Location sharing with spouse

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I share locations with my spouse, children, mother, sister, and in-laws, including my sister-in-law and nieces. We also have several active group texts that include mundane photos of our dinners and sunset walks. I think we've always been like this.

I’d hate to be one of your relatives receiving pictures of your dinners and sunset walks. How dull. Aren’t we all busy enough without this drivel?

[Anonymous]

We share. It saves me multiple checkins with my highly busy exec wife about when she has left the office so I can finish getting dinner ready. She's often too busy to send a message anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know couples that location share for logistical purposes, and it seems to work well for them. Neither I or DH have every expressed interest in doing so with each other, but I don't think he's have a strong reaction if I were to suggest it. I just don't need someone knowing where I am at every moment of my life. I'm not doing anything shady, I just enjoy autonomy.

But then your problem would be being married to someone who wanted to know where you are all the time. I've checked my husband's location once so far in 2026. Before that I probably did it in the summer of 2025? It's not like I have my phone screen up all day next to me so I can see where he is at all times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Meh. Sharing is weird. You’re an adult. If you’re out and about and something happens and you need his help, you’ll call. If it’s something serious, fire truck/ambulance/police will arrive to help you before he does. Sharing locations is just another manifestation of the constant state of anxiety everyone has now.

Meh. Not sharing is weird. You’re married, you share bodily fluid but you can’t share your location? Not sharing is just another manifestation of the constant state of anxiety. Everyone has now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No we don't share, nor would I. We very occasioally turn it on if one of us will be alone in a remote place just for safety but otherwise no. I don't need to know where he is every single second and he doesn't need to know where I am. I have zero interest in tracking him and have zero interest in being tracked. I am someone that likes privacy and wouldn't be with someone who needed to be able to check on me 24/7 and know where I was at all times.

And if my teen daugher told me that her boyfriend wanted to track her and needed to know where she is at all times, I would not tell her oh that is so sweet and loving, he just clearly cares about you so much. I would tell her to run.

I find this so odd given that I have kids. Why wouldn't you want your spouse (or your child) to know where you are? Do you literally just leave the house and say I'll be back in 4 hours but I'm not telling you where I'm going?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No we don't share, nor would I. We very occasioally turn it on if one of us will be alone in a remote place just for safety but otherwise no. I don't need to know where he is every single second and he doesn't need to know where I am. I have zero interest in tracking him and have zero interest in being tracked. I am someone that likes privacy and wouldn't be with someone who needed to be able to check on me 24/7 and know where I was at all times.

And if my teen daugher told me that her boyfriend wanted to track her and needed to know where she is at all times, I would not tell her oh that is so sweet and loving, he just clearly cares about you so much. I would tell her to run.

That's obviously different.

[Anonymous]

I like to start to soak the martinis about five minutes before they arrive home so sharing location is helpful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No we don't share, nor would I. We very occasioally turn it on if one of us will be alone in a remote place just for safety but otherwise no. I don't need to know where he is every single second and he doesn't need to know where I am. I have zero interest in tracking him and have zero interest in being tracked. I am someone that likes privacy and wouldn't be with someone who needed to be able to check on me 24/7 and know where I was at all times.

And if my teen daugher told me that her boyfriend wanted to track her and needed to know where she is at all times, I would not tell her oh that is so sweet and loving, he just clearly cares about you so much. I would tell her to run.

That's obviously different.

Except everybody in high school shares their location on Snapchat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know couples that location share for logistical purposes, and it seems to work well for them. Neither I or DH have every expressed interest in doing so with each other, but I don't think he's have a strong reaction if I were to suggest it. I just don't need someone knowing where I am at every moment of my life. I'm not doing anything shady, I just enjoy autonomy.

Autonomy is about having control over your own behavior and actions without coercive external manipulation. Your autonomy is not changed by letting someone check where you are if they need to. Simply being aware of your location is not controling you. If it were used for a manipulative purpose or to control your behavior in some way, then you have problems in the relationship unrelated to one's ability to know where you are. Fear of location tracking should be viewed as a symptom of another problem in the relationship.

To each their own. To me, tracking the location of others is a symptom of another problem in the relationship.

I think you're really missing the point. No one is TRACKING their spouse's location as in watching where they are all day. I mean, some people may be, but the normal people on here saying it's not a big deal to share locations are not.

It's funny to me that you have no problem with Meta and everyone else knowing where you are at all times, but heaven forbid your spouse know.

[Anonymous]

I can only think of suspect reasons NOT to share. A controlling spouse you are hiding from, some kind of unhealthy boundary issues in your relationship you haven't addressed, laziness, doing things you shouldn't be doing or aren't willing to share.

And at its very core, it's a safety issue.

Honestly, if you have children, especially kids who are driving age, and you don't have "find my" or life 360 with your whole family, why not?

[Anonymous]

I think we grew up in a different era. We lived in a pretty rural place. We aren't high tech people.

Even now in their 70s, my mom might say - hey I am going out for a bit and my dad just yells back - okay!. And while she is out he might run an errand to the store. Neither of them knows exactly where the other is, nor do they care.

I am really glad I grew up when I did before all the anxiety that exists now over communication and locations. I didn't carry it over into my adult life or my kids. My kids are older now - young adults out on their own. There is no panic for me as I have never known their exact locations at any given time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We share. We have nothing to hide. If you are freaking out—that shows me you have something to be worried about. If your lives are as boring as ours it’s no big deal

Do you feel the same way about government surveillance?

Are you equating the father of my children and life partner of 28 years to a complete stranger?

You are the dumbest person I have encountered today. Congrats!

I am responding to your position that (paraphrasing) "if you have nothing to hide, you have nothing to worry about." This has often been used to condone government/police surveillance/interrogation. I fundamentally disagree with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No we don't share, nor would I. We very occasioally turn it on if one of us will be alone in a remote place just for safety but otherwise no. I don't need to know where he is every single second and he doesn't need to know where I am. I have zero interest in tracking him and have zero interest in being tracked. I am someone that likes privacy and wouldn't be with someone who needed to be able to check on me 24/7 and know where I was at all times.

And if my teen daugher told me that her boyfriend wanted to track her and needed to know where she is at all times, I would not tell her oh that is so sweet and loving, he just clearly cares about you so much. I would tell her to run.

It's pretty sad that you relate adult marriages with teen flings. Beyond bizarre to consider those the same situation.

I don't associate it with any healthy relationship and it isn't something I would model for my teens or tell them would be healthy for them now or later. I don't think needing to track and know where your partner is at all times is healthy in any relationship at any age. Cell phones are definitely a convenience but the idea now that it means that you expect access to people at all times isn't a positive. I also tell them that they aren't required to answer every message immediately - that they do not need to be at anyone's beck and call. I personally think a lot of harm is done to relationships when we see cell phones as this tether and we track people and require them to answer within x minutes or else. But I get that for many, they like control and so they model and teach that for their kids.

Ah, the crux of your issue. You view your spouse having potential access to your location as "controlling". Found the cheater!

Not a cheater at all. But yes I think that anyone who needs access to be able to track their partners whereabouts and movements at all times is controlling. We don't track our kids either. We believe in personal autonomy and independence and have zero interest in controlling behavior. I don't really care that I don't know that my husband left work at 6:03 and then turned left instead of his normal route turning right and that his car stopped for 3.5 minutes in a certain location where there is a pharmacy and that he then got home at 6:46 instead of the 6:41 that I would have expected based on the estimates given by the tracking information. I truly don't care. I am not going to quiz him on his route or why it took longer than google maps said it did and why he made a stop - people here are paranoid their spouses are cheating - that is why that information is so vital to them to have at their fingertips 24/7.

Sigh. The whole point is that you wouldn't know any of them unless you were stalking him. It's like you have no idea how technology works.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No we don't share, nor would I. We very occasioally turn it on if one of us will be alone in a remote place just for safety but otherwise no. I don't need to know where he is every single second and he doesn't need to know where I am. I have zero interest in tracking him and have zero interest in being tracked. I am someone that likes privacy and wouldn't be with someone who needed to be able to check on me 24/7 and know where I was at all times.

And if my teen daugher told me that her boyfriend wanted to track her and needed to know where she is at all times, I would not tell her oh that is so sweet and loving, he just clearly cares about you so much. I would tell her to run.

That's obviously different.

+100. Knowing where your spouse is, with whom you share a loving partnership with healthy boundaries, and lots of administrative/logistical balls in the air, is 100 times different than a controlling teenage romantic partner.

I'm worried about the partners out there who can't see that there is a difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don't track and we also don't share phone passwords - again for no reason other than we just don't see the need and we like our privacy. We like still being two independent people.

It has never really been an issue.

You think location sharing morphs you into someone who is not independent? But you somehow think you are not dependent on your spouse but the vary nature of them being your spouse?

No, I just think by nature and personality, we are independent people - more so than a lot of couples and so the idea of following each others locations or using each others phones just doesn't really come up as something we would think of or want to do.

This. The worst is couples who share an email address. The codependency is off the charts.