Parents of Asian-American Kids: What did you learn from the college admissions process?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To the PP (15:00), that’s just not true. Asian kids graduating from UMD and other schools are doing well also. Elite universities will open doors, but they are not a dealbreaker for success. Beyond your mid-20s, few employers care.

Have a marketable skill, grit, and social skills and you can be successful.

Very true. Once you have that first job subsequent employers don't care about where you went to college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, this thread is a good example of what's wrong with the approaches taken by many Asian families and why top colleges don't want full of Asian kids. There are ~4000 colleges in US. The "success" threshold for Asian families are (not all but most) are top 10-20 schools... The "Ivy/M/S or Bust" approach is not healthy. If I were an admission officer, I would do my best to mix kids from all SES/racial backgrounds. And I say this as an Asian parent. You see this happening at HS level too as you see here re. TJ posts

I do not agree.

Asians have to break the bamboo ceiling. All the kids who went on to do well in no-name colleges are White. Asians do not get this kind of opportunities unless they are going with colleges that have the name recognition. With all the steller stats my kid has, he cannot change the race that he is in. If a person is biracial (White with whatever other race) and if they can pass for White, they should position themselves as White candidate.

No one has the Ivy/M/S mentality, but the employers do. And the employers are White who want to employ White people. The only Asians they want to employ are the ones who can be exploited for a very low pay like the H1B visa slaves or someone who has the credentials and training from a good college.

Anyhow, the only silver lining is that most Asian-American parents will sacrifice a lot in their lives to make sure that the kids get an education and a financial leg-up in life. As the cost of college education keeps on rising Asian-Americans may come out on the top because their parents help them out.

Not an Asian but I do not agree with this premise. Employeers look for well rounded applicants. Employers look for kids who can do the jobs.
Many employers look to hire from State Colleges as applicants of all races are better rounded. Employers are looking for more than the
stereotypical nerd/grind. Employers, even in stem, want to hire kids who can lead meetings and take charge. In the industries I've hired in
we closely look at kids from State Colleges. Students from the Ivys (of any race) are generally considered special snow flakes in our industries.

if you'll permit a respectful observation: Your point, and the experience you bring with it, and its value in the forum, would all increase dramatically if you would avoid the use of pejoratives like "special snow flakes". It demeans you and your point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:+1, my neighbor's TJ kid with full SAT score and perfect everything else (leadership, volunteering...) was rejected by top 20 schools and ended up with UVA. The parents were so upset and didn't talk to anyone for months.

LOL... my asian kid attended St. Albans school with mediocre grade and SAT. He graduated from an unknown college but it really did not matter. He got a job because one of his high school "buddies" was the SVP at his father's company. My kid is now Senior VP at the company report directly to his high school buddy who is now Executive VP. He is making more money than he knows what to do with it. It's about the connection.

caucasian here but this is a great point and is very true in life

.. .and sad, and explains the need for lower income kids getting that connection through the elite institutions.

Not necessarily....I think the important part is connections from anywhere.....church connections.....summer job connections.....life connections

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a foreign student friend in college who explained in his native country, Oxford and Cambridge grads don’t do well simply because there aren’t many Oxybridge grads in his country who are in position to pull their alums. By the same logic, he explained US ivy grads don’t fare well because those in position to pull them are few and far between. At wide intervals, rare. It’s actually state university grads who do better.

This is why Penn State degrees Michigan degrees and military service are a big deal.

Penn State and Michigan graduate a lot of kids each year. Military service is also a plus.

Half of the hiring managers I know are in the reserves. If you interview with someone who is former military and you are former military
it is a huge plus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a feeling the Harvard thing might be just that the people back in mainland China might know only 1 or 2 American colleges, one of which might be Harvard. Why let these masses dictate one’s future? And Harvard’s water-downed degree for URMs aren’t really worth much any way. There are other schools out there.

funniest thing I've read here in a while.

Employers evaluate college grads holistically. No HR idiot hires people straight down the USNews ranking. That would be bizarre.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:+1, my neighbor's TJ kid with full SAT score and perfect everything else (leadership, volunteering...) was rejected by top 20 schools and ended up with UVA. The parents were so upset and didn't talk to anyone for months.

LOL... my asian kid attended St. Albans school with mediocre grade and SAT. He graduated from an unknown college but it really did not matter. He got a job because one of his high school "buddies" was the SVP at his father's company. My kid is now Senior VP at the company report directly to his high school buddy who is now Executive VP. He is making more money than he knows what to do with it. It's about the connection.

caucasian here but this is a great point and is very true in life

.. .and sad, and explains the need for lower income kids getting that connection through the elite institutions.

Not necessarily....I think the important part is connections from anywhere.....church connections.....summer job connections.....life connections

But low income people typically do not have connections in life (church, etc) to higher income folks, and the summer job for low income folks is more than likely a job at a fast food restaurant or some other dead end job. I grew up low income, and my first job out of college was at a non profit from an internship, which was fine, BUT, it's not the kind of connection that the ^^PP is referring to, ie "a school buddy" who is the SVP at a company that his dad owns. I, too, went to an unknown college, but you see how the disparity in connections plays out later in life between people who go to school with higher income folks and those who don't.

I'm not complaining about my life and how it turned out. I have a pretty cushy life now compared to most people, but when people say that connection is more important than grades, this partly explains why it's much harder for kids who don't go to well connected (ie wealthy) schools to get the higher paying jobs. Basically, what I'm hearing is that college kids should just get involved in the greek life, foster those social connections, and forget about studying really hard. Do the bare minimum effort so you don't flunk out, but party hard and socialize, and with those connections, you'll make SVP one day. There's something quite distasteful about this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a feeling the Harvard thing might be just that the people back in mainland China might know only 1 or 2 American colleges, one of which might be Harvard. Why let these masses dictate one’s future? And Harvard’s water-downed degree for URMs aren’t really worth much any way. There are other schools out there.

funniest thing I've read here in a while.

Employers evaluate college grads holistically. No HR idiot hires people straight down the USNews ranking. That would be bizarre.

DP. no, but many top companies show up only at certain colleges for recruiting fairs. They don't go to podunk state U to hire, and if you send your resume in cold turkey, chances are it will go down a blackhole unless you went to a prestigious university.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a feeling the Harvard thing might be just that the people back in mainland China might know only 1 or 2 American colleges, one of which might be Harvard. Why let these masses dictate one’s future? And Harvard’s water-downed degree for URMs aren’t really worth much any way. There are other schools out there.

funniest thing I've read here in a while.

Employers evaluate college grads holistically. No HR idiot hires people straight down the USNews ranking. That would be bizarre.

DP. no, but many top companies show up only at certain colleges for recruiting fairs. They don't go to podunk state U to hire, and if you send your resume in cold turkey, chances are it will go down a blackhole unless you went to a prestigious university.

Either recruiters come to your college or you go cold turkey. False dilemma. At my D’s SLAC, recruiters don’t come. Alums fly out current students to corporations throughout the country.

Name one employer in the country that hires people straight down the USNews ranking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:+1, my neighbor's TJ kid with full SAT score and perfect everything else (leadership, volunteering...) was rejected by top 20 schools and ended up with UVA. The parents were so upset and didn't talk to anyone for months.

LOL... my asian kid attended St. Albans school with mediocre grade and SAT. He graduated from an unknown college but it really did not matter. He got a job because one of his high school "buddies" was the SVP at his father's company. My kid is now Senior VP at the company report directly to his high school buddy who is now Executive VP. He is making more money than he knows what to do with it. It's about the connection.

caucasian here but this is a great point and is very true in life

.. .and sad, and explains the need for lower income kids getting that connection through the elite institutions.

Not necessarily....I think the important part is connections from anywhere.....church connections.....summer job connections.....life connections

But low income people typically do not have connections in life (church, etc) to higher income folks, and the summer job for low income folks is more than likely a job at a fast food restaurant or some other dead end job. I grew up low income, and my first job out of college was at a non profit from an internship, which was fine, BUT, it's not the kind of connection that the ^^PP is referring to, ie "a school buddy" who is the SVP at a company that his dad owns. I, too, went to an unknown college, but you see how the disparity in connections plays out later in life between people who go to school with higher income folks and those who don't.

I'm not complaining about my life and how it turned out. I have a pretty cushy life now compared to most people, but when people say that connection is more important than grades, this partly explains why it's much harder for kids who don't go to well connected (ie wealthy) schools to get the higher paying jobs. Basically, what I'm hearing is that college kids should just get involved in the greek life, foster those social connections, and forget about studying really hard. Do the bare minimum effort so you don't flunk out, but party hard and socialize, and with those connections, you'll make SVP one day. There's something quite distasteful about this.

It just depends on what field. Technology, science, medicine? No. Connections don’t matter quite as much. Finance, law, business, real estate? Yes, connections matter and, for sure, more than grades.

It’s always been this way, though!! I like it. Finding a job is all about networking. It puts some people at a disadvantage, but that’s life!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:+1, my neighbor's TJ kid with full SAT score and perfect everything else (leadership, volunteering...) was rejected by top 20 schools and ended up with UVA. The parents were so upset and didn't talk to anyone for months.

LOL... my asian kid attended St. Albans school with mediocre grade and SAT. He graduated from an unknown college but it really did not matter. He got a job because one of his high school "buddies" was the SVP at his father's company. My kid is now Senior VP at the company report directly to his high school buddy who is now Executive VP. He is making more money than he knows what to do with it. It's about the connection.

caucasian here but this is a great point and is very true in life

.. .and sad, and explains the need for lower income kids getting that connection through the elite institutions.

Not necessarily....I think the important part is connections from anywhere.....church connections.....summer job connections.....life connections

But low income people typically do not have connections in life (church, etc) to higher income folks, and the summer job for low income folks is more than likely a job at a fast food restaurant or some other dead end job. I grew up low income, and my first job out of college was at a non profit from an internship, which was fine, BUT, it's not the kind of connection that the ^^PP is referring to, ie "a school buddy" who is the SVP at a company that his dad owns. I, too, went to an unknown college, but you see how the disparity in connections plays out later in life between people who go to school with higher income folks and those who don't.

I'm not complaining about my life and how it turned out. I have a pretty cushy life now compared to most people, but when people say that connection is more important than grades, this partly explains why it's much harder for kids who don't go to well connected (ie wealthy) schools to get the higher paying jobs. Basically, what I'm hearing is that college kids should just get involved in the greek life, foster those social connections, and forget about studying really hard. Do the bare minimum effort so you don't flunk out, but party hard and socialize, and with those connections, you'll make SVP one day. There's something quite distasteful about this.

It just depends on what field. Technology, science, medicine? No. Connections don’t matter quite as much. Finance, law, business, real estate? Yes, connections matter and, for sure, more than grades.

It’s always been this way, though!! I like it. Finding a job is all about networking. It puts some people at a disadvantage, but that’s life!

White people get an advantage not based on their abilities or achievements: "that's life"

URMs get an advantage not based on their abilities or achievements: "burn the place down!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:+1, my neighbor's TJ kid with full SAT score and perfect everything else (leadership, volunteering...) was rejected by top 20 schools and ended up with UVA. The parents were so upset and didn't talk to anyone for months.

LOL... my asian kid attended St. Albans school with mediocre grade and SAT. He graduated from an unknown college but it really did not matter. He got a job because one of his high school "buddies" was the SVP at his father's company. My kid is now Senior VP at the company report directly to his high school buddy who is now Executive VP. He is making more money than he knows what to do with it. It's about the connection.

caucasian here but this is a great point and is very true in life

.. .and sad, and explains the need for lower income kids getting that connection through the elite institutions.

Not necessarily....I think the important part is connections from anywhere.....church connections.....summer job connections.....life connections

But low income people typically do not have connections in life (church, etc) to higher income folks, and the summer job for low income folks is more than likely a job at a fast food restaurant or some other dead end job. I grew up low income, and my first job out of college was at a non profit from an internship, which was fine, BUT, it's not the kind of connection that the ^^PP is referring to, ie "a school buddy" who is the SVP at a company that his dad owns. I, too, went to an unknown college, but you see how the disparity in connections plays out later in life between people who go to school with higher income folks and those who don't.

I'm not complaining about my life and how it turned out. I have a pretty cushy life now compared to most people, but when people say that connection is more important than grades, this partly explains why it's much harder for kids who don't go to well connected (ie wealthy) schools to get the higher paying jobs. Basically, what I'm hearing is that college kids should just get involved in the greek life, foster those social connections, and forget about studying really hard. Do the bare minimum effort so you don't flunk out, but party hard and socialize, and with those connections, you'll make SVP one day. There's something quite distasteful about this.

It just depends on what field. Technology, science, medicine? No. Connections don’t matter quite as much. Finance, law, business, real estate? Yes, connections matter and, for sure, more than grades.

It’s always been this way, though!! I like it. Finding a job is all about networking. It puts some people at a disadvantage, but that’s life!

White people get an advantage not based on their abilities or achievements: "that's life"

URMs get an advantage not based on their abilities or achievements: "burn the place down!"

You never heard “that’s life” growing up? My parents told me it allllll the time. It means “life’s unfair” and it sure is true.
Some people get jobs through networking, good for them. Maybe try to work on growing your circle. Race has nothing to do with it. ??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To the PP (15:00), that’s just not true. Asian kids graduating from UMD and other schools are doing well also. Elite universities will open doors, but they are not a dealbreaker for success. Beyond your mid-20s, few employers care.

Have a marketable skill, grit, and social skills and you can be successful.

Very true. Once you have that first job subsequent employers don't care about where you went to college.

Oh yes they do in law.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:+1, my neighbor's TJ kid with full SAT score and perfect everything else (leadership, volunteering...) was rejected by top 20 schools and ended up with UVA. The parents were so upset and didn't talk to anyone for months.

LOL... my asian kid attended St. Albans school with mediocre grade and SAT. He graduated from an unknown college but it really did not matter. He got a job because one of his high school "buddies" was the SVP at his father's company. My kid is now Senior VP at the company report directly to his high school buddy who is now Executive VP. He is making more money than he knows what to do with it. It's about the connection.

caucasian here but this is a great point and is very true in life

.. .and sad, and explains the need for lower income kids getting that connection through the elite institutions.

Not necessarily....I think the important part is connections from anywhere.....church connections.....summer job connections.....life connections

But low income people typically do not have connections in life (church, etc) to higher income folks, and the summer job for low income folks is more than likely a job at a fast food restaurant or some other dead end job. I grew up low income, and my first job out of college was at a non profit from an internship, which was fine, BUT, it's not the kind of connection that the ^^PP is referring to, ie "a school buddy" who is the SVP at a company that his dad owns. I, too, went to an unknown college, but you see how the disparity in connections plays out later in life between people who go to school with higher income folks and those who don't.

I'm not complaining about my life and how it turned out. I have a pretty cushy life now compared to most people, but when people say that connection is more important than grades, this partly explains why it's much harder for kids who don't go to well connected (ie wealthy) schools to get the higher paying jobs. Basically, what I'm hearing is that college kids should just get involved in the greek life, foster those social connections, and forget about studying really hard. Do the bare minimum effort so you don't flunk out, but party hard and socialize, and with those connections, you'll make SVP one day. There's something quite distasteful about this.

It just depends on what field. Technology, science, medicine? No. Connections don’t matter quite as much. Finance, law, business, real estate? Yes, connections matter and, for sure, more than grades.

It’s always been this way, though!! I like it. Finding a job is all about networking. It puts some people at a disadvantage, but that’s life!

White people get an advantage not based on their abilities or achievements: "that's life"

URMs get an advantage not based on their abilities or achievements: "burn the place down!"

You never heard “that’s life” growing up? My parents told me it allllll the time. It means “life’s unfair” and it sure is true.
Some people get jobs through networking, good for them. Maybe try to work on growing your circle. Race has nothing to do with it. ??

SMH.. you have to be white.

-signed an Asian American

When white people complain about something not being fair, they love to complain (like affirmative action). When URM complain about a system not being fair, white people say "that's life.. haven't your parents told you that"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:+1, my neighbor's TJ kid with full SAT score and perfect everything else (leadership, volunteering...) was rejected by top 20 schools and ended up with UVA. The parents were so upset and didn't talk to anyone for months.

LOL... my asian kid attended St. Albans school with mediocre grade and SAT. He graduated from an unknown college but it really did not matter. He got a job because one of his high school "buddies" was the SVP at his father's company. My kid is now Senior VP at the company report directly to his high school buddy who is now Executive VP. He is making more money than he knows what to do with it. It's about the connection.

caucasian here but this is a great point and is very true in life

.. .and sad, and explains the need for lower income kids getting that connection through the elite institutions.

Not necessarily....I think the important part is connections from anywhere.....church connections.....summer job connections.....life connections

But low income people typically do not have connections in life (church, etc) to higher income folks, and the summer job for low income folks is more than likely a job at a fast food restaurant or some other dead end job. I grew up low income, and my first job out of college was at a non profit from an internship, which was fine, BUT, it's not the kind of connection that the ^^PP is referring to, ie "a school buddy" who is the SVP at a company that his dad owns. I, too, went to an unknown college, but you see how the disparity in connections plays out later in life between people who go to school with higher income folks and those who don't.

I'm not complaining about my life and how it turned out. I have a pretty cushy life now compared to most people, but when people say that connection is more important than grades, this partly explains why it's much harder for kids who don't go to well connected (ie wealthy) schools to get the higher paying jobs. Basically, what I'm hearing is that college kids should just get involved in the greek life, foster those social connections, and forget about studying really hard. Do the bare minimum effort so you don't flunk out, but party hard and socialize, and with those connections, you'll make SVP one day. There's something quite distasteful about this.

It just depends on what field. Technology, science, medicine? No. Connections don’t matter quite as much. Finance, law, business, real estate? Yes, connections matter and, for sure, more than grades.

It’s always been this way, though!! I like it. Finding a job is all about networking. It puts some people at a disadvantage, but that’s life!

White people get an advantage not based on their abilities or achievements: "that's life"

URMs get an advantage not based on their abilities or achievements: "burn the place down!"

You never heard “that’s life” growing up? My parents told me it allllll the time. It means “life’s unfair” and it sure is true.
Some people get jobs through networking, good for them. Maybe try to work on growing your circle. Race has nothing to do with it. ??

SMH.. you have to be white.

-signed an Asian American

When white people complain about something not being fair, they love to complain (like affirmative action). When URM complain about a system not being fair, white people say "that's life.. haven't your parents told you that"?

I don’t even know what URM is. And yes, I’m white.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:+1, my neighbor's TJ kid with full SAT score and perfect everything else (leadership, volunteering...) was rejected by top 20 schools and ended up with UVA. The parents were so upset and didn't talk to anyone for months.

LOL... my asian kid attended St. Albans school with mediocre grade and SAT. He graduated from an unknown college but it really did not matter. He got a job because one of his high school "buddies" was the SVP at his father's company. My kid is now Senior VP at the company report directly to his high school buddy who is now Executive VP. He is making more money than he knows what to do with it. It's about the connection.

caucasian here but this is a great point and is very true in life

.. .and sad, and explains the need for lower income kids getting that connection through the elite institutions.

Not necessarily....I think the important part is connections from anywhere.....church connections.....summer job connections.....life connections

But low income people typically do not have connections in life (church, etc) to higher income folks, and the summer job for low income folks is more than likely a job at a fast food restaurant or some other dead end job. I grew up low income, and my first job out of college was at a non profit from an internship, which was fine, BUT, it's not the kind of connection that the ^^PP is referring to, ie "a school buddy" who is the SVP at a company that his dad owns. I, too, went to an unknown college, but you see how the disparity in connections plays out later in life between people who go to school with higher income folks and those who don't.

I'm not complaining about my life and how it turned out. I have a pretty cushy life now compared to most people, but when people say that connection is more important than grades, this partly explains why it's much harder for kids who don't go to well connected (ie wealthy) schools to get the higher paying jobs. Basically, what I'm hearing is that college kids should just get involved in the greek life, foster those social connections, and forget about studying really hard. Do the bare minimum effort so you don't flunk out, but party hard and socialize, and with those connections, you'll make SVP one day. There's something quite distasteful about this.

It just depends on what field. Technology, science, medicine? No. Connections don’t matter quite as much. Finance, law, business, real estate? Yes, connections matter and, for sure, more than grades.

It’s always been this way, though!! I like it. Finding a job is all about networking. It puts some people at a disadvantage, but that’s life!

White people get an advantage not based on their abilities or achievements: "that's life"

URMs get an advantage not based on their abilities or achievements: "burn the place down!"

You never heard “that’s life” growing up? My parents told me it allllll the time. It means “life’s unfair” and it sure is true.
Some people get jobs through networking, good for them. Maybe try to work on growing your circle. Race has nothing to do with it. ??

SMH.. you have to be white.

-signed an Asian American

When white people complain about something not being fair, they love to complain (like affirmative action). When URM complain about a system not being fair, white people say "that's life.. haven't your parents told you that"?

I don’t even know what URM is. And yes, I’m white.

LOL that explains it. Gad, I hope you are a troll.