How do I tell the foodie hosting me I'm a very picky eater?
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Anonymous
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OP, you've received good advice here. Re: this particular dinner, you RSVP that you're looking forward to seeing her but wanted to remind her that you cannot tolerate spicy food (this is the only of your "issues" that is reasonable in this context). Then you go to the dinner and make an effort to try things, if for no other reason than that it is polite. If she bugs you about not eating things, you can just flat out say "Jane, I'm just not a very adventurous eater. I've learned a lot about food from you, and I am trying, but this (whatever the dish is) is outside my usual palate."
As for the rest of your issues, there are a lot of dishes at various ethnic restaurants that you might enjoy. Sticking to water and bread is probably worse for you in the long term, especially because it seems to cause you anxiety. At an Indian restaurant, for example, you could get something from the tandoor (the brick oven). Look for things that are marinated in a yogurt sauce or are listed as being not spicy. There are also rice dishes called biryani (which is similar to the fried rice you would get at a Chinese restaurant). Given your aversion to "mush", I suspect that most curries would not appeal to you, but tandoori chicken is basically just grilled chicken. At a Mexican restaurant, you could order fajitas with the meat of your choice (or just vegetables). They will grill the meat and provide side dishes that have beans, rice, tortillas, cheese and sour cream. You are welcome to eat as few or as many of those things as you'd like. At a Thai restaurant, there is a fried rice that you can get with meat in it. There is also pad Thai, which are noodles that are not spicy or mushy. |
Anonymous
| OP are you an albino 7 year old? Because your taste range is so limited that you sound like a child--or a person with an actual mental health issue or a person from the middle of nowhere who lacks any sort of imagination. |
Anonymous
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You should just decline the invitation honestly.
"Thank you so much for the invitation but I'm so limited in my diet that I wouldn't feel right taking up a seat. There are so many things off limits to me that it just doesn't make sense and would be far more aggravation for you than I want to cause. I hope you have a great night and I look forward to hearing about it." If she persists (as I would with a dear friend) then you say that will be bringing your own meal so that she doesn't have to worry about you. There is no scenario in which you can dictate the menu based on the extent of the dietary limitations you're expressing. |
Anonymous
Agree. On a sidenote I think the OP should work on expanding her eating horizons. What a very bland existence. |
Anonymous
| "You have to try new foods because they might be gooooooo-ooodd!" Thank you Daniel Tiger. |
Anonymous
Oh please. I don't agree with OP necessarily but I don't think it's a child's palate. I think it's a typical "American" palate from 30 yrs ago -- frankly I still know small town people who think of Chinese as exotic foreign food. It just seems even more odd in the DC area where most people do eat many ethnic foods, but take her back to the middle of Kansas and she'd fit in just fine. |
Anonymous
| I invited a friend and their family over for dinner at the last minute (four hours before) they tell me they are not eating, meat, sugar or milk. She THANK GOD brought a side dish for everyone and I put out a large salad buffet. Her bringing the side dish really made me feel better. |
Anonymous
| I hope never to raise my kids to be as picky as you. |
Anonymous
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Just call and say you have dietary restrictions that include most spices. Offer to bring a plain dish for yourself.
And then, don't arrive hungry. You might want to learn to deal with mushy. |
Anonymous
So, your real problem is that you don't want to deal with this friend and her comments. If that is the case, decline the invite and be done with it. You clearly have no interest in either broadening or sucking up (i.e. my kid doesn't like ANY foods besides cheese sticks and granola bars, but he eats a well-rounded diet anyway because he believes in being healthy - it's just food). Be how you want to be, but your limited palate is life-limiting. |
The first time I ate strawberries with vinegar on them I (didn't know about the vinegar and) thought they'd gone horribly rotten. When I was in Mexico I tried chicken mole even though it looked like liquid shit on top of chicken. It tasted fine. I had an Indian roommate and tried her food numerous times and always wound up gulping tons of water. I was once given a complementary glass of OJ at a restaurant. When I took a sip it tasted wrong and mentioned it to the friend I was brunching with - she tasted it and laughed at me - it had champagne in it. I tried quinoa (didn't like it), some pasta dish my sister made (it would have been okay without the white sauce) - I try things regularly.
Anonymous
| Go through the drive through on the way there so you're not starving. Smile a lot, ask for water, push food around on your plate ... have a good time. Suck it up. |
Anonymous
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OP here.
Thank you all for your opinions. I did decline. To clarify a few things: -it wasn't a party, just her family having our family for dinner. -the anxiety some of you picked up on from me was not anxiety over the food itself, but over once again rejecting her offer to host us. I know she loves to serve delicacies like goat tongue or whatever, and when her family comes to our house she happily eats whatever we serve and likes it, and we enjoy enough of an overlap of restaurants to go out to eat happily. I don't want her to worry we think her house is too dirty or something. - I *have* tried many foods, and tried them many times. At a certain point though, don't you stop doing things you hate and just say "You know what? This is who I am" and find a way to make peace with it? At a certain point you stop going to yoga or trying to become a golfer or get your hair to look good when you blow it out or stop trying to knit people sweaters. I'm tired of burning my tongue and not being able to taste anything for two or more days. - I'm 41. My kids like all the foods I like (except one of them objects to eating sea objects so won't eat any seafood, and one prefers her eggs cooked differently than I do). They like stuff I don't like too. -when I'm at a sit-down dinner party, I do take a little of a few things and push them around my plate. but yes, when I'm at a party where the food is laid out and people just take as they want, I don't want to waste food by taking what I won't eat. -I apologize if I was offensive in describing the chicken with sauce on it. |
Anonymous
Some people are just like this, PP. It's just the way they are built. They aren't TRYING to have difficulty with textures and flavors. I'm sure if they had a choice, they would choose to be more like everyone else, and eat foods that everyone else eats. They really aren't being poverly sensitive, just to piss you off. It's usually a texture thing. The difference between a smooth texture and a solid texture say, is really off putting. It makes them lose their appetite or want to throw up. So things like gravy and sauce aren't appetizeing at all. Imagine being really hungry, and going to a meal that is supposed to be delicious food, and instead it is something really, really unappetizing. And this happens All. The. Time. Don't you think if people had a choice, they would choose to love to eat food like everyone else does? Why do you think they are doing it, just to be immature? Would you also say that about people who have asthma? (Why can't you just run like everyone else?) Or migranes (you are so immature -- you are just doing this to get attention). Or about people who were born gay? (Why can't you just be hetero like everyone else?) Have some compassion, for Christ's sake. (I'm not a picky eater. But my adult brother is, and my son is. It happens, and isn't due to being raised poorly. Some people just are more sensitive than others, to texture and taste and smell). |
Anonymous
Let's be honest -- mole DOES look like baby shit. http://photos.travelblog.org/Photos/33572/138272/f/981944-Mexican-Chicken-Mole-pronounced-Molay-0.jpg |
Anonymous
| And, OP, you agreed that the mole tasted delicious!! That's great! |