Parents of Asian-American Kids: What did you learn from the college admissions process?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:+1, my neighbor's TJ kid with full SAT score and perfect everything else (leadership, volunteering...) was rejected by top 20 schools and ended up with UVA. The parents were so upset and didn't talk to anyone for months.

LOL... my asian kid attended St. Albans school with mediocre grade and SAT. He graduated from an unknown college but it really did not matter. He got a job because one of his high school "buddies" was the SVP at his father's company. My kid is now Senior VP at the company report directly to his high school buddy who is now Executive VP. He is making more money than he knows what to do with it. It's about the connection.

caucasian here but this is a great point and is very true in life

.. .and sad, and explains the need for lower income kids getting that connection through the elite institutions.

Not necessarily....I think the important part is connections from anywhere.....church connections.....summer job connections.....life connections

But low income people typically do not have connections in life (church, etc) to higher income folks, and the summer job for low income folks is more than likely a job at a fast food restaurant or some other dead end job. I grew up low income, and my first job out of college was at a non profit from an internship, which was fine, BUT, it's not the kind of connection that the ^^PP is referring to, ie "a school buddy" who is the SVP at a company that his dad owns. I, too, went to an unknown college, but you see how the disparity in connections plays out later in life between people who go to school with higher income folks and those who don't.

I'm not complaining about my life and how it turned out. I have a pretty cushy life now compared to most people, but when people say that connection is more important than grades, this partly explains why it's much harder for kids who don't go to well connected (ie wealthy) schools to get the higher paying jobs. Basically, what I'm hearing is that college kids should just get involved in the greek life, foster those social connections, and forget about studying really hard. Do the bare minimum effort so you don't flunk out, but party hard and socialize, and with those connections, you'll make SVP one day. There's something quite distasteful about this.

It just depends on what field. Technology, science, medicine? No. Connections don’t matter quite as much. Finance, law, business, real estate? Yes, connections matter and, for sure, more than grades.

It’s always been this way, though!! I like it. Finding a job is all about networking. It puts some people at a disadvantage, but that’s life!

White people get an advantage not based on their abilities or achievements: "that's life"

URMs get an advantage not based on their abilities or achievements: "burn the place down!"

You never heard “that’s life” growing up? My parents told me it allllll the time. It means “life’s unfair” and it sure is true.
Some people get jobs through networking, good for them. Maybe try to work on growing your circle. Race has nothing to do with it. ??

SMH.. you have to be white.

-signed an Asian American

When white people complain about something not being fair, they love to complain (like affirmative action). When URM complain about a system not being fair, white people say "that's life.. haven't your parents told you that"?

I don’t even know what URM is. And yes, I’m white.

LOL that explains it. Gad, I hope you are a troll.

No! Lol, I’m not a troll! I’m a regular person! (a Democrat!). I’m recently joining the thread and haven’t read through the pages & pages of comments. I just chimed in to say networking to get a job is normal & not a bad thing. Then I got called a troll and something about affirmative action. Lots of jumps!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a foreign student friend in college who explained in his native country, Oxford and Cambridge grads don’t do well simply because there aren’t many Oxybridge grads in his country who are in position to pull their alums. By the same logic, he explained US ivy grads don’t fare well because those in position to pull them are few and far between. At wide intervals, rare. It’s actually state university grads who do better.

This is why Penn State degrees Michigan degrees and military service are a big deal.

Penn State and Michigan graduate a lot of kids each year. Military service is also a plus.

Half of the hiring managers I know are in the reserves. If you interview with someone who is former military and you are former military
it is a huge plus.

This may have more to do with your particular social circles--none of the hiring managers I know are in the reserves.

[Anonymous]

Asian-Americans are competing against each other and upset about this. This video might help:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=merKgN6v7ZM

It's pretty lengthy but addresses the Asian handicap. Biggest takeaway is that schools aren't looking for the most rounded student, but rather a well-rounded class. The point is to stand out or have a niche.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:+1, my neighbor's TJ kid with full SAT score and perfect everything else (leadership, volunteering...) was rejected by top 20 schools and ended up with UVA. The parents were so upset and didn't talk to anyone for months.

LOL... my asian kid attended St. Albans school with mediocre grade and SAT. He graduated from an unknown college but it really did not matter. He got a job because one of his high school "buddies" was the SVP at his father's company. My kid is now Senior VP at the company report directly to his high school buddy who is now Executive VP. He is making more money than he knows what to do with it. It's about the connection.

caucasian here but this is a great point and is very true in life

.. .and sad, and explains the need for lower income kids getting that connection through the elite institutions.

Not necessarily....I think the important part is connections from anywhere.....church connections.....summer job connections.....life connections

But low income people typically do not have connections in life (church, etc) to higher income folks, and the summer job for low income folks is more than likely a job at a fast food restaurant or some other dead end job. I grew up low income, and my first job out of college was at a non profit from an internship, which was fine, BUT, it's not the kind of connection that the ^^PP is referring to, ie "a school buddy" who is the SVP at a company that his dad owns. I, too, went to an unknown college, but you see how the disparity in connections plays out later in life between people who go to school with higher income folks and those who don't.

I'm not complaining about my life and how it turned out. I have a pretty cushy life now compared to most people, but when people say that connection is more important than grades, this partly explains why it's much harder for kids who don't go to well connected (ie wealthy) schools to get the higher paying jobs. Basically, what I'm hearing is that college kids should just get involved in the greek life, foster those social connections, and forget about studying really hard. Do the bare minimum effort so you don't flunk out, but party hard and socialize, and with those connections, you'll make SVP one day. There's something quite distasteful about this.

It just depends on what field. Technology, science, medicine? No. Connections don’t matter quite as much. Finance, law, business, real estate? Yes, connections matter and, for sure, more than grades.

It’s always been this way, though!! I like it. Finding a job is all about networking. It puts some people at a disadvantage, but that’s life!

White people get an advantage not based on their abilities or achievements: "that's life"

URMs get an advantage not based on their abilities or achievements: "burn the place down!"

You never heard “that’s life” growing up? My parents told me it allllll the time. It means “life’s unfair” and it sure is true.
Some people get jobs through networking, good for them. Maybe try to work on growing your circle. Race has nothing to do with it. ??

SMH.. you have to be white.

-signed an Asian American

When white people complain about something not being fair, they love to complain (like affirmative action). When URM complain about a system not being fair, white people say "that's life.. haven't your parents told you that"?

I don’t even know what URM is. And yes, I’m white.

LOL that explains it. Gad, I hope you are a troll.

No! Lol, I’m not a troll! I’m a regular person! (a Democrat!). I’m recently joining the thread and haven’t read through the pages & pages of comments. I just chimed in to say networking to get a job is normal & not a bad thing. Then I got called a troll and something about affirmative action. Lots of jumps!

That's why it's sad.. because it is normal.. because lower income people don't have those connection, and even if they do very well in school they don't get those type of jobs. It's all about "who you know.." not about "how well you did in college." And if white people want to play that game, then I'm all for affirmative action so that URM get the same types of "connection" opportunities that wealthier people get. And I'm not even a Dem.

And I highly doubt you are a Dem because they are all about giving URM -- under represented minorities - a leg up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t even know what URM is. And yes, I’m white.

It stands for "Under Represented Minority" meaning any race that is under-represented in the cohort of that school that year compared to it's representation in the general population.

[Anonymous]

^^ If you don’t like the process of finding a job through connections, then what do you suggest? And don’t you find that overly controlling? To regulate who employers can hire?? That is nothing we’ve ever done in this country before. Students should do well in college, work/get internships if possible, network and make friends, have a good time and build social skills, and be scrappy.

Who knows maybe your child will benefit from a “connection.” You probably won’t mind it then!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^ If you don’t like the process of finding a job through connections, then what do you suggest? And don’t you find that overly controlling? To regulate who employers can hire?? That is nothing we’ve ever done in this country before. Students should do well in college, work/get internships if possible, network and make friends, have a good time and build social skills, and be scrappy.

Who knows maybe your child will benefit from a “connection.” You probably won’t mind it then!

You’re completely missing the point. It’s not that connections and networking are bad. It’s the hypocrisy of being all for connections coming out of college and all for merit and achievement going into college. You want to regulate who colleges admit so why not regulate who employers can hire.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ If you don’t like the process of finding a job through connections, then what do you suggest? And don’t you find that overly controlling? To regulate who employers can hire?? That is nothing we’ve ever done in this country before. Students should do well in college, work/get internships if possible, network and make friends, have a good time and build social skills, and be scrappy.

Who knows maybe your child will benefit from a “connection.” You probably won’t mind it then!

You’re completely missing the point. It’s not that connections and networking are bad. It’s the hypocrisy of being all for connections coming out of college and all for merit and achievement going into college. You want to regulate who colleges admit so why not regulate who employers can hire.

What are you talking about? I never said that. Some weird people on DCUM...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ If you don’t like the process of finding a job through connections, then what do you suggest? And don’t you find that overly controlling? To regulate who employers can hire?? That is nothing we’ve ever done in this country before. Students should do well in college, work/get internships if possible, network and make friends, have a good time and build social skills, and be scrappy.

Who knows maybe your child will benefit from a “connection.” You probably won’t mind it then!

You’re completely missing the point. It’s not that connections and networking are bad. It’s the hypocrisy of being all for connections coming out of college and all for merit and achievement going into college. You want to regulate who colleges admit so why not regulate who employers can hire.

What are you talking about? I never said that. Some weird people on DCUM...

You took half the original statement and turned it into some tangent about how people were saying connections are bad. That’s either disingenuous or just careless. You pick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^ If you don’t like the process of finding a job through connections, then what do you suggest? And don’t you find that overly controlling? To regulate who employers can hire?? That is nothing we’ve ever done in this country before. Students should do well in college, work/get internships if possible, network and make friends, have a good time and build social skills, and be scrappy.

Who knows maybe your child will benefit from a “connection.” You probably won’t mind it then!

If the govt regulates who employers must hire in the job market, what’s next, govt’s regulation of the marriage market? Already there’s not enough men to go around for a cerain people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ If you don’t like the process of finding a job through connections, then what do you suggest? And don’t you find that overly controlling? To regulate who employers can hire?? That is nothing we’ve ever done in this country before. Students should do well in college, work/get internships if possible, network and make friends, have a good time and build social skills, and be scrappy.

Who knows maybe your child will benefit from a “connection.” You probably won’t mind it then!

If the govt regulates who employers must hire in the job market, what’s next, govt’s regulation of the marriage market? Already there’s not enough men to go around for a cerain people.

You are a certified moron for taking that post literally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ If you don’t like the process of finding a job through connections, then what do you suggest? And don’t you find that overly controlling? To regulate who employers can hire?? That is nothing we’ve ever done in this country before. Students should do well in college, work/get internships if possible, network and make friends, have a good time and build social skills, and be scrappy.

Who knows maybe your child will benefit from a “connection.” You probably won’t mind it then!

If the govt regulates who employers must hire in the job market, what’s next, govt’s regulation of the marriage market? Already there’s not enough men to go around for a cerain people.

You are a certified moron for taking that post literally.

Take the logic to its conclusion, Socrates.

[Anonymous]

I learned to click white.

[Anonymous]

How about Asian American kids from Blair in Moco? What did college admissions process tell you?

[Anonymous]

Affirmative action from birth ‘till death do us apart. Affirmative action in collge and in employment. For life.