DH embarrassed by my outfit for bbq

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It looks more like mustard, but I can see why he asked you to change.

Damn a lot of you posters are used to your husbands hating you. There are better men out there, raise your standards ladies

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Just to clarify for those saying I looked ridiculous and like Big Bird, below is a link to the actual shirt, and I wore it with blue denim jeans, NOT anything black.

https://poshmark.com/listing/NWT-Jcrew-Cotton-Off-The-Shoulder-Top-F2059-Shirt-Blouse-61996a67bcdb2f044ca41ebb?utm_source=gdm&utm_campaign=9886005321&campaign_id=9886005321&ad_partner=google&gskid=pla-1187535741595&gcid=431634791276&ggid=103371076954&gdid=c&g_network=g&enable_guest_buy_flow=true&gclid=CjwKCAjwquWVBhBrEiwAt1KmwobhcGqGiw9ZD7MhMiLF_sRhiMDK-bSDxdPxH0Krh6o7HCWqyOAMCBoCthEQAvD_BwE

Cute top and zi bet you looked adorable.

But Ozp, I'm concerned you chose to post the short.

That tells me you still think you did something wrong that your husband's behavior was justified.

It was not okay and you need to take the earnings to get out seriously

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I came downstairs ready to go to a friend’s bbq with DH and our two DC. When DH saw me he flipped out. I was wearing a yellow JCREW off the shoulder top and jeans. He told me I looked like an insect because of the top being bright yellow, and said to our boys, “doesn’t mom look like a bumble bee”. He asked me to change and I said no. He said he would go without me then, which he did (and took the kids).

He called me several times during the bbq and I didn’t answer. I think he feels bad now. I left the house so I wasn’t home when he got back. What would you do?

Was it yellow top and black pants? That probably could make you look like a bumble bee. But yellow top and blue jeans would actually look nice.

OK? Why is so angry and why are you so quick to take offense? Dude!!!! You actually have bigger resentments simmering. And the fact that you have two small kids - oh, oh, oh! This is the shit phase of parenting. Most stressful. You both need to simmer down and learn to communicate better.

Yeah, no. Did you miss the part where he left without her?

Yeah, no, she did not change right? He then called several times and she did not pick up the phone, right? Neither of them are making good decisions. They both sound immature and their feelings are getting hurt quite a lot. All of which is fine by itself. Unfortunately, they have also produced two kids and this can and will impact them.

She doesn’t need to change, fool. He doesn’t decree what she can and cannot wear on HER body.

You're right he can't make her change, but he Can choose to leave without her.. Why does she need to make a big deal out of her husband not liking her outfit? Why ruin a day with her family because she's too stubborn and selfish to change her shirt? Marriage is about compromise, sometimes that means changing your clothes. Hardly a difficult task to avoid a heated argument and marital / family issues over.

+1 THIS

Learn to compromise lady

Nah. Nope. That's not it. She's an adult and can wear whatever she chooses. She doesn't need a man who tells her what to wear or makes fun of her because he doesn't like her outfit. Teasing her in front of the kids was a controlling move to make her feel bad so that she would change. Compromise in marriage is not about outfit changes or telling her to "stop stuffing her face" while eating. He's a jerk and so are you for agreeing with him.

Nah. Nope. She is not a single woman who can dress up like Honey Boo Boo's mom in public. She is going out with her family and she cannot embarrass them by dressing like a bumble bee who should have stopped stuffing her face several sizes ago.

Besides, women are critical of how their spouse and children dress all the time and no one would have criticized her if she had objected to her DH wearing a hideous outfit for a public outing.

No. She’s a married woman who “can dress” ANY DAMN WAY SHE PLEASES.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Just to clarify for those saying I looked ridiculous and like Big Bird, below is a link to the actual shirt, and I wore it with blue denim jeans, NOT anything black.

https://poshmark.com/listing/NWT-Jcrew-Cotton-Off-The-Shoulder-Top-F2059-Shirt-Blouse-61996a67bcdb2f044ca41ebb?utm_source=gdm&utm_campaign=9886005321&campaign_id=9886005321&ad_partner=google&gskid=pla-1187535741595&gcid=431634791276&ggid=103371076954&gdid=c&g_network=g&enable_guest_buy_flow=true&gclid=CjwKCAjwquWVBhBrEiwAt1KmwobhcGqGiw9ZD7MhMiLF_sRhiMDK-bSDxdPxH0Krh6o7HCWqyOAMCBoCthEQAvD_BwE

That color is very on trend at the moment and looks beautiful if you have the right coloring. Has been all over the red carpet the last couple of years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can’t believe how split the comments are. I’m sorry for all of you people who think this is normal and acceptable behavior in a relationship.

It’s not “all of you people.” It’s the same person, or two at the most, bleating the “both sides” and “growing up to do” nonsense. Their writing style and word choice makes it blatantly obvious.

Don’t feed the trolls.

[Anonymous]

OP, your husband is terrible. He's not giving you credible fashion advice. The outfit is pefectly cute - and if it didn't work on you, I can't imagine it's because it made you look like a bumblebee. I appreciate when my DH says stuff like "that washes you out" or "it's not a flattering fit". What your DH did is not helpful. It's just an insulting and strange view, and has to be explained as an effort to control your behavior or your feelings, as many others already said. The nail in the coffin of course is that he didn't offer his opinion and leave it at that. He punished you for not doing what he said. That's outrageous. If you want to be a woman who takes direction from her husband, that's your prerogative, but you clearly don't (otherwise you wouldn't have posted), and so I really see this situation as a clear indication of a more serious problem in your DH's attitude toward you. I wouldn't let it go. Given that you have kids, I would try couples therapy first before jumping to divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It looks more like mustard, but I can see why he asked you to change.

um, putting aside your questinoable fashion sense, can you also see why he demanded - not asked - that she change and punished her when she refused by leaving her behind?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So let me see if I got this right. You dressed up as a bee. Your husband got mad, made fun of you, and took the kids to a BBQ. You came to post on DCUM.

In reality: Your husband wanted some honey from his bumblebee and you denied him. He threw a tantrum and went to his friends BBQ with the kids. You came to post on DCUM.

Holy crap, this is one of the most dishonest, mean posts I've encountered on DCUM, which is saying a lot.

[Anonymous]

OP, you should buy the Valentino version for $2400 and wear it to the next social event out of spite: https://www.farfetch.com/shopping/women/valentino-off-shoulder-silk-blouse-item-18344744.aspx?fsb=1&size=20&storeid=9442

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women need to stay away from men who treat them like shit. Don’t date them, don’t have sex with them, don’t live with them, don’t marry them. Don’t rant at them, don’t negotiate with them, and don’t explain. As soon as it happens, turn around and walk away. It will benefit you immensely. But if we all do it, it will actually change the world.

Love this

Completely agree. Love is Respect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It looks more like mustard, but I can see why he asked you to change.

Wtf. It’s a cute and appropriate outfit. If my DH asked me to change for anything I’d be livid. I am not a doll or property or something that needs to be tweaked before being rolled out in front of his friends. His behavior also showed the kids that looks matter, it’s ok to be superficial, it’s ok to be condescending and controlling, etc.

[Anonymous]

It's a cute top for summer. Your husband sucks. You're going to need to thicken your skin and care less about his opinions until you can make an exit. If he doesn't care about your feelings then don't care about his.

[Anonymous]

It was a very cute top. My DH would be happy I put in the effort to wear something more than my usual exercise clothes. None of this sounds ok

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It looks more like mustard, but I can see why he asked you to change.

You’re an idiot.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:The only thing OP said her DH did was make fun of her outfit. It's not clear if he refused to let her come to the party unless she changed, or if OP was pissed off at his bumblebee comment and refused to go to the party. The first scenario is abuse. The second scenario is super immaturity on OP's part.

I am surprised so many people are calling him abusive when OP's original facts are so lacking.

OP - we need more info.

Enough of your trolling!

There's absolutely nothing that can justify OP's husband mocking her outfit , having their children movk her outfit. Getting upset when she didn't change and then taking their kids and leaving because he didn't get his way.
That's abusive behavior period.

We don't excuse abusive behavior on DCUM so I suggest you go troll elsewhere.

If my DH's outfit looks absurd, like shirt too short and pants too low, I tell him I won't be seen with him, and our daughter mocks him too until he changes. Its because we care that he not embarass himself.

I just don't understand the double standard here. If you are a true feminist like me (I am a 3rd generation college educated mother, financially independent, and the bread winner of my home), well then it goes both ways. If I look like a bumble bee, I want to know too.

So you would leave your dh behind because you didn't agree with an outfit? Hey, women can be controlling and abusive too! Congrats!

No. He values my input and would just change, and so would I. There would be no argument, and we would happily attend the BBQ together.