Please tell me, 42yo mom of two young kids, the realities of divorce

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dating will be harder than you think. Your equals will be checking out the 30yr olds. Single moms are not a hot commodity.

Seriously, this is exactly what my friends who divorced found out. None have found any new lasting relationships.

Sounds f-ing depressing. If she can pass for 10 years younger, it is time to get a freaking fake drivers' license.

OK, I wasn't at your wedding, so what were your marriage vows? Marriage for a period while it benefits my personal growth and companionship, then buh-bye? Those weren't my vows. I am a 50yo DH who has not had the easiest time with my DW, but divorce (while I have often dreamt about it, in a Walter Mitty-kind of way), is just not an option. I said the vows. (No one is alleging abuse, serial infidelity, etc. here.)

BUT, rant aside, my own DW was late 30s with a child when we met and married, so if you do decide to throw your vows away, there are people out there.

Stupid shallow argument.

So if one side just stops having sex. There are no marriage Vows that I am aware of that says you must have sex once a week but there should be. Marriage vows mean nothing when there is no intimacy whether emotional or physical.

[Anonymous]

We are living in the milf moment. If OP can fit the bill, fruits await.

[Anonymous]

NP here.
I left my marriage because my ex emotionally and physically left me and the kids first. Physically he was around, but barely. I tried for years to hold on to our marriage, tried all kinds of therapy, begged him to be more engaged, and he would "come back to us" for a week or two, then it was back to his old habits of falling asleep on the couch instead of coming to bed with me, working late or getting stuck in traffic, not taking any responsibility for the house or the kids or me, or for himself. He was just gone. I was super stressed for years, and throw in a job loss or two on his end, and serious financial pressures, and voila, a dead marriage. I finally screwed up the courage to leave (I had tried to talk to him about my feelings of loneliness, not having a partner, etc. many many MANY times- with and without therapists). It's been hard, I have three kids, all the time (he's not interested in seeing them), he pays no support, but I am happier because I don't have to live with someone who holds me in contempt. Who sees me as the source of all his problems (his words). I haven't dated much, and that makes me sad. I would like a companion to go out to dinner with, but if that's not in the cards, I need to make my peace with it. I have a job I love, three awesome kids, great friends, and I do my best to keep myself together (holla Botox!). My friendships have changed, as other posters said. Some have doubled down and stuck with me, others bailed. I get it. I've also made new friends who are experiencing similar issues.

Looking back, he was probably having an affair, but that doesn't bother me. What bothers me is that he broke our vows, yet wouldn't be honest with me about his desire to get out. He's unemployed, couch surfing, and generally a mess, but it's his mess now, and that is healthier for me and our kids.

So yes, it's hard. I'm on my own raising three kids. But I'm doing it the best way I can, and I don't have a fake marriage to prop up. Good luck OP.

[Anonymous]

Concerning the MILF poster above. Many men recognize that women in OPs demographic get super sexy and are good pickings for dating and sex. If she can find some time to get out there she will get just a ton of action.