get over name brand / prestige obsession

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:https://www.payscale.com/college-roi
https://www.usnews.com/education/best-colleges/paying-for-college/slideshows/national-universities-liberal-arts-colleges-with-the-best-roi
https://www.bestcolleges.com/features/best-roi-colleges/

One problem with lists like these is that they're based on the average financial aid grant, so schools with huge endowments or really low costs tend to look much better than the others but in fact the ROI varies widely depending on how much you had to pay.

It also means that paying 400k+ (future value) as a full pay at a top private is downright stupid unless you'd never notice that 400k was missing from your bank account.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are many other parents on here who plea for a healthy balance, and loving the child you have instead of trying to shoehorn them into some rigid mold that you think will make them appealing to Ivy League schools.

Other, often high income parents on here are very vocal and confident, but they may be hurting their children. Often their only barometer seems to be who will make the most money (whether we are discussing college, major, whatever).

They have probably prioritized status/work/money their whole lives. They think that is the only definition of success. Notice being a good spouse or parent, and having mentally healthy children are not high on that list.

Others of us don't rely on external indicators for our sense of self-worth.

Don't worry OP, the together parents will listen to your post. All we can do for the others is sympathize with their children. The world really does not need more people who are motivated by status and materialism.

I highly recommend the film that you referenced. It was shown to parents in Montgomery County when my child was in high school.

“There’s no nobility in poverty”

So the options are Ivy League/success or poverty? I guess not even an Ivy League degree can buy common sense, huh?

[Anonymous]

Yeah, I am going to turn down Harvard to go to SUNY - Maritime College because some survey says the latter has higher ROI.

[Anonymous]

Your anecdotes don't change the overall statistics. You also can't detach the name brand from the people who attend the top schools. Statistically those are people more driven, hard working, and intelligent.

This is quite a huge fallacy. So many of these students are at "top schools" because of luck and the situations they were born into - wealth and privilege and entitlement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Your anecdotes don't change the overall statistics. You also can't detach the name brand from the people who attend the top schools. Statistically those are people more driven, hard working, and intelligent.

This is quite a huge fallacy. So many of these students are at "top schools" because of luck and the situations they were born into - wealth and privilege and entitlement.

With this attitude, everything is because of pure luck and no hard work matters. But we do have many many middle class families and minority families that send their kids to top colleges and have great success in their lives. You seem stuck in your excuses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These posts that say you just HAVE to go to a top school because that’s where the I-banks and consulting companies and corporate law firms recruit are really cracking me up.

Raise your hand if, like me, you would be terribly disappointed if your child became one of those things.

+1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Looking back, one of my biggest regrets/missteps as a parent was putting way too much pressure on my kids to excel in school with the goal of getting into top colleges. The pressure worked, and they did do well and go "name brand," but fast forward a few years and it really didn't make much of a difference. They're all happy and successful, but so are their friends who didn't do as well as they did and didn't end up at top schools. Time is proving to be the great equalizer.

Just something for parents to keep in mind when they're still in the midst of things. I realize I'm probably preaching to the wrong crowd.

You are preaching to the wrong crowd because there are plenty of folks here who DID attend the top schools and know first hand the myriad advantages to having done so.

Also as you have clearly not attended a top school yourself, your children are also less likely to do so because the apple does not fall far from the tree. Despite the occasional genius outlier, it ain't happening for you regardless of the pressure you did or did not put on your kids.

Now stop wasting everyone's time and go away.

+1. I attended a top school. The main advantage is that you never have to work hard again. All the great opportunities just show up because of who you know.

IME, it’s generally white people who say the stuff OP says, and that’s because they don’t recognize their white privilege. Yes, if you’re white, it doesn’t matter which school you go to, because all the doors are open to you already. If you’re non-white, going to a top school makes you aware of the kind of life white people enjoy as their birthright.

Most white people did not attend elite colleges . In fact they did not graduate from college. You are in a bubble that you think everyone else white shares...but you are wrong. Read Hillbilly Eulogy, and get back to me.

While people don’t need to go to elite colleges to have a great life. That’s my entire point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These posts that say you just HAVE to go to a top school because that’s where the I-banks and consulting companies and corporate law firms recruit are really cracking me up.

Raise your hand if, like me, you would be terribly disappointed if your child became one of those things.

Going to a top school to become any of these is a waste of the top school. I want my kid to go to a top school so that he can get any job he wants and get paid well for doing it. There are lots of jobs that pay well, aren’t hard to do, and are incredibly enjoyable. The problem is that most of these jobs are open to a very small group of people, because you get in by who you know. I’ve been in jobs like this my entire life, and the office will be full of people from top schools, who only recruit from those same schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Looking back, one of my biggest regrets/missteps as a parent was putting way too much pressure on my kids to excel in school with the goal of getting into top colleges. The pressure worked, and they did do well and go "name brand," but fast forward a few years and it really didn't make much of a difference. They're all happy and successful, but so are their friends who didn't do as well as they did and didn't end up at top schools. Time is proving to be the great equalizer.

Just something for parents to keep in mind when they're still in the midst of things. I realize I'm probably preaching to the wrong crowd.

You are preaching to the wrong crowd because there are plenty of folks here who DID attend the top schools and know first hand the myriad advantages to having done so.

Also as you have clearly not attended a top school yourself, your children are also less likely to do so because the apple does not fall far from the tree. Despite the occasional genius outlier, it ain't happening for you regardless of the pressure you did or did not put on your kids.

Now stop wasting everyone's time and go away.

+1. I attended a top school. The main advantage is that you never have to work hard again. All the great opportunities just show up because of who you know.

IME, it’s generally white people who say the stuff OP says, and that’s because they don’t recognize their white privilege. Yes, if you’re white, it doesn’t matter which school you go to, because all the doors are open to you already. If you’re non-white, going to a top school makes you aware of the kind of life white people enjoy as their birthright.

Most white people did not attend elite colleges . In fact they did not graduate from college. You are in a bubble that you think everyone else white shares...but you are wrong. Read Hillbilly Eulogy, and get back to me.

Exactly. On this forum white people are equated with success and being educated. Meanwhile the average white woman in American only makes $45,000 and don’t even have a bachelors degree.

Now look up average income for black men and women.

Bingo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These posts that say you just HAVE to go to a top school because that’s where the I-banks and consulting companies and corporate law firms recruit are really cracking me up.

Raise your hand if, like me, you would be terribly disappointed if your child became one of those things.

Going to a top school to become any of these is a waste of the top school. I want my kid to go to a top school so that he can get any job he wants and get paid well for doing it. There are lots of jobs that pay well, aren’t hard to do, and are incredibly enjoyable. The problem is that most of these jobs are open to a very small group of people, because you get in by who you know. I’ve been in jobs like this my entire life, and the office will be full of people from top schools, who only recruit from those same schools.

What types of jobs are you referring to? Examples would help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These posts that say you just HAVE to go to a top school because that’s where the I-banks and consulting companies and corporate law firms recruit are really cracking me up.

Raise your hand if, like me, you would be terribly disappointed if your child became one of those things.

Going to a top school to become any of these is a waste of the top school. I want my kid to go to a top school so that he can get any job he wants and get paid well for doing it. There are lots of jobs that pay well, aren’t hard to do, and are incredibly enjoyable. The problem is that most of these jobs are open to a very small group of people, because you get in by who you know. I’ve been in jobs like this my entire life, and the office will be full of people from top schools, who only recruit from those same schools.

What types of jobs are you referring to? Examples would help.

NGO in DC

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Your anecdotes don't change the overall statistics. You also can't detach the name brand from the people who attend the top schools. Statistically those are people more driven, hard working, and intelligent.

This is quite a huge fallacy. So many of these students are at "top schools" because of luck and the situations they were born into - wealth and privilege and entitlement.

Sure. To an extent. But a majority of my Biglaw partners did not come from these circumstances. There is a good subset who did but not the majority. Same is true in 2021 of other jobs mentioned here -- Are there a good number of people in the Wall Street training programs that were UMC or higher. Sure. But a substantial number were also MC or lower. They do recruit from the same elite schools. They are not only open to UMC. It is one of the reasons to try to get to go to one of those schools and is one of the reasons OPs original post is wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These posts that say you just HAVE to go to a top school because that’s where the I-banks and consulting companies and corporate law firms recruit are really cracking me up.

Raise your hand if, like me, you would be terribly disappointed if your child became one of those things.

+1.

You would be disappointed in your kids for almost any reason? That is crazy. Also crazy that they went to do something that they were interested in and you are disappointed. Very odd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These posts that say you just HAVE to go to a top school because that’s where the I-banks and consulting companies and corporate law firms recruit are really cracking me up.

Raise your hand if, like me, you would be terribly disappointed if your child became one of those things.

Going to a top school to become any of these is a waste of the top school. I want my kid to go to a top school so that he can get any job he wants and get paid well for doing it. There are lots of jobs that pay well, aren’t hard to do, and are incredibly enjoyable. The problem is that most of these jobs are open to a very small group of people, because you get in by who you know. I’ve been in jobs like this my entire life, and the office will be full of people from top schools, who only recruit from those same schools.

Why a college education? To learn, grow, and find out who you are. And be ready for a job. No it is not a waste. And there really are not that many jobs that are easy and pay well.

[Anonymous]

Honestly the only prestige universities that actually could benefit you for life are harvard and Yale . I know quite a few people who went to “lesser” ivies and are no better off than if they went to Towson.