Why have a baby when your 40?

[Anonymous]

My mom was 40 when she had me. I’m certainly glad she did. She was healthy and I don’t think she experienced menopause for another 10+ years. I didn’t feel like she was an “old mom” when I was growing up. She’s an active 80 now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having babies in your 20’s sucks. Ask me how I know 😓. I have family money and had childcare help from my family and nannies and it still sucked. I feel like I missed out on a lot of my youth. In this day and age, I would never encourage a woman to have kids in her 20’s unless they know for sure they’re ready to forever give up that wonderful feeling of total freedom and lack of responsibility.

No one cares that you’re grossed out btw OP. Why would you even bring that up?

I had 3 kids in my 20s without family money. We are doing fine financially now in our 30s and hoping for more kids. Sounds like you were just immature - personally I'm glad because my body bounced right back after each pregnancy and we enjoyed our young youth together.

You had 3 kids in your 20’s with no family money and you want to have more? What is your definition of “fine financially?” Must be different from mine or you must live in flyover.

Why would one necessarily need “family money” to do okay financially as an adult?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can people explain this to me please, I realize I'm being ignorant and probably will trigger the old farts on this forum. But why? Why not adopt? Do you really want to be 60 when your child is 20? 70 at 30? Women who have babies in their 40s really grosses me out.

I understand the economic and cultural differences for waiting to be older, but biologically you are at menopause age.

It’s good that you recognize your limitations. Why do you feel the need to spew your ignorance when you know for a fact that you are ignorant? Did you not get enough attention today?

I'm just asking. Besides a handful of reasons I got responses on a) my grammar and a bunch of pearl clutching responses. None of which explain why you chose to have a baby at such an old age.

Well, you got plenty of substantive responses.

Why do you want to know? Why do you care? Why does it gross you out? Do 25-yr-old pregnant women gross you out? Why? Why not?

Just asking.

And you need to look up the meaning of “pearl-clutching”.

I want to know because there seems to be quite a few women in this area who are old with young children.

I care because I'm trying to understand why you would want to have a toddler while "approaching" menopause. Pardon my previous posts that offended users.

It grosses me out because you're old. I get you are offended by that but you can't change your biological clock nor what you look like. You're 55 while your teenager is throwing a temper tantrum because you're taking too long to receive your 10% discount for being a senior?

No, 25 doesn't gross me out because that's an appropriate child rearing age.

Anyone offended by my question just is insecure with themselves for having children later in life.

You sound pretty rigid in your thoughts. Doesn't well when you become "old" at age 40.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are too young yet to realize that 40 is not old.

40 is middle age and too old to be having babies.

Then why are 40 year olds capable of getting pregnant?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can people explain this to me please, I realize I'm being ignorant and probably will trigger the old farts on this forum. But why? Why not adopt? Do you really want to be 60 when your child is 20? 70 at 30? Women who have babies in their 40s really grosses me out.

I understand the economic and cultural differences for waiting to be older, but biologically you are at menopause age.

Health issues - not mine - but my older child’s - took the focus of having another kid for a long while. So my second chance came when I was 42 and had a kid then. Not my ideal, but that is the way our lives worked out. It is not gross.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We were too busy learning our reading writing and arithmetic.

*YOU'RE*

haha I came on this thread to say the same thing.

[Anonymous]

It’s funny thar OP brings up the senior discount at age 55. My mom had me at 43 (not planned at all!) and it was awesome when she got that senior discount—all of a sudden we started going to movies all the time! Traveling more too. I remember that age 55 fondly. My mom came and lived with us for a while when I had difficult pregnancies in my 30s and has been our backup childcare when our nannies were sick or on vacation. She’s still doing pretty well now well into hee 90s, although definitely slowing down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can people explain this to me please, I realize I'm being ignorant and probably will trigger the old farts on this forum. But why? Why not adopt? Do you really want to be 60 when your child is 20? 70 at 30? Women who have babies in their 40s really grosses me out.

I understand the economic and cultural differences for waiting to be older, but biologically you are at menopause age.

It’s good that you recognize your limitations. Why do you feel the need to spew your ignorance when you know for a fact that you are ignorant? Did you not get enough attention today?

I'm just asking. Besides a handful of reasons I got responses on a) my grammar and a bunch of pearl clutching responses. None of which explain why you chose to have a baby at such an old age.

Well, you got plenty of substantive responses.

Why do you want to know? Why do you care? Why does it gross you out? Do 25-yr-old pregnant women gross you out? Why? Why not?

Just asking.

And you need to look up the meaning of “pearl-clutching”.

I want to know because there seems to be quite a few women in this area who are old with young children.

I care because I'm trying to understand why you would want to have a toddler while "approaching" menopause. Pardon my previous posts that offended users.

It grosses me out because you're old. I get you are offended by that but you can't change your biological clock nor what you look like. You're 55 while your teenager is throwing a temper tantrum because you're taking too long to receive your 10% discount for being a senior?

No, 25 doesn't gross me out because that's an appropriate child rearing age.

Anyone offended by my question just is insecure with themselves for having children later in life.

You sound pretty rigid in your thoughts. Doesn't well when you become "old" at age 40.

Wonder if pp is even femail, and clearly young enough that 35 is middle age and 40 is elderly. Guess what, pp. People have sex at 40--and 50, 60, 70, and if lucky 80. How's that for gross? And babies may result after 40. My parents were both born to mothers in their 40s --my dad's mom was 45 when he was born. His dad was born to a 51 year old father and a 41 year old mother and was their first child. I had a college acquaintance whose mother was in her 70s and whose dad was in his 90s.

[Anonymous]

* how in hell I typed femail I can't say

[Anonymous]

I was my mom's 6th child when she was 44. My parents just couldn't stop having sex!

[Anonymous]

Because older parents are the best kind OP! Now is the time fir you to try to learn how to read, write, and reason. Until then, please use birth control.

[Anonymous]

I don't think 55 qualifies as "senior" I think its over 60

There are literally tens of thousands of 40 year old mothers.

I think the cut off is generally considered to be 43/44 for those with normal fertility levels.

But didn't Holly Hunter have her twins at 47 and Geena Davis had her twins at 48

So not only do women of 40 seem highly capable of having healthy pregnancies, births and family lives, but women close to 50 are also capable of having MULTIPLE healthy, to term births and subsequence family lives.

Maybe you need to find something else, perhaps something really rare like a 60 year old giving birth or a 70 year old. I have seen instances of that in the press. I'd better understand minor outrage at that, to be fair.

But outrage at normality?

I think OP might have a mental disorder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think 55 qualifies as "senior" I think its over 60

There are literally tens of thousands of 40 year old mothers.

I think the cut off is generally considered to be 43/44 for those with normal fertility levels.

But didn't Holly Hunter have her twins at 47 and Geena Davis had her twins at 48

So not only do women of 40 seem highly capable of having healthy pregnancies, births and family lives, but women close to 50 are also capable of having MULTIPLE healthy, to term births and subsequence family lives.

Maybe you need to find something else, perhaps something really rare like a 60 year old giving birth or a 70 year old. I have seen instances of that in the press. I'd better understand minor outrage at that, to be fair.

But outrage at normality?

I think OP might have a mental disorder.

Kelley Preston had a baby at 48 after her eldest child died. I went to high school with her and my heart finally stopped aching for her when she gave birth again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can people explain this to me please, I realize I'm being ignorant and probably will trigger the old farts on this forum. But why? Why not adopt? Do you really want to be 60 when your child is 20? 70 at 30? Women who have babies in their 40s really grosses me out.

I understand the economic and cultural differences for waiting to be older, but biologically you are at menopause age.

Nope, I'm 45 and not even in premenopause. Yes, I'll be 62 with a 20 y/o. Birth in general is pretty gross and kind of works the same at 20 and at 40.

I was nowhere close to menopause at age 40.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can people explain this to me please, I realize I'm being ignorant and probably will trigger the old farts on this forum. But why? Why not adopt? Do you really want to be 60 when your child is 20? 70 at 30? Women who have babies in their 40s really grosses me out.

I understand the economic and cultural differences for waiting to be older, but biologically you are at menopause age.

Nope, I'm 45 and not even in premenopause. Yes, I'll be 62 with a 20 y/o. Birth in general is pretty gross and kind of works the same at 20 and at 40.

I was nowhere close to menopause at age 40.

It can happen, but I think that is fairly rare. My own mother and grandmothers were still in peri early 50s and didn't hit full menopause (full year without a period) until around 55. One of those grandmothers had 2 children, ages 42 and 44. In the 50s, no ART.