Has anyone on here found their spouse on the Ashley Madison list?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have read this subject line before and I am not sure why the following just occurred to me but it did.

No, I didn't find her on Ashley Madison but I did come home and find her on another man.

details please

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course, you should let fiances/wives/girlfriends know if you found their partner on the site. Why wouldn't you?Wouldn't you want to know? Or would you rather the whole world knew and you were the last to know. I would want to know.
Even if the trying-to-cheat spouse never got anywhere with their account, I know from personal experience, husbands who want to cheat, will keep trying till they find someone willing. Early counseling and testing for STDs can save a marriage/relationship than brushing it under the rug.

My DW and I have an explicit understanding that if one of us cheats, the other doesn't want to know. We have a great marriage, happy home, a great team. I wouldn't divorce her if she screwed up and she feels the same, but I would be very hurt if I found out she cheated. So I would be irate if some busy-body "friend" decided it was their holier-than-thou mission to rub my nose in some fling my wife had. I imagine others feel similarly, even if we are in the minority.

Yes, you are in the minority, and the rest of the world owes you no obligation to choose what they think is the right thing to do based on the possibility you are the kind of couple that has an open agreement about not wanting to know. Your arrangement happens, but is really unusual, so sorry, if I know you and I find out one of you is cheating on someone I consider a friend, I'm going to tell. Unless I know about your agreement.

And if you didn't want to know, oh well, I did it because I thought it was right which is the way we each need to act. Obviously you don't think it's right so you're not going to tell anyone else if you know about it. So be it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My spouse is on there, but I knew about it. he has my permission to get some strange every once in a while, as long as he tells me about it, and as long as it is not a romantic relationship.

However, now we are BOTH pretty embarrassed...no, horrified actually, knowing that many of our friends have probably seen his name on there. God, I'm just hoping no one says anything to me about it, I'll just die!

Oh well, maybe now as part of your agreement your spouse will get his "strange" in a less traceable way... cuz even before the hack, anyone who thought this was a fool proof secure thing is seriously delusional.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have read this subject line before and I am not sure why the following just occurred to me but it did.

No, I didn't find her on Ashley Madison but I did come home and find her on another man.

details please

Yeah, what did you do? Did you break up? Stay together? Did you know the guy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course, you should let fiances/wives/girlfriends know if you found their partner on the site. Why wouldn't you?Wouldn't you want to know? Or would you rather the whole world knew and you were the last to know. I would want to know.
Even if the trying-to-cheat spouse never got anywhere with their account, I know from personal experience, husbands who want to cheat, will keep trying till they find someone willing. Early counseling and testing for STDs can save a marriage/relationship than brushing it under the rug.

My DW and I have an explicit understanding that if one of us cheats, the other doesn't want to know. We have a great marriage, happy home, a great team. I wouldn't divorce her if she screwed up and she feels the same, but I would be very hurt if I found out she cheated. So I would be irate if some busy-body "friend" decided it was their holier-than-thou mission to rub my nose in some fling my wife had. I imagine others feel similarly, even if we are in the minority.

Yes, you are in the minority, and the rest of the world owes you no obligation to choose what they think is the right thing to do based on the possibility you are the kind of couple that has an open agreement about not wanting to know. Your arrangement happens, but is really unusual, so sorry, if I know you and I find out one of you is cheating on someone I consider a friend, I'm going to tell. Unless I know about your agreement.

And if you didn't want to know, oh well, I did it because I thought it was right which is the way we each need to act. Obviously you don't think it's right so you're not going to tell anyone else if you know about it. So be it.

+1. I had a girlfriend who had herpes but didn't tell me. Fortunately I didn't get herpes. But I make sure to tell all of her subsequent boyfriends that she has herpes. It's the right thing to do.

So I agree with you. I will put on my cape and do my own AM search and if I see someone in the database, I will inform their spouses. They must know. Now I know what you are thinking - the databases are easy to search and I am sure the cheated on spouse has probably done their own search and realized their spouse is on there and who needs me to rub it in that I now know too - but like Ms. Herpes, this information is too important to take a chance on that they don't know.

To quote Dionne Warwick - that's what friends are for....

[Anonymous]

How do you search for names?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course, you should let fiances/wives/girlfriends know if you found their partner on the site. Why wouldn't you?Wouldn't you want to know? Or would you rather the whole world knew and you were the last to know. I would want to know.
Even if the trying-to-cheat spouse never got anywhere with their account, I know from personal experience, husbands who want to cheat, will keep trying till they find someone willing. Early counseling and testing for STDs can save a marriage/relationship than brushing it under the rug.

My DW and I have an explicit understanding that if one of us cheats, the other doesn't want to know. We have a great marriage, happy home, a great team. I wouldn't divorce her if she screwed up and she feels the same, but I would be very hurt if I found out she cheated. So I would be irate if some busy-body "friend" decided it was their holier-than-thou mission to rub my nose in some fling my wife had. I imagine others feel similarly, even if we are in the minority.

Yes, you are in the minority, and the rest of the world owes you no obligation to choose what they think is the right thing to do based on the possibility you are the kind of couple that has an open agreement about not wanting to know. Your arrangement happens, but is really unusual, so sorry, if I know you and I find out one of you is cheating on someone I consider a friend, I'm going to tell. Unless I know about your agreement.

And if you didn't want to know, oh well, I did it because I thought it was right which is the way we each need to act. Obviously you don't think it's right so you're not going to tell anyone else if you know about it. So be it.

+1. I had a girlfriend who had herpes but didn't tell me. Fortunately I didn't get herpes. But I make sure to tell all of her subsequent boyfriends that she has herpes. It's the right thing to do.

So I agree with you. I will put on my cape and do my own AM search and if I see someone in the database, I will inform their spouses. They must know. Now I know what you are thinking - the databases are easy to search and I am sure the cheated on spouse has probably done their own search and realized their spouse is on there and who needs me to rub it in that I now know too - but like Ms. Herpes, this information is too important to take a chance on that they don't know.

To quote Dionne Warwick - that's what friends are for....

You are a self righteous asshole. Nobody elected you anything so put your cape in the trash and go back to the basement and watch MTV. Not that you care but there are a thousand different scenarios and the damage you could do, including bringing up something that may have already been dealt with, is incalculable. And for what reason? Your own sense of justice that again, NOBODY elected you to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course, you should let fiances/wives/girlfriends know if you found their partner on the site. Why wouldn't you?Wouldn't you want to know? Or would you rather the whole world knew and you were the last to know. I would want to know.
Even if the trying-to-cheat spouse never got anywhere with their account, I know from personal experience, husbands who want to cheat, will keep trying till they find someone willing. Early counseling and testing for STDs can save a marriage/relationship than brushing it under the rug.

My DW and I have an explicit understanding that if one of us cheats, the other doesn't want to know. We have a great marriage, happy home, a great team. I wouldn't divorce her if she screwed up and she feels the same, but I would be very hurt if I found out she cheated. So I would be irate if some busy-body "friend" decided it was their holier-than-thou mission to rub my nose in some fling my wife had. I imagine others feel similarly, even if we are in the minority.

Yes, you are in the minority, and the rest of the world owes you no obligation to choose what they think is the right thing to do based on the possibility you are the kind of couple that has an open agreement about not wanting to know. Your arrangement happens, but is really unusual, so sorry, if I know you and I find out one of you is cheating on someone I consider a friend, I'm going to tell. Unless I know about your agreement.

And if you didn't want to know, oh well, I did it because I thought it was right which is the way we each need to act. Obviously you don't think it's right so you're not going to tell anyone else if you know about it. So be it.

+1

+1. I had a girlfriend who had herpes but didn't tell me. Fortunately I didn't get herpes. But I make sure to tell all of her subsequent boyfriends that she has herpes. It's the right thing to do.

So I agree with you. I will put on my cape and do my own AM search and if I see someone in the database, I will inform their spouses. They must know. Now I know what you are thinking - the databases are easy to search and I am sure the cheated on spouse has probably done their own search and realized their spouse is on there and who needs me to rub it in that I now know too - but like Ms. Herpes, this information is too important to take a chance on that they don't know.

To quote Dionne Warwick - that's what friends are for....

You are a self righteous asshole. Nobody elected you anything so put your cape in the trash and go back to the basement and watch MTV. Not that you care but there are a thousand different scenarios and the damage you could do, including bringing up something that may have already been dealt with, is incalculable. And for what reason? Your own sense of justice that again, NOBODY elected you to do.

[Anonymous]

I am curious, what are you guys going to do after you've searched all there is to search in this AM pile? And gossiped about everyone that you found information about? Is there life for you after this? Are you going to be ok?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course, you should let fiances/wives/girlfriends know if you found their partner on the site. Why wouldn't you?Wouldn't you want to know? Or would you rather the whole world knew and you were the last to know. I would want to know.
Even if the trying-to-cheat spouse never got anywhere with their account, I know from personal experience, husbands who want to cheat, will keep trying till they find someone willing. Early counseling and testing for STDs can save a marriage/relationship than brushing it under the rug.

My DW and I have an explicit understanding that if one of us cheats, the other doesn't want to know. We have a great marriage, happy home, a great team. I wouldn't divorce her if she screwed up and she feels the same, but I would be very hurt if I found out she cheated. So I would be irate if some busy-body "friend" decided it was their holier-than-thou mission to rub my nose in some fling my wife had. I imagine others feel similarly, even if we are in the minority.

Yes, you are in the minority, and the rest of the world owes you no obligation to choose what they think is the right thing to do based on the possibility you are the kind of couple that has an open agreement about not wanting to know. Your arrangement happens, but is really unusual, so sorry, if I know you and I find out one of you is cheating on someone I consider a friend, I'm going to tell. Unless I know about your agreement.

And if you didn't want to know, oh well, I did it because I thought it was right which is the way we each need to act. Obviously you don't think it's right so you're not going to tell anyone else if you know about it. So be it.

I'm not the poster you quoted, but I fall into the same camp as him. So possibly breaking up a family is the right thing to do because YOU think so? If someones spouse was so concerned they could have looked it up themselves. You however just want to make sure that they know because YOU think it's the right thing to do. Screw the people you are affecting, right? Peoples personal business should be just that. Personal. Unless you are married to them, stay out of their business. Did you ever think that maybe a family who was affected already knew and that you could possibly be causing them even more embarrassment by saying something? I would say no, probably not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am curious, what are you guys going to do after you've searched all there is to search in this AM pile? And gossiped about everyone that you found information about? Is there life for you after this? Are you going to be ok?

I'm going to take up macrame.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course, you should let fiances/wives/girlfriends know if you found their partner on the site. Why wouldn't you?Wouldn't you want to know? Or would you rather the whole world knew and you were the last to know. I would want to know.
Even if the trying-to-cheat spouse never got anywhere with their account, I know from personal experience, husbands who want to cheat, will keep trying till they find someone willing. Early counseling and testing for STDs can save a marriage/relationship than brushing it under the rug.

My DW and I have an explicit understanding that if one of us cheats, the other doesn't want to know. We have a great marriage, happy home, a great team. I wouldn't divorce her if she screwed up and she feels the same, but I would be very hurt if I found out she cheated. So I would be irate if some busy-body "friend" decided it was their holier-than-thou mission to rub my nose in some fling my wife had. I imagine others feel similarly, even if we are in the minority.

Yes, you are in the minority, and the rest of the world owes you no obligation to choose what they think is the right thing to do based on the possibility you are the kind of couple that has an open agreement about not wanting to know. Your arrangement happens, but is really unusual, so sorry, if I know you and I find out one of you is cheating on someone I consider a friend, I'm going to tell. Unless I know about your agreement.

And if you didn't want to know, oh well, I did it because I thought it was right which is the way we each need to act. Obviously you don't think it's right so you're not going to tell anyone else if you know about it. So be it.

I don't think women should be allowed to feed their infants formula because they are harming their infants. But somehow I manage to not email all my female friends the scientific literature about the benefits of breastfeeding. Because I assume they know this or they could look it up if they cared. Also, I am not an asshole.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course, you should let fiances/wives/girlfriends know if you found their partner on the site. Why wouldn't you?Wouldn't you want to know? Or would you rather the whole world knew and you were the last to know. I would want to know.
Even if the trying-to-cheat spouse never got anywhere with their account, I know from personal experience, husbands who want to cheat, will keep trying till they find someone willing. Early counseling and testing for STDs can save a marriage/relationship than brushing it under the rug.

My DW and I have an explicit understanding that if one of us cheats, the other doesn't want to know. We have a great marriage, happy home, a great team. I wouldn't divorce her if she screwed up and she feels the same, but I would be very hurt if I found out she cheated. So I would be irate if some busy-body "friend" decided it was their holier-than-thou mission to rub my nose in some fling my wife had. I imagine others feel similarly, even if we are in the minority.

Yes, you are in the minority, and the rest of the world owes you no obligation to choose what they think is the right thing to do based on the possibility you are the kind of couple that has an open agreement about not wanting to know. Your arrangement happens, but is really unusual, so sorry, if I know you and I find out one of you is cheating on someone I consider a friend, I'm going to tell. Unless I know about your agreement.

And if you didn't want to know, oh well, I did it because I thought it was right which is the way we each need to act. Obviously you don't think it's right so you're not going to tell anyone else if you know about it. So be it.

+1. I had a girlfriend who had herpes but didn't tell me. Fortunately I didn't get herpes. But I make sure to tell all of her subsequent boyfriends that she has herpes. It's the right thing to do.

So I agree with you. I will put on my cape and do my own AM search and if I see someone in the database, I will inform their spouses. They must know. Now I know what you are thinking - the databases are easy to search and I am sure the cheated on spouse has probably done their own search and realized their spouse is on there and who needs me to rub it in that I now know too - but like Ms. Herpes, this information is too important to take a chance on that they don't know.

To quote Dionne Warwick - that's what friends are for....

You are a self righteous asshole. Nobody elected you anything so put your cape in the trash and go back to the basement and watch MTV. Not that you care but there are a thousand different scenarios and the damage you could do, including bringing up something that may have already been dealt with, is incalculable. And for what reason? Your own sense of justice that again, NOBODY elected you to do.

^^ funny how easy it is to spot the cheaters / people on the AM list..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course, you should let fiances/wives/girlfriends know if you found their partner on the site. Why wouldn't you?Wouldn't you want to know? Or would you rather the whole world knew and you were the last to know. I would want to know.
Even if the trying-to-cheat spouse never got anywhere with their account, I know from personal experience, husbands who want to cheat, will keep trying till they find someone willing. Early counseling and testing for STDs can save a marriage/relationship than brushing it under the rug.

My DW and I have an explicit understanding that if one of us cheats, the other doesn't want to know. We have a great marriage, happy home, a great team. I wouldn't divorce her if she screwed up and she feels the same, but I would be very hurt if I found out she cheated. So I would be irate if some busy-body "friend" decided it was their holier-than-thou mission to rub my nose in some fling my wife had. I imagine others feel similarly, even if we are in the minority.

Yes, you are in the minority, and the rest of the world owes you no obligation to choose what they think is the right thing to do based on the possibility you are the kind of couple that has an open agreement about not wanting to know. Your arrangement happens, but is really unusual, so sorry, if I know you and I find out one of you is cheating on someone I consider a friend, I'm going to tell. Unless I know about your agreement.

And if you didn't want to know, oh well, I did it because I thought it was right which is the way we each need to act. Obviously you don't think it's right so you're not going to tell anyone else if you know about it. So be it.

+1. I had a girlfriend who had herpes but didn't tell me. Fortunately I didn't get herpes. But I make sure to tell all of her subsequent boyfriends that she has herpes. It's the right thing to do.

So I agree with you. I will put on my cape and do my own AM search and if I see someone in the database, I will inform their spouses. They must know. Now I know what you are thinking - the databases are easy to search and I am sure the cheated on spouse has probably done their own search and realized their spouse is on there and who needs me to rub it in that I now know too - but like Ms. Herpes, this information is too important to take a chance on that they don't know.

To quote Dionne Warwick - that's what friends are for....

You are a self righteous asshole. Nobody elected you anything so put your cape in the trash and go back to the basement and watch MTV. Not that you care but there are a thousand different scenarios and the damage you could do, including bringing up something that may have already been dealt with, is incalculable. And for what reason? Your own sense of justice that again, NOBODY elected you to do.

^^ funny how easy it is to spot the cheaters / people on the AM list..

Funny how easy it is to spot the immature with limited life experience and assumptive to boot.

No, my name isn't on that list nor am I a cheater. And not one thing I said was wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course, you should let fiances/wives/girlfriends know if you found their partner on the site. Why wouldn't you?Wouldn't you want to know? Or would you rather the whole world knew and you were the last to know. I would want to know.
Even if the trying-to-cheat spouse never got anywhere with their account, I know from personal experience, husbands who want to cheat, will keep trying till they find someone willing. Early counseling and testing for STDs can save a marriage/relationship than brushing it under the rug.

My DW and I have an explicit understanding that if one of us cheats, the other doesn't want to know. We have a great marriage, happy home, a great team. I wouldn't divorce her if she screwed up and she feels the same, but I would be very hurt if I found out she cheated. So I would be irate if some busy-body "friend" decided it was their holier-than-thou mission to rub my nose in some fling my wife had. I imagine others feel similarly, even if we are in the minority.

Yes, you are in the minority, and the rest of the world owes you no obligation to choose what they think is the right thing to do based on the possibility you are the kind of couple that has an open agreement about not wanting to know. Your arrangement happens, but is really unusual, so sorry, if I know you and I find out one of you is cheating on someone I consider a friend, I'm going to tell. Unless I know about your agreement.

And if you didn't want to know, oh well, I did it because I thought it was right which is the way we each need to act. Obviously you don't think it's right so you're not going to tell anyone else if you know about it. So be it.

+1. I had a girlfriend who had herpes but didn't tell me. Fortunately I didn't get herpes. But I make sure to tell all of her subsequent boyfriends that she has herpes. It's the right thing to do.

So I agree with you. I will put on my cape and do my own AM search and if I see someone in the database, I will inform their spouses. They must know. Now I know what you are thinking - the databases are easy to search and I am sure the cheated on spouse has probably done their own search and realized their spouse is on there and who needs me to rub it in that I now know too - but like Ms. Herpes, this information is too important to take a chance on that they don't know.

To quote Dionne Warwick - that's what friends are for....

You are a self righteous asshole. Nobody elected you anything so put your cape in the trash and go back to the basement and watch MTV. Not that you care but there are a thousand different scenarios and the damage you could do, including bringing up something that may have already been dealt with, is incalculable. And for what reason? Your own sense of justice that again, NOBODY elected you to do.

Not the PP you're talking to, but when adults make asinine selfish horrible choices, like his ex not telling him she had herpes, then the person who makes the asinine choice does NOT get to choose how the person they wronged reacts. You make a bad choice, then you are signing on for the unknown because you never know what negative fall out there will be.

The PP who calls all the subsequent boyfriends may be taking things too far (in my opinion too, that is a bit much after the first couple of times. cuz why is he still tracking who she dates?), but for you to tell that person that no one elected him to do it... sorry, his ex elected him when she did a shitty thing to him that could have permanently affected his health. That was the election right there.