asked visiting SIL to take Lyft from airport and caused much drama...

[Anonymous]

She’s being a brat.

[Anonymous]

You had 2 adults in the home?

Why couldn't one of you gone to pick up SIL?

And by 1 years old, a baby generally sleeps in at least a 6 hour block of time. It is not like you have a newborn nursing every 3 hours.

Frankly, the sleep thing probably sounded like a cop out given the age of your baby.

Maybe apologize to SIL under the guise of "new parents". A direct apology might go a long way towards mending fences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You and your husband didn’t seem particularly hospitable to her after she came out of her way to see you. Actions have consequences, as we are fond of saying around here.

Is the “drama” now that she doesn’t want to travel to see you again but you think she should because she’s single (why did you even include that in your description)?

There's nothing less hospitable about greeting a relative with excitement at hugs on your front porch compared with at the airport. The days of embracing directly at the airport gate are long gone - now it's a scramble to hop in the car in the pick up line before someone behind you honks. The mere fact that she didn't pick SIL up at the airport doesn't mean she wasn't hospitable. The car ride is simply part of the entire transportation route - no different than the fact that she didn't decide to ride alongside SIL in the airplane.

[Anonymous]

No wonder so many of you can’t keep a man for long. Op, if I were your SIL, I wouldn’t come visit you again for many years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You had 2 adults in the home?

Why couldn't one of you gone to pick up SIL?

And by 1 years old, a baby generally sleeps in at least a 6 hour block of time. It is not like you have a newborn nursing every 3 hours.

Frankly, the sleep thing probably sounded like a cop out given the age of your baby.

Maybe apologize to SIL under the guise of "new parents". A direct apology might go a long way towards mending fences.

There's nothing wrong with paying for a driver to pick up a relative. Getting to an airport at an inconvenient hour is a pain, and a trained professional is often better at transporting people. You sound like you lack both empathy and perspective.

[Anonymous]

Op, how exactly is this affecting you still?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No wonder so many of you can’t keep a man for long. Op, if I were your SIL, I wouldn’t come visit you again for many years.

OMG WHO are you people?!? I've never encountered so many people wanting to stir up trouble when none exists than on this message board! Are you people for real?

[Anonymous]

limit contact. not worth the stress.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You had 2 adults in the home?

Why couldn't one of you gone to pick up SIL?

And by 1 years old, a baby generally sleeps in at least a 6 hour block of time. It is not like you have a newborn nursing every 3 hours.

Frankly, the sleep thing probably sounded like a cop out given the age of your baby.

Maybe apologize to SIL under the guise of "new parents". A direct apology might go a long way towards mending fences.

There's nothing wrong with paying for a driver to pick up a relative. Getting to an airport at an inconvenient hour is a pain, and a trained professional is often better at transporting people. You sound like you lack both empathy and perspective.

In an emergency, yes.

A scheduled visit? You go pick up family.

OPs husband should have gotten her sister she paid a lot of money to fly in for a weekend.

They owe her an apology

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You had 2 adults in the home?

Why couldn't one of you gone to pick up SIL?

And by 1 years old, a baby generally sleeps in at least a 6 hour block of time. It is not like you have a newborn nursing every 3 hours.

Frankly, the sleep thing probably sounded like a cop out given the age of your baby.

Maybe apologize to SIL under the guise of "new parents". A direct apology might go a long way towards mending fences.

There's nothing wrong with paying for a driver to pick up a relative. Getting to an airport at an inconvenient hour is a pain, and a trained professional is often better at transporting people. You sound like you lack both empathy and perspective.

In an emergency, yes.

A scheduled visit? You go pick up family.

OPs husband should have gotten her sister she paid a lot of money to fly in for a weekend.

They owe her an apology

No, the SIL owes the apology. There is zero reason for family to greet you at the airport when a service or Uber can do the same job, and to hold a grudge a year later over this is absolutely ridiculous of the SIL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What culture are they?

I taught international students. My colleagues and I have a lecture on acculturation to American educational norms. One of the lessons we taught was "excuses that are not acceptable for missing a class." We specifically said that picking a relative up from the airport was not a good reason to miss a class - make your auntie visiting from India take a cab. In some cultures picking a relative up from the airport is a big deal.

Or if you are from a town where there are limited transport options (e.g., small town with no uber/lyft/supershuttle/etc.). My 32 y/o cousin from a small town took an uber for the first time in his life last month when he went to NYC and was upset nobody would pick him up at JFK until he realized none of his friends in NYC had a car.

[Anonymous]

You're living my life!

My SIL said, "my flight gets in at 6:15am but because it's so early I can take an Uber if you want." I said if you don't mind taking an Uber, that'd be great and I'd reimburse.

That was, apparently, the WRONG answer to that statement. My MIL has not let me forget it once. She was on the phone with my husband before my SIL even arrived at our house about how rude we were being. Now when my MIL comes to visit, no matter what time her flight gets in, she'll passive aggressively say, "I get in at 2 PM but I'll just Uber since it's probably going to be too much work for you to pick me up." And then we have to go through the motions of "begging" her not to do that and tell her how happy we are to pick her up. It's total BS. My SIL wasn't even upset about having to take the Uber. She texted her mom (my MIL) that she'd arrived and was in the Uber to our house and MIL flipped out that we didn't choose to pick her up instead. Five years I've dealt with this BS it since that fateful mistake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No wonder so many of you can’t keep a man for long. Op, if I were your SIL, I wouldn’t come visit you again for many years.

If you believe so strongly about airport pickups, why aren't you more angry at the brother/husband and questioning his ability to maintain a wife?

[Anonymous]

I'm really surprised at how passionately divided people are on this issue. personally I side with "not a big deal either way".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're living my life!

My SIL said, "my flight gets in at 6:15am but because it's so early I can take an Uber if you want." I said if you don't mind taking an Uber, that'd be great and I'd reimburse.

That was, apparently, the WRONG answer to that statement. My MIL has not let me forget it once. She was on the phone with my husband before my SIL even arrived at our house about how rude we were being. Now when my MIL comes to visit, no matter what time her flight gets in, she'll passive aggressively say, "I get in at 2 PM but I'll just Uber since it's probably going to be too much work for you to pick me up." And then we have to go through the motions of "begging" her not to do that and tell her how happy we are to pick her up. It's total BS. My SIL wasn't even upset about having to take the Uber. She texted her mom (my MIL) that she'd arrived and was in the Uber to our house and MIL flipped out that we didn't choose to pick her up instead. Five years I've dealt with this BS it since that fateful mistake.

What? Don't go along with her passive-aggression.

When she suggests taking an Uber, just say, "ok!" and that you're looking forward to seeing her.