Should we cancel our 4th of July party?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand that a lot of your reading her as a QB is very nuanced, and you're in the best position to judge if she's being catty.

But, is there any possible (even if improbable) innocent explanation for this? Did she throw a July 4 party last year? Could their decision to host have nothing to do with you or your mutual friend group? Can you see her invite list--is it only a perfect Venn digram with your mutual friend group, or are they inviting other people unconnected to that group?

The QB had already RSVPed to OP’s party at the exact same time and acknowledged that she was fully aware she did so.

Yes but that doesn't necessarily mean that she decided to host an entire party simply because she'd been invited to OPs. I've plenty of times RSVP'd to something, and then things shift in my family landscape and I develop a conflict or even affirmatively make conflicting plans for reasons entirely unrelated to the initial invite. QB's response to OP's reach out could also be read as awkwardness.

Then you don’t understand RSVPs and that you are rude. Illness or death is the only reason that you should be backing out of a yes RSVP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can we all agree to meet back here on July 5th to hear who showed up to OP's party?

I am dying to know what will happen. I hope she comes back to update us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand that a lot of your reading her as a QB is very nuanced, and you're in the best position to judge if she's being catty.

But, is there any possible (even if improbable) innocent explanation for this? Did she throw a July 4 party last year? Could their decision to host have nothing to do with you or your mutual friend group? Can you see her invite list--is it only a perfect Venn digram with your mutual friend group, or are they inviting other people unconnected to that group?

The QB had already RSVPed to OP’s party at the exact same time and acknowledged that she was fully aware she did so.

Yes but that doesn't necessarily mean that she decided to host an entire party simply because she'd been invited to OPs. I've plenty of times RSVP'd to something, and then things shift in my family landscape and I develop a conflict or even affirmatively make conflicting plans for reasons entirely unrelated to the initial invite. QB's response to OP's reach out could also be read as awkwardness.

Then you don’t understand RSVPs and that you are rude. Illness or death is the only reason that you should be backing out of a yes RSVP.

Actually, Miss Manners also allows backing out if you receive an invitation to the White House. It supersedes all other invitations. So happy to finally have a place to drop thst knowledge!

Although, I do think it would be rude to actually, say, bow out of your grandmother’s funeral to go for a photo op in the Lincoln bedroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can we all agree to meet back here on July 5th to hear who showed up to OP's party?

I am dying to know what will happen. I hope she comes back to update us.

Hell yes. I love hearing how stories like this resolve. I wish everyone would update how their capers came down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand that a lot of your reading her as a QB is very nuanced, and you're in the best position to judge if she's being catty.

But, is there any possible (even if improbable) innocent explanation for this? Did she throw a July 4 party last year? Could their decision to host have nothing to do with you or your mutual friend group? Can you see her invite list--is it only a perfect Venn digram with your mutual friend group, or are they inviting other people unconnected to that group?

The QB had already RSVPed to OP’s party at the exact same time and acknowledged that she was fully aware she did so.

Yes but that doesn't necessarily mean that she decided to host an entire party simply because she'd been invited to OPs. I've plenty of times RSVP'd to something, and then things shift in my family landscape and I develop a conflict or even affirmatively make conflicting plans for reasons entirely unrelated to the initial invite. QB's response to OP's reach out could also be read as awkwardness.

Then you don’t understand RSVPs and that you are rude. Illness or death is the only reason that you should be backing out of a yes RSVP.

Oh agree--maybe I missed where the QB backed out. Did QB withdraw her RSVP?

[Anonymous]

OP, is there anyone who you didn't invite, that QB may have perceived as a slight to one of QB's friends?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Assume she forgot about your party. Text her and say you can’t make it to her fourth party because you are already hosting yours and hope she can still make it to yours.

The drama maybe just in your own head.

Nah. The woman knows and is being a bit--.

[Anonymous]

Yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand that a lot of your reading her as a QB is very nuanced, and you're in the best position to judge if she's being catty.

But, is there any possible (even if improbable) innocent explanation for this? Did she throw a July 4 party last year? Could their decision to host have nothing to do with you or your mutual friend group? Can you see her invite list--is it only a perfect Venn digram with your mutual friend group, or are they inviting other people unconnected to that group?

The QB had already RSVPed to OP’s party at the exact same time and acknowledged that she was fully aware she did so.

Yes but that doesn't necessarily mean that she decided to host an entire party simply because she'd been invited to OPs. I've plenty of times RSVP'd to something, and then things shift in my family landscape and I develop a conflict or even affirmatively make conflicting plans for reasons entirely unrelated to the initial invite. QB's response to OP's reach out could also be read as awkwardness.

Then you don’t understand RSVPs and that you are rude. Illness or death is the only reason that you should be backing out of a yes RSVP.

Oh agree--maybe I missed where the QB backed out. Did QB withdraw her RSVP?

No.

[Anonymous]

Llama, llama, stop the drama

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand that a lot of your reading her as a QB is very nuanced, and you're in the best position to judge if she's being catty.

But, is there any possible (even if improbable) innocent explanation for this? Did she throw a July 4 party last year? Could their decision to host have nothing to do with you or your mutual friend group? Can you see her invite list--is it only a perfect Venn digram with your mutual friend group, or are they inviting other people unconnected to that group?

The QB had already RSVPed to OP’s party at the exact same time and acknowledged that she was fully aware she did so.

Yes but that doesn't necessarily mean that she decided to host an entire party simply because she'd been invited to OPs. I've plenty of times RSVP'd to something, and then things shift in my family landscape and I develop a conflict or even affirmatively make conflicting plans for reasons entirely unrelated to the initial invite. QB's response to OP's reach out could also be read as awkwardness.

Then you don’t understand RSVPs and that you are rude. Illness or death is the only reason that you should be backing out of a yes RSVP.

Oh agree--maybe I missed where the QB backed out. Did QB withdraw her RSVP?

Why do people have so much trouble understanding forums? I am responding the the post that I quoted, where PP said "I've plenty of times RSVP'd to something, and then things shift in my family landscape and I develop a conflict or even affirmatively make conflicting plans for reasons entirely unrelated to the initial invite."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We moved to our current area two years ago and made a solid group of friends with similar aged children.

All has been going well. There’s is one woman who has a lot of pull with our social group. She has always been friendly with me but I know she is capable of being catty.

For Memorial Day she hosted a party. We did not attend and instead saw old friends on our old neighborhood about an hour away.

After we returned I noticed a shift in her behavior towards me. She was just less friendly, a bit shorter.

We planned to host a 4th of July party and sent out invites mid-May (6-8 weeks advance tends to be the norm for this friend group). She RSVP’d as well as many others.

Today I got an invite for the same day and the same time to *her* 4th of July party.

This seems very weird no? We didn’t just not show up to her Memorial Day party. We let her know we couldn’t make it far in advance. We had already planned on seeing our old friends.

This is the only thing I can think of that would upset her. We are all in our mid to late 30s so this kind of behavior just seems juvenile.

My husband and I aren’t about social drama so are thinking about canceling our party. We honestly only threw ours because we don’t host often and felt like we should but won’t if it’s going to split our group. We know we’d lose anyways and I don’t want to waste time, money and effort on a party no one attends.

I think the polite thing to do would be to cancel your party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can we all agree to meet back here on July 5th to hear who showed up to OP's party?

it's on my calendar!

Lol, and I’m going to make sure not to schedule anything else for that day!

[Anonymous]

Host your party. Have fun. We want an update.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand that a lot of your reading her as a QB is very nuanced, and you're in the best position to judge if she's being catty.

But, is there any possible (even if improbable) innocent explanation for this? Did she throw a July 4 party last year? Could their decision to host have nothing to do with you or your mutual friend group? Can you see her invite list--is it only a perfect Venn digram with your mutual friend group, or are they inviting other people unconnected to that group?

The QB had already RSVPed to OP’s party at the exact same time and acknowledged that she was fully aware she did so.

Yes but that doesn't necessarily mean that she decided to host an entire party simply because she'd been invited to OPs. I've plenty of times RSVP'd to something, and then things shift in my family landscape and I develop a conflict or even affirmatively make conflicting plans for reasons entirely unrelated to the initial invite. QB's response to OP's reach out could also be read as awkwardness.

Then you don’t understand RSVPs and that you are rude. Illness or death is the only reason that you should be backing out of a yes RSVP.

Something shifted in her family landscape, ok? Illness, death, or vibes.