asked visiting SIL to take Lyft from airport and caused much drama...

[Anonymous]

Interesting thread. FWIW, I’m from the south and it would never occur to me to NOT personally pick up a visiting sibling from the airport.....

[Anonymous]

She sees him showing kindness as a character flaw

No. Many of us see inefficiency, insane inefficiency - having a very negative impact on the visit - traffic, hours wasted in traffic .. frustration/emotions souring what should be a joyful time, no one at their best.

[Anonymous]

Indiana Poster had it right! And PP

[Anonymous]

I can see why SIL might be kind of mad, but to hold onto a grudge over something this minor for a year is ridiculous. I would apologize (just me personally, I find it easier to just apologize if it would make the other person feel better) and then move on. If she wants to stay bitter and angry over something this inconsequential and let it ruin her sibling relationship, then that’s on her. Some families have real issues. My grandpa emptied out my fathers bank account (they have the same name), and I still remember my father crying (he rarely cried). My father forgave him. Not that he should have because my grandpa was a bad person for many reasons, but I could understand someone holding a grudge because of that. Your SIL must be so privileged she doesn’t understand reality or the real issues some dysfunctional families face. Move on and let your husband deal with her in the future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Interesting thread. FWIW, I’m from the south and it would never occur to me to NOT personally pick up a visiting sibling from the airport.....

It is a DC thing, especially from millennial transplants who are so eager to shed basic manners to feel more worldly.

[Anonymous]

She is a selfish idiot but many people are like that. I have had several requests to drive people to the airport at 5am, pick a neighbor up at 1am from BWI on a work night, one neighbor called and said her ride fell through, could I drop everything and drive her to the airport NOW? I did it, but would never dream of asking someone to that when there are so many options, taxi, Uber, Metro.

[Anonymous]

I would pick up someone who's older, doesn't speak English, or has other issues getting around. But someone who's my age (40s), speaks English, and has access to Uber/Lftye? Generally no, unless I had the day off. If I was visiting, I wouldn't inconvenience my hosts that way.

[Anonymous]

I would be so excited to see my siblings that I would def want to go pick them up!

Does no one else feel that way?
Does no one else feel that it’s the nice thing to do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would be so excited to see my siblings that I would def want to go pick them up!

Does no one else feel that way?
Does no one else feel that it’s the nice thing to do?

Yes. Obviously there are plenty of people in the thread who feel this way.

there are also people like me who love their siblings, but I'm not getting up at 5: 30 a. M. And driving an hour to go pick them up

when they get here, they have a beautiful meal waiting for them and I treat them all week. But I don't do airport runs. I pay for the Lyft Uber or cab for whoever is visiting, though.

Y'all can think that that is selfish or thoughtless or mannerless, and I don't really care.

[Anonymous]

Wait. THIS HAPPENED A YEAR AGO?

My gosh, this family needs to let it go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait. THIS HAPPENED A YEAR AGO?

My gosh, this family needs to let it go.

Yes regardless she should have let it go

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think families are just different. Some here see a visitor as a nuisance - there attitude is fine, as long as I don't have to lift a finger and do anything for you...then great visit. If you want to use your time and money to come here, that is your choice, don't expect me to be appreciative.

Other people see family and friends and visitors very differently.

In my family we always pick each other up at the airport. The idea of 'find your own way to our house if you want to come' is foreign to us. It sounds like OPs DH also comes from a family that has stronger bonds and appreciates visits and OP just sees having to entertain her SIL as a nuisance

We also do other things for each other, we do give time and money towards each other - and it is reciprocal. You are flying there and spending money to see us, we appreciate that so we will do x and y for you.

There are a lot of people who truly feel they should never do anything for anyone else. That their own needs and wants are all that matters and they feel entitled to be as self centered as they want to be.

Hah .. we get both. I do not have a strong bond with my parent and he can't be bothered to call me. But if he comes to visit I feel obligated to pick him up at the airport. I think this has more to do with acculturated norms than closeness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Interesting thread. FWIW, I’m from the south and it would never occur to me to NOT personally pick up a visiting sibling from the airport.....

I’m not from the South and I feel the same. Basic kindness and hospitality are lost in this microcosm of selfishness that is the DMV area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting thread. FWIW, I’m from the south and it would never occur to me to NOT personally pick up a visiting sibling from the airport.....

It is a DC thing, especially from millennial transplants who are so eager to shed basic manners to feel more worldly.[/quote

Another Midwest transplant. My parents don't drive to O'Hare at 6am (or after 10pm) for anybody. It's rude to get in at pre-dawn hours and expect a welcome party at a faraway airport.

[Anonymous]

My family is from the south. I never invite someone to my house and not offer them food. My husband's family is from new York, they will have you over for hours and basically starve you out. It's the difference between a hospital person and one who isn't.