Why American teens are so sad - four main takeaways

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Best thing I did was send my daughter to a private school that does not allow cell phones.

They have limited computer time as well


I have heard parents rationalize kids have to have cell phones for school shootings. Just wow

Curious as to how old your daugther is? A boy in my kid's class that did not get a phone until high school is now on every bad site out there.

What does that have to do with anything? You don’t think staring at a screen all day from K-12th has repercussions? So the boy is on all the “bad sites” at age 15 instead of 8? How is that a bad thing? LOL

Not the PP, but my daughter’s school they must be locked in the lockers. If seen (not even being used) they get AM detention, meaning the parents have to drive them in an hour before school starts. It works amazingly well.

I have not idea why phones are not banned in all public schools. There is absolutely no reason for them and they are a huge distraction. I was SHOCKED when our elementary school started to allow them. And why? Because moms wanted a way to reach their kid? Like um no. CALL THE SCHOOL

I am also surprised they are not banned at least during school hours. The only reason you would really need one is to tell a parent a practice was cancelled or something and you could do that after school is over and just wait for them to pick you up.

Cell phones are banned at our school. But kids are on them at home all the time. The issue is all social communication happens through the cell phone. Texting, FaceTime whatever. Friends live some distance from each other…with no way to get to each other..(parents work, or are otherwise busy and can’t drop them off). Also kids are over scheduled with activities, so can’t devote blocks of time to see each other. So they text and play games (apps) with each other.

I’d love my kid to invite friends over I but she doesn’t want to. It’s not what kids do!

Friday nights are friend's night at my house. Cell phones are placed in a bowl and the kids have free range of the entire basement and backyard. Sometimes they watch movies, play board games, just hang out and eat. We have the classic Wii down there and that is used a ton too. They aren't into shuffleboard as much but we have that new trendy hook game and a giant magnetic dark board. Also one small section of wall mirrors and a cheap karaoke machine. One night they learned how to play poker and had my husband teach them and player dealer/cashier. We have a firepit so they do smores a lot too. And my god, all of these 12-13yr olds still love to swing on our swing set. I added solar LED lights to it. Am considering a ping pong table for under the deck or a trampoline for this summer. My daughter has my old Canon digital camera so they take pics and after the night is over she uploads them and sends them out to everyone so they can add them to social media. If anyone needs their phone, they are allowed to come upstairs and use it at anytime. They just can't bring it down the basement. Most come up 1-2 a night for a few minutes each to text a parent or probably check messages. But you would be surprised how little they want it when no one else has it.

They also bike to the pool a lot in the summer. On their own. I haven't been to the pool since she was 9 or 10 years old. Her and her friends go alone.
Our neighborhood started cul de sac nights where kids ages 10 and older meet at certain cul de sacs to play capture the flag, jail break, kick the can, etc... No parents allowed.

So yes PP it absolutely can be what kids do. They want it and they need it. You are doing a disservice otherwise

I was all in until you got to the bolded. Sounds like lots of fun and I commend you for your efforts. But while that is a huge boost to the mental health of those who are invited, as soon as those pics go up on social media, it makes a dent in the mental health of those who weren’t. This is why social media is such a huge part of the picture. Adults can’t handle feelings of being left out, can you imagine being 12 or 13 and having to feel like everyone else is out there having the best time?

Part of growing up is making and keeping your own friends and know that everyone has their own life and may be different than you. People shouldn’t be silent about what they did Friday night or where they went or an award they won because someone else supposedly makes themselves butthurt about it somehow. Wtf.

What people “should” or “shouldn’t” be is different from what they actually feel. The “everyone has their own life” lesson is a process and feelings are very much involved. Social media makes it a lot harder to set abs enforce the boundaries to manage. The platform algorithms are optimised for continued engagement…they are hacking our brains. That’s done through emotional manipulation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Best thing I did was send my daughter to a private school that does not allow cell phones.

They have limited computer time as well


I have heard parents rationalize kids have to have cell phones for school shootings. Just wow

Curious as to how old your daugther is? A boy in my kid's class that did not get a phone until high school is now on every bad site out there.

What does that have to do with anything? You don’t think staring at a screen all day from K-12th has repercussions? So the boy is on all the “bad sites” at age 15 instead of 8? How is that a bad thing? LOL

Not the PP, but my daughter’s school they must be locked in the lockers. If seen (not even being used) they get AM detention, meaning the parents have to drive them in an hour before school starts. It works amazingly well.

I have not idea why phones are not banned in all public schools. There is absolutely no reason for them and they are a huge distraction. I was SHOCKED when our elementary school started to allow them. And why? Because moms wanted a way to reach their kid? Like um no. CALL THE SCHOOL

I am also surprised they are not banned at least during school hours. The only reason you would really need one is to tell a parent a practice was cancelled or something and you could do that after school is over and just wait for them to pick you up.

Cell phones are banned at our school. But kids are on them at home all the time. The issue is all social communication happens through the cell phone. Texting, FaceTime whatever. Friends live some distance from each other…with no way to get to each other..(parents work, or are otherwise busy and can’t drop them off). Also kids are over scheduled with activities, so can’t devote blocks of time to see each other. So they text and play games (apps) with each other.

I’d love my kid to invite friends over I but she doesn’t want to. It’s not what kids do!

Friday nights are friend's night at my house. Cell phones are placed in a bowl and the kids have free range of the entire basement and backyard. Sometimes they watch movies, play board games, just hang out and eat. We have the classic Wii down there and that is used a ton too. They aren't into shuffleboard as much but we have that new trendy hook game and a giant magnetic dark board. Also one small section of wall mirrors and a cheap karaoke machine. One night they learned how to play poker and had my husband teach them and player dealer/cashier. We have a firepit so they do smores a lot too. And my god, all of these 12-13yr olds still love to swing on our swing set. I added solar LED lights to it. Am considering a ping pong table for under the deck or a trampoline for this summer. My daughter has my old Canon digital camera so they take pics and after the night is over she uploads them and sends them out to everyone so they can add them to social media. If anyone needs their phone, they are allowed to come upstairs and use it at anytime. They just can't bring it down the basement. Most come up 1-2 a night for a few minutes each to text a parent or probably check messages. But you would be surprised how little they want it when no one else has it.

They also bike to the pool a lot in the summer. On their own. I haven't been to the pool since she was 9 or 10 years old. Her and her friends go alone.
Our neighborhood started cul de sac nights where kids ages 10 and older meet at certain cul de sacs to play capture the flag, jail break, kick the can, etc... No parents allowed.

So yes PP it absolutely can be what kids do. They want it and they need it. You are doing a disservice otherwise

I was all in until you got to the bolded. Sounds like lots of fun and I commend you for your efforts. But while that is a huge boost to the mental health of those who are invited, as soon as those pics go up on social media, it makes a dent in the mental health of those who weren’t. This is why social media is such a huge part of the picture. Adults can’t handle feelings of being left out, can you imagine being 12 or 13 and having to feel like everyone else is out there having the best time?

LOL

Sounds like you are part of the everyone gets a trophy edition.

Not everyone gets invited to things sweetie. And as an adult and even as a teen I knew this.

No need to keep it on the down low. Live your life. Not the PP but you are ridiculous.

Yes, live your life! LIVE it, but no need to keep posting pics, because you were there! Tell your kids. They’ll be better off for not participating in the charade.

I still have 15 photo albums of my teen years. I literally had a wrist loop around my digital camera and brought it everywhere. Those albums and memories are some of my favorites. Bringing them all to my 25th reunion in November.

Teens are allowed to post photos. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it. Stop trying to guilt people into being miserable instead of NORMAL teens

Of course they’re allowed to post photos and I don’t think it’s cyber bullying by any stretch. But if you can’t see the difference between a photo album that you put together and a platform that depends on manipulating teen emotions and desires in order to make money, then you’re completely missing the point about social media as it relates to mental health, which is what this thread is about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Best thing I did was send my daughter to a private school that does not allow cell phones.

They have limited computer time as well


I have heard parents rationalize kids have to have cell phones for school shootings. Just wow

Curious as to how old your daugther is? A boy in my kid's class that did not get a phone until high school is now on every bad site out there.

What does that have to do with anything? You don’t think staring at a screen all day from K-12th has repercussions? So the boy is on all the “bad sites” at age 15 instead of 8? How is that a bad thing? LOL

Not the PP, but my daughter’s school they must be locked in the lockers. If seen (not even being used) they get AM detention, meaning the parents have to drive them in an hour before school starts. It works amazingly well.

I have not idea why phones are not banned in all public schools. There is absolutely no reason for them and they are a huge distraction. I was SHOCKED when our elementary school started to allow them. And why? Because moms wanted a way to reach their kid? Like um no. CALL THE SCHOOL

I am also surprised they are not banned at least during school hours. The only reason you would really need one is to tell a parent a practice was cancelled or something and you could do that after school is over and just wait for them to pick you up.

Cell phones are banned at our school. But kids are on them at home all the time. The issue is all social communication happens through the cell phone. Texting, FaceTime whatever. Friends live some distance from each other…with no way to get to each other..(parents work, or are otherwise busy and can’t drop them off). Also kids are over scheduled with activities, so can’t devote blocks of time to see each other. So they text and play games (apps) with each other.

I’d love my kid to invite friends over I but she doesn’t want to. It’s not what kids do!

Friday nights are friend's night at my house. Cell phones are placed in a bowl and the kids have free range of the entire basement and backyard. Sometimes they watch movies, play board games, just hang out and eat. We have the classic Wii down there and that is used a ton too. They aren't into shuffleboard as much but we have that new trendy hook game and a giant magnetic dark board. Also one small section of wall mirrors and a cheap karaoke machine. One night they learned how to play poker and had my husband teach them and player dealer/cashier. We have a firepit so they do smores a lot too. And my god, all of these 12-13yr olds still love to swing on our swing set. I added solar LED lights to it. Am considering a ping pong table for under the deck or a trampoline for this summer. My daughter has my old Canon digital camera so they take pics and after the night is over she uploads them and sends them out to everyone so they can add them to social media. If anyone needs their phone, they are allowed to come upstairs and use it at anytime. They just can't bring it down the basement. Most come up 1-2 a night for a few minutes each to text a parent or probably check messages. But you would be surprised how little they want it when no one else has it.

They also bike to the pool a lot in the summer. On their own. I haven't been to the pool since she was 9 or 10 years old. Her and her friends go alone.
Our neighborhood started cul de sac nights where kids ages 10 and older meet at certain cul de sacs to play capture the flag, jail break, kick the can, etc... No parents allowed.

So yes PP it absolutely can be what kids do. They want it and they need it. You are doing a disservice otherwise

I was all in until you got to the bolded. Sounds like lots of fun and I commend you for your efforts. But while that is a huge boost to the mental health of those who are invited, as soon as those pics go up on social media, it makes a dent in the mental health of those who weren’t. This is why social media is such a huge part of the picture. Adults can’t handle feelings of being left out, can you imagine being 12 or 13 and having to feel like everyone else is out there having the best time?

Part of growing up is making and keeping your own friends and know that everyone has their own life and may be different than you. People shouldn’t be silent about what they did Friday night or where they went or an award they won because someone else supposedly makes themselves butthurt about it somehow. Wtf.

What people “should” or “shouldn’t” be is different from what they actually feel. The “everyone has their own life” lesson is a process and feelings are very much involved. Social media makes it a lot harder to set abs enforce the boundaries to manage. The platform algorithms are optimised for continued engagement…they are hacking our brains. That’s done through emotional manipulation.

A lot of people simply refuse to acknowledge the bolded and think it’s all about “self control.” BS. There are internet addiction treatment rehabs for a reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Best thing I did was send my daughter to a private school that does not allow cell phones.

They have limited computer time as well


I have heard parents rationalize kids have to have cell phones for school shootings. Just wow

Curious as to how old your daugther is? A boy in my kid's class that did not get a phone until high school is now on every bad site out there.

What does that have to do with anything? You don’t think staring at a screen all day from K-12th has repercussions? So the boy is on all the “bad sites” at age 15 instead of 8? How is that a bad thing? LOL

Not the PP, but my daughter’s school they must be locked in the lockers. If seen (not even being used) they get AM detention, meaning the parents have to drive them in an hour before school starts. It works amazingly well.

I have not idea why phones are not banned in all public schools. There is absolutely no reason for them and they are a huge distraction. I was SHOCKED when our elementary school started to allow them. And why? Because moms wanted a way to reach their kid? Like um no. CALL THE SCHOOL

I am also surprised they are not banned at least during school hours. The only reason you would really need one is to tell a parent a practice was cancelled or something and you could do that after school is over and just wait for them to pick you up.

Cell phones are banned at our school. But kids are on them at home all the time. The issue is all social communication happens through the cell phone. Texting, FaceTime whatever. Friends live some distance from each other…with no way to get to each other..(parents work, or are otherwise busy and can’t drop them off). Also kids are over scheduled with activities, so can’t devote blocks of time to see each other. So they text and play games (apps) with each other.

I’d love my kid to invite friends over I but she doesn’t want to. It’s not what kids do!

Friday nights are friend's night at my house. Cell phones are placed in a bowl and the kids have free range of the entire basement and backyard. Sometimes they watch movies, play board games, just hang out and eat. We have the classic Wii down there and that is used a ton too. They aren't into shuffleboard as much but we have that new trendy hook game and a giant magnetic dark board. Also one small section of wall mirrors and a cheap karaoke machine. One night they learned how to play poker and had my husband teach them and player dealer/cashier. We have a firepit so they do smores a lot too. And my god, all of these 12-13yr olds still love to swing on our swing set. I added solar LED lights to it. Am considering a ping pong table for under the deck or a trampoline for this summer. My daughter has my old Canon digital camera so they take pics and after the night is over she uploads them and sends them out to everyone so they can add them to social media. If anyone needs their phone, they are allowed to come upstairs and use it at anytime. They just can't bring it down the basement. Most come up 1-2 a night for a few minutes each to text a parent or probably check messages. But you would be surprised how little they want it when no one else has it.

They also bike to the pool a lot in the summer. On their own. I haven't been to the pool since she was 9 or 10 years old. Her and her friends go alone.
Our neighborhood started cul de sac nights where kids ages 10 and older meet at certain cul de sacs to play capture the flag, jail break, kick the can, etc... No parents allowed.

So yes PP it absolutely can be what kids do. They want it and they need it. You are doing a disservice otherwise

I was all in until you got to the bolded. Sounds like lots of fun and I commend you for your efforts. But while that is a huge boost to the mental health of those who are invited, as soon as those pics go up on social media, it makes a dent in the mental health of those who weren’t. This is why social media is such a huge part of the picture. Adults can’t handle feelings of being left out, can you imagine being 12 or 13 and having to feel like everyone else is out there having the best time?

LOL

Sounds like you are part of the everyone gets a trophy edition.

Not everyone gets invited to things sweetie. And as an adult and even as a teen I knew this.

No need to keep it on the down low. Live your life. Not the PP but you are ridiculous.

Yes, live your life! LIVE it, but no need to keep posting pics, because you were there! Tell your kids. They’ll be better off for not participating in the charade.

I still have 15 photo albums of my teen years. I literally had a wrist loop around my digital camera and brought it everywhere. Those albums and memories are some of my favorites. Bringing them all to my 25th reunion in November.

Teens are allowed to post photos. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it. Stop trying to guilt people into being miserable instead of NORMAL teens

Stop continuing to normalize the idea that posting pics equals living one’s life. Stop excusing obnoxious online behavior as just “teens being teens.” If you’re going to allow your kids to use social media, at least attempt to teach them to use it responsibly. (Assuming you know how yourself.) That means, yes, absolutely, telling them they’re not going to be included in everything, so try not to feel bad. But you can also urge them to show a little restraint sometimes. And that doesn’t equate to hiding anything or not living their lives, that’s just encouraging them to realize that the moment itself is what matters, not everyone else’s reaction to the moment. Social media isn’t going anywhere, but we try to foster a more balanced life for our kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Best thing I did was send my daughter to a private school that does not allow cell phones.

They have limited computer time as well


I have heard parents rationalize kids have to have cell phones for school shootings. Just wow

Curious as to how old your daugther is? A boy in my kid's class that did not get a phone until high school is now on every bad site out there.

What does that have to do with anything? You don’t think staring at a screen all day from K-12th has repercussions? So the boy is on all the “bad sites” at age 15 instead of 8? How is that a bad thing? LOL

Not the PP, but my daughter’s school they must be locked in the lockers. If seen (not even being used) they get AM detention, meaning the parents have to drive them in an hour before school starts. It works amazingly well.

I have not idea why phones are not banned in all public schools. There is absolutely no reason for them and they are a huge distraction. I was SHOCKED when our elementary school started to allow them. And why? Because moms wanted a way to reach their kid? Like um no. CALL THE SCHOOL

I am also surprised they are not banned at least during school hours. The only reason you would really need one is to tell a parent a practice was cancelled or something and you could do that after school is over and just wait for them to pick you up.

Cell phones are banned at our school. But kids are on them at home all the time. The issue is all social communication happens through the cell phone. Texting, FaceTime whatever. Friends live some distance from each other…with no way to get to each other..(parents work, or are otherwise busy and can’t drop them off). Also kids are over scheduled with activities, so can’t devote blocks of time to see each other. So they text and play games (apps) with each other.

I’d love my kid to invite friends over I but she doesn’t want to. It’s not what kids do!

Friday nights are friend's night at my house. Cell phones are placed in a bowl and the kids have free range of the entire basement and backyard. Sometimes they watch movies, play board games, just hang out and eat. We have the classic Wii down there and that is used a ton too. They aren't into shuffleboard as much but we have that new trendy hook game and a giant magnetic dark board. Also one small section of wall mirrors and a cheap karaoke machine. One night they learned how to play poker and had my husband teach them and player dealer/cashier. We have a firepit so they do smores a lot too. And my god, all of these 12-13yr olds still love to swing on our swing set. I added solar LED lights to it. Am considering a ping pong table for under the deck or a trampoline for this summer. My daughter has my old Canon digital camera so they take pics and after the night is over she uploads them and sends them out to everyone so they can add them to social media. If anyone needs their phone, they are allowed to come upstairs and use it at anytime. They just can't bring it down the basement. Most come up 1-2 a night for a few minutes each to text a parent or probably check messages. But you would be surprised how little they want it when no one else has it.

They also bike to the pool a lot in the summer. On their own. I haven't been to the pool since she was 9 or 10 years old. Her and her friends go alone.
Our neighborhood started cul de sac nights where kids ages 10 and older meet at certain cul de sacs to play capture the flag, jail break, kick the can, etc... No parents allowed.

So yes PP it absolutely can be what kids do. They want it and they need it. You are doing a disservice otherwise

I was all in until you got to the bolded. Sounds like lots of fun and I commend you for your efforts. But while that is a huge boost to the mental health of those who are invited, as soon as those pics go up on social media, it makes a dent in the mental health of those who weren’t. This is why social media is such a huge part of the picture. Adults can’t handle feelings of being left out, can you imagine being 12 or 13 and having to feel like everyone else is out there having the best time?

Part of growing up is making and keeping your own friends and know that everyone has their own life and may be different than you. People shouldn’t be silent about what they did Friday night or where they went or an award they won because someone else supposedly makes themselves butthurt about it somehow. Wtf.

What people “should” or “shouldn’t” be is different from what they actually feel. The “everyone has their own life” lesson is a process and feelings are very much involved. Social media makes it a lot harder to set abs enforce the boundaries to manage. The platform algorithms are optimised for continued engagement…they are hacking our brains. That’s done through emotional manipulation.

A lot of people simply refuse to acknowledge the bolded and think it’s all about “self control.” BS. There are internet addiction treatment rehabs for a reason.

100%

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Best thing I did was send my daughter to a private school that does not allow cell phones.

They have limited computer time as well


I have heard parents rationalize kids have to have cell phones for school shootings. Just wow

Curious as to how old your daugther is? A boy in my kid's class that did not get a phone until high school is now on every bad site out there.

What does that have to do with anything? You don’t think staring at a screen all day from K-12th has repercussions? So the boy is on all the “bad sites” at age 15 instead of 8? How is that a bad thing? LOL

Not the PP, but my daughter’s school they must be locked in the lockers. If seen (not even being used) they get AM detention, meaning the parents have to drive them in an hour before school starts. It works amazingly well.

I have not idea why phones are not banned in all public schools. There is absolutely no reason for them and they are a huge distraction. I was SHOCKED when our elementary school started to allow them. And why? Because moms wanted a way to reach their kid? Like um no. CALL THE SCHOOL

I am also surprised they are not banned at least during school hours. The only reason you would really need one is to tell a parent a practice was cancelled or something and you could do that after school is over and just wait for them to pick you up.

Cell phones are banned at our school. But kids are on them at home all the time. The issue is all social communication happens through the cell phone. Texting, FaceTime whatever. Friends live some distance from each other…with no way to get to each other..(parents work, or are otherwise busy and can’t drop them off). Also kids are over scheduled with activities, so can’t devote blocks of time to see each other. So they text and play games (apps) with each other.

I’d love my kid to invite friends over I but she doesn’t want to. It’s not what kids do!

Friday nights are friend's night at my house. Cell phones are placed in a bowl and the kids have free range of the entire basement and backyard. Sometimes they watch movies, play board games, just hang out and eat. We have the classic Wii down there and that is used a ton too. They aren't into shuffleboard as much but we have that new trendy hook game and a giant magnetic dark board. Also one small section of wall mirrors and a cheap karaoke machine. One night they learned how to play poker and had my husband teach them and player dealer/cashier. We have a firepit so they do smores a lot too. And my god, all of these 12-13yr olds still love to swing on our swing set. I added solar LED lights to it. Am considering a ping pong table for under the deck or a trampoline for this summer. My daughter has my old Canon digital camera so they take pics and after the night is over she uploads them and sends them out to everyone so they can add them to social media. If anyone needs their phone, they are allowed to come upstairs and use it at anytime. They just can't bring it down the basement. Most come up 1-2 a night for a few minutes each to text a parent or probably check messages. But you would be surprised how little they want it when no one else has it.

They also bike to the pool a lot in the summer. On their own. I haven't been to the pool since she was 9 or 10 years old. Her and her friends go alone.
Our neighborhood started cul de sac nights where kids ages 10 and older meet at certain cul de sacs to play capture the flag, jail break, kick the can, etc... No parents allowed.

So yes PP it absolutely can be what kids do. They want it and they need it. You are doing a disservice otherwise

I was all in until you got to the bolded. Sounds like lots of fun and I commend you for your efforts. But while that is a huge boost to the mental health of those who are invited, as soon as those pics go up on social media, it makes a dent in the mental health of those who weren’t. This is why social media is such a huge part of the picture. Adults can’t handle feelings of being left out, can you imagine being 12 or 13 and having to feel like everyone else is out there having the best time?

Part of growing up is making and keeping your own friends and know that everyone has their own life and may be different than you. People shouldn’t be silent about what they did Friday night or where they went or an award they won because someone else supposedly makes themselves butthurt about it somehow. Wtf.

Yes, but "back in the day" when my friends were doing things I wasn't invited to, I didn't always know. And I certainly wasn't subjected to posts, hashtags, pictures of all the fun they were having without me. Repeatedly. All the time.

It's different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Best thing I did was send my daughter to a private school that does not allow cell phones.

They have limited computer time as well


I have heard parents rationalize kids have to have cell phones for school shootings. Just wow

Curious as to how old your daugther is? A boy in my kid's class that did not get a phone until high school is now on every bad site out there.

What does that have to do with anything? You don’t think staring at a screen all day from K-12th has repercussions? So the boy is on all the “bad sites” at age 15 instead of 8? How is that a bad thing? LOL

Not the PP, but my daughter’s school they must be locked in the lockers. If seen (not even being used) they get AM detention, meaning the parents have to drive them in an hour before school starts. It works amazingly well.

I have not idea why phones are not banned in all public schools. There is absolutely no reason for them and they are a huge distraction. I was SHOCKED when our elementary school started to allow them. And why? Because moms wanted a way to reach their kid? Like um no. CALL THE SCHOOL

I am also surprised they are not banned at least during school hours. The only reason you would really need one is to tell a parent a practice was cancelled or something and you could do that after school is over and just wait for them to pick you up.

Cell phones are banned at our school. But kids are on them at home all the time. The issue is all social communication happens through the cell phone. Texting, FaceTime whatever. Friends live some distance from each other…with no way to get to each other..(parents work, or are otherwise busy and can’t drop them off). Also kids are over scheduled with activities, so can’t devote blocks of time to see each other. So they text and play games (apps) with each other.

I’d love my kid to invite friends over I but she doesn’t want to. It’s not what kids do!

Friday nights are friend's night at my house. Cell phones are placed in a bowl and the kids have free range of the entire basement and backyard. Sometimes they watch movies, play board games, just hang out and eat. We have the classic Wii down there and that is used a ton too. They aren't into shuffleboard as much but we have that new trendy hook game and a giant magnetic dark board. Also one small section of wall mirrors and a cheap karaoke machine. One night they learned how to play poker and had my husband teach them and player dealer/cashier. We have a firepit so they do smores a lot too. And my god, all of these 12-13yr olds still love to swing on our swing set. I added solar LED lights to it. Am considering a ping pong table for under the deck or a trampoline for this summer. My daughter has my old Canon digital camera so they take pics and after the night is over she uploads them and sends them out to everyone so they can add them to social media. If anyone needs their phone, they are allowed to come upstairs and use it at anytime. They just can't bring it down the basement. Most come up 1-2 a night for a few minutes each to text a parent or probably check messages. But you would be surprised how little they want it when no one else has it.

They also bike to the pool a lot in the summer. On their own. I haven't been to the pool since she was 9 or 10 years old. Her and her friends go alone.
Our neighborhood started cul de sac nights where kids ages 10 and older meet at certain cul de sacs to play capture the flag, jail break, kick the can, etc... No parents allowed.

So yes PP it absolutely can be what kids do. They want it and they need it. You are doing a disservice otherwise

I was all in until you got to the bolded. Sounds like lots of fun and I commend you for your efforts. But while that is a huge boost to the mental health of those who are invited, as soon as those pics go up on social media, it makes a dent in the mental health of those who weren’t. This is why social media is such a huge part of the picture. Adults can’t handle feelings of being left out, can you imagine being 12 or 13 and having to feel like everyone else is out there having the best time?

Part of growing up is making and keeping your own friends and know that everyone has their own life and may be different than you. People shouldn’t be silent about what they did Friday night or where they went or an award they won because someone else supposedly makes themselves butthurt about it somehow. Wtf.

Yes, but "back in the day" when my friends were doing things I wasn't invited to, I didn't always know. And I certainly wasn't subjected to posts, hashtags, pictures of all the fun they were having without me. Repeatedly. All the time.

It's different.

This is total BS. Everyone talked in school what they did the weekend prior. It felt even worse to think nothing happened and then found out Monday morning, everyone but you was somewhere. It happens. Life moves on. We had land lines and everyone knew what everyone was doing most of the time anyway.

I am honestly shocked how you are all raising snowflakes who can not handle anything. You actually think it is social media causing mental health issues and not your own terrible helicopter parenting. That is the biggest irony in all of this. You are pointing fingers at happy kids posting pics with friends and labeling them as the issue. Do you realize how depressingly toxic that is? Like woah. You are all insane. Just take your kids phones and social media away. Problem solved. They will be happy for life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Best thing I did was send my daughter to a private school that does not allow cell phones.

They have limited computer time as well


I have heard parents rationalize kids have to have cell phones for school shootings. Just wow

Curious as to how old your daugther is? A boy in my kid's class that did not get a phone until high school is now on every bad site out there.

What does that have to do with anything? You don’t think staring at a screen all day from K-12th has repercussions? So the boy is on all the “bad sites” at age 15 instead of 8? How is that a bad thing? LOL

Not the PP, but my daughter’s school they must be locked in the lockers. If seen (not even being used) they get AM detention, meaning the parents have to drive them in an hour before school starts. It works amazingly well.

I have not idea why phones are not banned in all public schools. There is absolutely no reason for them and they are a huge distraction. I was SHOCKED when our elementary school started to allow them. And why? Because moms wanted a way to reach their kid? Like um no. CALL THE SCHOOL

I am also surprised they are not banned at least during school hours. The only reason you would really need one is to tell a parent a practice was cancelled or something and you could do that after school is over and just wait for them to pick you up.

Cell phones are banned at our school. But kids are on them at home all the time. The issue is all social communication happens through the cell phone. Texting, FaceTime whatever. Friends live some distance from each other…with no way to get to each other..(parents work, or are otherwise busy and can’t drop them off). Also kids are over scheduled with activities, so can’t devote blocks of time to see each other. So they text and play games (apps) with each other.

I’d love my kid to invite friends over I but she doesn’t want to. It’s not what kids do!

Friday nights are friend's night at my house. Cell phones are placed in a bowl and the kids have free range of the entire basement and backyard. Sometimes they watch movies, play board games, just hang out and eat. We have the classic Wii down there and that is used a ton too. They aren't into shuffleboard as much but we have that new trendy hook game and a giant magnetic dark board. Also one small section of wall mirrors and a cheap karaoke machine. One night they learned how to play poker and had my husband teach them and player dealer/cashier. We have a firepit so they do smores a lot too. And my god, all of these 12-13yr olds still love to swing on our swing set. I added solar LED lights to it. Am considering a ping pong table for under the deck or a trampoline for this summer. My daughter has my old Canon digital camera so they take pics and after the night is over she uploads them and sends them out to everyone so they can add them to social media. If anyone needs their phone, they are allowed to come upstairs and use it at anytime. They just can't bring it down the basement. Most come up 1-2 a night for a few minutes each to text a parent or probably check messages. But you would be surprised how little they want it when no one else has it.

They also bike to the pool a lot in the summer. On their own. I haven't been to the pool since she was 9 or 10 years old. Her and her friends go alone.
Our neighborhood started cul de sac nights where kids ages 10 and older meet at certain cul de sacs to play capture the flag, jail break, kick the can, etc... No parents allowed.

So yes PP it absolutely can be what kids do. They want it and they need it. You are doing a disservice otherwise

I was all in until you got to the bolded. Sounds like lots of fun and I commend you for your efforts. But while that is a huge boost to the mental health of those who are invited, as soon as those pics go up on social media, it makes a dent in the mental health of those who weren’t. This is why social media is such a huge part of the picture. Adults can’t handle feelings of being left out, can you imagine being 12 or 13 and having to feel like everyone else is out there having the best time?

LOL

Sounds like you are part of the everyone gets a trophy edition.

Not everyone gets invited to things sweetie. And as an adult and even as a teen I knew this.

No need to keep it on the down low. Live your life. Not the PP but you are ridiculous.

Yes, live your life! LIVE it, but no need to keep posting pics, because you were there! Tell your kids. They’ll be better off for not participating in the charade.

I still have 15 photo albums of my teen years. I literally had a wrist loop around my digital camera and brought it everywhere. Those albums and memories are some of my favorites. Bringing them all to my 25th reunion in November.

Teens are allowed to post photos. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it. Stop trying to guilt people into being miserable instead of NORMAL teens

Stop continuing to normalize the idea that posting pics equals living one’s life. Stop excusing obnoxious online behavior as just “teens being teens.” If you’re going to allow your kids to use social media, at least attempt to teach them to use it responsibly. (Assuming you know how yourself.) That means, yes, absolutely, telling them they’re not going to be included in everything, so try not to feel bad. But you can also urge them to show a little restraint sometimes. And that doesn’t equate to hiding anything or not living their lives, that’s just encouraging them to realize that the moment itself is what matters, not everyone else’s reaction to the moment. Social media isn’t going anywhere, but we try to foster a more balanced life for our kids.

I think you need a little restraint in your over stepping your boundaries as a parent. You are so overly involved, it is scary.

What obnoxious behavior are you talking about? This all started when a mom said she takes phones away but lets the kids use a digital camera for memories. And now all you helicopters think that posting some of those digital photos sent to them after the party is "obnoxious online behavior"

Honestly, step back and read that. You are blaming teens who had a fun night without phones and maybe posted a few pictures of the event the next day when the photos were sent to them as OBNOXIOUS and MEAN.

Are people not allowed to post pics with a friend because the other 10 friends weren't there?
Are people not allowed to post pics with their sibling or parent because the other one wasn't there?
Are people not allowed to post a birthday party pic because they didn't invite all 400 kids from the same grade and the other 390 kids might be sad?
Are people not allowed to post prom pictures with their dates because some teens didn't have a date or some didn't go?
Are people not allowed to post they got into a college because not all kids got into a college they wanted?
Are people not allowed to post wedding pics because they couldn't invite every human they know and some might feel left out?


And you think it is these teens and not your parenting that is affecting your teen's mental health? Time for therapy dear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Best thing I did was send my daughter to a private school that does not allow cell phones.

They have limited computer time as well


I have heard parents rationalize kids have to have cell phones for school shootings. Just wow

Curious as to how old your daugther is? A boy in my kid's class that did not get a phone until high school is now on every bad site out there.

What does that have to do with anything? You don’t think staring at a screen all day from K-12th has repercussions? So the boy is on all the “bad sites” at age 15 instead of 8? How is that a bad thing? LOL

Not the PP, but my daughter’s school they must be locked in the lockers. If seen (not even being used) they get AM detention, meaning the parents have to drive them in an hour before school starts. It works amazingly well.

I have not idea why phones are not banned in all public schools. There is absolutely no reason for them and they are a huge distraction. I was SHOCKED when our elementary school started to allow them. And why? Because moms wanted a way to reach their kid? Like um no. CALL THE SCHOOL

I am also surprised they are not banned at least during school hours. The only reason you would really need one is to tell a parent a practice was cancelled or something and you could do that after school is over and just wait for them to pick you up.

Cell phones are banned at our school. But kids are on them at home all the time. The issue is all social communication happens through the cell phone. Texting, FaceTime whatever. Friends live some distance from each other…with no way to get to each other..(parents work, or are otherwise busy and can’t drop them off). Also kids are over scheduled with activities, so can’t devote blocks of time to see each other. So they text and play games (apps) with each other.

I’d love my kid to invite friends over I but she doesn’t want to. It’s not what kids do!

Friday nights are friend's night at my house. Cell phones are placed in a bowl and the kids have free range of the entire basement and backyard. Sometimes they watch movies, play board games, just hang out and eat. We have the classic Wii down there and that is used a ton too. They aren't into shuffleboard as much but we have that new trendy hook game and a giant magnetic dark board. Also one small section of wall mirrors and a cheap karaoke machine. One night they learned how to play poker and had my husband teach them and player dealer/cashier. We have a firepit so they do smores a lot too. And my god, all of these 12-13yr olds still love to swing on our swing set. I added solar LED lights to it. Am considering a ping pong table for under the deck or a trampoline for this summer. My daughter has my old Canon digital camera so they take pics and after the night is over she uploads them and sends them out to everyone so they can add them to social media. If anyone needs their phone, they are allowed to come upstairs and use it at anytime. They just can't bring it down the basement. Most come up 1-2 a night for a few minutes each to text a parent or probably check messages. But you would be surprised how little they want it when no one else has it.

They also bike to the pool a lot in the summer. On their own. I haven't been to the pool since she was 9 or 10 years old. Her and her friends go alone.
Our neighborhood started cul de sac nights where kids ages 10 and older meet at certain cul de sacs to play capture the flag, jail break, kick the can, etc... No parents allowed.

So yes PP it absolutely can be what kids do. They want it and they need it. You are doing a disservice otherwise

I was all in until you got to the bolded. Sounds like lots of fun and I commend you for your efforts. But while that is a huge boost to the mental health of those who are invited, as soon as those pics go up on social media, it makes a dent in the mental health of those who weren’t. This is why social media is such a huge part of the picture. Adults can’t handle feelings of being left out, can you imagine being 12 or 13 and having to feel like everyone else is out there having the best time?

Part of growing up is making and keeping your own friends and know that everyone has their own life and may be different than you. People shouldn’t be silent about what they did Friday night or where they went or an award they won because someone else supposedly makes themselves butthurt about it somehow. Wtf.

Yes, but "back in the day" when my friends were doing things I wasn't invited to, I didn't always know. And I certainly wasn't subjected to posts, hashtags, pictures of all the fun they were having without me. Repeatedly. All the time.

It's different.

This is total BS. Everyone talked in school what they did the weekend prior. It felt even worse to think nothing happened and then found out Monday morning, everyone but you was somewhere. It happens. Life moves on. We had land lines and everyone knew what everyone was doing most of the time anyway.

I am honestly shocked how you are all raising snowflakes who can not handle anything. You actually think it is social media causing mental health issues and not your own terrible helicopter parenting. That is the biggest irony in all of this. You are pointing fingers at happy kids posting pics with friends and labeling them as the issue. Do you realize how depressingly toxic that is? Like woah. You are all insane. Just take your kids phones and social media away. Problem solved. They will be happy for life.

Why so defensive? If you’d actually read the article that we’re discussing here, it cites both social media and modern parenting as contributors to the decline in mental health. Don’t worry, no one’s going to stop your kids from posting their pics. But if you actually care about trying to do something about this issue, you have to include social media in the conversation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Best thing I did was send my daughter to a private school that does not allow cell phones.

They have limited computer time as well


I have heard parents rationalize kids have to have cell phones for school shootings. Just wow

Curious as to how old your daugther is? A boy in my kid's class that did not get a phone until high school is now on every bad site out there.

What does that have to do with anything? You don’t think staring at a screen all day from K-12th has repercussions? So the boy is on all the “bad sites” at age 15 instead of 8? How is that a bad thing? LOL

Not the PP, but my daughter’s school they must be locked in the lockers. If seen (not even being used) they get AM detention, meaning the parents have to drive them in an hour before school starts. It works amazingly well.

I have not idea why phones are not banned in all public schools. There is absolutely no reason for them and they are a huge distraction. I was SHOCKED when our elementary school started to allow them. And why? Because moms wanted a way to reach their kid? Like um no. CALL THE SCHOOL

I am also surprised they are not banned at least during school hours. The only reason you would really need one is to tell a parent a practice was cancelled or something and you could do that after school is over and just wait for them to pick you up.

Cell phones are banned at our school. But kids are on them at home all the time. The issue is all social communication happens through the cell phone. Texting, FaceTime whatever. Friends live some distance from each other…with no way to get to each other..(parents work, or are otherwise busy and can’t drop them off). Also kids are over scheduled with activities, so can’t devote blocks of time to see each other. So they text and play games (apps) with each other.

I’d love my kid to invite friends over I but she doesn’t want to. It’s not what kids do!

Friday nights are friend's night at my house. Cell phones are placed in a bowl and the kids have free range of the entire basement and backyard. Sometimes they watch movies, play board games, just hang out and eat. We have the classic Wii down there and that is used a ton too. They aren't into shuffleboard as much but we have that new trendy hook game and a giant magnetic dark board. Also one small section of wall mirrors and a cheap karaoke machine. One night they learned how to play poker and had my husband teach them and player dealer/cashier. We have a firepit so they do smores a lot too. And my god, all of these 12-13yr olds still love to swing on our swing set. I added solar LED lights to it. Am considering a ping pong table for under the deck or a trampoline for this summer. My daughter has my old Canon digital camera so they take pics and after the night is over she uploads them and sends them out to everyone so they can add them to social media. If anyone needs their phone, they are allowed to come upstairs and use it at anytime. They just can't bring it down the basement. Most come up 1-2 a night for a few minutes each to text a parent or probably check messages. But you would be surprised how little they want it when no one else has it.

They also bike to the pool a lot in the summer. On their own. I haven't been to the pool since she was 9 or 10 years old. Her and her friends go alone.
Our neighborhood started cul de sac nights where kids ages 10 and older meet at certain cul de sacs to play capture the flag, jail break, kick the can, etc... No parents allowed.

So yes PP it absolutely can be what kids do. They want it and they need it. You are doing a disservice otherwise

I was all in until you got to the bolded. Sounds like lots of fun and I commend you for your efforts. But while that is a huge boost to the mental health of those who are invited, as soon as those pics go up on social media, it makes a dent in the mental health of those who weren’t. This is why social media is such a huge part of the picture. Adults can’t handle feelings of being left out, can you imagine being 12 or 13 and having to feel like everyone else is out there having the best time?

Part of growing up is making and keeping your own friends and know that everyone has their own life and may be different than you. People shouldn’t be silent about what they did Friday night or where they went or an award they won because someone else supposedly makes themselves butthurt about it somehow. Wtf.

Yes, but "back in the day" when my friends were doing things I wasn't invited to, I didn't always know. And I certainly wasn't subjected to posts, hashtags, pictures of all the fun they were having without me. Repeatedly. All the time.

It's different.

Wait, why allow social media then? If your kids are hurt they aren't invited to everything and just scroll "repeatedly.all the time" like you said and can't stop watching, then delete all of the apps. And if they are out and about with friends or at an event and they are not allowed to post pics ever, because don't allow it ever, what are they using social media for? It is SOCIAL media. Just tell your teen they can't have it and move on. No reason to point fingers at others for your issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Best thing I did was send my daughter to a private school that does not allow cell phones.

They have limited computer time as well


I have heard parents rationalize kids have to have cell phones for school shootings. Just wow

Curious as to how old your daugther is? A boy in my kid's class that did not get a phone until high school is now on every bad site out there.

What does that have to do with anything? You don’t think staring at a screen all day from K-12th has repercussions? So the boy is on all the “bad sites” at age 15 instead of 8? How is that a bad thing? LOL

Not the PP, but my daughter’s school they must be locked in the lockers. If seen (not even being used) they get AM detention, meaning the parents have to drive them in an hour before school starts. It works amazingly well.

I have not idea why phones are not banned in all public schools. There is absolutely no reason for them and they are a huge distraction. I was SHOCKED when our elementary school started to allow them. And why? Because moms wanted a way to reach their kid? Like um no. CALL THE SCHOOL

I am also surprised they are not banned at least during school hours. The only reason you would really need one is to tell a parent a practice was cancelled or something and you could do that after school is over and just wait for them to pick you up.

Cell phones are banned at our school. But kids are on them at home all the time. The issue is all social communication happens through the cell phone. Texting, FaceTime whatever. Friends live some distance from each other…with no way to get to each other..(parents work, or are otherwise busy and can’t drop them off). Also kids are over scheduled with activities, so can’t devote blocks of time to see each other. So they text and play games (apps) with each other.

I’d love my kid to invite friends over I but she doesn’t want to. It’s not what kids do!

Friday nights are friend's night at my house. Cell phones are placed in a bowl and the kids have free range of the entire basement and backyard. Sometimes they watch movies, play board games, just hang out and eat. We have the classic Wii down there and that is used a ton too. They aren't into shuffleboard as much but we have that new trendy hook game and a giant magnetic dark board. Also one small section of wall mirrors and a cheap karaoke machine. One night they learned how to play poker and had my husband teach them and player dealer/cashier. We have a firepit so they do smores a lot too. And my god, all of these 12-13yr olds still love to swing on our swing set. I added solar LED lights to it. Am considering a ping pong table for under the deck or a trampoline for this summer. My daughter has my old Canon digital camera so they take pics and after the night is over she uploads them and sends them out to everyone so they can add them to social media. If anyone needs their phone, they are allowed to come upstairs and use it at anytime. They just can't bring it down the basement. Most come up 1-2 a night for a few minutes each to text a parent or probably check messages. But you would be surprised how little they want it when no one else has it.

They also bike to the pool a lot in the summer. On their own. I haven't been to the pool since she was 9 or 10 years old. Her and her friends go alone.
Our neighborhood started cul de sac nights where kids ages 10 and older meet at certain cul de sacs to play capture the flag, jail break, kick the can, etc... No parents allowed.

So yes PP it absolutely can be what kids do. They want it and they need it. You are doing a disservice otherwise

I was all in until you got to the bolded. Sounds like lots of fun and I commend you for your efforts. But while that is a huge boost to the mental health of those who are invited, as soon as those pics go up on social media, it makes a dent in the mental health of those who weren’t. This is why social media is such a huge part of the picture. Adults can’t handle feelings of being left out, can you imagine being 12 or 13 and having to feel like everyone else is out there having the best time?

LOL

Sounds like you are part of the everyone gets a trophy edition.

Not everyone gets invited to things sweetie. And as an adult and even as a teen I knew this.

No need to keep it on the down low. Live your life. Not the PP but you are ridiculous.

Yes, live your life! LIVE it, but no need to keep posting pics, because you were there! Tell your kids. They’ll be better off for not participating in the charade.

I still have 15 photo albums of my teen years. I literally had a wrist loop around my digital camera and brought it everywhere. Those albums and memories are some of my favorites. Bringing them all to my 25th reunion in November.

Teens are allowed to post photos. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it. Stop trying to guilt people into being miserable instead of NORMAL teens

Stop continuing to normalize the idea that posting pics equals living one’s life. Stop excusing obnoxious online behavior as just “teens being teens.” If you’re going to allow your kids to use social media, at least attempt to teach them to use it responsibly. (Assuming you know how yourself.) That means, yes, absolutely, telling them they’re not going to be included in everything, so try not to feel bad. But you can also urge them to show a little restraint sometimes. And that doesn’t equate to hiding anything or not living their lives, that’s just encouraging them to realize that the moment itself is what matters, not everyone else’s reaction to the moment. Social media isn’t going anywhere, but we try to foster a more balanced life for our kids.

I think you need a little restraint in your over stepping your boundaries as a parent. You are so overly involved, it is scary.

What obnoxious behavior are you talking about? This all started when a mom said she takes phones away but lets the kids use a digital camera for memories. And now all you helicopters think that posting some of those digital photos sent to them after the party is "obnoxious online behavior"

Honestly, step back and read that. You are blaming teens who had a fun night without phones and maybe posted a few pictures of the event the next day when the photos were sent to them as OBNOXIOUS and MEAN.

Are people not allowed to post pics with a friend because the other 10 friends weren't there?
Are people not allowed to post pics with their sibling or parent because the other one wasn't there?
Are people not allowed to post a birthday party pic because they didn't invite all 400 kids from the same grade and the other 390 kids might be sad?
Are people not allowed to post prom pictures with their dates because some teens didn't have a date or some didn't go?
Are people not allowed to post they got into a college because not all kids got into a college they wanted?
Are people not allowed to post wedding pics because they couldn't invite every human they know and some might feel left out?


And you think it is these teens and not your parenting that is affecting your teen's mental health? Time for therapy dear.

Again, the defensiveness of some of you is so telling. Your kid’s allowed to post whatever they want. I just personally try to instill a little more self awareness in my kids.

Do you disagree that social media plays a role, somehow, in a young person’s overall mental well-being?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Best thing I did was send my daughter to a private school that does not allow cell phones.

They have limited computer time as well


I have heard parents rationalize kids have to have cell phones for school shootings. Just wow

Curious as to how old your daugther is? A boy in my kid's class that did not get a phone until high school is now on every bad site out there.

What does that have to do with anything? You don’t think staring at a screen all day from K-12th has repercussions? So the boy is on all the “bad sites” at age 15 instead of 8? How is that a bad thing? LOL

Not the PP, but my daughter’s school they must be locked in the lockers. If seen (not even being used) they get AM detention, meaning the parents have to drive them in an hour before school starts. It works amazingly well.

I have not idea why phones are not banned in all public schools. There is absolutely no reason for them and they are a huge distraction. I was SHOCKED when our elementary school started to allow them. And why? Because moms wanted a way to reach their kid? Like um no. CALL THE SCHOOL

I am also surprised they are not banned at least during school hours. The only reason you would really need one is to tell a parent a practice was cancelled or something and you could do that after school is over and just wait for them to pick you up.

Cell phones are banned at our school. But kids are on them at home all the time. The issue is all social communication happens through the cell phone. Texting, FaceTime whatever. Friends live some distance from each other…with no way to get to each other..(parents work, or are otherwise busy and can’t drop them off). Also kids are over scheduled with activities, so can’t devote blocks of time to see each other. So they text and play games (apps) with each other.

I’d love my kid to invite friends over I but she doesn’t want to. It’s not what kids do!

Friday nights are friend's night at my house. Cell phones are placed in a bowl and the kids have free range of the entire basement and backyard. Sometimes they watch movies, play board games, just hang out and eat. We have the classic Wii down there and that is used a ton too. They aren't into shuffleboard as much but we have that new trendy hook game and a giant magnetic dark board. Also one small section of wall mirrors and a cheap karaoke machine. One night they learned how to play poker and had my husband teach them and player dealer/cashier. We have a firepit so they do smores a lot too. And my god, all of these 12-13yr olds still love to swing on our swing set. I added solar LED lights to it. Am considering a ping pong table for under the deck or a trampoline for this summer. My daughter has my old Canon digital camera so they take pics and after the night is over she uploads them and sends them out to everyone so they can add them to social media. If anyone needs their phone, they are allowed to come upstairs and use it at anytime. They just can't bring it down the basement. Most come up 1-2 a night for a few minutes each to text a parent or probably check messages. But you would be surprised how little they want it when no one else has it.

They also bike to the pool a lot in the summer. On their own. I haven't been to the pool since she was 9 or 10 years old. Her and her friends go alone.
Our neighborhood started cul de sac nights where kids ages 10 and older meet at certain cul de sacs to play capture the flag, jail break, kick the can, etc... No parents allowed.

So yes PP it absolutely can be what kids do. They want it and they need it. You are doing a disservice otherwise

I was all in until you got to the bolded. Sounds like lots of fun and I commend you for your efforts. But while that is a huge boost to the mental health of those who are invited, as soon as those pics go up on social media, it makes a dent in the mental health of those who weren’t. This is why social media is such a huge part of the picture. Adults can’t handle feelings of being left out, can you imagine being 12 or 13 and having to feel like everyone else is out there having the best time?

And THIS comment. This one right here is EVERYTHING wrong with this generation's parenting. You are blaming teens that spent a night socializing without phones and may or may not repost some digital pictures the next day - as a horrible thing. And you also blamed the mom hosting these events.

And newsflash - I can absolutely handle feeling left out and have parented my kids to understand it happens all of the time too. Stop coddling your kids while judging others. Your kids will grow up to be just like you. Sad, judging, and always the victim. Raise your kids to be resilient and make their own fun, instead of blaming a mom who offers some fun to her daughter and a few friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Best thing I did was send my daughter to a private school that does not allow cell phones.

They have limited computer time as well


I have heard parents rationalize kids have to have cell phones for school shootings. Just wow

Curious as to how old your daugther is? A boy in my kid's class that did not get a phone until high school is now on every bad site out there.

What does that have to do with anything? You don’t think staring at a screen all day from K-12th has repercussions? So the boy is on all the “bad sites” at age 15 instead of 8? How is that a bad thing? LOL

Not the PP, but my daughter’s school they must be locked in the lockers. If seen (not even being used) they get AM detention, meaning the parents have to drive them in an hour before school starts. It works amazingly well.

I have not idea why phones are not banned in all public schools. There is absolutely no reason for them and they are a huge distraction. I was SHOCKED when our elementary school started to allow them. And why? Because moms wanted a way to reach their kid? Like um no. CALL THE SCHOOL

I am also surprised they are not banned at least during school hours. The only reason you would really need one is to tell a parent a practice was cancelled or something and you could do that after school is over and just wait for them to pick you up.

Cell phones are banned at our school. But kids are on them at home all the time. The issue is all social communication happens through the cell phone. Texting, FaceTime whatever. Friends live some distance from each other…with no way to get to each other..(parents work, or are otherwise busy and can’t drop them off). Also kids are over scheduled with activities, so can’t devote blocks of time to see each other. So they text and play games (apps) with each other.

I’d love my kid to invite friends over I but she doesn’t want to. It’s not what kids do!

Friday nights are friend's night at my house. Cell phones are placed in a bowl and the kids have free range of the entire basement and backyard. Sometimes they watch movies, play board games, just hang out and eat. We have the classic Wii down there and that is used a ton too. They aren't into shuffleboard as much but we have that new trendy hook game and a giant magnetic dark board. Also one small section of wall mirrors and a cheap karaoke machine. One night they learned how to play poker and had my husband teach them and player dealer/cashier. We have a firepit so they do smores a lot too. And my god, all of these 12-13yr olds still love to swing on our swing set. I added solar LED lights to it. Am considering a ping pong table for under the deck or a trampoline for this summer. My daughter has my old Canon digital camera so they take pics and after the night is over she uploads them and sends them out to everyone so they can add them to social media. If anyone needs their phone, they are allowed to come upstairs and use it at anytime. They just can't bring it down the basement. Most come up 1-2 a night for a few minutes each to text a parent or probably check messages. But you would be surprised how little they want it when no one else has it.

They also bike to the pool a lot in the summer. On their own. I haven't been to the pool since she was 9 or 10 years old. Her and her friends go alone.
Our neighborhood started cul de sac nights where kids ages 10 and older meet at certain cul de sacs to play capture the flag, jail break, kick the can, etc... No parents allowed.

So yes PP it absolutely can be what kids do. They want it and they need it. You are doing a disservice otherwise

I was all in until you got to the bolded. Sounds like lots of fun and I commend you for your efforts. But while that is a huge boost to the mental health of those who are invited, as soon as those pics go up on social media, it makes a dent in the mental health of those who weren’t. This is why social media is such a huge part of the picture. Adults can’t handle feelings of being left out, can you imagine being 12 or 13 and having to feel like everyone else is out there having the best time?

Part of growing up is making and keeping your own friends and know that everyone has their own life and may be different than you. People shouldn’t be silent about what they did Friday night or where they went or an award they won because someone else supposedly makes themselves butthurt about it somehow. Wtf.

What people “should” or “shouldn’t” be is different from what they actually feel. The “everyone has their own life” lesson is a process and feelings are very much involved. Social media makes it a lot harder to set abs enforce the boundaries to manage. The platform algorithms are optimised for continued engagement…they are hacking our brains. That’s done through emotional manipulation.

Again, parents can control social media. So it is a parent issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Best thing I did was send my daughter to a private school that does not allow cell phones.

They have limited computer time as well


I have heard parents rationalize kids have to have cell phones for school shootings. Just wow

Curious as to how old your daugther is? A boy in my kid's class that did not get a phone until high school is now on every bad site out there.

What does that have to do with anything? You don’t think staring at a screen all day from K-12th has repercussions? So the boy is on all the “bad sites” at age 15 instead of 8? How is that a bad thing? LOL

Not the PP, but my daughter’s school they must be locked in the lockers. If seen (not even being used) they get AM detention, meaning the parents have to drive them in an hour before school starts. It works amazingly well.

I have not idea why phones are not banned in all public schools. There is absolutely no reason for them and they are a huge distraction. I was SHOCKED when our elementary school started to allow them. And why? Because moms wanted a way to reach their kid? Like um no. CALL THE SCHOOL

I am also surprised they are not banned at least during school hours. The only reason you would really need one is to tell a parent a practice was cancelled or something and you could do that after school is over and just wait for them to pick you up.

Cell phones are banned at our school. But kids are on them at home all the time. The issue is all social communication happens through the cell phone. Texting, FaceTime whatever. Friends live some distance from each other…with no way to get to each other..(parents work, or are otherwise busy and can’t drop them off). Also kids are over scheduled with activities, so can’t devote blocks of time to see each other. So they text and play games (apps) with each other.

I’d love my kid to invite friends over I but she doesn’t want to. It’s not what kids do!

Friday nights are friend's night at my house. Cell phones are placed in a bowl and the kids have free range of the entire basement and backyard. Sometimes they watch movies, play board games, just hang out and eat. We have the classic Wii down there and that is used a ton too. They aren't into shuffleboard as much but we have that new trendy hook game and a giant magnetic dark board. Also one small section of wall mirrors and a cheap karaoke machine. One night they learned how to play poker and had my husband teach them and player dealer/cashier. We have a firepit so they do smores a lot too. And my god, all of these 12-13yr olds still love to swing on our swing set. I added solar LED lights to it. Am considering a ping pong table for under the deck or a trampoline for this summer. My daughter has my old Canon digital camera so they take pics and after the night is over she uploads them and sends them out to everyone so they can add them to social media. If anyone needs their phone, they are allowed to come upstairs and use it at anytime. They just can't bring it down the basement. Most come up 1-2 a night for a few minutes each to text a parent or probably check messages. But you would be surprised how little they want it when no one else has it.

They also bike to the pool a lot in the summer. On their own. I haven't been to the pool since she was 9 or 10 years old. Her and her friends go alone.
Our neighborhood started cul de sac nights where kids ages 10 and older meet at certain cul de sacs to play capture the flag, jail break, kick the can, etc... No parents allowed.

So yes PP it absolutely can be what kids do. They want it and they need it. You are doing a disservice otherwise

I was all in until you got to the bolded. Sounds like lots of fun and I commend you for your efforts. But while that is a huge boost to the mental health of those who are invited, as soon as those pics go up on social media, it makes a dent in the mental health of those who weren’t. This is why social media is such a huge part of the picture. Adults can’t handle feelings of being left out, can you imagine being 12 or 13 and having to feel like everyone else is out there having the best time?

And THIS comment. This one right here is EVERYTHING wrong with this generation's parenting. You are blaming teens that spent a night socializing without phones and may or may not repost some digital pictures the next day - as a horrible thing. And you also blamed the mom hosting these events.

And newsflash - I can absolutely handle feeling left out and have parented my kids to understand it happens all of the time too. Stop coddling your kids while judging others. Your kids will grow up to be just like you. Sad, judging, and always the victim. Raise your kids to be resilient and make their own fun, instead of blaming a mom who offers some fun to her daughter and a few friends.

Parents are lazy, sad, and judgy. They rather point fingers than look within and see how they are failing their kids. They blame social media when they can easily control their child's social media or if they even have it. Easier to allow it and blame it on that though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Best thing I did was send my daughter to a private school that does not allow cell phones.

They have limited computer time as well


I have heard parents rationalize kids have to have cell phones for school shootings. Just wow

Curious as to how old your daugther is? A boy in my kid's class that did not get a phone until high school is now on every bad site out there.

What does that have to do with anything? You don’t think staring at a screen all day from K-12th has repercussions? So the boy is on all the “bad sites” at age 15 instead of 8? How is that a bad thing? LOL

Not the PP, but my daughter’s school they must be locked in the lockers. If seen (not even being used) they get AM detention, meaning the parents have to drive them in an hour before school starts. It works amazingly well.

I have not idea why phones are not banned in all public schools. There is absolutely no reason for them and they are a huge distraction. I was SHOCKED when our elementary school started to allow them. And why? Because moms wanted a way to reach their kid? Like um no. CALL THE SCHOOL

I am also surprised they are not banned at least during school hours. The only reason you would really need one is to tell a parent a practice was cancelled or something and you could do that after school is over and just wait for them to pick you up.

Cell phones are banned at our school. But kids are on them at home all the time. The issue is all social communication happens through the cell phone. Texting, FaceTime whatever. Friends live some distance from each other…with no way to get to each other..(parents work, or are otherwise busy and can’t drop them off). Also kids are over scheduled with activities, so can’t devote blocks of time to see each other. So they text and play games (apps) with each other.

I’d love my kid to invite friends over I but she doesn’t want to. It’s not what kids do!

Friday nights are friend's night at my house. Cell phones are placed in a bowl and the kids have free range of the entire basement and backyard. Sometimes they watch movies, play board games, just hang out and eat. We have the classic Wii down there and that is used a ton too. They aren't into shuffleboard as much but we have that new trendy hook game and a giant magnetic dark board. Also one small section of wall mirrors and a cheap karaoke machine. One night they learned how to play poker and had my husband teach them and player dealer/cashier. We have a firepit so they do smores a lot too. And my god, all of these 12-13yr olds still love to swing on our swing set. I added solar LED lights to it. Am considering a ping pong table for under the deck or a trampoline for this summer. My daughter has my old Canon digital camera so they take pics and after the night is over she uploads them and sends them out to everyone so they can add them to social media. If anyone needs their phone, they are allowed to come upstairs and use it at anytime. They just can't bring it down the basement. Most come up 1-2 a night for a few minutes each to text a parent or probably check messages. But you would be surprised how little they want it when no one else has it.

They also bike to the pool a lot in the summer. On their own. I haven't been to the pool since she was 9 or 10 years old. Her and her friends go alone.
Our neighborhood started cul de sac nights where kids ages 10 and older meet at certain cul de sacs to play capture the flag, jail break, kick the can, etc... No parents allowed.

So yes PP it absolutely can be what kids do. They want it and they need it. You are doing a disservice otherwise

I was all in until you got to the bolded. Sounds like lots of fun and I commend you for your efforts. But while that is a huge boost to the mental health of those who are invited, as soon as those pics go up on social media, it makes a dent in the mental health of those who weren’t. This is why social media is such a huge part of the picture. Adults can’t handle feelings of being left out, can you imagine being 12 or 13 and having to feel like everyone else is out there having the best time?

And THIS comment. This one right here is EVERYTHING wrong with this generation's parenting. You are blaming teens that spent a night socializing without phones and may or may not repost some digital pictures the next day - as a horrible thing. And you also blamed the mom hosting these events.

And newsflash - I can absolutely handle feeling left out and have parented my kids to understand it happens all of the time too. Stop coddling your kids while judging others. Your kids will grow up to be just like you. Sad, judging, and always the victim. Raise your kids to be resilient and make their own fun, instead of blaming a mom who offers some fun to her daughter and a few friends.

I agree in part, but you’re lacking empathy! Just think…many of these kids not invited to social gatherings aren’t invited bc they don’t have many friends! It breaks my heart. Every day at drop off I see the lonliest girl. She wears the same pants every day. She looks so depressed, and hardly smiles. She’s always alone. I’m happy for all the kids who have strong social networks but I wish they were a little more self confident and could reach out to the kids who didn’t (in a genuine, non-snarky way!).