asked visiting SIL to take Lyft from airport and caused much drama...

[Anonymous]

she (single, mid 30s) arrived 6 a.m. on redeye from west coast to BWI on sat morning to visit us for a long weekend and we had a 1 year old and were working on very little sleep.
i suggested she take a Lyft and said we'll pay for it. much resentment and bitterness followed and tainted the weekend and beyond. she did do as we asked and we did give her cash.
but a year later it still seems to cast a shadow on family interactions, esp traveling to see each other... DH is really bitter my suggestion now i wish i never suggested it. he's her only sib and they're close.
just venting...

[Anonymous]

She sounds pretty awful.

[Anonymous]

She’s nuts. I could see it being an issue if she were a struggling grad student and you didn’t offer to pay. Is she always so high maintenance?

[Anonymous]

Then he should have gone to get her. This is not your problem. I hope some day she has a 1yr old and gets over herself.

[Anonymous]

Ugh. Have been in this exact same scenario with my MIL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She’s nuts. I could see it being an issue if she were a struggling grad student and you didn’t offer to pay. Is she always so high maintenance?

even then, if she's an adult, why would she expect you to pay. of course most generous hosts would, but many might not think of it.

she sounds like a pita. i would limit contact.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Then he should have gone to get her. This is not your problem. I hope some day she has a 1yr old and gets over herself.

Seriously. Did you prevent him from going to get her at 6am, which of course means leaving at like 5:30am? If so, you should not have done that. If not, he should shut up.

[Anonymous]

My family is really weird about airport pickups too. I have a three year old and a six month old. You're arriving at 5PM, when we're all leaving work/daycare. It is literally a $12 Uber / Lyft ride. I will pay for it. Just take a darned Uber / Lyft, people!

I honestly think that because they're from an area where they never use ridesharing / taxis it's just an insecurity thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s nuts. I could see it being an issue if she were a struggling grad student and you didn’t offer to pay. Is she always so high maintenance?

even then, if she's an adult, why would she expect you to pay. of course most generous hosts would, but many might not think of it.

she sounds like a pita. i would limit contact.

Because she probably forked over a big chunk of her limited cash for airfare so the siblings could visit, saving her brother the greater expense and hassle of flying to her city with a wife and 1 year old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Then he should have gone to get her. This is not your problem. I hope some day she has a 1yr old and gets over herself.

Seriously. Did you prevent him from going to get her at 6am, which of course means leaving at like 5:30am? If so, you should not have done that. If not, he should shut up.

I don’t get it — why is he mad? Was he home? Did he want you and the 1 year old to accompany him at that hour? Could he not go by himself? If he chose not to go, that is on him and has nothing to do with you.

[Anonymous]

My in laws are exactly the same way. This would have caused a major issue in our house if I had agreed to get my MIL or SIL and then suggested they find alternate transportation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Then he should have gone to get her. This is not your problem. I hope some day she has a 1yr old and gets over herself.

Seriously. Did you prevent him from going to get her at 6am, which of course means leaving at like 5:30am? If so, you should not have done that. If not, he should shut up.

I don’t get it — why is he mad? Was he home? Did he want you and the 1 year old to accompany him at that hour? Could he not go by himself? If he chose not to go, that is on him and has nothing to do with you.

+1

[Anonymous]

What culture are they?

I taught international students. My colleagues and I have a lecture on acculturation to American educational norms. One of the lessons we taught was "excuses that are not acceptable for missing a class." We specifically said that picking a relative up from the airport was not a good reason to miss a class - make your auntie visiting from India take a cab. In some cultures picking a relative up from the airport is a big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s nuts. I could see it being an issue if she were a struggling grad student and you didn’t offer to pay. Is she always so high maintenance?

even then, if she's an adult, why would she expect you to pay. of course most generous hosts would, but many might not think of it.

she sounds like a pita. i would limit contact.

Because she probably forked over a big chunk of her limited cash for airfare so the siblings could visit, saving her brother the greater expense and hassle of flying to her city with a wife and 1 year old.

Okay, that's fine and in this case, OP did pay for her annoying a*&. She should stay home next time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:she (single, mid 30s) arrived 6 a.m. on redeye from west coast to BWI on sat morning to visit us for a long weekend and we had a 1 year old and were working on very little sleep.
i suggested she take a Lyft and said we'll pay for it. much resentment and bitterness followed and tainted the weekend and beyond. she did do as we asked and we did give her cash.
but a year later it still seems to cast a shadow on family interactions, esp traveling to see each other... DH is really bitter my suggestion now i wish i never suggested it. he's her only sib and they're close.
just venting...

How were you and 1yo involved in this at all? Why didn't DH go pick her up if she is such a PITA about it? Why would the whole family have to shlep to the airport at 6AM??