’ll adjust your expectations and your lifestyle, if appropriate. Your daughter was raised here, and she will feel resentment for having to help her parents financially, especially if you are living a lifestyle in which you are trying to keep up with flashy Korean families. It will hurt your relationship with her.

OP here. Okay, finally someone who gets it. We have only one car (which is rare in this area), and it’s a 12 year-old Toyota. We live as frugally as your parents, it seems like.

Also, how is it possible that your dad worked “dangerous blue collar jobs” but also worked in IT?

I get that NYC finance is hard. My daughter complains a lot about the hours. But I hope my daughter doesn’t feel resentment for trying to help me and my wife in retirement. It’s part of our culture, as you know. I hope that you don’t feel resentful towards your parents when you have to help them out as they age. They sacrificed a lot for you, as you know.

You don't have to be condescending OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:2nd gen Korean American woman here. My parents immigrated here in their mid to late 30s before I was born and my dad worked in IT. He capped out with a salary below $110K when he retired. My mom stayed home once I was born to raise the kids.

What kind of car do you drive, OP? My parents always had a cheap car compared to the other Korean families I knew. My mom only bought clothes off the sale racks. I never had brand name clothes growing up unless it was handed down to us by another Korean family. We lived in a tiny 3-bdrm ranch house. They refused to try to “keep up with the Kims”.

My dad put us kids through good private colleges. We graduated with loans, but are all doing well as adults. I worked in finance in NYC. By the way, these jobs are hugely stressful. Wall Street firms routinely fire low performers. The pressure to perform and the long hours are intense.

My dad always says how grateful he feels that they do not have to ask us for money and we do not have to ask our parents for money. Your sacrifice is small to what my dad endured. He worked dangerous blue collar jobs to support himself and send money home before he got his education. Being underpaid in white collar corporate America was the most he ever achieved, and I am incredibly proud of him.

My parents have continued to live within their means as retirees. My mom doesn’t have any designer purses or clothes, nor does she value or expect them. They place no expectations or guilt on us kids to support them, although we took them on a big vacation this year that they unsuccessfully tried to help pay for.

I hope that you’ll adjust your expectations and your lifestyle, if appropriate. Your daughter was raised here, and she will feel resentment for having to help her parents financially, especially if you are living a lifestyle in which you are trying to keep up with flashy Korean families. It will hurt your relationship with her.

OP here. Okay, finally someone who gets it. We have only one car (which is rare in this area), and it’s a 12 year-old Toyota. We live as frugally as your parents, it seems like.

Also, how is it possible that your dad worked “dangerous blue collar jobs” but also worked in IT?

I get that NYC finance is hard. My daughter complains a lot about the hours. But I hope my daughter doesn’t feel resentment for trying to help me and my wife in retirement. It’s part of our culture, as you know. I hope that you don’t feel resentful towards your parents when you have to help them out as they age. They sacrificed a lot for you, as you know.

She will absolutely resent you. And her spouse definitely will. Especially when your daughter has to bust her a$$ as a working mom so her mom never had to work at all.

Many, arguably most, first-gen Korean women in this area give up their careers to be SAHMs and raise their kids to be high achievers. Besides, I’ve already mentioned before that my wife has worked part-time in the US in retail (and then full-time for one year before she got fired).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:2nd gen Korean American woman here. My parents immigrated here in their mid to late 30s before I was born and my dad worked in IT. He capped out with a salary below $110K when he retired. My mom stayed home once I was born to raise the kids.

What kind of car do you drive, OP? My parents always had a cheap car compared to the other Korean families I knew. My mom only bought clothes off the sale racks. I never had brand name clothes growing up unless it was handed down to us by another Korean family. We lived in a tiny 3-bdrm ranch house. They refused to try to “keep up with the Kims”.

My dad put us kids through good private colleges. We graduated with loans, but are all doing well as adults. I worked in finance in NYC. By the way, these jobs are hugely stressful. Wall Street firms routinely fire low performers. The pressure to perform and the long hours are intense.

My dad always says how grateful he feels that they do not have to ask us for money and we do not have to ask our parents for money. Your sacrifice is small to what my dad endured. He worked dangerous blue collar jobs to support himself and send money home before he got his education. Being underpaid in white collar corporate America was the most he ever achieved, and I am incredibly proud of him.

My parents have continued to live within their means as retirees. My mom doesn’t have any designer purses or clothes, nor does she value or expect them. They place no expectations or guilt on us kids to support them, although we took them on a big vacation this year that they unsuccessfully tried to help pay for.

I hope that you’ll adjust your expectations and your lifestyle, if appropriate. Your daughter was raised here, and she will feel resentment for having to help her parents financially, especially if you are living a lifestyle in which you are trying to keep up with flashy Korean families. It will hurt your relationship with her.

OP here. Okay, finally someone who gets it. We have only one car (which is rare in this area), and it’s a 12 year-old Toyota. We live as frugally as your parents, it seems like.

Also, how is it possible that your dad worked “dangerous blue collar jobs” but also worked in IT?

I get that NYC finance is hard. My daughter complains a lot about the hours. But I hope my daughter doesn’t feel resentment for trying to help me and my wife in retirement. It’s part of our culture, as you know. I hope that you don’t feel resentful towards your parents when you have to help them out as they age. They sacrificed a lot for you, as you know.

OP, no offense, but you’re a piece of trolling garbage! No one living in a $1M+ home, making more than double the median US HHI, and sporting the luxury of a SAHM has any legitimate grounds for complaining about their financial woes. You’re clearly either a troll or a very greedy, entitled, and lazy individual. Your writing style and precision implementation of grammatical form is hardly representative of that from a South Korean native. Nice try, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:2nd gen Korean American woman here. My parents immigrated here in their mid to late 30s before I was born and my dad worked in IT. He capped out with a salary below $110K when he retired. My mom stayed home once I was born to raise the kids.

What kind of car do you drive, OP? My parents always had a cheap car compared to the other Korean families I knew. My mom only bought clothes off the sale racks. I never had brand name clothes growing up unless it was handed down to us by another Korean family. We lived in a tiny 3-bdrm ranch house. They refused to try to “keep up with the Kims”.

My dad put us kids through good private colleges. We graduated with loans, but are all doing well as adults. I worked in finance in NYC. By the way, these jobs are hugely stressful. Wall Street firms routinely fire low performers. The pressure to perform and the long hours are intense.

My dad always says how grateful he feels that they do not have to ask us for money and we do not have to ask our parents for money. Your sacrifice is small to what my dad endured. He worked dangerous blue collar jobs to support himself and send money home before he got his education. Being underpaid in white collar corporate America was the most he ever achieved, and I am incredibly proud of him.

My parents have continued to live within their means as retirees. My mom doesn’t have any designer purses or clothes, nor does she value or expect them. They place no expectations or guilt on us kids to support them, although we took them on a big vacation this year that they unsuccessfully tried to help pay for.

I hope that you’ll adjust your expectations and your lifestyle, if appropriate. Your daughter was raised here, and she will feel resentment for having to help her parents financially, especially if you are living a lifestyle in which you are trying to keep up with flashy Korean families. It will hurt your relationship with her.

OP here. Okay, finally someone who gets it. We have only one car (which is rare in this area), and it’s a 12 year-old Toyota. We live as frugally as your parents, it seems like.

Also, how is it possible that your dad worked “dangerous blue collar jobs” but also worked in IT?

I get that NYC finance is hard. My daughter complains a lot about the hours. But I hope my daughter doesn’t feel resentment for trying to help me and my wife in retirement. It’s part of our culture, as you know. I hope that you don’t feel resentful towards your parents when you have to help them out as they age. They sacrificed a lot for you, as you know.

She will absolutely resent you. And her spouse definitely will. Especially when your daughter has to bust her a$$ as a working mom so her mom never had to work at all.

Many, arguably most, first-gen Korean women in this area give up their careers to be SAHMs and raise their kids to be high achievers. Besides, I’ve already mentioned before that my wife has worked part-time in the US in retail (and then full-time for one year before she got fired).

That is simply not true. Stop spreading falsehood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:2nd gen Korean American woman here. My parents immigrated here in their mid to late 30s before I was born and my dad worked in IT. He capped out with a salary below $110K when he retired. My mom stayed home once I was born to raise the kids.

What kind of car do you drive, OP? My parents always had a cheap car compared to the other Korean families I knew. My mom only bought clothes off the sale racks. I never had brand name clothes growing up unless it was handed down to us by another Korean family. We lived in a tiny 3-bdrm ranch house. They refused to try to “keep up with the Kims”.

My dad put us kids through good private colleges. We graduated with loans, but are all doing well as adults. I worked in finance in NYC. By the way, these jobs are hugely stressful. Wall Street firms routinely fire low performers. The pressure to perform and the long hours are intense.

My dad always says how grateful he feels that they do not have to ask us for money and we do not have to ask our parents for money. Your sacrifice is small to what my dad endured. He worked dangerous blue collar jobs to support himself and send money home before he got his education. Being underpaid in white collar corporate America was the most he ever achieved, and I am incredibly proud of him.

My parents have continued to live within their means as retirees. My mom doesn’t have any designer purses or clothes, nor does she value or expect them. They place no expectations or guilt on us kids to support them, although we took them on a big vacation this year that they unsuccessfully tried to help pay for.

I hope that you’ll adjust your expectations and your lifestyle, if appropriate. Your daughter was raised here, and she will feel resentment for having to help her parents financially, especially if you are living a lifestyle in which you are trying to keep up with flashy Korean families. It will hurt your relationship with her.

OP here. Okay, finally someone who gets it. We have only one car (which is rare in this area), and it’s a 12 year-old Toyota. We live as frugally as your parents, it seems like.

Also, how is it possible that your dad worked “dangerous blue collar jobs” but also worked in IT?

I get that NYC finance is hard. My daughter complains a lot about the hours. But I hope my daughter doesn’t feel resentment for trying to help me and my wife in retirement. It’s part of our culture, as you know. I hope that you don’t feel resentful towards your parents when you have to help them out as they age. They sacrificed a lot for you, as you know.

I hope she doesn’t just resent you (which is a given) but cuts you off entirely. I can’t believe how tone deaf you are. The pp is not supporting you, she is trying to tell you how wrong you are. Your misplaced values have no place here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:2nd gen Korean American woman here. My parents immigrated here in their mid to late 30s before I was born and my dad worked in IT. He capped out with a salary below $110K when he retired. My mom stayed home once I was born to raise the kids.

What kind of car do you drive, OP? My parents always had a cheap car compared to the other Korean families I knew. My mom only bought clothes off the sale racks. I never had brand name clothes growing up unless it was handed down to us by another Korean family. We lived in a tiny 3-bdrm ranch house. They refused to try to “keep up with the Kims”.

My dad put us kids through good private colleges. We graduated with loans, but are all doing well as adults. I worked in finance in NYC. By the way, these jobs are hugely stressful. Wall Street firms routinely fire low performers. The pressure to perform and the long hours are intense.

My dad always says how grateful he feels that they do not have to ask us for money and we do not have to ask our parents for money. Your sacrifice is small to what my dad endured. He worked dangerous blue collar jobs to support himself and send money home before he got his education. Being underpaid in white collar corporate America was the most he ever achieved, and I am incredibly proud of him.

My parents have continued to live within their means as retirees. My mom doesn’t have any designer purses or clothes, nor does she value or expect them. They place no expectations or guilt on us kids to support them, although we took them on a big vacation this year that they unsuccessfully tried to help pay for.

I hope that you’ll adjust your expectations and your lifestyle, if appropriate. Your daughter was raised here, and she will feel resentment for having to help her parents financially, especially if you are living a lifestyle in which you are trying to keep up with flashy Korean families. It will hurt your relationship with her.

OP here. Okay, finally someone who gets it. We have only one car (which is rare in this area), and it’s a 12 year-old Toyota. We live as frugally as your parents, it seems like.

Also, how is it possible that your dad worked “dangerous blue collar jobs” but also worked in IT?

I get that NYC finance is hard. My daughter complains a lot about the hours. But I hope my daughter doesn’t feel resentment for trying to help me and my wife in retirement. It’s part of our culture, as you know. I hope that you don’t feel resentful towards your parents when you have to help them out as they age. They sacrificed a lot for you, as you know.

OP, no offense, but you’re a piece of trolling garbage! No one living in a $1M+ home, making more than double the median US HHI, and sporting the luxury of a SAHM has any legitimate grounds for complaining about their financial woes. You’re clearly either a troll or a very greedy, entitled, and lazy individual. Your writing style and precision implementation of grammatical form is hardly representative of that from a South Korean native. Nice try, though.

The writing was so good that I pictured an Indian guy talking in anxiety until OP revealed south Korea. And I was amazed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:2nd gen Korean American woman here. My parents immigrated here in their mid to late 30s before I was born and my dad worked in IT. He capped out with a salary below $110K when he retired. My mom stayed home once I was born to raise the kids.

What kind of car do you drive, OP? My parents always had a cheap car compared to the other Korean families I knew. My mom only bought clothes off the sale racks. I never had brand name clothes growing up unless it was handed down to us by another Korean family. We lived in a tiny 3-bdrm ranch house. They refused to try to “keep up with the Kims”.

My dad put us kids through good private colleges. We graduated with loans, but are all doing well as adults. I worked in finance in NYC. By the way, these jobs are hugely stressful. Wall Street firms routinely fire low performers. The pressure to perform and the long hours are intense.

My dad always says how grateful he feels that they do not have to ask us for money and we do not have to ask our parents for money. Your sacrifice is small to what my dad endured. He worked dangerous blue collar jobs to support himself and send money home before he got his education. Being underpaid in white collar corporate America was the most he ever achieved, and I am incredibly proud of him.

My parents have continued to live within their means as retirees. My mom doesn’t have any designer purses or clothes, nor does she value or expect them. They place no expectations or guilt on us kids to support them, although we took them on a big vacation this year that they unsuccessfully tried to help pay for.

I hope that you’ll adjust your expectations and your lifestyle, if appropriate. Your daughter was raised here, and she will feel resentment for having to help her parents financially, especially if you are living a lifestyle in which you are trying to keep up with flashy Korean families. It will hurt your relationship with her.

OP here. Okay, finally someone who gets it. We have only one car (which is rare in this area), and it’s a 12 year-old Toyota. We live as frugally as your parents, it seems like.

Also, how is it possible that your dad worked “dangerous blue collar jobs” but also worked in IT?

I get that NYC finance is hard. My daughter complains a lot about the hours. But I hope my daughter doesn’t feel resentment for trying to help me and my wife in retirement. It’s part of our culture, as you know. I hope that you don’t feel resentful towards your parents when you have to help them out as they age. They sacrificed a lot for you, as you know.

OP, no offense, but you’re a piece of trolling garbage! No one living in a $1M+ home, making more than double the median US HHI, and sporting the luxury of a SAHM has any legitimate grounds for complaining about their financial woes. You’re clearly either a troll or a very greedy, entitled, and lazy individual. Your writing style and precision implementation of grammatical form is hardly representative of that from a South Korean native. Nice try, though.

The writing was so good that I pictured an Indian guy talking in anxiety until OP revealed south Korea. And I was amazed.

Op is def not South Korean who came here 15 years ago in his 30s. I can tell you that much. I think he’s been fking trolling us

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:2nd gen Korean American woman here. My parents immigrated here in their mid to late 30s before I was born and my dad worked in IT. He capped out with a salary below $110K when he retired. My mom stayed home once I was born to raise the kids.

What kind of car do you drive, OP? My parents always had a cheap car compared to the other Korean families I knew. My mom only bought clothes off the sale racks. I never had brand name clothes growing up unless it was handed down to us by another Korean family. We lived in a tiny 3-bdrm ranch house. They refused to try to “keep up with the Kims”.

My dad put us kids through good private colleges. We graduated with loans, but are all doing well as adults. I worked in finance in NYC. By the way, these jobs are hugely stressful. Wall Street firms routinely fire low performers. The pressure to perform and the long hours are intense.

My dad always says how grateful he feels that they do not have to ask us for money and we do not have to ask our parents for money. Your sacrifice is small to what my dad endured. He worked dangerous blue collar jobs to support himself and send money home before he got his education. Being underpaid in white collar corporate America was the most he ever achieved, and I am incredibly proud of him.

My parents have continued to live within their means as retirees. My mom doesn’t have any designer purses or clothes, nor does she value or expect them. They place no expectations or guilt on us kids to support them, although we took them on a big vacation this year that they unsuccessfully tried to help pay for.

I hope that you’ll adjust your expectations and your lifestyle, if appropriate. Your daughter was raised here, and she will feel resentment for having to help her parents financially, especially if you are living a lifestyle in which you are trying to keep up with flashy Korean families. It will hurt your relationship with her.

OP here. Okay, finally someone who gets it. We have only one car (which is rare in this area), and it’s a 12 year-old Toyota. We live as frugally as your parents, it seems like.

Also, how is it possible that your dad worked “dangerous blue collar jobs” but also worked in IT?

I get that NYC finance is hard. My daughter complains a lot about the hours. But I hope my daughter doesn’t feel resentment for trying to help me and my wife in retirement. It’s part of our culture, as you know. I hope that you don’t feel resentful towards your parents when you have to help them out as they age. They sacrificed a lot for you, as you know.

OP, no offense, but you’re a piece of trolling garbage! No one living in a $1M+ home, making more than double the median US HHI, and sporting the luxury of a SAHM has any legitimate grounds for complaining about their financial woes. You’re clearly either a troll or a very greedy, entitled, and lazy individual. Your writing style and precision implementation of grammatical form is hardly representative of that from a South Korean native. Nice try, though.

The writing was so good that I pictured an Indian guy talking in anxiety until OP revealed south Korea. And I was amazed.

Op is def not South Korean who came here 15 years ago in his 30s. I can tell you that much. I think he’s been fking trolling us

+1.

[Anonymous]

Behind every high achieving immigrant kid is a mom that spent years of supplementing, tutoring, monitoring classes and grades and ensuring her kid is succeeding, getting into the right honors, AP classes and extracurricular activities.

It’s actually a lot of work. So don’t bash SAHM moms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:2nd gen Korean American woman here. My parents immigrated here in their mid to late 30s before I was born and my dad worked in IT. He capped out with a salary below $110K when he retired. My mom stayed home once I was born to raise the kids.

What kind of car do you drive, OP? My parents always had a cheap car compared to the other Korean families I knew. My mom only bought clothes off the sale racks. I never had brand name clothes growing up unless it was handed down to us by another Korean family. We lived in a tiny 3-bdrm ranch house. They refused to try to “keep up with the Kims”.

My dad put us kids through good private colleges. We graduated with loans, but are all doing well as adults. I worked in finance in NYC. By the way, these jobs are hugely stressful. Wall Street firms routinely fire low performers. The pressure to perform and the long hours are intense.

My dad always says how grateful he feels that they do not have to ask us for money and we do not have to ask our parents for money. Your sacrifice is small to what my dad endured. He worked dangerous blue collar jobs to support himself and send money home before he got his education. Being underpaid in white collar corporate America was the most he ever achieved, and I am incredibly proud of him.

My parents have continued to live within their means as retirees. My mom doesn’t have any designer purses or clothes, nor does she value or expect them. They place no expectations or guilt on us kids to support them, although we took them on a big vacation this year that they unsuccessfully tried to help pay for.

I hope that you’ll adjust your expectations and your lifestyle, if appropriate. Your daughter was raised here, and she will feel resentment for having to help her parents financially, especially if you are living a lifestyle in which you are trying to keep up with flashy Korean families. It will hurt your relationship with her.

OP here. Okay, finally someone who gets it. We have only one car (which is rare in this area), and it’s a 12 year-old Toyota. We live as frugally as your parents, it seems like.

Also, how is it possible that your dad worked “dangerous blue collar jobs” but also worked in IT?

I get that NYC finance is hard. My daughter complains a lot about the hours. But I hope my daughter doesn’t feel resentment for trying to help me and my wife in retirement. It’s part of our culture, as you know. I hope that you don’t feel resentful towards your parents when you have to help them out as they age. They sacrificed a lot for you, as you know.

OP, no offense, but you’re a piece of trolling garbage! No one living in a $1M+ home, making more than double the median US HHI, and sporting the luxury of a SAHM has any legitimate grounds for complaining about their financial woes. You’re clearly either a troll or a very greedy, entitled, and lazy individual. Your writing style and precision implementation of grammatical form is hardly representative of that from a South Korean native. Nice try, though.

The writing was so good that I pictured an Indian guy talking in anxiety until OP revealed south Korea. And I was amazed.

Op is def not South Korean who came here 15 years ago in his 30s. I can tell you that much. I think he’s been fking trolling us

I’m also starting to think op is just a troll trying to make immigrants look bad

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Behind every high achieving immigrant kid is a mom that spent years of supplementing, tutoring, monitoring classes and grades and ensuring her kid is succeeding, getting into the right honors, AP classes and extracurricular activities.

It’s actually a lot of work. So don’t bash SAHM moms.

Just SAHms who still refuse to work even when their children are no longer living in the house then expect their children to bankroll them for the rest of their lives

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:2nd gen Korean American woman here. My parents immigrated here in their mid to late 30s before I was born and my dad worked in IT. He capped out with a salary below $110K when he retired. My mom stayed home once I was born to raise the kids.

What kind of car do you drive, OP? My parents always had a cheap car compared to the other Korean families I knew. My mom only bought clothes off the sale racks. I never had brand name clothes growing up unless it was handed down to us by another Korean family. We lived in a tiny 3-bdrm ranch house. They refused to try to “keep up with the Kims”.

My dad put us kids through good private colleges. We graduated with loans, but are all doing well as adults. I worked in finance in NYC. By the way, these jobs are hugely stressful. Wall Street firms routinely fire low performers. The pressure to perform and the long hours are intense.

My dad always says how grateful he feels that they do not have to ask us for money and we do not have to ask our parents for money. Your sacrifice is small to what my dad endured. He worked dangerous blue collar jobs to support himself and send money home before he got his education. Being underpaid in white collar corporate America was the most he ever achieved, and I am incredibly proud of him.

My parents have continued to live within their means as retirees. My mom doesn’t have any designer purses or clothes, nor does she value or expect them. They place no expectations or guilt on us kids to support them, although we took them on a big vacation this year that they unsuccessfully tried to help pay for.

I hope that you’ll adjust your expectations and your lifestyle, if appropriate. Your daughter was raised here, and she will feel resentment for having to help her parents financially, especially if you are living a lifestyle in which you are trying to keep up with flashy Korean families. It will hurt your relationship with her.

OP here. Okay, finally someone who gets it. We have only one car (which is rare in this area), and it’s a 12 year-old Toyota. We live as frugally as your parents, it seems like.

Also, how is it possible that your dad worked “dangerous blue collar jobs” but also worked in IT?

I get that NYC finance is hard. My daughter complains a lot about the hours. But I hope my daughter doesn’t feel resentment for trying to help me and my wife in retirement. It’s part of our culture, as you know. I hope that you don’t feel resentful towards your parents when you have to help them out as they age. They sacrificed a lot for you, as you know.

She will absolutely resent you. And her spouse definitely will. Especially when your daughter has to bust her a$$ as a working mom so her mom never had to work at all.

Many, arguably most, first-gen Korean women in this area give up their careers to be SAHMs and raise their kids to be high achievers. Besides, I’ve already mentioned before that my wife has worked part-time in the US in retail (and then full-time for one year before she got fired).

That is simply not true. Stop spreading falsehood.

Also OP’s only child graduated college already, why is she still a SAHM when you are worrying about retirement ???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Behind every high achieving immigrant kid is a mom that spent years of supplementing, tutoring, monitoring classes and grades and ensuring her kid is succeeding, getting into the right honors, AP classes and extracurricular activities.

It’s actually a lot of work. So don’t bash SAHM moms.

There are lot of Working mom of high achieving immigrant kid doing the same, and won’t burden the kids with their retirements

[Anonymous]

This is just a bad plan for retirement, even if she is willing to, she may not be able to support you down the road.
What if her future husbands also have families to support, health issues, special needs kids etc and she needs to be a a SAHM ? I think you should count on yourself for retirement, you wife should find work when she is still young and able to

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:2nd gen Korean American woman here. My parents immigrated here in their mid to late 30s before I was born and my dad worked in IT. He capped out with a salary below $110K when he retired. My mom stayed home once I was born to raise the kids.

What kind of car do you drive, OP? My parents always had a cheap car compared to the other Korean families I knew. My mom only bought clothes off the sale racks. I never had brand name clothes growing up unless it was handed down to us by another Korean family. We lived in a tiny 3-bdrm ranch house. They refused to try to “keep up with the Kims”.

My dad put us kids through good private colleges. We graduated with loans, but are all doing well as adults. I worked in finance in NYC. By the way, these jobs are hugely stressful. Wall Street firms routinely fire low performers. The pressure to perform and the long hours are intense.

My dad always says how grateful he feels that they do not have to ask us for money and we do not have to ask our parents for money. Your sacrifice is small to what my dad endured. He worked dangerous blue collar jobs to support himself and send money home before he got his education. Being underpaid in white collar corporate America was the most he ever achieved, and I am incredibly proud of him.

My parents have continued to live within their means as retirees. My mom doesn’t have any designer purses or clothes, nor does she value or expect them. They place no expectations or guilt on us kids to support them, although we took them on a big vacation this year that they unsuccessfully tried to help pay for.

I hope that you’ll adjust your expectations and your lifestyle, if appropriate. Your daughter was raised here, and she will feel resentment for having to help her parents financially, especially if you are living a lifestyle in which you are trying to keep up with flashy Korean families. It will hurt your relationship with her.

OP here. Okay, finally someone who gets it. We have only one car (which is rare in this area), and it’s a 12 year-old Toyota. We live as frugally as your parents, it seems like.

Also, how is it possible that your dad worked “dangerous blue collar jobs” but also worked in IT?

I get that NYC finance is hard. My daughter complains a lot about the hours. But I hope my daughter doesn’t feel resentment for trying to help me and my wife in retirement. It’s part of our culture, as you know. I hope that you don’t feel resentful towards your parents when you have to help them out as they age. They sacrificed a lot for you, as you know.

OP, no offense, but you’re a piece of trolling garbage! No one living in a $1M+ home, making more than double the median US HHI, and sporting the luxury of a SAHM has any legitimate grounds for complaining about their financial woes. You’re clearly either a troll or a very greedy, entitled, and lazy individual. Your writing style and precision implementation of grammatical form is hardly representative of that from a South Korean native. Nice try, though.

The writing was so good that I pictured an Indian guy talking in anxiety until OP revealed south Korea. And I was amazed.

Op is def not South Korean who came here 15 years ago in his 30s. I can tell you that much. I think he’s been fking trolling us

I’m also starting to think op is just a troll trying to make immigrants look bad

OP here. Okay, fine. You caught me. I’m not who I say I am. But I’m not trolling either.

I’m the daughter in this situation. I graduated from an HYPS this past June with $30k in FAFSA loans, and my parents took out another $30k in 401k loans to meet my EFC (which was after my college gave me significant amounts of financial aid). I work 90 hrs/week in Investment Banking and absolutely despise the job. But my parents (who I’ve described accurately throughout this entire thread) have always told me how proud they are of me in landing this job, and how they’re elated that I’m making so much money so young.

Their finances are exactly as I’ve described in this thread, and they’ve told me multiple times that my high income will be helpful as I’ll have to support them in retirement. I’ve never suggested that my mom get a job, although this thread is making me rethinking that. She was really hurt when she got fired from her admin assistant job a couple of years ago, and has really hated the idea of re-entering the workforce ever since.

And yes, my parents constantly guilt-trip me with the whole Korean “we sacrificed everything for you! So we expect you to support us when we retire!” My dad told me a few months ago that he’s not worried about his paltry 401k or lack of retirement accounts since he knows he can “rely on me to take care of him and my mom as they get older.”

Being an only child makes this worse. I feel a lot of pressure on me. I HATE investment banking with a burning passion, but I feel tied down to my awful job. I don’t know.