Has anyone on here found their spouse on the Ashley Madison list?

[Anonymous]

If so, what are you going to do about it?

I'm trying to decide whether I want to search for my spouse or not. I'm afraid of finding out...

[Anonymous]

Spouse? No. Lover? Yes

I told him I'm still processing how I feel.

[Anonymous]

Ex boyfriend. It was good to find him because 1) closure 2) I'm not crazy 3) Always trust your intuition

[Anonymous]

I didn't find my spouse, but I did come across a couple of spouses of women I'm friendly with while skimming the Fairfax Underground list. I really regret doing that, I feel awful knowing that information.

[Anonymous]

Yes. Trying to process.

We are going to start with counseling and go from there.

[Anonymous]

Found a really good friends husband on there. Can't decide if I tell her or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Found a really good friends husband on there. Can't decide if I tell her or not.

I'm in the same boat. On the one hand, I would want to know. On the other hand, I don't want to bring it up if she already knows and is hoping no one has seen his name.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand how people are searching for and finding names. Aren't there millions of names?

[Anonymous]

Found the name of a guy who is engaged to be married. The marriage is taking place in the near future.

I don't know if his fiancee is aware of this. If I were in her place I'd want to know but that does not mean I should tell her. OTOH, if she finds out later that I knew and did not tell her I don't know what her reaction would be.

[Anonymous]

Found ex-husband on there. Am shocked!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand how people are searching for and finding names. Aren't there millions of names?

+1

[Anonymous]

I don't think it's your place to inform spouses or fiances. It's between them. This whole thing is painful enough that people don't need the added embarrassment of having their friends in on this painful moment.

I think this is an opportunity for good and many of these people on that website are going to make significant changes in their lives. I think anyone meddling in someone else's relationship may make things more difficult for these couples to mend.

[Anonymous]

Found some community members and friends. Reinforced my general notion that you can't know what's going on in other people's lives. I mean, I now have this extra piece of information about some of them. But I can't evaluate the information without context I'll never have.

(Except, Jesus people - USE A FAKE E-MAIL ADDRESS!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Found the name of a guy who is engaged to be married. The marriage is taking place in the near future.

I don't know if his fiancee is aware of this. If I were in her place I'd want to know but that does not mean I should tell her. OTOH, if she finds out later that I knew and did not tell her I don't know what her reaction would be.

Can you let her know anonymously? This is one situation where I err on the side of exposing. Marriages, families, kids are more complicated but this one is easier to undo.

[Anonymous]

Found a friend of DHs. He and his wife are already in the process of a divorce so even if she didn't know about the AM account before this, things obviously weren't good.