What's with the constant put down here of hardworking kids as "Striver" kids"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Forgive us you all look the same in your white hoods.

Nice try tiger mom.

You still don't get it but it's not on the SAT so don't worry about it.

Look, I'm not a striver and my kid doesn't have to be, because he has a naturally high IQ and white privilege. Your incessant crusade against "strivers" reflects on your own lack of confidence and ability. That's pretty much clear. Those of us who are actually confident and successful don't have to try to tear other people down. I quite like strivers (even though they do make me feel tired and yes, a bit insecure about my parenting.) This country pretty much depends on strivers moving us forward.

Then you have a complete misunderstanding of the term as it is being used in this thread.

Maybe we need to define the term again - but I thought it referred not to smart, hard working people but those who go about their pursuit of success in a cut-throat manner (as I've seen from some kids and their parents in my kid's AAP class). They don't give two f**ks about anybody else but their own personal success.

I mean, the fact that you even are monitoring what other kids (and parents) do in your child's AAP class (isn't that still elementary school??) indicates that you're obsessively projecting your own desperate need for success (i.e., striverism by your definition). Unless these kids are say, destroying classroom materials so other people can't use them, hacking the system to change their grades, or plagiarizing ... I don't really see how what they do impacts your kid. You sound jealous and insecure.

I'm not "monitoring." It was an example of what I consider stivers do. Like the kid who started a "Go" club because he heard it looked good on the college resume. He didn't really even like to play that game.

WHY DO YOU CARE IF A RANDOM KID LIKES TO PLAY GO?? You're really just digging yourself in with the pettiness. Seriously, leave the other kids and the games they play alone.

[Anonymous]

Sad thread. I don’t know if there is sock puppeting occurring here, but I certainly hope so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Many people reach their 20’s and end up very resentful that they spent their whole life thus far pursuing their parents’ dream instead of their own.

Bingo!

If you feel this way ... your parents were probably strivers.

If you don’t, your parents probably were not.

You’ve invested an astonishing amount of time on this petty thread. I get the overwhelming sense that you are deeply unhappy and disappointed in how your own life is unfolding so you cast about for ways to belittle or minimize the accomplishments of others. And I’m sure you lack the self-awareness to realize how pathetically unhealthy your behavior appears to others.

NP

That’s funny, because after that little screed you look like the unhealthy one to me. Almost as unhealthy as the strivers and their kids, just in a different way...

Lol....NP. Sure you are.

Just can’t handle that there is more than one person who thinks strivers like you suck. I am not the person you responded to. Ask Jeff. I triple dog dare you.

And +1 to that, which makes three, since I'm not part of the exchange above.

Ah, so you're on team imbecile, great. And it should be said that only cretins spend this much time obsessing over the motives of others. People with meaningful lives focus on their own business.

[Anonymous]

The DCUM definition of “striver” and the Urban Dictionary definition are not the same. People on this thread have attempted to explain that multiple times, but clearly without success. Many strivers are white upper middle class families with misguided notions that it is okay to push yourself forward at the expense of others through deceitfulness and cut-throat behavior. We really don’t need any more of those.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The DCUM definition of “striver” and the Urban Dictionary definition are not the same. People on this thread have attempted to explain that multiple times, but clearly without success. Many strivers are white upper middle class families with misguided notions that it is okay to push yourself forward at the expense of others through deceitfulness and cut-throat behavior. We really don’t need any more of those.

Given that the only example of a kid engaging in "deceitfulness and cut-throat behavior" that has been cited here is a child who supposedly doesn't like to play Go ... I am skeptical you're describing an accurate phenomenon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Forgive us you all look the same in your white hoods.

Nice try tiger mom.

You still don't get it but it's not on the SAT so don't worry about it.

Look, I'm not a striver and my kid doesn't have to be, because he has a naturally high IQ and white privilege. Your incessant crusade against "strivers" reflects on your own lack of confidence and ability. That's pretty much clear. Those of us who are actually confident and successful don't have to try to tear other people down. I quite like strivers (even though they do make me feel tired and yes, a bit insecure about my parenting.) This country pretty much depends on strivers moving us forward.

You clearly have no clue what the word striver means.

Um, you're the one using a word that has a dictionary definition with positive connotations to mean something else ...

DP. I'll try. To strive is positive. But a striver is stuck in the act, it's Sisyphus, why isn't there a completed task to point to? Setting aside the urban dictionary, or any cultural context, if a word like striver shows up in a letter of rec, it's a red flag, it's faint praise--why couldn't this mentor point to an accomplishment instead? Sure it's evidence of grit, but if this grit was getting-it-done, that would be the thrust. So that's how "striver" becomes neutral to negative even though "strive" is positive. Enough people have heard "striver" used in this lukewarm way, that it has become slang and as slang entirely negative.

[Anonymous]

Grit / work ethic = loves to learn, dreams of being a Dr to help people, studies day and night, goes to all the office hours and review sessions, really seeks to understand for the sake of knowledge.

Striver = wants to be a Dr because of the perception of wealth and status, works hard and studies but also looks for any advantage like being drinking buddies with the TA, getting prior semester tests to study from, and sometimes cheating.

Striving to me is not about the effort made, but the goal of the effort. Are you studying to master the material or to get an A for your GPA. Are you volunteering because the cause is something you believe in or because it will look good on your applications.

For those unable to go back to page 2 on their own...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Grit / work ethic = loves to learn, dreams of being a Dr to help people, studies day and night, goes to all the office hours and review sessions, really seeks to understand for the sake of knowledge.

Striver = wants to be a Dr because of the perception of wealth and status, works hard and studies but also looks for any advantage like being drinking buddies with the TA, getting prior semester tests to study from, and sometimes cheating.

Striving to me is not about the effort made, but the goal of the effort. Are you studying to master the material or to get an A for your GPA. Are you volunteering because the cause is something you believe in or because it will look good on your applications.

For those unable to go back to page 2 on their own...

You conveniently excised the racial context of the OP realizing this when confronted with Asian and SE Asian pre-med students, which may be the true source of the complaint. "I can't match them so they must be cheating or drones or whatever other term I can invent to demean them".

I love how you all can divine the internal motivations and family dynamics of everyone else so you can denigrate their achievements. The difference stated above is nothing more than what you perceive to be their motivation and whether YOU think they have pure intentions. In other words, it's a load of BS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Grit / work ethic = loves to learn, dreams of being a Dr to help people, studies day and night, goes to all the office hours and review sessions, really seeks to understand for the sake of knowledge.

Striver = wants to be a Dr because of the perception of wealth and status, works hard and studies but also looks for any advantage like being drinking buddies with the TA, getting prior semester tests to study from, and sometimes cheating.

Striving to me is not about the effort made, but the goal of the effort. Are you studying to master the material or to get an A for your GPA. Are you volunteering because the cause is something you believe in or because it will look good on your applications.

For those unable to go back to page 2 on their own...

What the hell is wrong with wanting to "get an A for their GPA"? Whoever you are, I suspect your kid lost a spot in their top choice college to one of these strivers. Accept the fact that your kid is probably a slacker.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The DCUM definition of “striver” and the Urban Dictionary definition are not the same. People on this thread have attempted to explain that multiple times, but clearly without success. Many strivers are white upper middle class families with misguided notions that it is okay to push yourself forward at the expense of others through deceitfulness and cut-throat behavior. We really don’t need any more of those.

Given that the only example of a kid engaging in "deceitfulness and cut-throat behavior" that has been cited here is a child who supposedly doesn't like to play Go ... I am skeptical you're describing an accurate phenomenon.

The only phenomenon being described here is that some kids are out performing their kids. Rather than accept it for what it is, they've invented this mythological 'striver' that only they can see so they can call everyone else stupid for not seeing it. It's like anti-vaxxers.

[Anonymous]

Never been a thread in more dire need of an agreed upon definition of a term than this one. I get the feeling people are talking about two different things. Some see it as a pejorative term and others, using the dictionary definition, see it as a positive thing. No wonder people are not understanding or agreeing with one another.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Grit / work ethic = loves to learn, dreams of being a Dr to help people, studies day and night, goes to all the office hours and review sessions, really seeks to understand for the sake of knowledge.

Striver = wants to be a Dr because of the perception of wealth and status, works hard and studies but also looks for any advantage like being drinking buddies with the TA, getting prior semester tests to study from, and sometimes cheating.

Striving to me is not about the effort made, but the goal of the effort. Are you studying to master the material or to get an A for your GPA. Are you volunteering because the cause is something you believe in or because it will look good on your applications.

For those unable to go back to page 2 on their own...

What the hell is wrong with wanting to "get an A for their GPA"? Whoever you are, I suspect your kid lost a spot in their top choice college to one of these strivers. Accept the fact that your kid is probably a slacker.

+1 these are probably all the same people who trash certain colleges or majors because the students don't make enough money coming out of school. when these people care about money and status, it's ok, but it's not ok for anyone else.

[Anonymous]

Overloading the word Striver with all kinds of negative meaning so that you can justify hating hardworking kids is like overloading the word "White" to mean racist and privileged, so one can feel justified to hate on any white person who does not grovel and become a woke ally

It's stupid. You can't just give any word any meaning and description you want.

The dictionary meaning of Striver is

To devote serious effort or energy
To struggle in opposition

Stop overloading the word with your favorite myths and biases, so that you can thumb your noses at Asian kids who actually embody an exemplary work ethic and teach others the value of delayed gratification

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Overloading the word Striver with all kinds of negative meaning so that you can justify hating hardworking kids is like overloading the word "White" to mean racist and privileged, so one can feel justified to hate on any white person who does not grovel and become a woke ally

It's stupid. You can't just give any word any meaning and description you want.

The dictionary meaning of Striver is

To devote serious effort or energy
To struggle in opposition

Stop overloading the word with your favorite myths and biases, so that you can thumb your noses at Asian kids who actually embody an exemplary work ethic and teach others the value of delayed gratification

c'mon. People on this forum talk of "gunners." Obviously they're not talking about someone who goes out hunting or to a shooting range.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Overloading the word Striver with all kinds of negative meaning so that you can justify hating hardworking kids is like overloading the word "White" to mean racist and privileged, so one can feel justified to hate on any white person who does not grovel and become a woke ally

It's stupid. You can't just give any word any meaning and description you want.

The dictionary meaning of Striver is

To devote serious effort or energy
To struggle in opposition

Stop overloading the word with your favorite myths and biases, so that you can thumb your noses at Asian kids who actually embody an exemplary work ethic and teach others the value of delayed gratification

First, I completely disagree with the racial component. Even if there are example of people calling a given Asian a striver, I've heard it applied to many more whites in my day. Second, you can't demand that words not be overloaded. They are. Everyday. That's the world you are in. You need to understand it, or at least send your kid to a college where they take some quality humanities classes and learn some nuance.