Tips for dating with "niche looks" in my 40s

[Anonymous]

Do you have kids? Have you ever been married?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So you are 5'6", a biker, covered in tattoos, not conventionally handsome, not really open to kids even though your dating age range for women are child bearing years, not really open to blondes, not really open to black women....

You have too many dings against you to be this picky.

Expand your dating age range to consider women in their 50s who have adult kids. And you are in no position to find blondes unattractive. Look at them a little longer, say a chant, and change your mind. You cannot afford to eliminate any woman from the dating pool because there are too many strikes against you.

You don't want emotions, you don't want children, and you want as little time together as possible. Women usually go for taller, more conventionally attractive guys for these kinds of relationships. They tend to go for guys like you when they are very loving and very kind and parent material.

Stop cos playing Idris Elba or Jason Maoma when you look like Chris Rock with tattoos. You have to work harder for tussy.

Another option: I have a friend who is similar in looks to you without tattoos and without money. He has been married 4 times -- he marries foreign women, and they last 3-4 years. Then he marries another. The women are way more attractive than he is, and there is usually no drama when they divorce. No kids though. He is very hapoy with his life. So perhaps get a vasectomy and become a passport bro.

Appreciate the tips. To clarify, not against dating blonde women or black women. Was expressing my past history with the black women that I have dated and whether or not I was going for blondes with big boobs exclusively.

I thought that the more flexible dates were the way to go but I’m hearing folks when they offer the cons or at least the cons in perspective. I think splitting the baby so that neither me nor the other person on the date feel obligated to stick around if we’re not vibing is key. I’ll think about this more.

Not trying to cosplay anyone. Don’t know where that comes from.

[Anonymous]

No kids. Never been married.

[Anonymous]

5ft6 and looks like Curtis Mayfield, I hate to say it but you either need to be really rich or lower your standards for looks. Or maybe date a woman from a culture who does not prioritize male looks and height and is about 4’10 herself.

I don’t doubt you’re a nice person, but life is cruel like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you are 5'6", a biker, covered in tattoos, not conventionally handsome, not really open to kids even though your dating age range for women are child bearing years, not really open to blondes, not really open to black women....

You have too many dings against you to be this picky.

Expand your dating age range to consider women in their 50s who have adult kids. And you are in no position to find blondes unattractive. Look at them a little longer, say a chant, and change your mind. You cannot afford to eliminate any woman from the dating pool because there are too many strikes against you.

You don't want emotions, you don't want children, and you want as little time together as possible. Women usually go for taller, more conventionally attractive guys for these kinds of relationships. They tend to go for guys like you when they are very loving and very kind and parent material.

Stop cos playing Idris Elba or Jason Maoma when you look like Chris Rock with tattoos. You have to work harder for tussy.

Another option: I have a friend who is similar in looks to you without tattoos and without money. He has been married 4 times -- he marries foreign women, and they last 3-4 years. Then he marries another. The women are way more attractive than he is, and there is usually no drama when they divorce. No kids though. He is very hapoy with his life. So perhaps get a vasectomy and become a passport bro.

Appreciate the tips. To clarify, not against dating blonde women or black women. Was expressing my past history with the black women that I have dated and whether or not I was going for blondes with big boobs exclusively.

I thought that the more flexible dates were the way to go but I’m hearing folks when they offer the cons or at least the cons in perspective. I think splitting the baby so that neither me nor the other person on the date feel obligated to stick around if we’re not vibing is key. I’ll think about this more.

Not trying to cosplay anyone. Don’t know where that comes from.

Come on dude. You are picky. You could have said you do not discriminate -- there was no need to say you don't really find blonde women attractive just because someone implied you were going for blondes only. And then there is the thing with black women -- I bet you there are more atheist/ atheist tolerant black women than there are women interested in a man with tattoos covering his entire body. You seem to lack some self awareness, and if you are coming off like this to your dates, it's not good. Don't do the judgy " do you only hang out with high earners or do you serve food at the soup kitchen" nonsense either when you go on dates. It's crap and does not really determine what kind of person someone is.

And then you are picky about fussy women too. Women fuss. They will settle for an emotional unavailable man who is good looking and then fuss to their girlfriends. And then they will break up with the guy after his looks stop doing it for them. But they will not do that for you. With your looks, height and tattoos, you have to be caring, well dressed, not bulky, attentive, thoughtful and considerate to get a woman wet. You don't seem to be. You seem to be no nonsense, which is fine. But it makes it harder to get a woman. Not impossible, but harder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you have kids? Have you ever been married?

I’m not the OP but he has answered these questions many times.

He has no kids and doesn’t want kids.

He has never been married.

[Anonymous]

I’m curious to hear why women broke up with you in the past. I don’t think you’ve answered that yet.

But, your biggest issue is the no kids thing. Most women want kids. It’s not a good idea to have them if you don’t want them, but you’ll likely have to stick to dating women who already have older kids and don’t want more.

I’m guessing that right now you’re dating mostly mid-late 30s women, and those women are on a time crunch to get married and have kids. If you don’t want them, they’re going to reject you pretty early on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have kids? Have you ever been married?

I’m not the OP but he has answered these questions many times.

He has no kids and doesn’t want kids.

He has never been married.

Reminds me of You have any kids?
Yes I have one daughter. How about you?
How many baby daddies do you have?
I have one daughter...

[Anonymous]

What are you looking for OP? You never said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let’s say I wanted to meet a tallish lawyer with tattoos where would I find a guy like that in the wild on a Sunday afternoon? Just curious.

You dont have to answer that but 👀

What kind of lawyer? Corporate lawyer? You can find him in his home office, probably.

Lmao ok smarty pants

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious to hear why women broke up with you in the past. I don’t think you’ve answered that yet.

But, your biggest issue is the no kids thing. Most women want kids. It’s not a good idea to have them if you don’t want them, but you’ll likely have to stick to dating women who already have older kids and don’t want more.

I’m guessing that right now you’re dating mostly mid-late 30s women, and those women are on a time crunch to get married and have kids. If you don’t want them, they’re going to reject you pretty early on.

If they break up with me early on: not feeling it; not feeling a spark; that I'm "too much of a square";
If they break up with me after a longer period/relationship: "too nice"; not taking the lead like they want to have in the relationship; not masculine enough; too boring.

I'm looking for a relationship that leads to marriage or if she doesn't want to get married a long-term monogamous exclusive relationship. Not wanting a poly thing or situationship. (may seem redundant, but its happened more than once that they want to add me to a roster or add a third person).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So you are 5'6", a biker, covered in tattoos, not conventionally handsome, not really open to kids even though your dating age range for women are child bearing years, not really open to blondes, not really open to black women....

You have too many dings against you to be this picky.

Expand your dating age range to consider women in their 50s who have adult kids. And you are in no position to find blondes unattractive. Look at them a little longer, say a chant, and change your mind. You cannot afford to eliminate any woman from the dating pool because there are too many strikes against you.

You don't want emotions, you don't want children, and you want as little time together as possible. Women usually go for taller, more conventionally attractive guys for these kinds of relationships. They tend to go for guys like you when they are very loving and very kind and parent material.

Stop cos playing Idris Elba or Jason Maoma when you look like Chris Rock with tattoos. You have to work harder for tussy.

Another option: I have a friend who is similar in looks to you without tattoos and without money. He has been married 4 times -- he marries foreign women, and they last 3-4 years. Then he marries another. The women are way more attractive than he is, and there is usually no drama when they divorce. No kids though. He is very hapoy with his life. So perhaps get a vasectomy and become a passport bro.

😩😩😩😩

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious to hear why women broke up with you in the past. I don’t think you’ve answered that yet.

But, your biggest issue is the no kids thing. Most women want kids. It’s not a good idea to have them if you don’t want them, but you’ll likely have to stick to dating women who already have older kids and don’t want more.

I’m guessing that right now you’re dating mostly mid-late 30s women, and those women are on a time crunch to get married and have kids. If you don’t want them, they’re going to reject you pretty early on.

If they break up with me early on: not feeling it; not feeling a spark; that I'm "too much of a square";
If they break up with me after a longer period/relationship: "too nice"; not taking the lead like they want to have in the relationship; not masculine enough; too boring.

I'm looking for a relationship that leads to marriage or if she doesn't want to get married a long-term monogamous exclusive relationship. Not wanting a poly thing or situationship. (may seem redundant, but its happened more than once that they want to add me to a roster or add a third person).

So why don’t you take the lead?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious to hear why women broke up with you in the past. I don’t think you’ve answered that yet.

But, your biggest issue is the no kids thing. Most women want kids. It’s not a good idea to have them if you don’t want them, but you’ll likely have to stick to dating women who already have older kids and don’t want more.

I’m guessing that right now you’re dating mostly mid-late 30s women, and those women are on a time crunch to get married and have kids. If you don’t want them, they’re going to reject you pretty early on.

If they break up with me early on: not feeling it; not feeling a spark; that I'm "too much of a square";
If they break up with me after a longer period/relationship: "too nice"; not taking the lead like they want to have in the relationship; not masculine enough; too boring.

I'm looking for a relationship that leads to marriage or if she doesn't want to get married a long-term monogamous exclusive relationship. Not wanting a poly thing or situationship. (may seem redundant, but its happened more than once that they want to add me to a roster or add a third person).

I find this statement so confusing. You ride BMX bikes and have tattoos. To me, you’re out there, nice lawyer notwithstanding. I’d talk to a social skills coach. If nothing makes sense, it’s usually that. I wish you the best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Looking like Curtis Mayfield, are tattoos even visible on your skin?

Yes, they are black and gray American traditional so they are quite bold and “readable” even from a bit of a distance away.

Would be interesting to price out what a complete body suit removal would cost. Not going to remove them but iam curious how that would be priced is all.

Ugh, are any of them pinup girls? That would be a major turn off for most women.

Look, dude, tattoos+BMX+not wanting kids scream “this guy isn’t serious and will cheat” whether or not you actually do. Every woman has dated the tattooed punk dude who drank too much, cheated, stole money, whatever, and aren’t eager to do it again.

You’re too much for the Type A, professional women. You could do fine with artsy women, but you’re too cold, unemotional, and judgmental for them.

Something has to give. If you won’t budge on the tattoos, fine, but you’re going to have to learn to be emotionally available rather than getting frustrated by women having emotions. You’re going to have to stop treating dates like job interviews. Probably you’ll need some form of therapy to figure out why you’re like that.

Yep, this! I'm a more artsy type woman and I would have no issue with a shorter guy, I actually like tattoos (although the full body suit is a bit much honestly but I would definitely be with a man who had full sleeves) but it sounds like he doesn't want a woman to have any feelings and that's where I would draw the line.